You Saw This Coming
The gates have opened and here comes the parade of skank sluts! After going through Tiger Woods' slutnami, you should already be prepared. You know what to do. Ring the alarm, slip a condom on each finger, wrap your head in saran wrap and hold tight!
A stripper named Melissa Smith, who has a face only TSG's Craigslist hooker mug shot page could love, has come forward to collect her cashiers check in exchange for the details of her alleged affair with Sandra Bullock's husband Vanilla Gorilla. Just like Boobshit McGee, Melissa met Vanilla Gorilla online.
Melissa tells Star Magazine that Vanilla Gorilla contacted her through MySpace in 2006 (bitch was already married to Sandra for one year at this point) after he saw (and jerked to) a picture of her being skanky at a West Coast Choppers party.
Melissa went on to say, "I got a message from this guy saying,'Nice car...that’s my godfather’s.' After a few exchanges, he introduced himself as Jesse James and gave me his e-mail address with the name Vanilla Gorilla."
One e-fuck led to another e-fuck, and Melissa eventually traveled to California to meet Vanilla Gorilla at his office. Vanilla Gorilla promised to take her for a ride in one of his cars, but he took her for a ride on his stick shift instead. And they did the dirty on his office couch! I swear that office couch is wanted by the CDC, The Department of Health and Hazmat. If you're planning on sitting on that couch, you better bid farewell to your asshole first. Because once you sit on it, your asshole will wither up and die like a slug in a salt storm.
Melissa says that she fucked on Vanilla Gorilla for the next two years. They never used protection.
Thanks for sharing, Melissa. Now exit stage left. Gloria Allred will meet you backstage to check to see how much dignity (if any) you have left in your system. Gloria will also test you on the art of crying on cue. In the wise words of RuPaul: "Don't fuck it up!" Or DO fuck it up, so we can be done with you early.
• 
SO what are you recommending Jack?
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"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
#3 Brigitte Daguerre
The timing of all this is fishy. I wonder if the tabloids knew about it before the Oscars but kept it under wraps to hit it while it's hot.
I don't think she knew. She was busy and thought she saved something, kind of like people who try to rehabilitate fighting dogs only to get their eyes bitten out.
YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM. HE IS AN ASSHOLE. THE END!
AND USE A CONDOM FOOL!
Submitted by DLucyAnn on Thu, 03/25/2010 - 12:00am
I would actually buy a tv to watch that.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
This one has that Tanya Harding look.
A few more of these and we'll see them on Family Feud - Tiger's Hos versus Jesse's Skanks
♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥
elen sila lumen omentilmo-LOTR
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/03/24/tf.defending.jesse.james/...
Looks like someone is in Jesse James corner. According this article, we should all LEAVE JESSE JAMES ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 10:31pm.
Oh Jesus! Look at that wreck!! Why man? Why? He'll nail anything female with tats. Standards much, Jesse? How he hooked up with Sandra Bullock, I'll never understand.
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cosign that BSF. i say Sandra is one of those 'saving' types (loves her, but this she is, bless her heart). Jesse is a tatt-fetish skank manwhore. he MARRIED a fraking porn star. whats the phrase, past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior? or better, lie w/ dogs, rise w/ fleas? or....damn, i could go on forever.
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"Don't smell me ever again. You almost ruined my whole 2 hours 47 mins and 3 seconds. If someone would've seen you pull my finger. Fart." ~Speakits (upon finding the lost sexts msgs)
Tiger Woods owes Vanilla Whorilla a fruit basket and a one-way trip to the remote island of his choice.
Why do people take marriage vows anymore? They should just say I DO whatever the hell I want.
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Oh Jesus! Look at that wreck!! Why man? Why? He'll nail anything female with tats. Standards much, Jesse? How he hooked up with Sandra Bullock, I'll never understand.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
It's good this sh!t is coming out now so Sandra will dump him. He never made any effort to be faithful or even healthy.
No wonder he didn't deny it with the tat ho.
Slutnami. LOL
But ouch for Sandra. Sounds like he was screwing others for most of their marriage.
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"Number 12 Looks Just Like You"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaVo2xifmSw
Breakdown
Thank you for that :)
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Jeniloonies, please start your assault now, since I have dared to insult your cat-lady goddess.
(Dementa 1/27/09)
Hello Kitty Ho:
No need to apologize because some people need to learn to know when they have a prize right in front of the.
Once you have it, you respect it and cherish it more and you fight for it.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
wow
Submitted by Infamous on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 6:55pm.
Ladies this is why you need to know about a mans past and his past relationships before you marry him! You cannot change a man!
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interesting... so, you think a guy is gonna tell you up front what a cheatin dick of a whore he is.... of course not, right? So what you are saying is immediately throw trust out the window and do a background check on him, etc?
whatever happened to dance like no one is watching and love like you've never been hurt before or whatever it is... I guess love/trust is a silly fairy tale notion nowadays.
trust me, I completely understand your point, I just think it is sad.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Ladies this is why you need to know about a mans past and his past relationships before you marry him! You cannot change a man!
www.theinfamouslife.com
Oh and if I get any good stuff, I think i am just gonna email it to Michael K. I don't really care to make money off this whole mess, and I love Dlisted so if he wants the info it is his for free.
He sure does have a 'type'.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 9:58am.
Hey Snowy!!!
Going over to the apt complex tomorrow. Got all my equipment set up and ready to go LOL.
Poor Sandra. She should get std testing a.s.a.p!
I need to buy more hand sanitizer. My computer screen and keyboard just got dirty from this fuckery. And for some reason I feel the urge to throw my couch out.
Oh, MK, I love how you repeated the (SEDP) Slut Emergency Drill Protocol with officiality. Our version of Stop, Drop and Roll::
"Ring the alarm, slip a condom on each finger, wrap your head in saran wrap and hold tight!" - MK
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Sandy better be on the horn to a viscious divorce lawyer and soaking her lady bits in a solution of
Clorox and old fashion brown bottle Lysol with a dash of original Lysterine for added germ killing.
"Get up and put your BITCHFACE on!"
I can only imagine how Mr. Jesse WP James talked about Tiger and his beautiful blonde wife... Well Jesse, you are that much better yourself.
Oh Geeezzzz.....That Vanilla Gorilla can't seem to keep his peeled banana to himself.....Sandra better get tested at the industrial test site at the CDC...No free corner clinic for you Sandy!
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"Escandalo! Okay, I'm totally making shit up." ~ M.K. 08/31/09
From TMZ re the sexual harassment lawsuit:
The woman claimed between 2006 - 2007, Jesse James repeatedly made sexual advances, which allegedly included sexual acts.
And, she claims after an oral encounter with Jesse, she kept a telltale Clintonesque T-shirt.
Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0j8NkQwfE
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So you can fuck your boss AND sue him for harassment? Sweet! That's a two-fer!
WHAT A SLEEZE BALL.
ugly tattoos that look like gang graffiti, check. fake tits, check.
TEAM SLUTNAMI!
Bring it on whores, I love this shit!
(sorry Sandy)
"After going through Tiger Woods' slutnami, you should already be prepared."
BWAAHAHAHA @ SLUTNAMI !!!
FEMA help me! The tide of unwashed skanks is not receding!!! SEND MORE SANDBAGS
(so we can start putting them on these narsty skrags' heads)
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Just here for the fun
Totally busted face.
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Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
this actually makes me feel a tiny bit better, in a weird way, about the "bombshell" situation. knowing she wasn't his exclusive mistress seems like a tiny bit of payback and concludes that he definitely wasn't in love with her like she claimed. i expect there will be more hos coming forward.
File this under ''Color me surprised''
http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/24/jesse-james-alleged-mistress-melissa-smith...
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Jeniloonies, please start your assault now, since I have dared to insult your cat-lady goddess.
(Dementa 1/27/09)
I just hope Sandra is gay and this whole marriage thing was a sad career move for the two of them. I really believe she would know if he had been hooking up, if they had actually been a real couple. I'm married and my radar is strong. I can't believe that she was that oblivious.
Will men FINALLY learn after this one or will there be another Jesse James and Tiger Woods????? Husbands.... appreciate what you have
^^I think the bigger lesson here is 'Wives look more carefully into wwhat your husband gets up to in his off hours'!!!!
@ sushi
yeah there were rumors when they got married that her Father paid him to marry her for that hollywood fairytale story that would push her career
Yeah she was on a big show but television doesn't as much movies do
how many actors are on top hit tv shows that you see in movies?
He was a nobody and so was she...their marriage is what madr both of them famous
now for Sandra and Jesse... I think he just wanted to help her out carry on that image... Who was Sandra dating before ? I don't know about her love life nor do I say she looks like a lesbian but she gives me that Michelle Rodriguez vibe
<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>
Ball friendly
Submitted by guilty of being... on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 1:10pm.
She looks like Aileen Wuornos...the serial killer.
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Yes, man from the neck up, for sure!
If I were SB, I'd be running, not walking for all HIV, Hepatitis, STD tests available.
Scary.
gawd, these skanks are like roaches...where there's one skank, there will be more...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
I feel really sorry for any woman who has to undergo this kind of humiliation. And in Sandra Bullock's case, 100 times so, because of the public, tabloid magazine factor. They seemed like an interesting couple who had found real love. I guess it was all on her side. What an absolute despicable tool. He deserves every bad thing that comes his way. I hope all his sponsors cancel from his show, and that he goes into bankruptcy. I do feel awful for his children. Too bad their a-hole dad couldn't keep it in his pants. Sad, sad sad.
What was the purpose of the whole hoax-marriage to Sandra Bullock if Jesse James obviously only was sexually attracted to gutter-skank-hos? I find it hard to find any real pity for Sandra, becouse Jesse has douchebag written all over his forehead. She must have seen this coming!? Why o why did she MARRY this a**hole?
I'm scared to see how busted the next skank to emerge will look like. A concerning trend indeed.
Unfortunately this doesnt surprise me. I was married to this "type". They work the same game on all women with each one thinking she's special. I have no doubt that "Vanilla Gorilla" was a special pet name btw Sandra & him. (There's a prior Halloween pic of them where he's dressed up as a white/'Vanilla' gorilla & she's like a monkey or something.)
I remember Sandra saying right after she married JJ that she couldn't stand the thought of being out of his life & not being on his "list of people to call if he were injured". She mistook feeling pity for feeling love. I know it sounds weird, but there is a type of guy who seems to need rescuing, & it's easy for a nuturing woman to mistake this for love.
What I learned was to look for someone who was already what I was looking for, not someone who has "potential." And as painful as that divorce was, it propelled me into discovering my new husband who is a complete 180 from the old one. And we are 9 yrs happily married. And instead of growing more disappointed by the year, I am deeper in love than when we married.
Submitted by Flatbush Hooker... on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 12:19pm.
Wasn't Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt marriage a fraud? Wasn't there some rumor that her rich greek daddy paid him off to marry her and jump start that career???
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omg!!1! how could u even like axe? They were like the real thing until ho came along and said, "I'll give u sum babehs!"
Wasn't Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt marriage a fraud? Wasn't there some rumor that her rich greek daddy paid him off to marry her and jump start that career???
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????
She was on the hottest show and already had huge money and fame before he arrived on the scene.
If anything, Pitt glued himself to famous women to get ahead. Juliette Lewis anyone?
On Sandra, are we sure she isn't gayelle? She gives off that vibe to me.
She looks like Aileen Wuornos...the serial killer.
"Fuck me running..."
poor Sandra. it must feel absolutely revolting to know that your husband's penis has been in these bitches. these women aren't even good looking. this last broad looks like a guy.
Umm, this is getting weird. If he's been fucking on all these skanks for years, and supposedly fucking on Sandra too, wouldn't she have gotten some kind of "hint" in the form of a big red PUSSAY RASH?! Or maybe some warts and some jungle ooze?
Something's iffy with this story. It would make sense if their marriage was some kind of arrangement, and she realized she wanted out now that she's made a serious turn in her career. But what would Jesse get out of this?
*scratches head*
What a bunch of assholes.
**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14
I knew Jesse loved rough looking "women" but dayum..this trick is hideous...makes Boobshit look like a beauty queen...Sandy, you DEFINATELY need to take yourself to the clinic stat...take this fucktard to the cleaners...and get on with your career...who needs a man...you are so much better than any of these idiots anyhow...same goes for Elin...I know about settling...trust me I have too, and regret it every single time. I see pics of Sandra though, and she really and genuinely seemed to love this asshole. I mean gazed at him with utter adoration....the entire time he was cheating..him and Tiger, John Edwards and that Govenor Stanton need a Lorena Bobbit treatment stat! I can only imagine the diseases Jesse and Tiger have...yikes!!!
i hope it all gets aired out nicely so Bullock doesn't have any hesitation divorcing his ass. the more women come out - the less 'boo hoo but i love him' and more 'oh my god what was i married to EXIT STAGE LEFT ?!?!'.