Tiger Woods, Vanilla Gorilla, And Now Matt Lauer
Tiger Woods and Vanilla Gorilla might have found the third piece to complete their manslut trinity! Lock up your vaginas, because the Three Whoremigos are coming! Maybe. Possibly. That's if you believe the National Enquirer (via Radar). They are shouting from the top of the sex rehab clinic that Matt Lauer and his wife of 12 years Annette haven't lived under the same roof in 2 months.
Apparently, Annette believes that Matt passed his peen all around Vancouver while he was covering the Winter Olympics last February. Basically, every time Johnny Weir threw Evan Likesdadick a shank eye, Matt Lauer was sticking it in some random piece. That's a lot of pieces.
A wife of another staffer whispered in Annette's ear about Matt's trampy ways in Vancouver. Matt was spotted "canoodling" with at least two female broadcasters. Annette's suspicions reached a fever pitch when Matt stood her up on Valentine's Day, because he wanted to stay in Vancouver instead. Matt denied the accusations when Annette confronted him, but she still thinks something in the milk ain't clean (hint: it's herpes).
This wouldn't be the first time Matt dipped his dong on the down low. He reportedly cheated on Annette just a few months before they got married. In 2006, Annette filed for divorce, but canceled that shit after one month.
A source tells the Enquirer, "Matt is trying to keep this [split] on the down low. Matt is still very involved in his children's lives. He goes to the family apartment after he finishes his Today duties to see the kids - and picks them up from school. For their sake, he and Annette plan to continue getting together on weekends - and they'll go to their house in the Hamptons."
I believe this, because Matt looks like the type who will pick up a chick in a bar and finger her in a bathroom stall (while still wearing his wedding ring) without even buying her a drank! Then he goes home and sweetly holds his wife's face with his trick's snatch syrup still glistening on his finger.
Matt is kind of dude who asks his trick to give him a beej in the cab and then immediately gets out afterwards leaving her with the fare. Then he goes home and tells his wife he forget to shake after going pee pee which is why he's got a wet spot on his crotch area.
You know that bitch. Hell, you were probably the slut in the cab!
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Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 05/14/2010 - 9:54am.
AnotherDirtyMartini OMG I had such a crush on Steve Garvey when I was a kid! Now I think he's gross!
^^snowpiece, he was really smug...standing there w/a smirk "look at me everyone!" I think he was wearing a suit which seemed to me a little overdressed for a plane trip.
Love your avie...
Submitted by yucko on Thu, 05/13/2010 - 11:31pm.
Submitted by agirl on Thu, 05/13/2010 - 1:12pm.
Let this be a lesson to all ladies, if you won't do it, he will find somone who will.
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Even if you DO do it, he might cheat on you.
Well Yes that is true too.
What I was thinking about Annette is that she's probably not much fun in bed. With the starving and the humorlessness, plus women are not supposed to have bony edges, who can blame him for seeking to do sex with someone else?
Lauer has always been a manwhore, so this is not news. I thought he was hitting it with Katie Couric? There were rumors about them for YEARS. Remember his best friend is Bryant Gumball, a notorious manwhore. Birds of a feather flock together.
AnotherDirtyMartini OMG I had such a crush on Steve Garvey when I was a kid! Now I think he's gross!
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
@ DirtyWhoreMouth
Your avi made me spit my coffee -- love it!
OT: Come on Annette, get your can of whoop ass out girl!
♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥
elen sila lumen omentilmo-LOTR
My most vivid memory of this clown is when Michael Moore pwned his ass when he called him out for asking him tougher questions about his latest documentary than he asked BushCo about Iraq prior to the war. He just laughed at him on air while Lauer squirmed. Priceless.
That closet gay Mike Walker from the Enquirer doesn't live with his wife either. What a rag. They hid that Tiger Woods story until it broke without them, and now are trying to get all their poison out before they are scooped. I don't even know what Matt Lauer does, or have ever paid attention to Jesse James.
He & the wifey are both denying hard:
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/05/13/2010-05-13_matt_lauer_cheat...
...death by LOLing for me tonight, thanks MK!
Submitted by agirl on Thu, 05/13/2010 - 1:12pm.
Let this be a lesson to all ladies, if you won't do it, he will find somone who will.
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Even if you DO do it, he might cheat on you. There is no "cheating security"--cheating is often just a matter of circumstance. I hate it when people are led to believe that there's some kind of 'put out = he won't cheat on you' equation. From what I've read/watched/experienced/etc. it seems like you could marry the rich CEO, the hot playboy, or the nice ugly dude who you think can't POSSIBLY cheat on you because he must be too grateful, and it could still happen. Quite honestly, it seems like the best "insurance" is for them work in an environment that is mostly one gender (unless they're gay or bi).
Of course, he probably will certainly cheat on you if you never have sex with him. Or her. Whomever.
I guess I didn't know much about Matt Lauer because he never struck me as particularly greasy or douchey. But now that I really look at him, the cab scenario sounds about right.
|Of course Matt Lauer is/was cheating. His wife has been preoccupied with her eating disorder for many years now |
Dutch treat has had the raging eating disorder for years because her hubby has been nailing everything in sight and she's trying to control SOMETHING in her life; I can't hate on a betrayed wife in pain.
He's an ass. He's been cheating since before they even got married: remember the story of the little blonde restaurant hostess in Florida? Bet he and Tiki have been high-5ing each other all over the place. Annette needs a shot of self respect: take the kids and get the hell out.
Btw, I totally remember Annette in the Victoria's Secret Catalog....circa 1992. She is WAAAAAAY too good for Matt.
Whew! Thanks for the warning MK. Just as I locked up my vagina, a dick flew by and hit me in the thigh. Close call! Kind of reminds me of the time I stood too close to Steve Garvey at the Indianapolis Airport. I worried for weeks that I would be the next on his knock-up list!
mrs. lauer is totally gonna clean house
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://teacupsandcouture.wordpress.com
These rumors were running rampant before. He has beady little eyes, so no I don't trust him.
Come on ease on down
ease on down the road...
Matt Lauer's just an all around prick. The last time I watched his ass on TV was when he was going around MJ's Neverland acting all sensationalized and shit. Fucking asshole even tried to make it sound like MJ's closet safe was a 'secret room' just to make it all a little more salacious. Like Matt Lauer's shit don't stink eh. Dig deep enough there's always shit.
Don't like men who cheat on their wives. Bleh!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eCCAAsLJeY
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If you have to preface a statement with "Not to be a total prude, but..." YOU ARE A TOTAL PRUDE.
ahaha.. Lauer looks totally disgusting in that pic. And not to mention how GLIB he looks. He needs to stop being so glib.
Farleh farleh farleh farleh farleh...HAFARRRRRRRRRR!
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If you have to preface a statement with "Not to be a total prude, but..." YOU ARE A TOTAL PRUDE.
I believe this, because Matt looks like the type who will pick up a chick in a bar and finger her in a bathroom stall (while still wearing his wedding ring) without even buying her a drank! Then he goes home and sweetly holds his wife's face with his trick's snatch syrup still glistening on his finger.
Matt is kind of dude who asks his trick to give him a beej in the cab and then immediately gets out afterwards leaving her with the fare. Then he goes home and tells his wife he forget to shake after going pee pee which is why he's got a wet spot on his crotch area.
You know that bitch. Hell, you were probably the slut in the cab!
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Ha! Like, every married guy in NYC is like this!
My favorite song is "Don't Get Fooled Again!"
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
Matt Lauer???? Really?? He looks so...boring and...limp.
Huh!
"Then he goes home and sweetly holds his wife's face with his trick's snatch syrup still glistening on his finger."
Oh shit. "Snatch syrup"! That is just WRONG. And hilarious.
Of course Matt Lauer is/was cheating. His wife has been preoccupied with her eating disorder for many years now and Matt is a dog but he is one dog that doesn't like a bone, apparently. She needs to eat a sandwich and then follow it with a snack of her husband's hotdog.
Let this be a lesson to all ladies, if you won't do it, he will find somone who will.
Time for Annette to get her money and roll out
Hate for him!
I'd hit it, he has a smokin' body under that suit. Then I would call him a glib fuck, which he'd probably enjoy.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
I've never liked Matt, but I've always liked Annette. I can remember her from when she was a model in J. Crew catalogs.
He has always struck me as a cock. I hate watching him on the today show, he just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and that is him trying to be likeable in front of the camera.
Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 05/13/2010 - 9:57am.
all the offices and conference rooms around here have windows so you can never get busy in the office. 30 rock must have those old school offices with no windows on the inside so you can screw and whack off to your hearts content. so lucky.
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A firm I used to work for had its main office on the 43rd floor of 30 Rock - most of our offices had sidelights so you could see into them even if the doors were shut.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
I believe this, because Matt looks like the type who will pick up a chick in a bar and finger her in a bathroom stall (while still wearing his wedding ring) without even buying her a drank! Then he goes home and sweetly holds his wife's face with his trick's snatch syrup still glistening on his finger.
***
Ahahahaha, MK!!! HE DOES!
Never liked this guy. He always seemed like an arrogant prick to me.
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I thought she found out about his constant cheating years ago.
Really? She noticed NOW that he's a cheating whore man?
I love Meredith, cause she manages to tick him off. ha!! Just love how she manages to make his skin crawl!! CLASSIC!!
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Sorry, my English is not very good looking." Celia Cruz
LIKESDADICK- haha, luff it so. Team Weir!
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Thu, 05/13/2010 - 9:46am.
Meredith shares entirely too much sometimes...which is part of what makes her a better host than Katie Couric...but if it's true that she and Matt were boning, she does have some idea of when to button her lip.
all the offices and conference rooms around here have windows so you can never get busy in the office. 30 rock must have those old school offices with no windows on the inside so you can screw and whack off to your hearts content. so lucky.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 05/13/2010 - 8:44am.
"Ok are there any men left who don't dip their peen in stank inkwells?"
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DWM - I believe you have just coined a phrase. Perhaps it can be shortened to stankwell(s)... (rolls off the tongue better.)
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"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus
Mmmmm, herpes milk.
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"Gobble a bowl of dicks." Submitted by HOTNEY
It's always the more normal looking guys that are the freakiest in bed. I bet Matt is all kinds of freaky. I'd hit that.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
I think MK is totally reading Matt Lauer right.
Lauer really does look like a sloppy, self-centered, cheapskate, man ho.
I'm disturbed about the fact that we're so desensitized to these things that we need at least 2 face-tattooed bisexual skanks and/or waitresses with low self esteem that will let the guy do anything...which he does...to at all care. :(
charlie m - LMFAO!
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"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus
Joe Dabb Babbalucci
Remember when Meredith Vieira once confessed on The View that her husband used to fuck her in her sleep and she slept through it all?
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What the FUCK? She really told the world that? WTF is this world coming to?
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I'm your huckleberry...
Pigsley: Rachel Fuck-and-Tell? yeah that would be awesome, LOL I hope they all gave each other a bunch of STD's
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
So Tiger, VG, Angel, and now Matt Lauer. Way to fucking go guys. Hopefully it turns up that Lauer did that piece of shit that Angel and Tiger fucked. Then Gloria Allred should be able to buy her own private island.
Submitted by KaosAndMe on Thu, 05/13/2010 - 9:08am.
He reminds me of a creepy math teacher I had in Grade 12.
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He reminds me of a creepy science teacher I had in 10th grade. He was always eyeballin' the girls--really hard. We were 15 year olds! Yuck!!
I need more escandalo. No voicemails? No texts? No details of giving it up for an NBC mug or raunchy parking lot sex? Step your scandal game up, Matt-hos!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Will ABC, CBS, and the other networks report the story when it comes out that Matty Lauer has been fucking around for years with Meredith Vieira and others for years? Hope so! Ratings will soar! Maybe Larry King will interview Matty? Hot damn!
Remember when Meredith Vieira once confessed on The View that her husband used to fuck her in her sleep and she slept through it all? Maybe she's a JAP? Bet she's awake when Matty bones her!
I wonder if Matty ever fucked Katie Couric. She's supposedly promiscuous. A snaring from her could hurt. Just look at those teeth!
I find it funny that media has become the 'cheat police.' If you suspect your Hollywood lover is cheating, call TMZ or The Enquirer - they'll dispatch their cameramen right away and get to the bottom of this.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
Tiger Woods, Vanilla Gorilla, Matt Laurer, and every man with $ & a working penis. The End.