This Is Why I Hate April Fool's Day
Satan's soul-killing cackle can be heard all over NYC this morning after his evil minions tortured the city by handing out fake fliers for a fake In-N-Out that is never going to open in Manhattan. Way to fuck with my emotions animal-style. FUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!11!!!!!!
Gothamist reports that a bunch of assholian cuntoids put up signs at several empty storefronts announcing that Manhattan is about to get a piece of heaven this Summer. They even dressed up as In-N-Out employees and everything. Whores of propaganda!
A rep for In-N-Out confirms this is all just an April Fool's prank, and they have no plans to open in NYC anytime soon. The rep went on to explain, "We're a small, family-owned business out here on the West Coast. We grind all our own all beef patties and deliver them to our locations every day, so because of the logistics it's just not something we're considering."
If leaving my house before 8pm didn't make me break out into hives, I would run down there and issue a CITIZEN'S ARREST! This act of torturous fuckery has to be illegal in all states.
And stop laughing at me while holding a Double Double in your greedy claw! How would you like it if someone dangled a 9-inch dick in your face and then yanked it away?! Actually, it would probably turn you on. You sucio ass!
(Thanks, Emily. Yeah, THANKS for nothing!)
• 
::shoots bo_tatoe::
obviously you've never tasted the greatness of in n out.... LEMONUP!!
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"that's the first time i had dick in my mouth, and that's the last time i'm going to choke on it.." Dani
I don't get peoples fascination about junkfood. Emphasis on: junk. It's processed, synthetic flavored, fried cow snot.
Feed on it long enough you will start to look like cow snot yourself. If you think i'm being crass just think of the average american regular fastfood customer: still dare to differ?
Your office is a laptop...MK.NY blows anyway.Live in Cali or Vegas & be gastronomically balanced again.
Muwhahahahahahahahahahah!
What a delicious prank on MK!
My In n Out's five minutes away. Anytime you want me to FEDEX you some...
Submitted by LisaRose on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 2:30pm.
My fave burger which I can't get where I live is Bobs Big Boy. Haven't had one in 20+ years. :(
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I see that on the way to Vegas from LA. I haven't ever stopped there, though I did stop at Mad Greek's once. I like all these by-the-side-of-the-road places. One place I always wanted to try was this Indian restaurant off the 5, in the middle of nowhere -- I pass it every time I drive to the Bay area. It's just so random.
Submitted by the.sack.of.culture on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 6:46pm.
@ johnnysgirl
Wai . . . ?!?! Wha . . . ?!?!? There's an In'n'Out at Fisherman's Wharf, on Jefferson.
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WHAT!!???!! You are my angel! (I'm not originally from here obviously)
Welp, I know what I'm having for dinner tonight. MK, I promise not to enjoy it too much.
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rock your FACE
@ johnnysgirl
Wai . . . ?!?! Wha . . . ?!?!? There's an In'n'Out at Fisherman's Wharf, on Jefferson.
MK - come out to LA and I'll give you some in and out.
Ohhhhh, MK!! That is seriously heinous, I am so sorry. The fuck?? Ugh!!
I feel wretched for every time I have ever whined that there isn't an In-N-Out in SF proper and I gotta drive to Daly City. *self-flagellates*
MK, if there was a way I could somehow beam you over a case of double doubles I would do it in a heartbeat. No, a two years supply! That's about how long you have been providing me with belly laughs that make me almost piss myself and fall out of my chair.
Take heart, my friend <3
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rock your FACE
Poor MK.
That is not even funny. That's just outright mean. Mean in the way Kate Gosselin is to her kids.
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Reality is something you rise above - Liza Minelli
LMAO, love it when MK gets all bitchy!
Coma Caca!
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Assholian cuntoids just added to the daily vocab rotation.
I also passed by these signs on my way to work and literally fistpumped with a co-worker, who then reminded me what day it was. Insert sad face here.
madam ex yes, now it's the joke of the day
"hey , Snowy! Any leftover food in the conference room today?"
oh HA hA
LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
"Where the anti-social come to socialize with other anti-socials." redvelvetcake
And I know your pain. I live 45 min from the nearest In-n-Out...
Oh I love you, Michael! You need to put on your sexiest pink sundress and matching pink straw hat and march down there, right now! I think you'll have to go with the name "Code Stink", since Cindy Sheehan is a crazy and won't you like upstaging her (don't fuck with bitches from Vacaville).
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 1:43pm.
Submitted by No Words on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 1:17pm.
Culver's, people! The Butterburger, anyone?
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OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!
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Me, too, Uvie! I crave them!
My fave burger which I can't get where I live is Bobs Big Boy. Haven't had one in 20+ years. :(
Aww... I wish I could share my In and Out Burger with MK. Not fair when you love something and it's so far away. :(
PeachPie:
I've never had peach pie, either!
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 1:54pm.
I've never had an In & Out Burger.
Am I alone here?
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No darlin', you're not alone. I'm a virgin, too.
Totally had In 'n Out for dinner last night and I'm still in a dreamy fried meat & potato coma.
I plan to use 'assholian cuntoids' in a sentence today. Thanks MK!
I have had them during my visits to Arizona.....meh...nothing special to me...they taste good, but...I had better....to each is own...However, I do feel for MK, as I know it's sucks when you move, and your favorite place to eat is not there..
Poor Michael. If you have ever devoured an In-N-Out burger, then you know why he went ape shit. Oh dear, maybe some day.
I've never had an In & Out Burger.
Am I alone here?
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Submitted by No Words on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 1:17pm.
Culver's, people! The Butterburger, anyone?
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OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!
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I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. - boobxqueen on Octomom's Star cover
@Snowpiece, thats a funny story, they got you really good.
MK, DUDE, why don't you just come home?!? NYC is so over, and I KNOW you ain't living in Brooklyn. Come home! This is where all the real shit happens, anyway. You can drown in Double-Doubles!
i posted "got a JOB!!!!!!!!" as my facebook status today, clearly just an april fool's joke and my stupid friends were all supportive and congratulatory. boy did i feel like an ass :(
Never had it but everyone seems to think they are the best thing ever. I guess I'll never know until I trek over to LA.
That’s just cruel!! I live in the south and everyone tries to tell me Andy's Burgers and Five Guys Burgers are the same as In-n-out, ITS NOT THE SAME, IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!! The one by my house in Cali was right next to a 24 hour fitness, so I used to love going to the gym running my ass off and then pulling into In-n-Out and eating a Double Double, and their fries OMG Im drooling just thinking about it, It was the best way to eat that heavenly goodness guilt free, i definitely went to the gym a hell of alot more often than I do in this hell hole.
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Inside of every cynic is sunshine and rainbows just bursting to come out
Culver's, people! The Butterburger, anyone?
Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 1:15pm.
Yesss...Jack n the Box is great too.
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*peeks in thread thinking name was called*
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
Yesss...Jack n the Box is great too. I love that their menu has everything...such variety!! Variety is the spice of life, ya know?
:)
Keep thinking of double double's....Mmmm....
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Something tells me that JustJared or one of the crazies from his site is behind this! Everyone knows how obsessed MK is with In n Out.
I get their "veggie" burger (aka "wish" burger), it doesn't have a veggie patty, it's just the burger toppings minus the meat. I think they are more popular because the food is fresh and still really cheap (no 6$ burgers here) and the secret menu is cool...otherwise, no big deal.
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"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1803397
@Sunshine Gang
I got hooked on Wagamama too when I studied abroad. I know there is one in Harvard Square and another one in the Boston area.... not sure about NY though. I think eventually they'll keep expanding in the US.
Submitted by PeachPie on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 12:29pm
lol You know how many times I've said that phrase and people just look at me blankly like I was speaking Greek? Finally, somebody who knows it!
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In this day and age with all the people obsessed with television and film I would think a lot more people would be hip to famous quotes.
BTW...In-Out is good but New York has a lot better food and more of a variety...And I'm a native Californian saying that.
http://www.wagamama.us/
:)
Submitted by gines on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 12:31pm.
should i get jack in the box too or is that a no go
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JACK IN THE BOX!!! Yum!
Good thing we don't have them where I live now. I'd definitely be a fatty.
Wow. That sucks. Any chance they're bringing Wagamama's over from London though? I heard they were back in the 90's? Pretty please? :)
@better off dead
i am pretty amped up. should i get jack in the box too or is that a no go
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you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
Submitted by Eddie Van Hilton on Thu, 04/01/2010 - 12:26pm.
"We're in the pipe - 5x5..."
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lol You know how many times I've said that phrase and people just look at me blankly like I was speaking Greek? Finally, somebody who knows it!
@gines - It's pretty fucking major.
I don't think it takes a degree in astrophysics to figure out how to get someone's unwanted finger out of your ass. - RasKimmie
Yeah, that's pretty messed-up MK. Later on I'll be in the vicinty of Beverly and Rampart and I'll stop in and have some goodness for you.
Yessirree, what should I order? How about if I start off with an order of french fries - animal style of course, and then how should I order my burger...A Double-Double just won't do for good ol' MK. How about a 3x3 or maybe even a 4x4. Nah! A 5x5 sounds just about right to me.
"We're in the pipe - 5x5..."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa.
I think I'll have some In-N-Out today just to spite MK. Muhahahahahahahahahaha!
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
If I decided to really go all out for a burger, this is where I'd want to go. Saw this on some food show.
Everything is cooked in lard!! (No wonder all the customers on the show looked like they weighed as much as a small cow).
http://www.heartattackgrill.com
i'm going to los angeles for the first time ever for my birthday this month. and one of the things on my list is to enjoy an in & out burger
am i in for a mouthal region of orgasmic heavenly delights
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you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
Seriously folks...their fries may not be the bestest...but if you get them animal style they are the YUMS. They put cheese and special sauce on them....it's so good!
yeah...i think I'm gonna have In N Out today for lunch. :p
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
What an odd prank.
I liked the one my mother in law (now very old) played on my father-in-law (rest in peace)
She waited till he was all relaxed after work then snuck and rang the doorbell and said "Sweetie the police are here"
Yeah I know it's dumb but I still find it funnier than this.
Also the year when my two kids came down for breakfast and I had put Purina Cat Chow in their cereal bowls.
Aww, MK. How can people be so damn cruel?
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"What he lacked in feet, he made up for in inches." --BK, on having sex with a midget