Just A Regular Night In The Life Of Peaches Geldof
What better way to start your weekend than with a touching love story starring the rotten fruit of the UK's eye Peaches Geldof!
Over on Reddit (via Why We Protest), someone asked the question "What's your most WTF one night stand?" User Thatcoolguyben pretty much shut everyone's story down with his tale of the night he allegedly spent with (and in) Peaches Geldof! And he has proof in the form of a few pictures.
It's a long, winding, dirty journey through the sewer pipes which eventually ends in a puddle of vomit on the floor of a sauna in the Scientology Center. Glib.
If you don't have the time or the stomach for it right now, let me give you the 10-second version. Dude claims he met Peaches Geldof at a friend's apartment, did lemon-infused heroin with her, popped a Cialis to get his peen popping, did sex with her, passed out and woke up barfing all of his Thetans out in a sauna at the Scientology Center. The end. This was probably one of Peaches' tamer nights.
The complete story from the dude's fingertips is after the jump. There's also a couple of NSFW pictures of Peaches looking like the star of one of Vanilla Gorilla's wet dreams. JUMP!
Last Thanksgiving I was staying at a friends house for a few days before a trip to South America. I'd been spending most the time on the couch for the three days I was at the house. My friend lived with her boyfriend and one other girl who was "recording" her "album." I would occasionally see this girl leaving early in the morning and coming back late at night while I was on the couch. On my final day at the house, Thanksgiving day, the girl returns at about 2:30am (Thanksgiving festivities would start in a few hours.) I'd kicked back a few beers already and was having fun sitting watching TV. She comes in and pauses for a moment looking at me. She says "have you been living here the whole time I have?" I laughed and thought this question strange, she was showing how oblivious she was to the world. I said that I had only been at the house for 2 days. She sits next to me and we begin talking about tattoos, which both of us have a good amount of. She had a cute English accent and wasn't bad looking at all. The tattoo discussion leads to us deciding we should get each others names tattooed on each other. At 3am I grab my friends car keys, and head out. We drive all over Hollywood looking for a tattoo parlor, with no luck. While driving around we get on the topic of drugs. At this point in my life I was very into all drugs, as was she. She told me she had a bit of heroin she brought with her from the UK and asked me if I was game. I was so the hunt began.
We drove all around LA looking for the supplies we needed. We drove to various pharmacies looking for needles and cotton. We finally found one, which as a look back on would be a funny sight. A well dressed guy and girl walk in an 4am looking for a 10 pack of diabetic syringes. We get them and begin the drive home. On the way back she mentions this is heroin base, meaning we need to dissolve this in lemon (I guess this is a British thing, I never have seen this in my years in NYC.) We stop at a Dennys, asking them for a stack of lemons. Once again we got strange looks but it worked. We get back to the house, where I was promptly yelled at for stealing my friends car, and getting warned what I was about to get myself into. Once all the commotion settles down, we go to the girls room and rig up. At about 5am I was high as a kite and we start to watch a movie. Things get hot and heavy and before I know it we're naked. I go down on her while we're still having odd conversations about mutual friends and past hookups. I was too high to get hard and she knew it. After blowing me for a few minutes she asks if I was ok. I tell her I'm to high to get it up. I then immediately remember I'd packed a Cialis in my bag. I run out of the room, bring it back, and pop it in front of her. She laughs as we continue to have a naked dance party on her bed. I finally feel the blood rush to my member and the action begins. We did it every way possible, and for a young girl she sure knew how to work it.
This is where things get weird. Close to 8am she starts saying how someone was coming to pick her up. We'd continued to use all night so I was quite foggy about the happenings. I faintly remember her asking me for a ride and me driving her somewhere. I awoke at about 1pm in a sauna, throwing up all over the place. I started freaking out. I look around and see her on an exercise machine outside the room, looking in about the same shape as me. I get out of the room and people come past me cleaning the puke like it was nothing to them. I'm standing in the room groggy, in a speedo, and confused as hell. I look around and read some stuff realizing I'm in the Celebrity Scientology Center in LA. This girl ended up being a hardcore Scientologist and a D-List celebrity, and we were doing a process called Purif. I showered, got my clothes on, got her, and drove back to my friends, nodding out and puking the whole way.
Needless to say when I got back my friend and her boyfriend were pissed. I had "ruined" Thanksgiving. I sluggishly passed the day along and at 11pm went to LAX and flew to South America. Not until days later when I looked through my camera of the pictures of that night did I fully realize everything.
The moral of the story is: Don't take your heroin with lemons. Use limes instead. And whatever you do, don't ever EVER have a one-night fuck with Peaches Geldof unless you want to wake up in Tommy Girl's dungeon. Now for the pictures!
(Thanks Kyle)
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What's with the small tits comments? ... then you cut up people with fake ones. Fucking shut the fuck up with that shit. Assholes. They don't look bad at all.
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Those tattoos look like a kid drew on her with a crayon
www.theinfamouslife.com
What a beauty queen... NOT. The guy is a jerk for posting the pics.
It's dumb of her to sleep around but homeboy is a piece of shit for making these pics public.
it's sad that she's that chunky and still without tits.
And you're right Dannii, she does remind me of CaCa there!
This was so good, haha!
Hate her and shitty attitude and her shabby excuse for "writing" in Nylon and wherever else. The Scientology stuff is funny also since what's the point of being such a hard-core partier and doing a "purification"? Such a nightmare.
Personally I feel sorry for her. She has Little Girl Lost written all over her... probably even says that in one of her tattoos. :(
Considering who her mother was, this girl was probably born addicted to heroin.
I get angry every time celebrities have children. They're all going to end up like this. Vapid, stupid, and utterly worthless.
Submitted by LawDog on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 5:34pm.
Even Peaches Geldof does not deserve to be rode and told...whatever happened to chilvary?
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I guess Ms. Geldof doesn't go for chivalrous type. And is enjoying the fact that idiots like myself take time to comment on her self promoting useless life. Believe me, she loves it. >Passes a hanky<
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Auri sacra fames
I love how it's about a one night stand and the actual fucking part is a single sentence lost among four huge paragraphs. Fuck junkies.
Least attractive daughter? Just stop it, you sound stupid when you say things like that. The other girls are completely fug and Peaches at least CAN be attractive when she wants to.
I mean, even if it is a one nighter, you certainly don't expect your shit to end up on the internet. I know she is no prize, but still..what kind of guy does that? He probably doesn't put the seat down after he pees either.
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"There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub."
-- Comedian, Louis C.K.
Even Peaches Geldof does not deserve to be rode and told...whatever happened to chilvary?
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"There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub."
-- Comedian, Louis C.K.
Yeah I don't think he was too high to get it up. I think he just usually cannot get it up!
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... Well I'd like to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch! - Stewie.
Guess you haven't seen all of Paula Yates daughters in awhile. Peaches isn't the least attractive.
She seems flat chested for someone with a little chunk. If she were thin, I guess she would have no breasts at all.
Sad she couldn't amount to anything more than this as a human.
It takes a confident guy to admit he shagged the least attractive of Paula Yates' daughters.
heroin does not make you skinny. an addict may lose weight by deciding heroin is more important than food or deciding that they don't want to kill their high by eating something. if anything, I think heroin would keep you rather plump as it makes you (made me back in the day) crave carbs, especially sweets and chocolate. I don't think Peaches is ugly, but she's surely not any great beauty.
This story is great. I never heard of reddit, but I am stuck on this thread, the stories are epic!
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/bhg3r/whats_your_most_wtf_one...
And I hate myself for saying this but (aside from being a bit flatchested) she has a lovely curvy- but-slim body.
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Dark-sided!
i thought heroin made you skinny? weird...cos she's definitely not what i think of as "heroin chic" thin.
I don't believe that is a fentanyl patch but it could be. it looks like a bandage covering a few cuts...possibly from self mutilation from when she's in heroin withdrawal and needs to take the edge/sickness off temporarily.
I was a junior bridesmaid at a wedding in the late 80s with Bob Geldof's dad in attendance (also called Bob Geldof, I believe).
Anyway, I was 16 and clueless - had barely kissed a boy and that peepaw couldn't keep his hands off me, even trying to get me to sit on his knee.
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Dark-sided!
Its kind of scary seeing bob's overbite and half-closed drug eyes on a young girl. Ok, went to the jump, and what I saw, wish I could unsee.
She is a nasty little stupid slut & user but I dont think she is "ugly", her body is kind of cute too.
Submitted by PeachPie on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 2:30pm.
Well, as much as I'd really rather hang out with everybody here, I've got family coming for dinner.
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Well you may always show them these pictures and it will be a quick and easy affair ;)
Just joking, enjoy your evening.
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Auri sacra fames
Well, as much as I'd really rather hang out with everybody here, I've got family coming for dinner.
Catch up with everybody later.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 2:22pm.
LOL peach pie - I would been mother fucking errrbody too... ahahahahahaa
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Lol... yeah, I rarely loose it, but when I do, I've got a mouth that would make a sailor blush. Bad, bad habit. (I wish I didn't enjoy it so fucking much)
: )
Submitted by get serious on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 1:11pm.
I'm sure her father Bob Geldof is so proud of his leg spread slutty daughter; her acting like a day shift hooker reflects so positively back on him.
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Get serious: I' sure he IS proud because he's a big slob himself. A couple of weeks ago in Germany he turned up at a black tie charity thing looking like an unwashed piece of shit in some bum's hand-me-downs. This whole Geldof tribe just sucks.
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Auri sacra fames
LOL peach pie - I would been mother fucking errrbody too... ahahahahahaa
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Submitted by Jana on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 11:43am.
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I'm assuming you're the same Jana who got trounced on yesterday on the Vanilla Gorilla post?
I got on the thread after all the ruckus but read all the comments. I personally have never seen anyone (other than a Brangeloonie) get pounced on so hard.
I'm also very against taking up with people who are taken. But I'm going to give you props. You took a pretty harsh lashing, but ultimately took it in stride and responded very adult.
Me? I would have lost it and started muther fcking everyone, lol.
Boah, this slapper manages to stink from my computer screen. OD already and make this world a nicer place.
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Auri sacra fames
in Britain, the heroin sometimes needs to have the pH level adjusted so you can shoot it. what they will do is use vinegar or lemon juice to make it shootable. it's not a good idea to use lemon juice though because the citric acid destroys your veins a lot faster. smoking heroin is the only way to go. you burn half your stash but it's more unlikely that you will kill over, if you know what you're doing. Peaches is a virus that does not need to travel abroad. kill it with fire!
"What's your most WTF one night stand?"
Who in their flippity flap fucking mind would want to confess THAT kind moment to human ears? I'd have to be drunk or high to repeat my salacious stories....and drunk/high being what got me there in the first place.
Eli Roth...is this the chick you are humping at the moment? Really? Damn.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Am i the only one who thinks peaches looks like lady gaga in that first/banner pic?
Glitter Kitty you are right about her mom, she hit up NYC and fucked a Punk rocker friend of mine, then got a tat of his punk name, HELL. He wasnt her boyfriend, (she was one of many, many) so it was so pathetic to us all.
This is what Eli Roth is hitting? She has sores on her body, not to mention buck teeth, she cant even close her mouth. So fucking ugly, eww. He likes them young but this is disgusting, a walking used condom.
Her mum was a sad crack junkie (worked on one of her shows what a fucking nightmare she was, yeah yeah she is dead but ask ANYONE that knew Paula Yates) and her skank daughter is no better. On the useless scale she is about -5. Well done Sir Bob. Moonfaced waste of space
@ hannahsatana: Ha! That's awesome.
I don't know how these people do all these drugs and still live. I drink one too many cups of coffee and can't leave the house. They probably do have some kind of genetic disposition and slowly their tolerance goes up from using. Alcohol, on the other hand, I can throw down like an old sea captain. In the blood.
Lemon-infused heroin? Why? For that spring fresh high? If I did heroin, I'd want chocolate flavor. Yummy.
Submitted by not shocked on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 1:12pm.
Sir Bob always releases to the media the most stupid 'dog ate my homework' stories to explain everytime one of his precious petals collapses and od's or is sent to a hospital in an ambulance from some random hotel room. "Peaches was sent to hospital because she was tinting her hair in a small hotel bathroom with poor ventilation", "Fifi Trixabelle failed to have a proper meal in the morning and collapsed in the lobby of her Shoreditch hotel". Fucking spoiled smackhead skanks!
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That's pretty hilarious, in fact.
♥ Threadkilla!
"...and he says "Go forth and multiply", which is really just a polite way of saying "Fuck off"..."~ Andy Parsons
Ah, the teaches of Peaches.
Tiger vs Vanilla Gorilla!
http://hannahsatana.blogspot.com/
So Peaches is genetically predisposed to be a ho?
I wonder how many hos can claim that?
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Her mum died of an overdose, not suicide, and her youngest sister's father died through autoerotic asphyxiation, you'd think she'd get a clue but alas, non.
Her sisters either side of her of her aren't much better but it's not a London thing, just a spoilt Geldof thing.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Comparing Peaches to a day shift hooker is a disgrace to hos that actually work.
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What a waste of sperm.
Sir Bob always releases to the media the most stupid 'dog ate my homework' stories to explain everytime one of his precious petals collapses and od's or is sent to a hospital in an ambulance from some random hotel room. "Peaches was sent to hospital because she was tinting her hair in a small hotel bathroom with poor ventilation", "Fifi Trixabelle failed to have a proper meal in the morning and collapsed in the lobby of her Shoreditch hotel". Fucking spoiled smackhead skanks!
I'm sure her father Bob Geldof is so proud of his leg spread slutty daughter; her acting like a day shift hooker reflects so positively back on him.
Perfect example of what fame & fortune to the parent, combined with a lack of upbringing for the kid, will do to a child. Fucking on anyone, taking drugs, really stupid tattoos, terrible decision making, etc. She'll be joining whorehan & tila "vietcong hooker" tequila in the morgue soon enough...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
i choose not to look...i just can't...
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