Joaquin Phoenix's Mockumentary Might Be A Scat Film
Have you always wanted to see Joaquin Phoenix get shat on while he slept? Or as Joel McHale would say, get a Spencer Pratt to the face while he twirled away in dreamland? Well, you've got luck in your pocket (and sickness in your brains), because word is that Joaquin's documentary features a scene where one of his arch rivals literally takes a shit on top of him. While a dookie on Joaquin's face doesn't sound like a pretty sight, anything is better than that hairy shit on his face.
The news went around last week that Casey Affleck, who directed that shit, is shopping the documentary I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix around to buyers. The L.A. Times says that while some people are interested in buying Joaquin's shit party for one, most left the screening scratching their heads and not because his flea-ridden appearance gave them the itches.
Agents at William Morris Endeavor, the sellers of the Casey Affleck-directed film, have started showing the movie to potential distributors, and while some were apparently interested in bidding for “I’m Still Here’s” distribution rights, the shoppers left the screening perhaps even more mystified by Phoenix’s behavior than when they walked in.Several buyers said the film overflowed with Hollywood debauchery, including more male frontal nudity than you’d find in some gay porn films and a stomach-turning sequence in which someone feuding with Phoenix defecates on the actor while he’s asleep.
Buyers still aren't sure if the movie is real or a hoax, so the caca on Joaquin could actually be ground beef from Taco Bell or one of Fishstick Paltrow's dishes from GOOP.
And tell your genitals to calm down, because I doubt the frontal nudity is anything to fap about. If the beard matches the pubes, then it probably just looks like an albino mole peeking through a dead shrub.
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I don't even want to see myself shit, let alone this dirty looking muthafucka!
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Wow. So not interested. I guess he peaked around "Gladiator" and now it's just hairy poopy weird times.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
what the hell happened to this guy ?!
Perhaps he could tweet Courtney Love & hook up with a fellow looney. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Joachim & Courtney meet, get drunk & are all alone in her bedroom. Ewww, on second thought - NOT!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Berra →←
I was just watching Gladiator yesterday and Joaquin used to be sooo fine...he and Brad Pitt need a pretty boy intervention done to get their sexy back stat.
He look terrible with that holee olee olee hat on, and that scruffy beard.
Come on ease on down
ease on down the road...
I wish I had a camera when my BIL stuck his drunken dick on his brother (my husband)'s head just for fun.
What a douchey group of people he hangs out with. What a shame. They all just encourage one another.
"it probably just looks like an albino mole peeking through a dead shrub"
MK, you really know how to turn a phrase. I snorted coffee all over my keyboard over that!
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
I hope he is not as messed up as River was.
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
This is all bullshit, he's just a retard and now he's becoming a brokeass bitch because his music sucks and it's not selling, he's trying to get back in hollywood and trying to make himeslef look like a creative genius, but we al know he's just an idiot.
AMEN TO THAT!
Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 05/10/2010 - 12:45pm.
How much worse could it be than that video of Perez licking cum off the floor of that porn arcade?
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I just threw up a little in my mouth.
How nice, Ryan Cabrera gave Joaquin his old hat.
Alrighty then.
And some of you fuckers really need sedatives.
:þ
(and share when you get some, selfish)
I smell an Oscar.
A movie I will gladly skip.
I hope his nemesis is a dog or maybe a parrot. That could be funny. Human on human pooping=not funny.
This thing on his head makes me laugh.
THE FUCK?
How fucking RETARDED do you have to be to think anyone would give a flying FUCK and wanna see this SHIT!?!! get over yourself you stupid piece of shit! BYE GOOD - FUCKER MOTHER!!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
I didn't realize that Joaquins' career was in the shitter (yes, pun intended)and that he had to resort to this kind of nonsense to get noticed
One word: duckbutter!
Sooo, someone shit on his face and other people filmed it? I don't get it.....I guess unless it was Casey, who did both the shitting and the filming.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 05/10/2010 - 12:27pm.
Easy there dog.. You know when you get excited you piddle on the carpet.
^^^^^^^^
Only on yours and only when I watch you and your man bonking. You know how us canines love that shit. :-)
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Why the FUCK would I pay to see some coked up has-been indulge his hallucinations on film?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Casey Affleck needs to leak some of " One Tool, No Cup! " to the web. *********************************************************************************************** Have a Donka Doo Ball Day! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvvvIm6OhHc
Enough of this man, who was apparently attacked by a group of locust type moths. Open post or something please.
LOL... Joaquin got shit faced - LITERALLY.
How much worse could it be than that video of Perez licking cum off the floor of that porn arcade? *********************************************************************************************** Have a Donka Doo Ball Day! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvvvIm6OhHc
Loser. Why can't he just act? Is that not enough??? Similar to John Mayer (who is actually TALENTED) feeling the need to be such an attention whore-y douche. JUST STICK WITH WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT!!!
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Douchechill!
huh?
he's a good actor, has screen presence, can play a variety of roles, is good looking... i guess that's too much to handle, eh???
I don't get these people that can't just be happy and take what they've been given by evolution/society and run with it. If he feels guilty, get in to some philanthropy or something.
Holy Mac, Wakeem. What a major FAIL.
♥ Threadkilla!
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I didn't heed Snowy's warning and now I'm sorry.
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Guys, MK faked you out with that link. It's just Heidi Mont-hag.
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"You, sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
The Albino Mole is one of the scariest creatures I've ever seen. I'll never recover.
This will be the best movie in a decade. Guaranteed.
This is all bullshit, he's just a retard and now he's becoming a brokeass bitch because his music sucks and it's not selling, he's trying to get back in hollywood and trying to make himeslef look like a creative genius, but we al know he's just an idiot.
Too much crack.
I will lose all faith in humanity if someone buys this movie. It sounds like something of the Jackass or frat boy genre
OH My Lord, don't click on albino mole!!!!
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
Easy there dog.. You know when you get excited you piddle on the carpet.
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Johnny Fairpay was that you?
and no thanks, I'll pass on this one, I can't even stand to look at his face, let alone his hairy peen
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
are there nude photos of Joaquin?
TEAM UM. NO THANKS!!!!!!!!!!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living" Sucky 12/14/2009
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
LawDog 04/15/2010 Who DOESN'T enjoy a gang bang? WTF
BRING ON THE DICKS.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
If his face looks like THAT, I do NOT want to see what the areas where the sun don't shine (and the air doesn't reach) look like.
Sounds like a shitty film no matter what way you slice it.
His name should always appear in print as "Joaquin (Sorry I'm Not as Good Looking or Talented as River) Phoenix."
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"You, sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
Um. No thanks.
PEEN! I WANT PEEN! SHOW ME PEEN!
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/