Uma Thurman Launches A Bomb At The UK
Uma Thurman's movie Motherhood made around $130 in its opening weekend in the UK. On Sunday, only one poor bitch handed of their hard-earned cash for one ticket for the movie. To put this in perspective, more people would show up for Vanilla Gorilla's "World's Great Husband" parade in Sandra Bullock's hometown.
HuffPo says that the movie made around $80,000 in the US before going straight to the bottom of the clearance bin at discount stores. And what's even more shocking is that JLo was not involved in the making of this shit show!
When one of Motherhood's producers was told about the movie's major fail in the UK, she said, "You're kidding? Are we sure JLo didn't have a small cameo in this?" No, she really said, "You're kidding? We must have broken a new record for grosses."
On a positive note, Uma can pat herself on the taint, because I'm sure her bomb of a movie helped a handful of people get laid. If you can't afford a motel, and the back alleys are all busy, simply take your fuck partner to see a flop at a movie theater. Show me an empty movie theater, and I'll show you a couple doing ass sex in it.
Here's the movie's trailer. Yeah, it looks awful.
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Wow, yeah that looks HORRIBLY UNWATCHABLE!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
"Where the anti-social come to socialize with other anti-socials." redvelvetcake
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
I have to say, she doesn't look bad as a strawberry blonde.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
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Uma has a rich boyfriend, a drug problem and hasn't done a good movie since she bared her once-lovely mammaries in Dangerous Liaisons. Stick a fork in her; she's done!
Everyone overlooked the real reason this movie bombed: Minnie Driver!!! She's just the worst--I cannot stand to see anything she's in, I don't care if it's the second coming of "Mommie Dearest" and "Polyester" all wrapped into one, musical score by Elton John and Tanya Tucker...I just can't with her.
It doesn't look like an award winning film, duh. But does that really matter these days? A lot of stupid films make millions at the box office. It just depends on whether or not the production company chooses to invest a lot of advertising dollars into promoting the movie. Clearly they didn't bother because I've never seen the trailer for Motherhood until now. I wouldn't spend money to watch this but then again I wasn't willing to spend money to see Valentine's Day either and that made a killing at the box office because of hype, advertising, and big stars. I'd be willing to spend a few dollars to rent Motherhood or borrow it for free from the local library. And Uma Thurman has never been pretty in the face. She's tall and skinny which is the only prerequisite these days to become a famous model or actress. But her face has always been fug.
It's her eyebrows. They're not thin, sharp and black enough!
Where are her eyelashes?
Gequirlte Mausekacke, to use the correct German term....
Every weekend my kids and I have a movie night; their choice of movie so you can imagine all the sucky PG or PG-13 comedies I've seen. Horrible, put a gun-to-my-head AWFUL painful movies....so why is this one any different? It looks no worse than these other high-grossing movies. For example, 'Land of the Lost' of was beyond ridiculous and it wasn't nearly the flop this one was. Not even close.
Save this one for Lifetime channel...there are NO best parts in the trailer.
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Submitted by driveshaft on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 9:23pm.
The trailer really does seem atrocious, omg neurotic nyc white mom complains for two hours and people will be lining out the door, at some point movies like this have to be regulated to only being on television.
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It really does seem like a "Lifetime" movie. Who wants to pay to see that? Turn on the Lifetime channel and you can watch it all day long.
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"Number 12 Looks Just Like You"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaVo2xifmSw
Has this chick ever been hot?
I remember 10-15 years ago she was supposedly the bee's knees, but to me she's always looked like a praying mantis.
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"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
Its still too much to wrap the mind around a movie making 130 bucks, it's like a shit night in tips. Oh, thats right, the English dont even tip so it wasnt even like take-home cash. What was she thinking?
The trailer really does seem atrocious, omg neurotic nyc white mom complains for two hours and people will be lining out the door, at some point movies like this have to be regulated to only being on television.
I saw this movie for sale in Target a couple of weeks ago and thought, "An Uma Thurman movie? Really? Never heard of it..." Now, I know why.
I really like Uma, but I haven't seen her in any decent films lately. But I don't think we have to worry about her...isn't she dating some really rich guy?
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 3:31pm.
Anyone remember My Dinner With Andre? I couldn't believe I'd enjoy a movie just with people talking! But I did. I think.
I guess it's in the writing, intriguing characters.
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Oh Hysteria: OMG YES! I remember that movie "Dinner with Andre" .... wasn't it like over 20 years ago? It was so fascinating.
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Poor Uma, what a shit movie ... I can't imagine anyone wanting to see it .... Why would someone with her talent (and she has been good in some movies) take such a shitty role in such a forgettable film? Is she broke? And why do American movies and TV programs (am I showing my cultural bias here?) always have OK looking women with men who are nowhere near their level of attractiveness. I never see this in real life. Anthony Edwards doesn't warm the cockles of my heart!
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"I'm sorry you feel that way"
(May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the armpits of people who pretend to apologize by using this phrase)
The trailer has given me a panic attack, and waves of self shame because I knew I shouldn't look at it. Please give some really big warning when posting this trailer.
"...doing ass sex.." FTW.
:D
Submitted by mslewis on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 4:49pm.
I understand that it's difficult to be a stay-at-home mom but, really, Uma could comb her hair and put on a pair of sweatpants rather than go out in her nightgown!!!
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This looks like a job for PajamaJeans™!
I give every movie I watch the benefit of the doubt. I didn't even finish watching this movie (Motherhood). It really was very pretentious and awful. Like really.
I like Natalie Portman, but I think Uma would have been a better choice for her role in Brothers.
That movie looks shitty, but not shittier than half of the other romantic comedies that have made bank this year.
I think most of the problem here is advertising. I'd never once heard of this movie. I saw 800 adverts for Valentine's Day which makes this film look like Gone With The Wind, and that boiled piece of shit did okay I think.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 5:00pm.
Happy Saturday Hysteria!
I don't know, I think he may be pretty close to the truth. I mean, are any of us rushing out to see it? I might, if someone would buy me a ticket to London, and pay for a suite at The Brown's hotel. I met a Scone there once and he was dreamy! I would love to go back.
well, i prob should not talk about it here so as not to clog the thread
I'll take the email off in a few. Weirds me out to post it on a site that I read everyday. Yes, I'd say I'm a bit paranoid!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 4:54pm.
Is that even possible to only have a $130 opening? I think I could video my dogs and their antics and get a better audience,
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Hey there, Cupcake!
I was thinkin the same exact thing! That would only mean like 10 people saw it. Why would they even count that?
Me thinks MK may have fudged (not in THAT way!) the numbers a tad bit.
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This is like one long episode of Oprah. Find your passion...raising kids is the hardest job...rediscover yourselves...boring.
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"...correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think Jesus ever said, "in other words FUCK YOU." If I remember correctly what he really said was, "in other words FUCK YE, BITCHES." Git it right, Boobshit" MK
How do you start freelancing? Anyone?
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"...correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think Jesus ever said, "in other words FUCK YOU." If I remember correctly what he really said was, "in other words FUCK YE, BITCHES." Git it right, Boobshit" MK
Want some freelance work?
Call the Vanilla Gorilla, sleep with him, sell your story to the media, and then hire Gloria Allred.
(I just wanted to type Vanilla Gorilla.)
Also, off topic, what does Gloria Allred do? I don't get it. So, you sleep with a married man and sue because he didn't leave his wife for you? Or you threaten to tell all about the relationship unless he forks up some bucks? And if he doesn't, you hire Allred? And isn't that extortion?
Hey Angel!
Haha - me tooo!
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Is that even possible to only have a $130 opening? I think I could video my dogs and their antics and get a better audience, and maybe an offer for a sequel!
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 4:44pm.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 4:35pm.
I'd like some freelance work. :-D
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You talking about writing or beatin meat?
;)
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I'll take either!
♥ Threadkilla!
"...and he says "Go forth and multiply", which is really just a polite way of saying "Fuck off"..."~ Andy Parsons
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 4:42pm.
I love Uma and think she's talented but she doesn't get good scripts.
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She could easily take any movie they try to give to Angie.
♥ Threadkilla!
"...and he says "Go forth and multiply", which is really just a polite way of saying "Fuck off"..."~ Andy Parsons
I understand that it's difficult to be a stay-at-home mom but, really, Uma could comb her hair and put on a pair of sweatpants rather than go out in her nightgown!!! The movie just looks so DISMAL and her character is so whiney!! This adds up to total boredom.
Anyway, the trailer looks like crap so I won't see the movie but I do wonder why a movie with Uma Thurman only earned $80K in the U.S. and less than $200 in the UK. Surely Uma has some leftover fans from the "Kill Bill" movies who would want to see a movie just because she's in it.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 4:35pm.
I'd like some freelance work. :-D
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You talking about writing or beatin meat?
;)
I love Uma and think she's talented but she doesn't get good scripts. She's too "old" for the girlfriend role, and too amazonian to get the serious roles. And you know there ain't many movies for older gals anyway. They're all going to Aniston, at least the dumb romantic comedies.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 3:59pm.
Submitted by Icy on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 3:52pm.
Because staying at home and raising two children is sooo difficult!
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Okay. My friend Scott that I've known since elementary school, he said the same thing. Said he wanted to leave his corporate job and raise his 3 and 5 year old. It's been about two months, he fucking over it and wants to go back to work. Good kids too.
Yeah, it's easy. whatever.
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And there you go.
People don't really understand how selfish they get to be on the daily til they have to spend 24/7 being selfless.
♥ Threadkilla!
"...and he says "Go forth and multiply", which is really just a polite way of saying "Fuck off"..."~ Andy Parsons
But, as a mother, I thought it was very sweet.
♥ Threadkilla!
"...and he says "Go forth and multiply", which is really just a polite way of saying "Fuck off"..."~ Andy Parsons
Submitted by IrishFury on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 4:32pm.
IrishFury-how do you find these opportunities? I am a woman "forced" to stay home with my 4 children right now. 2 teenagers, 2 in college. I would be interested in any information you could give me.
I saw this movie. It sucks ass.
SoR-RaY!
♥ Threadkilla!
"...and he says "Go forth and multiply", which is really just a polite way of saying "Fuck off"..."~ Andy Parsons
I'd like some freelance work. :-D
true - I also have a monthly newspaper column and I swear, I have to keep remembering not to piss off the demographic. One month, my column was completely removed due to the fact that it may have upset conservative advertisers. I hate that shit.
Anyway, you may know all the ropes already but if you need pointers for freelance writing, I'd be happy to help. The pay is shit but the work is plentiful!
oh wait, you said you WERE a writer and just THINKING about whoring. I can't help you out there but maybe the failed manwhore Markus can - or Y Not.
:)
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Dark-sided!
So I've had it in my video store for 3 months but it's just in theaters in the U.K? That really sucks for them. It was a crappy movie. I didn't even see it hit theaters in Canada, I thought it went straight to video.
See you on the dark side of the moon.
Submitted by IrishFury on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 4:19pm.
Oh, no worries about telling people to fuck off around here! That's just everyday speak!
I do some writing too and digital photo stuff. What I'm really thinking I should do is a little HOOKING on the side! I'd like the physical activity. Haha!
Oh wait, we writers ARE prostituting ourselves already.
;D
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How's this piece of shit any different from all the other pieces of shit that Hollywood puts out these days?
I have been a stay at home mom to two boys for 4 years now and I am so over it. After the summer I am looking for a part time job. I have got to get out of this house. I am actually missing having a jerk boss and annoying coworkers.
Looks dull.
Hysteria, I do make mistakes. Copy editors think I'm stupid and they don't care that I'm battling the "elements" - and why should they.
But on Saturdays I'm working by 7am and other times I work and place artwork and puzzles at the kitchen table (they love it and I can interact too) or let them play outside where I can still keep an eye out. I can also work at night. I do have a schedule for one job I have but I picked hours to suit.
I'd love a mother's helper but freelancers get paid like shit and I'd have to fork over all the money I make.
But we make it work!
And I didn't really mean the 'fuck off' thing (much), I just can't stand those off the cuff commentaries of a life someone else knows nothing about.
What do you to, to work at home?
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Dark-sided!