It's Raining Bloody Spit Balls On Prom Night
Who needs a prom picture in front of a background featuring night clouds and roman columns when you've got a glamorous memento like the mug shot above? This is 18-year-old Jessica Halter of Ohio and she made the North Ridgeville High School prom a night to remember after she was dragged out by police for cursing out the assistant principal, spewing bloody spit balls at paramedics and swinging a chair at the cops.
If Jessica was not crowned prom queen on the spot, then North Ridgeville High needs to throw all their students into detention for not recognizing a royal lady when they see one. Nothing goes with a pair of handcuffs like rhinestones and a sash.
The Smoking Gun has all the glorious details of Jessica's reign of glamour:
According to a Lorain Police Department report, an officer working the North Ridgeville High School prom was approached by school administrators who had received several complaints about the "highly intoxicated" Halter. When told of these complaints, Halter replied, "This is my fucking prom, this is bullshit."Halter, her speech slurred, denied drinking alcohol and cursed out the school's principal and assistant principal. "You are fucking bitches, this is my prom, I'm not drunk," said Halter. After refusing to take a Breathalyzer test, Halter attempted to swing a chair at cops, and then began "smacking her forehead into the chair handle causing her nose to bleed."
While being handcuffed, Halter "began kicking, screaming, spitting and thrashing about." As she was walked out of DeLuca's catering hall, Halter--screaming obscenities--"let her legs go limp," so officers had to carry the teen to a patrol car. That is when Halter "cleared her throat and spit a bloody ball of spit" at Officer Kyle Gelenius, whose name tag was ripped from his uniform by Halter during the confrontation.
Seated in the back of the cruiser, Halter "continued to spit blood on the windows, the divider, and the roof," and kicked the vehicle's window. For her prom night meltdown, Halter was booked into the Lorain County jail and charged with assaulting a cop, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and underage drinking.
"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom" is today's phrase that pays in bloody spit balls! Use it whenever you can. When KFC tells you they are out of Double Downs, look them in the eye and say, "You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!" When your man can't get his dick up and is trying to shove his limp peen into your fuck part, shout at him, "You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!" It works for everything!
Jessica is also proving to us that no amount of Bump-Its or hair spray can leave your hair in a state of ravishment like in the mug shot above. If you want hair like that, you better hike up your Windsor Fashions gown and get ready to rumble. I bet that hair smells like Mike's Hard Lemonade, Sour Apple Schnapps, White Rain, blood, chicken parm and smashed carnations. That sound like the scent for Lindsay Lohan's perfume.
And I really hope Jessica is named "Most Likely To Sprain Her Ankle While Drunkenly Falling Off The Rock Of Love Bus" by her graduating class.
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I call BS. no WAY this chicka is 18- On a good day she looks like a 35 year old cocktail waitress whose barely surviving a life time of warm bud lights and her 2 pack a day habit, but still enjoys giving dirty kneed BJs under a Formica table with vinyl booth seats at the Cock and Bull Pub in Toledo.
just sayin'.
And she looks great! She gets a pass, fersure:)
♥ Threadkilla!
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Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
The photo.The story.The commentary.That FABULOUS hair!
I love it all.
MK, your commentary is priceless...DListed makes my day...
....When your man can't get his dick up and is trying to shove his limp peen into your fuck part, shout at him, "You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!" It works for everything!......
TOO FUNNY!!!!
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That sounds like my kinda prom. I went to 4 proms and at most of them I was either slightly drunk, high on pot or both!
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Droppin Kids Off in the Pool
R.I.P. my baby dog (avatar).
I seriously thought that was a bloated Lohan.
Am I alone here?!
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Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 11:42pm.
It's so wonderful when we can so accurately predict someone's life trajectory from their prom behavior.
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TRUTH-A-RAMA! no, for serious. i have accu-forecasted the futures of bitches n such from their prom behavior. tis truth. lol. MK and the DL is a damn ORACLE OF TRUTH. WE'RE JUST A MEDIUM, HECK, A VEHICLE, TO CONVEY THAT TRUTH N SHIT UPON OPENING OUR EYES.
*clinks absinthe to all DL Sooth-Seers; double clinks to King Seer MichaelK*
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Ah, the girls of Ohio are so classy! The hair alone is worth our undying admiration - no chola babe could have done better.
You just know that in five years' time this girl will have three rug rats, a meth habit, be 100 pounds overweight and a drunk and live in a trailer on the outskirts of her town! It's so wonderful when we can so accurately predict someone's life trajectory from their prom behavior.
NONSTOP SLUTTERY LMAO WHY WAS SHE SPEWING BLOOD/ACLH/STUPIDITY? OH YEAH SHE WAS "smacking her forehead into the chair handle causing her nose to bleed." AND "began kicking, screaming, spitting and thrashing about." AND "let her legs go limp," AND ETC, SO FUCKING DUMBSHIT ON AND SO DUMBSHIT FORTH. LAUGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG MY ASS OFF.
j-halter did not learn about DEVOLUTION in her country-ass HS, now, did she? hAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
cant stop LMAO-ing thanks MK!!11!
HAHA
I bet her parents are so proud! :)
I would be surprised to know if she had any teeth left by the time she is 30. MK I hope you follow up on this one so we can see her toofless mouf in a few years. That bumpit wig will stand the test of time.
gee_gee you're from Lorain County? Ha! I'm from the Cuyahoga. Funny shit- back in my day we woulda fought with our Aqua Net and a lighter! Stabbed some bitches with our high ass bangs that were razor sharp from gel and hairspray.
I love her expression in this mugshot. It's like "yea- so what whores. So I'm in jail on prom night! Fuck you! It's my prom!"
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"Sarah Jessica Parker has the same exact cardigan as my abuelita. BITER!" -- MK
I'm so proud to be from the state of Ohio. LMFAO! This is some classic shit. She needs to be Hot Slut of the Year!
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"Sarah Jessica Parker has the same exact cardigan as my abuelita. BITER!" -- MK
It's a celebration, bitches!!! Enjoy yo self!!!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Damn! Guess who grew up in Lorain County? Yup. Your girl gee_gee. But I DO NOT KNOW THIS TRICK OR ANY OF HER PEOPLE. I disavow all knowledge.
Back in the day my crew would have at least brought a butterfly knife to the prom and pretended like we wanted to cut somebody. Yes, I am that old.
She is doing it wrong and clearly needs more people.
loving the hair...this chick deserves to be prom queen...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
When was the prom? 1986? She is all kina classy.
I live under a rock. I didn't even know you could get so drunk you could spit blood at people, lol. classic.
There are so many hilarious unanswered questions here.
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"Indeed, the first cause of human ignorance....is subjection to authority which does not merit it." Robert Grosseteste (d. 1253)
This bitch is my new hero!!
more fucked-up shit @
www.myspace.com/msdianadeath
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Damn, Michael K, my sides hurt because I'm laughing so hard.
You deserved that vacation because you are back and YOU ARE ON FIRE!!!!
And there is NO WAY that hooker is 18 years old. That is the oldest 18 I've seen in a long time. *LOL*
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You give him the bed sheet with your period stains on it and send him to sleep in the bath tub!- The Great Michael K, 5/14/2010
This bitch is 18? I can't believe it.
Submitted by NovaNightly on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 1:27pm.
I can see her bumpit under all that hair....surprised that it held up under all the ruckus she was causing.
Yeah...I said ruckus!! :-P
I have a friend who named her son Ruckus. He's really cute though and totally fits the name! He's a little rockstar athlete and he's 7 and wresles and went almost undefeated his first year wrestling! Creating quite a ruckus!
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 12:27pm.
Is that Melissa Joan Hart's long lost twin?
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You beat me to it.
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Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
Funny!! I used to live one town over from North Ridgeville, Ohio! Never thought to hear that po-dunkey town make news!!
She's a vulgar piece of shit for sure.
Mom and Dad must be so proud.
I blame Mtv's "My Super Sweet 16" for this type of behaviour.
The FCC should force Mtv to return to music videos. The world would be better off. No MSS16 or Jersey Shore. Our national IQ would show an immediate increase of one full standard deviation.
Hm, my prom is coming up soon.
I should definitely take some cues from this lady.
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Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Mon, 06/15/2009
It's like trying to put Herpes in its place, when you're syphilis.
damn she is beautiful even after a fight.
She's right though, she can get drunk it's her fucking prom!!!!!
Police and principle always want to fuck up one's high!
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
making mama proud
Good times!
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"You gonna give me my car, or do I gotta go to your house and shove your dog's head down the toilet?" Repo Man
She sounds like what tik-tok Kei$ha wishes she was, but she'd probably make K. cry in 2 minutes.
OMG, I laughed the whole way through MK's post on this one. What a hoot.
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looks like a vintage 1965 Raquel Welch wig to me.
They don't make that voluminous style anymore...unless it was tailored made by a professional drag queen.
Wig or not...she is TRASH and I hpe the diesel dyke sharing her cell tought her some manners before giving her something to eat.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QygiW1yGkOU&feature=related
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"If you want hair like that, you better hike up your Windsor Fashions gown and get ready to rumble. I bet that hair smells like Mike's Hard Lemonade, Sour Apple Schnapps, White Rain, blood, chicken parm and smashed carnations."
Pure poetry.
"You are fucking bitches! This is my prom!" is the "It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To" for the 21st century.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I can see her bumpit under all that hair....surprised that it held up under all the ruckus she was causing.
Yeah...I said ruckus!! :-P
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Fryman, fill your eyes...with....double vision!
HAHAHA!! My dad lives in North Ridgeville.
I'm 26 and I look younger than this trick.
Voted "Best head giver" by the football team.
This girl went to school with ALL of us! You remember her...she was the rich, bitchy, slutty, stuck up "mean girl." The one that dated the hottest guys in school and after she'd dump them for someone else, they'd still be considered hands-off to anyone else in school. She talked back to the teachers and got away with it because her daddy is rich. She's on the cheerleading team...probably the captain (or "head" cheerleader tee hee.) She's also the girl whose going to be looking for her deadbeat drunk of a husband at her 10 year reunion when she's knocked up for the 4th time ala Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion!
I hate this bitch!
Atleast she's got those Wonder Woman fringes to cover her headbutting bruise.
Why did shit like this never happen at my school dances?
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
All proms should be this fabulous! Love her.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
I must say - her hair looks pretty good considering...I want to see a pic of her before the chaos.
When was this pic taken? 1987?
Love. this. bitch.
dayum! What's this trick like on an average day? I'd whoop that trick if she were my offspring.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 12:47pm.
Happy Hour - tequilla makes me like that. Violent and mean as hell.
No other drugs required.
This is why Jose and I parted ways a loooooooooong time ago.
Nah, I just start laughing like an idiot. I am a happy drunk. If a fly passes by I will be laughing again like a moron...
Raul, this was my senior prom.
I didn't discover illicit drugs until after graduation.
Jazzy all I have is the "Prom picture" and it was an epic fail, as you can totally tell my boyfriend was holding my drunk ass up in it.
My parents were sooooooooooooooooooooo pleased.