This Is Why You Should Sleep With A Ho Before You Get Married
Kevin Jonas and his wife of 5 months Danielle are already sleeping in separate rooms like old people from the 1950s, and not because she's sick of the boys he brings home kicking her in the middle of the night. Apparently, Kevin's loud ass snoring keeps Danielle's ears twitching all night, so she has to sleep in the guest room.
A source tells InTouch, "Kevin and Danielle had never spent a night together until their wedding night, so she had no clue that he snores so loudly. She loves her husband, but now she sleeps in a guest room when he gets too noisy. They are still crazy about each other. But the snoring has become a big joke for their friends."
There's no need for Danielle to sleep in another room. Kevin's "snoring" is actually his throat wailing for a little peen and his nose howling for the sweet scent of a pair of musky balls. That's all! If Danielle wants to shut Kevin up, she just needs to shove a peencifier in his mouth. Then she can spoon with him all night long in silence. Marriage saved!
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IF he really is sleeping in a separate room b/c of the snoring, I'd gather he has sleep apnea. Thing is, someone would have already have pointed this out to him.
I think he's gay and won't admit it to himself or something. Looks gay and fug, actually, and the poor girl- she got hit by more than a few branches falling out of the ugly tree...
Not that I'm such a prize myself. But then I know that.
www.facebook.com/ebaron
The air is rife with the pungent smell of incest. Can't you smell it? Look at them!!!! Are they like kissin' cousins, or just flat out brother and sister?
Either way you spin it, these people are weird. I don't get it at all. The whole waiting until you're married and telling everyone all the details about your waiting and making it so much more important than it really is and not even spending the night in the same house or room until you said some words in a church is PREPOSTEROUS.
And I've never understood the snoring thing because I can sleep through anything. Everyone I've ever been around snores like crazy and it never wakes me up, just like telephones and alarm clocks and dynamite don't. Except the boyfriend, he doesn't snore because he doesn't actually sleep.
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Aint no cellphones in '69 man, I'm head to toe legit.
Homegirl's got a busted face
Snoring? That's just the sweet dulcet tones of after sexy times from someone who finally had their balls drained by someone other than their brothers.
*yawn*
I give them 2 years, tops.
I STILL can't tell which one is gay. If it were statistically possible, I'd say they all were. So I dunno.
Statistically, the youngest brother is more likely to be gay.
Oh and yes he is geigh.
He married Haylie Duff? When? I don't remember that.
Nevermind the separate beds and snoring (you know he is lousy in bed and that is why she sleeps elsewhere).
WHAT ABOUT HER BROWS?!?!?!? Why is there no discussion of the brows?
This couple grosses me the fuck out. The creepy closeted mama's boy and the wonky eyed Long Island nail technician. *shudder*
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764, in walking with my
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 9:23pm.
Pamela, a sleep walker's eyes are open and they can speak even though they sound very odd. They can't maneuver if their eyes are closed!
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LOL yeah I guess that makes sense dosent it? I have never seen anyone sleep with there eyes open, let alone walk around its quite a thing to see.
i see it, like haylie got one of her eyes lowered.
She really does look like a low-rent Haylie Duff.
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I put the F-U in Fun.
really? cos i would consider that jonas more fug.
eh. adult virgins. I suppose %s arent on their side.
Fug, thy name is Danielle.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I think he has enough money to find a cure for his snoring!! Sheesh!
That is funny that you say that Michael K, because I have always thought the Jonas brothers are all 100% GAY. So the first thing I thought when I saw the headline that they sleep in separate beds on another website is DUH.
yes it does lurker. You americans and yer sex obsessions and phobias.
It's really because she farts toxic gas in bed.
Eh, I don't buy this story. They might have been virgins, but they neeevvver spent a single night together? No movie nights, camping, etc?
just cause you sleep together don't mean ya gotta get it on. jees.
All I can think of when I see them is "Planet Haylie Duff" =))
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
Bye Nitty!
I heard that if you shove enough tar balls into someones mouth they stop snoring.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 11:15pm.
I heard that the Kardashians are preferred customers. Hahahaha...hahaha....ha
BP sucks!!
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Aymenz, Bruddah! Hope life's treatin' you and yours well. Mucho Smoochos to you and TV. Been away a while; Sick Mama :( Then I gotta' come back to this keerap in the gulf. I'm supposed to cry over some dude snoring..um..yah..lol..Headin' out..Last chirrun just came in. xoxoxo
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Satchels of Gold
She looks more Jewish than a Matza ball.
Submitted by lea8199 on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 10:25pm.
hehhhe i feel her pain.. but then i wouldnt think about sleeping on a dfferent room than my hubby... i got used to it.. i dont even hear his roars anymore..
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Reminds of a sign in a machines shop: "You don't get used to the noise, you go deaf".
Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 11:12pm.
Give us some real news; like these two hairballs are shaving off every ounce of their body fur for use in sopping up the Gulf Oil Spill.
I heard that the Kardashians are preferred customers. Hahahaha...hahaha....ha
BP sucks!!
Give us some real news; like these two hairballs are shaving off every ounce of their body fur for use in sopping up the Gulf Oil Spill.
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Satchels of Gold
A la Sante/ to health.
* I have an English keyboard so i can't be 100% grammatically correct in various languages.
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Submitted by Jana on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 10:58pm.
Join me in a French toast. Oui Oui to wee wee.
:0 Canadians are holding on,you really want the full story? You asked for it:
Carcillios et Hartnell devraient être en prison. Sont assez discipliner la, mais attend qu'ils tirs d'arrières. Pronger a encore quelques cellules dans le cerveau et y'en a une qui lui dit 'Hit'
pardon my French.
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Submitted by Jana on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 10:44pm.
Lovely Jana how are those hockey type people doing?
Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 10:36pm.
Go ahead, and leave a note for our curiosity.
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http://www.facebook.com/people/Jana-Stastny/636511281
Snideychick sez:
Melatonin and earplugs. Works against the worst snorers.
*wanders in*
*snores*
*shoots self*
hehhhe i feel her pain.. but then i wouldnt think about sleeping on a dfferent room than my hubby... i got used to it.. i dont even hear his roars anymore..
Hawks win. I'm a little melancholy, I hate Byfuglien....you know it Sushi! oh well, let's hold hands for the Eastern Conference Montreal Canadians.
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http://www.facebook.com/people/Jana-Stastny/636511281
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 9:39pm.
We'll totally understand if you hold a pillow over his face and press down with all your weight until the snoring stops, Danielle, and I'll give you 5 bucks if you do it until the breathing stops.
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Love Team Valtrex!
We'll totally understand if you hold a pillow over his face and press down with all your weight until the snoring stops, Danielle, and I'll give you 5 bucks if you do it until the breathing stops.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
seriously guys tune into the NHL playoff game now! It's gonna be an epic game.
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http://www.facebook.com/people/Jana-Stastny/636511281
Pamela, a sleep walker's eyes are open and they can speak even though they sound very odd. They can't maneuver if their eyes are closed!
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
On a lighter topic, Hawks just scored against the Sharks, by Sopel.
In Slovak ''Sopel'' means ''snot''. I prfer our ''Satan'' to that name. :)
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http://www.facebook.com/people/Jana-Stastny/636511281
There's that biting the lower lip trying to look sexy only you look gay thing again...why do men do that?! And why are her eyes so close together?!
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 9:07pm.
But when I was a kid! Damn, one time in summer camp a counselor caught me outside in my jammies on my way to the lake. I was seven.
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Same with my boy hes been doing it since he could walk. My husband always said he was sleep walking and I said no he was fooling around cause his eyes where wide open! He's seven now and its the first time he did something crazy like pee somewhere other then the toilet!
g'nite everyone. sleep tight, don't let the lips bite!
lets hope for a peaceful weekend.
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Pamela, I have done it since I could walk but I never did anything weird or destructive. Usually I'm checking under the bed and in the closets because I dream someone is in there.
But when I was a kid! Damn, one time in summer camp a counselor caught me outside in my jammies on my way to the lake. I was seven.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
it's fine...we're working on it...with my therapist on my off days.
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Submitted by Jana on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 9:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 8:58pm.
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yes, but usually it's nonsense. I do have murderous nightmares, painful tragedies, rapes...I often wake up hearing myself scream.
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Sounds like night terrors! Thats to bad! :(
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 8:59pm.
My sister is a big sleeptalker. Big time. I sleepwalk sometimes and I hate that because I kind of remember it the next day and it bothers me.
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Have you always been a sleepwalker since you where a kid? My son is a sleepwalker and I didn't believe it because his eyes where always open. Well I became a believer about a month ago when he opened the fridge and pissed in the veggie drawer. Wondering if he will grow out of that or what.
Submitted by Pamela on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 8:58pm.
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yes, but usually it's nonsense. I do have murderous nightmares, painful tragedies, rapes...I often wake up hearing myself scream.
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http://www.facebook.com/people/Jana-Stastny/636511281
@angel
wait, lmao, what was that about loholhaholhan in some pseudo movie-within-movie shit?! TELL, TELL PLS
i just let lohilhoohaahan know in 'her' thread, w/ a post, that i'll be waiting for her at LAX n shit. never forget.
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===