Fear Of The Baby Head

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She could have the baby through her giant nose.

Most people will be less scared to have a baby when they see it done with god doctors and everything goes smoothly. We you see how a good natural childbirth can be it takes away a lot of fears.

Submitted by 4lice4nn on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 11:18pm.
Dude... Wait, what? Does she really have herpes? Hahahaha.
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"Allegedly" that is why Chris Brown beat her up for giving him herpes, or so the story goes.

Dude... Wait, what? Does she really have herpes? Hahahaha.

Submitted by Happy Hour on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 12:14pm.
I had both and c- section is way worse than vaginal. I don't get why anybody will "select" one.
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I guess you did not have the celebrity c-section. I think that comes with a tummy tuck and major drugs.
My guess is Rhi Rhi will go that route. She probably has herpes and will have to anyway.

She looks like she's about to drop the kids off at the pool.

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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

I feel so sorry for the doctor, having to endure Rihanna's high-pitched, off-key, nasal honking and caterwauling as she goes through labor. Hopefully Rihanna opts for the ether, though if Lady Gaga goes natural, it's a given that Riahanna will follow [ugly cat]suite.

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Your air guitar is no match for my air quotes...

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She is always half dressed. She really thinks she is ALL THAT.

The real truth is this--RiRi knows that if she has a baby that her big thighs will be fatter than a Redwood tree and her herpes will infect her newborn's eyesight.

Let's be honest, you no talent, wanna be a porn star, asshag.

You know you want some of this, bitches!

sorry, but she looks like she's giving birth to a huge poo.

(sniff this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)

MK, OMG, the nurses, Tic Tac Toe, Jesus, you're killing me!

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"I can resist everything but temptation."

I felt no pain with either of my kids. They said we are shutting off your epi so u can feel the contractions so u can push. I was like oh hell to the no, I pushed both of them out at record speed. My boy 21 minutes my girl 3 pushs. I felt nothing. I was one of the lucky ones. They didnt screw up the epi which I have heard horror stories of them doing.

I want to be a mom someday but I wanna hire a surrogate. I don't wanna f*ck up my body, plus I saw my niece being born, which freaked me the heck out!

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"Tell them that their efforts have failed, because the big unicorn will fly high above the corn fields one day soon." -MK

She must have found out she can't ask a PA to deliver her babies! How shocking. BWAHAHAH

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Thinking you'll "never be the same" is just ignorance. You can be even better. After my second boy (at 9 pounds thirteen ounces) gave me a 3rd degree laceration, I was devastated. My first was 6.11, and everything had snapped back like nothing ever happened-i was 23. So at 28 I thought it was going to be like a garage door down there. Now I don't know if the doc who attended felt sorry for me, or if they just have the stitch better when layers of muscle are damaged, but to my shock, everything was perfect six weeks later. I could not believe it.
Now something that I was not prepared for-the horror of the c-section. Had an emergency one and no one ever told me how bad the recovery is. The constant soreness, the cut nerves, 14 months later it still feels weird. I think the celebs get the tuck immediately and get nice supplies of drugs. In my hospital you had to beg for Vicodin. That infuriated me. Every celeb has their own pharmacy but people in real pain have to stand on their heads to get a script. (Like I would ever take that shit for fun. I have a life and responsibilities. I don't WANT to feel drowsy.)
So my advice is, try to do natural, but get the epidural as soon as possible. There is no good reason for us to suffer so much. I love how the pharmaceuticals found a way to make old mens' dicks stand up, but can't take the pain out of childbirth without controversy.

Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 12:38pm.
HH yeah, with my last one, when the midwife broke my water his cord came gushing out.

LOL Oh Joy!

I think Rihanna enjoys the limelight too much to be a mom. But maybe she'll grow up?

I'll add my voice to the "No Effing Way Jose" chorus. But not just about the vagina-tearing delivery but to the whole shebang. There is nothing about pregnancy that appeals to me. Good thing I don't want any kiddies anyways!

Apparently, I went easy on my mom: I took only 4 hours to be born from start to finish, and I "shot out like a greased weasel." She never tires of saying that.

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I had a worm in my hair and I slept on the worm and then I found it in my soup and then I sat down on a hot piece of tin and then my skirt inched up and my panties got hot so I went in the freezer where I ate a big onion is that bad? doot-do-do-doo...

This bitch should NOT be reproducing, thank God she is scared and going to adopt.

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 1:03pm.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks: "Somebody tell her the delivery ain't the worst part...."

That's the TROOOF. I didn't have epidurals or tearing or anything and I don't even want to say what my vag was like for days after my first was born. I can't imagine what it would be like with tearing or an episiotomy.

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I had two episiotomies. OUCHIE, OUCHIE, FUCKING OUTCHIE. Like broken glass in the ladycave.

I hope for the same of humanitee, this idjit doesn't reproduce.

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"You, sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks: "Somebody tell her the delivery ain't the worst part...."

That's the TROOOF. I didn't have epidurals or tearing or anything and I don't even want to say what my vag was like for days after my first was born. I can't imagine what it would be like with tearing or an episiotomy.

Im gonna have to agree with RiRi im 25 and petrified to have a child come through my hooha ...... the thought of it makes me not even do the do without protection EVER i dont care how horny...

The guy who did the Epidural for me fucked up like three times. The big huge fat needle was never in the right place. He kept saying the next time would be the right one. I was so sad and in pain. My lower back was pissed off. A lot of things went wrong. My saturn must be in the child birth house or something. But my daughter was 100% gorgeous and healthy, so I rarely bitch about the huge mistakes made that day. She was all that mattered.

HH yeah, with my last one, when the midwife broke my water his cord came gushing out.
So I had a Dr jam her hand up me to keep the baby's head off the cord, they ran me and my bed into the ER, I had general anesthesia, and it probably took 5 minutes.
Really lucky he was OK.
In retrospect I can't believe they even induced me, he had been head-up, and manually turned, (a version? Can't remember) then a week later he went head-up again. He's still cantankerous like that.

Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 12:24pm.
I've had three deliveries, the first was a high-forceps after 14 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing, with a rip in the old vag and also an episiotomy. 2nd was all natural but had to have the snip agian, took 6 hours. Third was an emergency c-section. I'd take a sore belly over a sore bottom any day

I raise you to failed vacum after 16 hours of labor and 5 of pushing and ending up with an emergency c-section after all... with General anaesthesia

I have to agree here. The thought of pushing a child out of my hooha scares me to death. I don't know if I could ever do it.

Ok, ok!

I didn't believe a baby would fit through there until after it did. I was shocked! I had natural childbirth and the only thing that hurt, really was my fractured coccyx - but that didn't really hurt til later. I was so hopped up on the chemicals in my own body. I had a little tiny bit of tearing but it din't sting or anything. My doctor was a FUCKING ASSHOLE!(and not my real doctor - my doctor was away) and, to be quite honest if he's not dead by now I would love to go on holiday sometime just to torture him. I would LOVE to be assigned as his Karma. (*sigh* He's prolly dead) But if it wasn't for him my birth would have been pretty perfect.

♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs

Ras - yeah. After the bliss of the epidural with BIg D. I was all set to have one with Little prince, but the little shit came so quickly, I didn't even have a chance to ask for it.

*cries*

@ M.E.

I've had a natural childbirth and an epidural childbirth.
All I can say is:

TEAM EPIDURAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've had three deliveries, the first was a high-forceps after 14 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing, with a rip in the old vag and also an episiotomy. 2nd was all natural but had to have the snip agian, took 6 hours. Third was an emergency c-section. I'd take a sore belly over a sore bottom any day.

I pretty much hate when women bitch about this...there are plenty of people who want a baby (vaginal, c-section, stork, adoption) who cannot because of the physical stuff or money. Shut the fuck up if you are lucky enough to have children.

So what? So she's just like every other girl right before she starts to think about getting pregnant for real. Good for her. Did you just put this up there so you could post this pic of RiRi working real hard to push out that doodie bubble? Don't lie, now - I'll catch you!

♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs

She's so stupid and useless.

I had both and c- section is way worse than vaginal. I don't get why anybody will "select" one.

Submitted by Banana Jesus on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 11:56am.

".....everything is pink and tight"
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pics or your lyin....
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09

"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus

Or maybe I just won't have kids.
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He said 'I'm your lover
I'm your friend
I'm purity
Hit me again'

"The nurses would pull up a chair and play a game of Tic Tac Toe on baby's forehead while waiting for its eyes to show up."

You're the fucking greatest, MK!

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"Here comes the fiesta, bitch!"

Heck, I've did one natural and one via C-section. The Recovery from C-section is much more longer , more painful and all around sucks....would rather the babe take the chute route any day.
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lipoescultura | lipoaspiração | otoplastia | ginecomastia

Oh brother. That sound you just heard was Ashton Kucther throwing his binky against the walls of his nursery now that Shitney has surpassed him in Twitter followers.

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Even a small star shines in the darkness!

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this thread is not necessary! all these stories just made me close my legs for business. ahahahaha. FUCK THAT shit!! Ima be a virgin forever!!

Coma Caca!
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I never tore, nor did my doctor slice me from chocha to anus. So....no stitches or chocha healing time.

And after vaginal birth, there is no sex for 8 weeks. Even WITHOUT kegals, your chocha will return to normal, but kegals help speed it up.

Who gives a fuck at a rolling O!!!!

Why does she think anyone cares?

Im scared of childbirth too. Look at Kendra, she looks like a stretched out, worn down, tired version of herself after having that babe, plus it would suck if the father didn't stick around and you had to raise the babe on your own...

...and I threw you the obvious, just to see if there's more behind those eyes, of a fallen angel...

Submitted by NovaNightly on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 11:47am.
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I am terrified of needles and opted out of an epidural, initially with Big D. After 12 hours of horrid back labor and no dialation progression, and the IV drugs were making his heart rate drop into unsafe areas, so I finally said yes to the epidural and OMFG! I was soooooooooooooooooooo happy. Telling everyone how much I loved them. I felt absoutely NOTHING after that thing and had to watch the monitor to see when I was having contractions so I knew when to push. 1 1/2 hrs of pushing, I finally got my coneheaded baby.

Now, Little Prince? Well, I made my doctor break my water because I was OVER IT. I went from mild contractions and talking with everyone one second, to the next contraction dropped me to my knees, I stood up, yelled to the nurse that I thought I felt a head, she checked me, told me not to move, or push and one push later, he was there. 4 hours total of labor and no drugs cuz I didn't have time.

Recovery time aside, I'd rather get a c-section than go the chute route. I wouldn't want to spend all that time doing kegels and feeling insecure about my pikachu the next time I have sex. Drugs, c-section, tummy tuck please.
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He said 'I'm your lover
I'm your friend
I'm purity
Hit me again'

omg fok you guys, im not having a baby now either

Why do celebs give interviews about this crap? Cro-Magnon females were drawing on cave walls as they gave birth to their offspring. What is the statistic? Like three babies are born every 5 minutes in the world? Something like that.

Hey Rihanna! The birth is the least of your worries. After that, you have to focus your time on another human being, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Not a robot, not an adoring fan, an actual human. A human who will have its own concerns and wants. Getting outside your own needs will be the hard part.

Anyways, who cares.

Submitted by little_rascal on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 11:51am.
To prevent tears in the perineum area doctor performs an episiotomy. I've had it done twice, and yes it hurts a lot. Sitz-baths are a must.

I must have a cootch like a rubber band, because little one's head is the size of a Mellon, but I didn't need an episiotomy, and everything is pink and tight (sorry for the TMI) but when those shoulder blades were coming through, ouch! I wanted to be put out of my misery by any means necessary!!!!