Lindsay Lohan Is Terrorizing Cannes
The floors of clubs all over Los Angeles will be a little cleaner this week, because Lindsay Lohan isn't around to spill drinks on them or stain them with her fake tan grease when she stumbles down in a drunken stupor. LiLo will be busy doing that in Cannes this week while she's promoting the Linda Lovelace biopic, which she's starring in. So if you see her doing a line, it's research! And if you see her doing another line, it's a reward for being so dedicated to her craft.
If LiLo wants to yell at the pavement for making her fall, yell at the toilet for making her barf into it and yell at a bottle of Jack for being too delicious, can she please do it with an even coat of fake tanner on her body? Bitch has the skin color of a freshly used piece of toilet paper. A little yellow here, a lot of brown here, a few speckles of orange and a lot of white. A mess! Since The Curious Case of Ali Lohan is always tugging at her ass cheeks, LiLo should get her to evenly apply a coat of TANG with a roller when she's taking a nap on the bathroom floor.
• 
She shouldn't look directly into the camera; it makes her seem unashamed that she is is wearing big stupid stolen ill fitting shoes. And while we are at it, who is the dope in the crappy straw hat ?
Dear JUdge and God:
Please send this Hohan alkie to the clinker...if you do this I will never ask for anything ever again. Pretty pretty please and thanks!!
Yours,
Babybuns!!
Two more days to complete four alcohol classes adn I donlt think she is doing them in Cannes, if this bitch walks I have lost all faith in the justice system...and who the hell cast her as Linda Lovelace??? Now that is disgusting, it is almost as stupid as making deals to kill with homeless men for $1,000....almost..maybe evens stupider...cause it will be an epic FAIL!! HOHAN IS NOT SEXY.,...
"Bitch has the skin color of a freshly used piece of toilet paper. A little yellow here, a lot of brown here, a few speckles of orange and a lot of white. A mess!"
This is by far the most accurate description to date, you sir have made my day. *wipes tear*
It's hard to reach those areas of the body without an assistant...let me tell you...LOL! MK you are too hilarious...LOVE!
"Mah Boo releasing his inner cunt is my porn." MK
I would not challenge the judge. LiLo is going to get reamed over this latest tantrum. She certainly deserves it! Tase her! Burn her!
She's an attention slut. The only ways to handle her is to give her the kind of attention she was not expecting (severe punishment!) or ignore her entirely.
She'll be on the WWE soon enough! People want to see her punished for her outrageous behavior. Please accommodate the people's needs, wants, and desires! Pound on LiLo! Beat her with a folding chair. She secretly need and wants to be beaten. It indicates to her that someone cars enough to punish her. Have at it!
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 8:51am.
I'm seeing a Dana Plato ending for this mess
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You read my mind. I just couldn't think of the Different Strokes actress name ...
Lohan will turn to porn next. There's no one in their right minds that will insure her in Hollywood. She's done. Hopefully Dina socked away a few million that she loafed off of her daughter.. they'll both be needing that kitty before you know it. Although she does have 2 other children that she can throw out into the work force... reality tv star, celebrity intervention/rehab, Where are they Now .... the options are endless.
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=e7f1aab9-0727-4784-b504...
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 7:54am.
What the hop skippity goddamn is this strawberry snortcake wearing?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*HOWLING with laughter*
You people must stop hating and let her be great ... er, be faketan.
--
I'm not saying i had a drug problem
but i didn't have a drug solution turns out.
I think her lawyer will weasel her out of it somehow.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
makes me so mad.. she knows that even if she does not show up she will most likely spend 20 seconds in jail..and she will get years of publicity/mag covers.. given the recent history of celebrities and jail time.
i'll put in an imaginary dollar if she doesnt get hauled off to jail
Seriously, she can't see what her ankles look like with the fake spray tan, was she wearing socks? Come on May 20th....I CAN'T wait.
LMFAO @ her stops at the ankles fake tan. BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 10:14am.
Any predictions on whether or not she really does go to jail??
Bitch is enjoying all the publicity... she probably thinks she can stay in France a la Polansky *rolls eyes*
Any predictions on whether or not she really does go to jail??
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 10:01am.
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Art and the meaning of life? GUFFAW!!!
And M.E., if she was really serious about anything, she would have... um... never mind. :)
Oh look, fake tan leggings.
IG - the volcano has been disrupting things for weeks now. Blohan should have been a bit more responsible and kept her ass in CA.
But then again, she thinks she is immune to law, so.....
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 10:00am.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 9:50am.
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I'm so sick of her fauxmosexual tendencies. At this point, I think she'll eff whatever is handy. :P
^^^^^^^^^^^^
She will indeed. Did you see where it said they discuss art and the meaning of life? That really means tattoos and how many shots come in a liter of vodka.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 9:50am.
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I'm so sick of her fauxmosexual tendencies. At this point, I think she'll eff whatever is handy. :P
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 9:47am.
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Thursday. If she doesn't get back from her Cannes fuckery in time, she'll be sure to blame it on this.
http://www.tmz.com/2010/05/17/lindsay-lohan-volcano-court-jail-alcohol-e...
IT WASN'T MY VOLCANO!!!
Looks like the spray on tan stopped right at the ankles. This girl is a huge waste of flesh and she is taking up our air!
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Submitted by Wood Dragon on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 8:50am.
May is National Masturbation Month! Give yourself a hand girl!
Allegedly BloHan's new GF:
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/lohan_sexy_new_lesbian_love_DZK8qk...
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Yeah uh....Lindsey...did you forget that you're supposed to be getting those last 3 or 4 AA classes in before Thursday?
Oh well...GO TO JAIL THEN!!! ;-p
^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^
Fryman, fill your eyes...with....double vision!
When is her court date again???
I'm sure she'll be a no show.
"But I was working!!!!!!!!!!!"
DIE WHORE!
The poor thing has a very unfortunate mini double chin. That must make her nuts. I still can't understand why everyone is so hard on this one. I must have missed the boat on that.
Only Lindsay would roll deep in Cannes with ridiculous red roots.
plato really? imagine her in 3 years NOT looking like rachel uchitel.
I'm seeing a Dana Plato ending for this mess.
Look at thumbnail nine. Her shoulders are all hunched and the way she is walking, she looks like I don't even know what. They said on the radio that she was a freaking MESS after leaving this party. Drunk as a lord and couldn't walk to save her life.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Why is she being dragged around in nearly every picture?
At least she's wearing panties. You can just see them as she is squatting and why she is doing that confounds me.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 7:54am.
What the hop skippity goddamn is this strawberry snortcake wearing?
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LOL at strawberry snortcake!!
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♫ I never really felt quite the same since I lost what I had to gain ♫
I can't stop laughing at the first thumbnail!
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
i see she's the only one following the leave-your-shoes-on-while-applying-tan trend. Man, she's so futuristic.
GOD I LUV THIS BAT SHIT CRAZY BITCH
AS MUCH AS GETTING MY PUBES CAUGHT IN A ZIPPER
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
WANNA MEET MY MOM HERE SHE IS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9HJSolyhpg&feature=related
Her face is really bloated. She looks gross.
The apple does not fall (on her speckled arse) far from the tree.
http://twitter.com/DINALOHAN
I will never understand why anyone still gives this piece of shit the time of day except that moron in the straw hat, maybe. Seriously. And is it true that she really will go to jail?? I heard that on the radio this morning but they said for how long, no one knows. She honestly believes she will get out of jail time!!!!!!!!
TMZ says she will use the "Volcanic Ash" excuse to miss court on Thursday. She so knew this would happen which is why she went. DAMN THIS LITTLE WHORE!
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
what a piece of garbage
i cannot believe they let her in at these events, what is her contribution to the film industry?
What the hop skippity goddamn is this strawberry snortcake wearing?
Linda Lovelace?
Not even.
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Facebook: Triston
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And what the fuck with that face?!
♥ Threadkilla!
Tupac is ALIIIIIIIIVE! ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KvLZ3gdBhw
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What the Fuck kinda gottdam outfit is THAT?
♥ Threadkilla!
Tupac is ALIIIIIIIIVE! ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KvLZ3gdBhw
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
Submitted by nsaustin on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 6:19am.
ahahahahahaha! Looks good for 45!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living" Sucky 12/14/2009
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
LawDog 04/15/2010 Who DOESN'T enjoy a gang bang? WTF
Maybe its just me, but I feel like all those people must be gawking at her and secretly thinking "..so this is the trainweck aka Lindsay Lohan"
Ok maybe for the first minute, then it looks like they are totally not paying her any attention.
Why is she squatting? Is she hiding from someone or is she just getting into the "holding my piss" pose? This girl is just a fall down drunk wherever she goes! Doesn't she realize that she's a joke in the business?
Dina needs to get her ass out of the spa and go collect this kid and drag her ass to a permanent rehab facility. I'm so tired of hearing Lohan explain away her shenanigans as " my teenage/college years" in the public eye. Bitch grow the fuck up ... you should be out of the partying like a college student phase by now. What she's experiencing is called alcoholism !!
I think you have her wrong, look she's holding a straw. To me that sounds like sound, logical thinking to carry around a straw for drinking soft drinks.
she misses that court date in LA without completing those alkie classes and missy is goin to JAIL... i dont think any lawyer can get her out of anything at this point..and with the airports closing in Europe from the ash..she is headed straight to LA COUNTY....
xoxox
The war isn't working.