Saturday, March 20th 2010

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Elza Soares, famous Samba singer and the unofficial Cougar Queen of Brazil!

You can put down the stake and take off that necklace made out of garlic cloves, because Elza's beauty means you no harm. If it makes you feel better, you can hold your favorite stuffed animal while staring at her.

Elza has had several Samba hits over in Brazil and she was married to one of the most famous Brazilian football players of all-time who went by the name Garrincha. He's dead now. Apparently, nowadays Elza is now best known for striking ladylike poses (i.e. chichis poppin', pussy rockin') in whory Brazilian magazines. And at 72-years-old, Elza is getting ready to marry her 27-year-old hustler boyfriend. Yes, your abuelita still has the stuff (aka a fist full of money) that makes the young roosters scream, "Cock-a-doodle do me!"

Here's more beauty shots of Elza in action. If Chaka Khan was chilling out in a hot tub with a bunch of wild cats while Jocelyn Wildenstein injected her face with Lyn May's saliva and an analog TV playing an Irma Serrano movie accidentally fell in the water electrocuting them all........the aftermath would look just like Elza Soares. Beauty times a million.

(For Lígia)

Posted by: Michael K
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Submitted by tatiara on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:38pm.

OMG..my eyes!!

buddhistgirl69's picture
Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 11:24pm.

I give this woman some props for the chinese splits, but the french fried skin and the melanoma over her mouth are begging for some attention. She should be bathing in aloe vera gel.

Dj Tenn.'s picture
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 10:07pm.

Beauty times a million , MK.. I have laffed so hard about this post..

Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver.

Toonkinstein's picture
Submitted by Toonkinstein on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 12:40pm.

I smell burnt toast.

Submitted by freebird on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 7:23am.

My abuelitas are boring. I need a new spicy grammie.

TheBreakdown's picture
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 6:20am.

My eyes simply cannot handle all this beauty!

Yeah, that must be it.

***************************************

http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:

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Submitted by taste maximum high on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 9:08pm.

Dangggg, she was bee-yoo-tiful. No joke.

http://gorgeousblackwomen.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/elza-soares.jpg

Also, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/rockandjazzmusic/3617170/Brazil...

That article makes her my kind of awesome. Still, the plastic surgery is so unfortunate. If she'd just get the mole removed she would be 500% better.

Cake666's picture
Submitted by Cake666 on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 8:33pm.

My eyes hate me right now.

B!i!i!iD~
For your health.

Cake666's picture
Submitted by Cake666 on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 8:33pm.

My eyes hate me right now.

B!i!i!iD~
For your health.

Brenda Love's picture
Submitted by Brenda Love on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 7:59pm.

Forget the woman. What we really need to be discussing is that amazing breath-taking mullet.

Submitted by chippychazoo on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 5:52pm.

I think she must have had arm lifts or something, not a wrinkle on them. Maybe the surgeon pulls the skin up tight like a big sausage skin over the arm. The face is completely natural, obviously. Is she Carrot top's mum?

Submitted by PuppyJuice on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 5:23pm.

There's not enough alcohol in the world to make that look good.

PuppyJuice.com

trilbynhiss's picture
Submitted by trilbynhiss on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 4:59pm.

She looked a little like Uhura back in the day:

http://bocaberta.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/elza-soares-02.jpg

Submitted by Bo on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 4:52pm.

Wow! I thought that was Cleo Lane for a minute.

A Noun _is a person place or thing_'s picture
Submitted by A Noun _is a pe... on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 4:21pm.

Speechless. I'll be under the bed, hold my calls.

Ethel Mertz's picture
Submitted by Ethel Mertz on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 4:17pm.

You can laugh and she is a little sad but she is a great samba singer. Great! At a time when everyone was doing bossa nova, Elza was rocking the samba. I love her.

Vermithrax's picture
Submitted by Vermithrax on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 4:01pm.

En'kay BAAARF... WHAT THA' FAAAHHCK...

Submitted by mbar on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 3:49pm.

Plastic surgeons are willing to do this to people. Wow. Creepy bastards.

Submitted by c-est_moi on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 2:35pm.

the pic in the bathtub, with the pink tile, looks like a nan goldin photo. you can't make sh** up better than this.

pompoos's picture
Submitted by pompoos on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 2:25pm.

I love you MK!! Forever and ever. I dont even mind that you keep posting all these boring animals. One Samba queen makes up for a million spaghetti cats and stains.

Submitted by putas on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 2:00pm.

Was she pretty when she was...when she was young?
Women who were exquisite beauties often seem to have the hardest time aging hence the excessive surgery. Just wondering.

her cleavage in that picture looks like warm bologna fused together by Saran wrap- it's CONNECTED?! Makes Tori Spelling /Viveca Fox's messes up boob jobs look fantastic.

HoityToity's picture
Submitted by HoityToity on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:44pm.

Love, love, love her expression in the bathtub. It says loud and clear, "Yeah, that's right, bitches!" Good for her for spending her fortune this way. I too plan on spending my $500 social security check the same way. I am sure I could keep me a homeless whino for fiddy dollahs.

EvilShoe's picture
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:42pm.

omg I feel sick looking at that. I just downed a bunch of Dayquil too (my shoe-ass is ill) and it doesn't help to see this afterwards.

Submitted by YourClothesAreDead on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:40pm.

Does she wear feather boas and can she play the synthesizer? If not I'm just going to stick with Margarita Pracatan.

thereplacement's picture
Submitted by thereplacement on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:31pm.

i agree with the guy talking about suzanna vieira. check her out. CLASSY. i mean, among several dellusional things she says (like, she's a REALLY great actress.. *cof*) she had a much younger boyfriend who was a cop and died of a cocaine OD in a garage wearing white speedos. need more?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2GqH1F-Fj0

pull a kanye on live tv with the interviwer 'cause she doesn't have patience with begginers.

and elza. well. elza. 72 years of looking creepy. i think bitch is like 200 years old.
the last young guy she was dating looked like carrot top without the muscles.

Jill-The-Ripper's picture
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:25pm.

Is she marrying him because she's 72 and he is the numerical reverse of her age at 27?
She needs to find a rat to nibble off that big mole on her lip. Perhaps the new hubby will take care of it.

Submitted by snideychick on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:16pm.

Snideychick sez:

Is her last name pronounced like sores because she she looks like a big oozing one!

Submitted by TheBrazilliant on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:15pm.

Madonna, take notes.

Submitted by TheBrazilliant on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:13pm.

In Brazil, Elza is always mentioned when someone is talking about scary shit.

And she thinks she is the cherry on top of all pies in the world. Really, it's not only her face that is scary, her ego is so powerful that it could suck the light out of the sun.

angel_i's picture
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:08pm.

OMG THAT WAS REALLY SCARY! BOOOOOOOHOOOHOOHOO!!!!

MAMA! MK IS SCARING ME AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

♥ Threadkilla!
Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common.
~ Dorothy Parker

madam s.'s picture
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:08pm.

That photo is going to haunt me for years to come though.

____________________
FIST PUMP!!

madam s.'s picture
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:07pm.

Now that I'm done wimpering in fear and can uncurl myself from the fetal position... you.. go.. grandma? I mean, 72... at least she's shakin' to the Sambas instead of watching soap operas in a retirement home while complaining about the temperature of the room. She's living like she means it.

____________________
FIST PUMP!!

You_Complete_Me.'s picture
Submitted by You_Complete_Me. on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:06pm.

FUCKEN HELLLLLLLLLLL........

<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus

babybunny's picture
Submitted by babybunny on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:59pm.

I for one am scared of her beauty, and so is my dog..and cats, rooster, chicken and ducks...we are all shaking now! WTF??? Exactly how many facelifts has this heina had??? I mean, that face is stretched within an inch of her life...I am sure she was a hotty pototty in her day, but dayum, give it a rest homegirl! I guess he is marrying her for love, right???

chaka1's picture
Submitted by chaka1 on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:57pm.

This is the hot bitch of the UNIVERSE. LOVES IT and her steriody boobs...

Auntie Mame's picture
Submitted by Auntie Mame on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:48pm.

Queen of the Damned. She looks like a 4000 year old vampire.

"Get up and put your BITCHFACE on!"

dreadloccowgirl's picture
Submitted by dreadloccowgirl on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:44pm.

Old Girl is trying to keep it tight. I ain't mad at her. Shit, I'm gonna book a flight to Brazil to get some work done!

==================================================
"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

like-wow's picture
Submitted by like-wow on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:39pm.

That is one greasy looking ho.

lifeislikecake's picture
Submitted by lifeislikecake on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:31pm.

OMG OMG IM SCARED. HOLD ME.

Dgrin's picture
Submitted by Dgrin on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:31pm.

plastic tits still look nice,slightly droopy but still.

Submitted by Allotta Fagina on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:30pm.

The use of the purple Sharpie is phenomenal! It looks like someone needs to take her to a car wash and spray her down like a bad kid.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My name is Richie Cunningham, and this is my wife, White Oprah.

Zonko's picture
Submitted by Zonko on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:29pm.

I'm scared and nauseous.

CuriouserAndCuriouser's picture
Submitted by CuriouserAndCur... on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:28pm.

It looks like she bathes in Sevin Nyne.

little_rascal's picture
Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:22pm.

Gross! This meemaw should bake cookies for her great grandchildren instead instead of showing her droopy boobs.

Rhoda's picture
Submitted by Rhoda on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:19pm.

Nast!

snowball's picture
Submitted by snowball on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:14pm.

Shit, that's nasty. Look how big her head is, even if you don't count the freaky wig. Can you imagine what she smells like?

_______

Think of all the amounts of dick butter, ass jelly, nose dingles, taint cream and pit wine he has produced. (MK)

Mother Superior's picture
Submitted by Mother Superior on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:13pm.

She looks sticky.
Buy, hey, if her dude can handle it... :D

Submitted by putsomestankonit on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:03pm.

Its really a man in drag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dealbreakers: Man He No Good For You by Lesbian Yellow Sourfruit

Hysteria's picture
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 12:00pm.

As long as they were scraping and stretching her face, they coulda snipped off that black melanoma mole. Nasty.

.
.

Nicholeoleoleo's picture
Submitted by Nicholeoleoleo on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 11:58am.

At first glance I thought that was Chaka Khan going through crack withdrawal.

From the neck down the woman's body is impressive, but everything else looks like it got hit with a bag of WTF?!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." [Mrs. Kravitz of dlisted.com]

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