Kenny Chesney's Box Was Too Full
When Kenny Chesney and Squinty Zellweger quit each other after only 4-months of marriage, they cited "fraud" as the official reason for their annulment. Everybody figured "fraud" was just a legal word for "Renee has a vagina." For the first time since their split, Kenny spoke to Oprah (via Toronto Sun) about why their marriage didn't work out. It's because Kenny's box was way too full! Power bottoms and their problems!
Kenny, who is tangier than a rack of honey barbecued pork ribs, said, "I look at it as a box, my life as a box... so everything that I put in ... learning how to play guitar - put in that box, friends I made - I put in that box. My career grew and everything around me, all the awards and all the songs I wrote and all the success, everything, I put in that box. And that box grew to this wonderful house. You protect everything and all the relationships and all the people that helped you build that house... I protected that box and I didn't know if I could do both. She was a sweet soul, no doubt about it."
Kenny and his damn box. All he had to say was that Squinty didn't know how to make his box burst (aka bitch's strap-on skills are whack), which is why he shaved her off and sent her back to the barber shop. And speaking of hot boxes....
While I was looking for pictures of Squinty, I came across this piping hot piece who is speaking my language:
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I hope Oprah gave him a "I'm sorry, what the fuck? A box? What?"
Fuck Kenny Cheesy- he's been totally upstaged by Finger Dude! lol
Why even bother to make a comment with shit like that? Why didn't he go Forest Gump on the Big O and say, "well Oprah, life is like a box of chocolates and Renee just got a the wrong one. I am a caramel and she needs a nut cluster. She's a sweet girl though."
That last pic is so good, that dude is bringing the lolz.
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 6:12pm.
Yet another fantabulous celebutard excuse/assertion that I will add to my list of excuses...It'll go something like this...
Boss: Tigerlilly, why are you late?
Tigerlilly: My life is like a box...
Boss: Excuse me, what are you talking about?
Tigerlilly: My life is like a box and it's quite full right now, thank you very much...
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I'm laughing so hard right now. This guy is so stupid.
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I think the problem was that they *both* had boxes to be filled.
Submitted by charlie m on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:21am.
WHAT A SHITTY FUCKING ASS THING TO SAY. ARE YOU SO FUCKING FULL OF YOURSELF THAT YOU THINK OF YOUR LIFE AS COMPARTMENTALIZED FUCKING AREAS THAT ONLY THE SUPREMELY WORTHY ARE FUCKING PRIVILEGED ENOUGH TO FIT INTO YOUR STUPID SHIT BOX. AND YOUR WIFE ISNT ONE OF THEM. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. RENEE SHOULD BE HAPPY AS HELL SHE GOT AWAY FROM THIS SWAMP MAGGOT AS QUICK AS SHE DID.
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Exactly Charlie. Basically the guy said that his life was perfect the way it was and he didn't need to change it for her, basically there was no room for her in his life. I hated the pompous analogy too. I don't think he's gay but he does come across as being too full of himself.
Yet another fantabulous celebutard excuse/assertion that I will add to my list of excuses...It'll go something like this...
Boss: Tigerlilly, why are you late?
Tigerlilly: My life is like a box...
Boss: Excuse me, what are you talking about?
Tigerlilly: My life is like a box and it's quite full right now, thank you very much...
Boss: Am I understanding you correctly? I'm asking you why your late yet AGAIN and you say your life is like a box and it's full? That's your answer????
Tigerlilly: Yes, it's full...I am a businessness woman, google me you dumbfuck...These aren't even my pants and if you MUST know I've been researching a role... You can blame me all you want but you know the black kid did it...I mean, my god, I'm only 41 years old, I'm just having fun...That pap pushed me into a tree...and GAH! Just be adequite, would you?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
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The only box that was full was his ASS-Box full of dick.. what a pile of shit. and i thought that was Matthew whatshisface giving us the finger....
So why did this retard ask her to marry him if his "box" was so full? Pathetic publicity whore.
Don't understand how it got as far as it did? Kind of sad on both ends.
Kenny's box was full of squinty's 12' strap on...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Exceeding the sum of my parts since 5:30 this morning...
What a fucking douchebag. How dare a man kiss and tell when he's been such a heel?
Wimp. Homo. Fucking jerk.
Poor Renee.
Although I have issues with Renee for giving this asswipe the time of day in the first place.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
I always got icky asshole vibes from him. Course, the cowboy hat automatically gives that impression, especially from a short man.
.
.
Submitted by charlie m on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:21am.
WHAT A SHITTY FUCKING ASS THING TO SAY. ARE YOU SO FUCKING FULL OF YOURSELF THAT YOU THINK OF YOUR LIFE AS COMPARTMENTALIZED FUCKING AREAS THAT ONLY THE SUPREMELY WORTHY ARE FUCKING PRIVILEGED ENOUGH TO FIT INTO YOUR STUPID SHIT BOX. AND YOUR WIFE ISNT ONE OF THEM. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. RENEE SHOULD BE HAPPY AS HELL SHE GOT AWAY FROM THIS SWAMP MAGGOT AS QUICK AS SHE DID.
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Who the fuck are you yelling at? Kanye, is that you?
On post: I was kinda curious about why these 2 broke up, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna listen to any old bullshit Kenny shits out. That statement was a whole lotta nothin. Fuck a box.
And I think that jewel giving us the finger may have the whitest stomach I have ever seen. Ev-er.
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There's nothing like a little black pussay
who's the dude flipping the finger?!?! he looks hot...just hose him down and im sure he will be even more fuckable...
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Bowchickawawa on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:02am.
WTF is homo-boy talking about?? His box grew to a house and he had to protect his box? Protect it from what? Squinty? Was she trying to get in his box and he didn't think she was going to make that move once married to him? Was she supposed to live in a tent outside his box-house?
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You just made me pee a little...lmao!
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"This smacks of a big gay coverup!"
Oprah & Gayle & Tyler Perry
HaHa!!
Squinty doesn't wrestle, but you ought to see her box.
Box, box, box...
The REAL fraud here is where in the hell did Al Gore's Lock Box go?
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"This smacks of a big gay coverup!"
Oprah & Gayle & Tyler Perry
@ Sexy Pants, I liked Renee in White Oleander too.
I always liked Renee, she came from nothing and became a pretty good actress, besides all the goofing on her that we do, I still like her.
I must admit, I loved Renee in 'White Oleander'. So I cannot fully hate on her.
what a sexy hot mess tease!(flipping finger dude)
I know.
Made no sense at all.
As I read that, it reminded me of Laugh In
"The Box, by Henry Gibson......"
Uh, her gaydar is broken, and he is a major tool. What did that mean, other than "I am too goddam busy and important for a wife." Which isn't the reason they divorced. It was because, "She has a box."
What the hell did any of that mean..
Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:57am.
Squinty should have gave him the ghey test first, put on some straight porn and if he's too busy suckin' a dick to watch than he's ghey.
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flol, raul, you disturb me and I like it.
Renee needs to leave the gays alone!
*leaves box open for Dlisters to play wif*
**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14
ahahahaa this post is like a box
Coma Caca!
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i just totally made that picture my profile on fucking Facebook. mostly b/c i have a MacBook, the red iPod shuffle and similar sunnies.
wow, i keep dating gay ass men too.
uh. oh.
"Lock Box"
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You can fool some of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time. P.T. Barnum
Squinty is becoming the Liza Minneli for her generation-she cant find herself a hetrosexual man-witness him and Bradley Cooper.
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
LMFAO!!!! Now that right there is a hot piece!
~Your opinion of me is actually none of my business. So go ahead, think whatever you want, and thank you for letting me live rent-free in your head.~
"While I was looking for pictures of Squinty, I came across this piping hot piece who is speaking my language"
I love how MK can spot the hotness in the background of pix!
To err is human, but it feels divine. - Mae West
Squinty should have gave him the ghey test first, put on some straight porn and if he's too busy suckin' a dick to watch than he's ghey. *********************************************************************************************** Are you addressing me? Well lick it, stamp it and mail it to someone who gives a shit.
Question: why did she end up marrying a gay guy? Didn't they have sex before marriage? That would have uncovered the "fraud."
It's all very confusing to me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHt_GzOgjvA
I don't know anything about Kenny, but I do no Renee is butt fuck ugly!! He probably woke up on day and said, Shit! I gotta look at that face lookin over her fucking shoulder at me every fuckin day???? I'm outta here!!!
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Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/27/2010 - 5:42pm.
This site should be fun only. The petty shit fucks up my buzz.
You don't want that. Or maybe you do, you sucio fuck! MK
ProfessorVP
I think there are some women who, for some reason- whether nature or nurture- cannot attract and marry straight guys. Nicole Kidman,
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Please tell me you are referring only to her first husband. Keith Urban is totally hetero and hawt as hell!!
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I'm your huckleberry...
Submitted by borg queen on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:26am.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:55am.
Kenny is such a country-fried sister. The only pickin' and grinnin' he does well is when he has to get rid of the pubes between his teeth. Yee Haw!
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ROTLMFAO. OMG I spit out my coffee all over my desk. Maybe you can ghostwrite for MK.
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Both of y'all just made me bust up in here...
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"To be irreplaceable, you must be different" - Coco Chanel
Submitted by borg queen on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:26am.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:55am.
Kenny is such a country-fried sister. The only pickin' and grinnin' he does well is when he has to get rid of the pubes between his teeth. Yee Haw!
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ROTLMFAO. OMG I spit out my coffee all over my desk. Maybe you can ghostwrite for MK.
Yo BQ...that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day! *blushes*
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
islandgirl on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:34am.
Take This Box and Shove It.
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Funny!
Renee must not have learned about teh gheys cuz she is now hooked up with Cooper.
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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Take This Box and Shove It.
snowpiece says: YOU HAD ME AT BOX!
Angel says: You lost me at "box".
Haaahaaaahaaaaahaaaa! Funny.
If you don't want to talk about it, just say No Comment! I have never liked this dude, he just rubs me the wrong way. I think I have a thing against bald dudes. I put up with his stupid music because all my friends got into country in college. Blech!
"Picking a favorite blog is like picking a favorite crackhead. I don't know if I can do it" (MK, you're my fave crackhead)
Who the fuck prepared that statement for him? Rielle Hunter?
Submitted by zomay on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:23am.
'Sometimes a man's "box" needs more. That is why in this very hetero county music biz, I moved my "box" to the Caribbean.'
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LOL!
Rene's last words: Take your fucking box and get out!!!
♥ Threadkilla!
People are always wondering what the smoke monster is gonna be but I know already..........a huge letdown.~Anthony Jeselnek