Oh, How I Love Your Fishy Face

So I'm over at the Daily Mail looking at a few pictures from the Bent On Learning benefit in NYC last night when BAM! This precious portrait hit me like a hug from Aretha Franklin's chichis. The photographer caught Fishsticks Paltrow in the perfect GOOP moment! She looks like an emaciated alien fish who is waaaay too pleased with herself. This is perfection.

Unfortunately, her face is normal-ish looking in the other pictures. So just file this under "a shooting star." This picture is like a wink from God letting us all know that he feels us. I'm totally going to blow it up and hang it over my bed so that when I wake up in the morning I will be reminded that the world is filled with beautiful gifts. You just have to search photo agencies to find them.

Here's more pictures from last night including some of Vadge (who is obviously storing virgin balls in her cheeks for the summer) and Lourdes.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Naughychimp on Sun, 05/02/2010 - 3:17am.

As much as I loathe Fishsticks, I do think the c*nt is very pretty. Lourdes, on the other hand *shudder* She looks like Carlos Leon with a wig on! That long jaw and droopy eyes... not pretty.

Submitted by Carl B on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:33pm.

She got the cutest little fishy face.
I had fish tacos from my local taqueria anoche, and I pondered the fishiness of it all. I am the pescador de amor, and it still feels uncomfortable.

Submitted by misskitty on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:01pm.

Madonna will not let her children watch television but she lets her young daughter out of the house dressed like that. My daughters are 15 and 17 and my hubby would never, ever let them leave the house dressed like.
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Lane, I have been going to this high school for 7 years. I'm no dummy.

Submitted by CeeCee on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:53am.

Hm. My daughter is also 13 and if I tried to hold her hand she'd bitch slap me.

Lourdes DID tweak her eyebrows. (Thank goodness.)

Submitted by Poppus on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:39am.

Madonna just terrifies me now. I used to just hate her but oh man...that poor girl (Lourdes). Fishsicks always looks like a dried up CT trophy wife to me (as does her mom, Martha Stewart, Meryl Streep etc)

Submitted by RasKimmie on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 9:37am.

Vadge is looking at Lourdes like "If you even THINK of upstaging me I will shank you and then double dutch on your dead body."

And Lourdes looks kinda smug like "All bitches crack. I can wait."

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If I have to come back here it's gonna get fuckin ugly.

Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 6:44am.

She looks like a computer-generated morphing of Lucy Lui and Cate Blanchet.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.

Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 6:40am.

Gwynneth got her eyes done

Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 6:39am.

Cute picture where Madonna is looking at Lourdes :)

Submitted by Ast on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 5:39am.

Lourdes is so pretty but she's starting to look a little Kardashian-esque. She needs an edgy haircut or something to de-Kardashian her.

Submitted by MrPossumsMama on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 4:37am.

I'm amazed Vadge and Lourdes appear to still have a friendly relationship - I would've expected Vadge to claw Lourdes' eyes out in a fit of jealous rage by now.

Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 1:14am.

omg lourdes is really pretty, and girl leave those eye brows alone!! dont ever tweek them lol
no wonder vadge is going to all extremes including dating baby jesus to stay young.

i reckon vadge is one of those mothers who are jealous of their daughters.

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:26am.

Lourdes is becoming quite stunning! Sorry but I think Fishy is purdy, I just kinda like her:) Poor ole Vadge is such a monet.

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Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 11:54pm.

This one's for you, Fishy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4&a=2Q2r4tXWbZY&playnext_from=M...

Submitted by norma_desmond on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 11:38pm.

the "boot shoe" and short short skirt can make anyone look kind of "stocky"--Here Paltrow is so slim and it makes even her look kinda weird.
It is too funny that Lourdes is so wealthy and wearing "torn" hose. Oh the irony! As for Madonna--I agree she doesn't look bad here. The cheeks are odd...but all things considered, she has looked much worse.

Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 9:53pm.

Best photo of this smug, self-satisfied, know-it-all twit that I have seen. Thanks for sharing... Madonna needs a new dentist.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 7:37pm.

WHY VADGE'S TEEFS BE GREEN???? FOR WHY??? (shhhh...I was going to add 'bitch ain't British no mo now that Guy left her ass'...but I don't want to rile up the TEEFS debate amongst us Dlisters...shhh...)...but why is her TEEFS green... and is Lourdes doomed to the same 'Br*****' oral hygeine as MAMA Green Algae Tartar build up Queen TEEFS????...NAST...Amy Winehouse's TEEFS look better and she HAS an excuse...She's a Brit...I keed, I keed, it's cuz of all them drugs she does...(shhh...no it isn't)...No, I keed, I keed...Really, I do...

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 7:05pm.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 7:01pm.
Lourdes is pretty but she's looking a little Amy Wino before becoming a crackhead.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_p1I4fTfMjU4/R1NRBbDQa8I/AAAAAAAAAEc/YVytfGsSV6...

88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

THAT'S AMY WINO!??????!! *falls out of oven* OMG! No way!

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 7:01pm.

Lourdes is pretty but she's looking a little Amy Wino before becoming a crackhead.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_p1I4fTfMjU4/R1NRBbDQa8I/AAAAAAAAAEc/YVytfGsSV6...

And she looks like she wants to break free of Mommy's knuckle-cracking claw.

Submitted by morphoeugenia on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 6:44pm.

Lourdes is gorgeous! How jealous is Madge?
Gwyneth just looks... tight, her skin is so tightly drawn over her tired old bones. It's weird what happens to model skinny women when they get older, they just look like rubber bands at their breaking point.

YousayyougotmybabybutIknowitainttrue

Submitted by Datura on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 6:31pm.

Lourdes is very pretty, but that much make-up at fourteen is creepy in a Lolita way.

Reminds me of an article on Lainey's site a few years ago about Ali Lohan. The article was called "This is what 14 looks like now" (or something to that end), and it had a picture of Ali in full hair and make-up next to a picture of Lindsay from when she was fourteen in the 90's looking... like a kid.

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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

Submitted by cprincess on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 5:50pm.

"Submitted by StormyWeathers on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:55pm.
Am I the only one who thinks Madonna finally looks good?"

Yes you are.....tee hee....

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 5:50pm.

Lourdes is pretty cute. How long before Madonna-is-jealous-of-daughter and Madonna-stole-daughter's-man stories start hitting the tabloids?

Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON

Submitted by Dog on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 5:43pm.

Fishy went to Spence and NEVER lets anyone forget that.

My friend went to Miss Porters and she got expelled. So there. Let's see Fishy claim THAT!

*sniff*

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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.

http://www.modestneeds.org/

Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 5:38pm.

Stop picking on our Gwynnie! I adore her. And doesn't she have the best teeth? Fabulous.
Not liking Lourdes' tights or whatever they are.

Submitted by chaka1 on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 5:34pm.

Go head, Lourdess.

Submitted by Infamous on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 5:17pm.

Lourdes is pretty

www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous

Submitted by justincase on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 5:15pm.

I like thumbnails because they are too small for obvious details but curiously they highlight things we may not notice in the blow-up. Such as: Fishy's dress is too short and makes her legs look short and fat, Lourdes looks as though she could be in her late 20s, and Vadge's fake and dyed black roots are looking fakier than ever. When things pop out of such small images they are visually undeniable.

Submitted by justincase on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 5:07pm.

Fishy has lost her fashion edge (or the one fashioned by stylists). The dress is too short if it is noticeable in a thumbnail. Ladies, it's okay to drop the hemline a little after 30, classy-like.

Submitted by mike on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 4:52pm.

Submitted by StormyWeathers on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:55pm.

And I really don't understand some people saying she should whiten teeth. They're ok. Overly white, "glowing-in-the-dark" teeth look fake and are even more appalling than not so perfect ones.

Me either. When just about ANYONE can afford a pack of whitening strips or whatever, what's the appeal?

Submitted by justincase on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 4:50pm.

UH OH! Lourdes is looking just as Vadge wishes she herself looked: much younger, Spanish-y and pretty. There be big trouble in Ciccone futures.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 4:48pm.

starving alien fish is right for Fishy...a starving alien fish sucking on a lemon indeed.

Vadge should just give it up and let Lourdes take it from here. Lola seems to have stumbled upon a chest full of her Mom's 1984 clothes and hosiery. I also wonder if she already came across a copy of the book SEX.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QygiW1yGkOU&feature=related
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Submitted by StormyWeathers on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:55pm.

Am I the only one who thinks Madonna finally looks good? She looked great during her 'disco' years, then awful Timberlake song came, she got her new cheeks (which ruined her once beautiful eyes), and now it's all settled and she actually starts to have some kind of facial expression again.
And I really don't understand some people saying she should whiten teeth. They're ok. Overly white, "glowing-in-the-dark" teeth look fake and are even more appalling than not so perfect ones.

Submitted by bambam on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:32pm.

Ohhhhhh those legs, those legs, I would play rabbit ear antennas with those legs while I pounded her silly.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqnD11rjrtc

Submitted by Miami on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:25pm.

Madonna looks old and freakish. All that money and she cannot get a good facial surgeon.

Fishy looks really good. She is a spoiled, smug, entitled, bitch with little talent, but she is pretty. I don't think she has too much Botox here.

Submitted by cprincess on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:21pm.

"Submitted by Voice of Reason on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 2:38pm.

I don't understand the "Fishface" moniker. She doesn't look like a fish to me, she looks like Dino the dinosaur from The Flintstones.
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I believe the "Fishy" label was created originally by MK in reference to Paltrow's bland and boring personality and look. She's about as exciting as fishsticks.
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Paltrow was nicknamed "Fishstick" about a decade ago by Ted Casablanca. Basically, he felt she was "Cold as a fish, thin as a stick." He never wrote it as a plural.
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I personally never met a fish stick that I didnt love(so crunchy and delicious) until this one......

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by cprincess on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:18pm.

"Submitted by Lovers Keep On ... on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:14pm.
I read an article where Gwyneth's friends were quoted as saying that "90% of her relationship with Chris is physical." Ridiculous, seeing as how she doesn't have sex."
I agree that Fishy, aside from wearing the most unflattering clothes becuase shes such a fashion victim ,is completely sexless.....
Why does Vadges hair always look like shit as well color wise???

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by joanne on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:17pm.

She looks so shiny and stiff.

Lovers Keep On The Road Youre On's picture

Submitted by Lovers Keep On ... on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:14pm.

I read an article where Gwyneth's friends were quoted as saying that "90% of her relationship with Chris is physical." Ridiculous, seeing as how she doesn't have sex.

Submitted by Bowchickawawa on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:05pm.

Submitted by Voice of Reason on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 2:38pm.

Paltrow was nicknamed "Fishstick" about a decade ago by Ted Casablanca. Basically, he felt she was "Cold as a fish, thin as a stick." He never wrote it as a plural.
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As soon as I started reading your reply, I remembered the Casablanca thing. You're right! Thanks for the clarification!!

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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:03pm.

Fishy and Madge. Two wanna-be Brits. Classic.

Submitted by KidL on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 3:00pm.

Looks like GOOPy overdid with the Botox. She's had some work done judging by these photos and it is not good work either.

Submitted by NC-Ladee on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 2:59pm.

OMG MK - I always wondered why you called her Fishy - I can almost see the air bubbles in this pix!

Submitted by Albatross on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 2:55pm.

Nice ripped stockings, Lourdes. *eye roll*

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Always have, always will.

Submitted by davidbowiescodpiece on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 2:51pm.

She looks like a damn gelfling from the Dark Crystal. Odd

Submitted by Goldshift on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 2:50pm.

I will never like this entitled, smug BITCH. she walks around like she's fucking Meryl Streep just because her daddy got her an Oscar--even though we all know it should've gone to the lovely Cate Blanchett.

Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 2:41pm.

I'm sick of Gwyneth Paltrow's little uniform that she sports everywhere. A minidress too short for her, black booties, and a blazer or little jacket. For the past two years, that's all she's been wearing.

Submitted by Voice of Reason on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 2:38pm.

Paltrow was nicknamed "Fishstick" about a decade ago by Ted Casablanca. Basically, he felt she was "Cold as a fish, thin as a stick." He never wrote it as a plural.

Every time I get the Goop titled "Make," I think she's telling me to poop.

Submitted by Thats_Real_Mature on Thu, 04/29/2010 - 2:26pm.

Great, now I have fish sticks in my toaster oven. Life was so much better before I was laid off and COULDN'T eat myself into a stuper (sp?) every afternoon, blah.