The New Messiah Is On Its Way
Grab a gold goblet, jump on your camel and ride towards the holy land (which is temporarily in Venice, Italy) and gather at the steps of the Church of Brangelina, because Star Magazine (via Hollywood Life) says the newest Fetus Christ is currently simmering in St. Angie's womb of wonder. And they must be right, because look at that bump! Or maybe she ate a garbanzo bean for lunch instead of her usual, a sandwich made out of her children's tears.
A source on the set of The Tourist tells Star that Angie must be knocked up for the fourth time around, because she's drinking grape juice instead of red wine and has asked the costumers to help her hide the evidence. A different source says that Angie has already told Brad and the child army. I'm sure Maddox was so thrilled he could fart after finding out that he had to train yet another brat how to properly wear all-black.
If this is true (which you know it isn't), how does Billy Goat Brad find the time? When he isn't cowering in fear of Angie, he's off secretly meeting Jennifer Aniston. What am I saying? Angie doesn't need to fuck on Brad to get pregnant. All she has to do is send her leechy vagina out in the middle of the night to feed on Brad's huevos and collect what she needs.
I leave you with pictures of one of the twin messiahs, Knox, with Brad's mama je'e on THAT BALCONY in Venice yesterday.
Images via Cover Awards and Wenn.com
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I don't believe she is pregnant but I just have to say that not all women start to show in the 4th or 5th month especially after already having one or two children ..... Some women DO show as early as the 3rd month . That's a FACT.
She does need to stop posing with the kids on the balcony ! Enough already . It's so old at this point and it's only with the twins. Why didnt they rent a place with some solitude? A place where the kids could run around . Why she finds the need to hang out on a balcony the size of a closet is so fucking obvious ! Bunch of famewhores.
Wonderful.
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It looks like padding to give her some sort of shape and covered up to hide the tats, looks like wardrobe is already helping her. If this could possibly be true, I hope she eats with this one.
Stop posing with the kids on the fucking balcony for publicity already.
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
3 months and there is no bump...bump shows around 4-5. Wishful thinking, but who and why???? What would be accomplished if this broad had her own kid??
michael, u're so funnnny! keep us the "funny" work!
Submitted by mike on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 7:13pm.
And when did Angelina start working with Johnny Depp????
Seconded.
Oh for fucks sake, this betta NOT be true. Bitch won't stop until she births the antichrist. She's trying to destroy us!!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
And when did Angelina start working with Johnny Depp????
Submitted by stake_spike on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 6:46pm.
That trick needs to stop having kids until she can prove she can take care of the other 5 million she has. The only difference between her and Dashiki from "Don't Be Menace to South Central" is money.
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Ashtray I got something to tell you.. "I'm pregnant!"
Damn, already.
Medusa is a snake-headed beauty!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 1:51pm.
Anorexia, Flatbush, is when you perceive yourself to be fat, when you are not, and go to extremes to starve yourself.
Anorexia is not being under weight for your height. Check your facts Ma'am.
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Cuppie knows fromwhence she speaks too, dog, since Cuppie's been 'round up in here, I gained 10 lbs and I used to be an underweight whore...*lickin' Cup's head*....Hmmm'hmmm...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Lysette on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 5:45pm.
The kid looks a little ... um, slow. Jet lag is a bitch.
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I agree. Special ed, for sure.
How does an emaciated woman on heroin get pregnant so frequently? Shouldn't her body just rebel and say "no"?
And why is Knox the only twin we're allowed to see? I've grown tired of his droopy eyelids and bored expression.
"[Depp] made a 1/2 billion dollars on the Pirate movies."
Ah, no. I don't know what he made for the first, but he got $20 million each for the second and third, plus some of the profits. And supposedly he's getting $40 million for the fourth. That's nowhere near half a billion.
And Star should have said the baby was Johnny's. That certainly would have sent the Brangeloonies running for the Kool-Aid.
That trick needs to stop having kids until she can prove she can take care of the other 5 million she has. The only difference between her and Dashiki from "Don't Be Menace to South Central" is money.
I guess at least they'll have money to wipe away the tears of their shitty childhoods.
Should Tori take the $10 million?
Medusa is a snake-headed beauty!
SJP looks like she is starving herself to death!
Brad's mother looks like I would imagine Jennifer Aniston's mom to look like!
The kid looks a little ... um, slow. Jet lag is a bitch.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 12:29pm.
THERE'S NO DISCOUNT FOR AGREEING WITH ME!
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Snowy, please don't make me imagine you look like her.
It's funny how these dialogs stick regardless of whether you like them or not. I can't them out of my head.
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true, true, true, the other one is "you had me at no lines, I love you, oh, oops, hey" whatever the fuck she says at the Kiosk machine. Stupid fucking commercials and yet I can recite some from cover to cover, sadness :( :( !!!
Ladies,
That is how you TRAP your man!!!!!!!!
OMG Im just seeing this, this fucking bitch is pregnant again, wtf? She needs her uterus ripped out...we dont need anymore people in this world. Let alone a greedy bitch that has 6 already, is she trying to give Octomom a run for vag canal?
Oh well in that case, no further questions!
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Hee hee, yes, she can smother her delusions all over my carrot-cake before I gorge myself on her sadness. - Ziggy Stardust 2•22•10
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 3:32pm.
KD - I can see that making sense,but wouldn't s/he just say "fasting." I dunno, it's not a huge deal I was just thinking starvation at any age is never a good thing.
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Yeah! well a lot of stuff s/he says is pretty ridiculous!
KD - I can see that making sense,but wouldn't s/he just say "fasting." I dunno, it's not a huge deal I was just thinking starvation at any age is never a good thing.
☻•☻•☻•☻•☻•☻•☻•☻•☻
Hee hee, yes, she can smother her delusions all over my carrot-cake before I gorge myself on her sadness. - Ziggy Stardust 2•22•10
I think maybe Flatbush means fasting a meal is good, but fasting has a religious connotation.
What a coincidence! I had pasta salted with my kids' tears last night.
Flatbush - Are you really suggesting that self-starving is a good thing if done right? Wake up and smell the Anorexia Nervosa.
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Hee hee, yes, she can smother her delusions all over my carrot-cake before I gorge myself on her sadness. - Ziggy Stardust 2•22•10
Submitted by Capitanne on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 1:31pm.
What was Johhny Depp thinking when he signed up for AJ's 10th lame spy movie and joined her on this publicity stunt/movie set? He's private, has eclectic taste in films and 1/2 billion dollars. Didn't he see this cluster fuck coming?
A-fucking-greed. I bet he's kicking himself now. The overexposure she always creates during the making of her films and just before the release actually make me want to avoid whatever she's in at all costs. Depp might bring them in for this one, but anything she rams down everybody's throat (Changeling, A Might Heart) bombs.
Didn't we already do this like, a year ago? The tabs have been advertising Brangie's 7th child for months now. As they have been claiming they have broken up, that Brad is back with Jen, that they're adopting from Haiti, and nothing has happened since the messiah twins were born. DUDE. THIS IS A BORING COUPLE. NOTHING EVER HAPPENS TO THEM. STOP TRYING TO MAKE THEM LOOK EXCITING.
Riiiiiight.....
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Hee hee, yes, she can smother her delusions all over my carrot-cake before I gorge myself on her sadness. - Ziggy Stardust 2•22•10
Good lord, don't you need to ovulate to get pregnant? If she is, then woe betide the middle kids.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
HI EVIL! HAPPY HUMP DAY!
I fail to understand how a Bot can get pregnant but somehow Skankelina keeps doing it.
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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 1:54pm.
Evil, Flatbush needs a little Wiki in her life.
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HI DOGGIE.
Yes, you have that right. The internet can be your research friend!
JJ is beyond frightening, i think madam s. said the comments have to be a joke...i agree. or its terri ann with 8,000 identities...this is seriously insane.
EXAMPLE from JJ:
luv B&A @ 04/14/2010 at 2:45 pm +2
These haters that are here are so pathetic,still hating on Jolie and Babies.Like it or not Jolie is more wife and daughter-in-law than the fake Aniston ever was and ever will be.Jolie will be in this Family forever.Aniston is so fake and a lost cause.Aniston will never be happy.Aniston does not know about real happiness.Aniston is
pathetic .
Read more: http://justjared.buzznet.com/2010/04/14/angelina-jolie-jane-pitt-twins-t...
Whoo HOO! Third pregnancy, whoopty fucking do. Still doesn't ignore the fact she's got SIX other window lickers to take care of.
Me thinks Angie has that disorder where women LOVE babies, but as soon as they start becoming mobile and talking, she's tired of them.
Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 1:01pm.
ahahahhaahaha, Buddi!
motherfucker, I lick pits for a living Sucky 12/14/2009
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LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
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Evil, Flatbush needs a little Wiki in her life.
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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Anorexia, Flatbush, is when you perceive yourself to be fat, when you are not, and go to extremes to starve yourself.
Anorexia is not being under weight for your height. Check your facts Ma'am.
TeriAnn wouldn't miss an opportunity to be a dumb hooker.
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 1:29pm.
no way jose... there's a bunch of us on here that wanna surgically remove her vocal cords with baby spoon.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
BOO, YOU WHORE. MissJaneTexas 04/14/10
What was Johhny Depp thinking when he signed up for AJ's 10th lame spy movie and joined her on this publicity stunt/movie set? He's private, has eclectic taste in films and 1/2 billion dollars. Didn't he see this cluster fuck coming?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 12:37pm.
OMG snowy... HATE HER!!!! DISCOUNT!!!! uhg
OMG I thought I was the only one! :D
LMAO at snowy and sweetASS
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
BOO, YOU WHORE. MissJaneTexas 04/14/10
TeriAnn on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 1:18pm.
It's all good haters, lets celebrate. This will be her third pregnancy(if true) not 10th, gee some of you are ignorant. Can't blame either one, both wanted big families.
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But we are counting the twins and the adoptables too. Angie would be very upset that you left out the adoptables. She gave burf to them in SPIRIT!!! Sad, sad, day when Angie lovers put her adoptables at the back of the bus.
;(
Who the fuckity fuck cares about these stick people!
TERIANN! YOU CAME!
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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
for the life of me, a bitch can't drink grape juice...god damn it.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
It's all good haters, lets celebrate. This will be her third pregnancy(if true) not 10th, gee some of you are ignorant. Can't blame either one, both wanted big families.