Monday, June 14th 2010

Catherine Zeta-Jones Looks Different

I don't know whether it's the make-up, the tarantula leg lashes, the dates with Botox, the face pulls or all of the above, but Catherine Zeta-Jones is starting to look like Auntie Ying-Ying from The Joy Luck Club. Seriously, I want to play a game of Mahjong with her, and then get her to yell at my husband for making me pay for half of the ice cream even though I don't touch the stuff because I'm lactose intolerant.

You know, I don't even know why the perpetually 40-year-old CZJ fucks with her face the way she does. Bitch is married to a zombie pepaw, so even when her face starts to wrinkle up like a Shar-Pei's b-hole, she'll still look young next to his old ass. But I guess since she's injecting Botox into her birth certificate, she might as well prick her face with it too.

Here's CZJ bringing out the raw emotion during "Send in the Clowns" at the Tony Awards last night. She looks like a scared cat hiding under the bed during a thunder storm.


CZJ won Best Actress in a Musical for that mess. Here's a few pictures of the other winners from last night including ScarJo for Best Supporting Actress in a Play (I can't either), Denzel Washington for Best Actor in a Play, Viola Davis for Best Actress in a Play, and Douglas Hodge for Best Actor in a Musical.

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agirl's picture

In that big pic CZJ looks like she had her upper lip waxed right before the picture was taken. OUCH!

agirl's picture

You know what I just thought of re: CZJ? She's from Wales and they take singing VERY seriously there. They have choirs and big singing competitions and shit. You don't step on a stage and open your mouth there unless you BRING IT.

I can only imagine people in Wales watching that clip and saying (in a Welsh accent of course), "What the FUCKITY FUCK? Americans give AWARDS for this weak-ass shit?" That is, if Welsh people use phrases like "fuckity-fuck" and "weak-ass shit". If not, please replace them with the appropriate Welsh expressions, thankyouverymuch.

No wonder CZJ's parents looked so surprised and horrified when she won the Tony! They were probably trying to figure out how the hell they are going to 'splain that to the neighbors!

fruitloop's picture

She looks like she had an upper mouth wax gone wrong. Don't know why she would do anything to herself as she was a gorgeous woman.

Also how the hell did she win with that performance? Mickey D must have paid a helluva lot to get that Tony.

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"How can you trust someone with your full heart when they seem to be in love with the fact that they look like something out of The Hills Have Eyes."

Vintage MK.

Frybread's picture

CZJ looks like someone whose face was destroyed in a car wreck and was surgically put back together.

her acceptance speech showed just what a mediocre actress she really is. like these twats don't already know before hand that they've won. although, I did enjoy that joke she made about Michael Douglas still being a movie star that people would be lucky to fuck every night. sorry Cathy but nobody wants to imagine his veiny, grey thighs about to buckle, while he's pumping you full of more LOSER sperm dust [i.e. Cameron Douglas].

OVO-606's picture

I thought her reaction to winning the award looked SO exaggerated, almost faked.

TheBreakdown's picture

And I JUST read that CZJ has been cast in the forthcoming 'Cleopatra' movie.

I cannot disagree with their casting decision. She's a fit.

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boomsy's picture

I was thinking she looked a little "off" myself; just can't put my finger on what's different, however...

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norma_desmond's picture

I vote that it is a nose job. The end of her nose looks smaller to me.
check the old CZJ:
http://wallpaper.celebritypc.com/catherine_zeta_jones/catherine_zeta_jon...

MickeyHolland's picture

Besides Sinatra and Streisand no one should have ever touched this song. I'm no expert on English pronunciation, but why was she overdoing the British? I'd say that overall it was shockingly ridiculous: from her scary Botox-eyes with heavy make-up to her mannerism and horrendous singing. Indeed, don't bother because the clown is already here.

johnnysgirl's picture

BLEGH! I tried to watch it with sound this time and I only got halfway through. Dreadful!

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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK

copacabanagirl's picture

That was stilted and absolutely awful - I really didn't think this pretty little song could be transformed into a neurotic personal manifesto, but what do I know...

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCz0ZouYE0M

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justincase's picture

@ helenwaite ...Did someone mention the Tiger Lillies version of Send in the Clowns? They are the bomb. I saw them live with Holy Body Tattoo in a dance performance called Circa almost ten years ago. I am a fan forever.

justincase's picture

She was so pretty in The Darling Buds of May but I could always see the bitch beneath the surface. I wondered why she married Michael Douglas and by the look on his face it was so he would do expensive things like buy her a Tony award.

I sing in a choir and not as a soloist and yet I reckon I could do more justice to that poor song. She is without breath control, timing, pitch, or even the remotest sense of dynamics and so stiff you'd think she got a dose of body botox.

I've never vented about CZJ before and never will again but this spectacle within the greater "Hollywood Takes Broadway" theme is as overdone as her face (that shade of blue eyeshadow with her brown eyes is weird and the lashes look to be alive and crawling off her face).

islandgirl's picture

I knew that you would. :))

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I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 9:36pm.

I LOVE it!!!!!!!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."

Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 6:21pm.
Yeah, but do they have to pretend the Hwood stars are better than the REAL Broadway actors?

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

islandgirl's picture

DQ, the first time I saw her was in "The Darling Buds of May", and I thought she was gorgeous then.

Have you seen this? Too funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Nca7BuzpgY

Edit: Back at you, you hot beyotch! :)

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I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

PS IG, I love you! That is all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."

Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 9:22pm.

You know, the 1st time I saw her was in that Zorro movie w/ Antonio Banderas & Anthony Hopkins. She was so beautiful & fresh-faced. What a fucking joke.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."

islandgirl's picture

Haha, DQ, Carol Burnett as Norma Desmond got nothin' on her! And what's up with the head rolls? Reminds me of one of those toy dog things we used to put on the dashboard of my Dad's 1978 Dodge Dart.

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I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Submitted by julesinSD on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 9:07pm.
I'm usually the Broadway/musical theatre champion, but damn, you're right. & when she does that bug-eyed thing, she's ready for her close-up, Mr. DeMille!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."

julesinSD's picture

My God does that performance suck donkey Dick.

Needles in the eyeball would be far easier.

Retire to Morocco with your fucking old Douglas Pee Paw and quit fucking bugging us - you're old and your hollywood career is over - unless you're OK with playing a Mom or a Grandma.

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Save the Males.

shandiRW's picture

<--is lactose intoletant too! i say it's the bangs that make K.Z.J. look different! SHE BANGS

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just passing through's picture

CZJ is not white i don't care what anyone says.

sarabod's picture

I think she's lookin' a little Devil in Miss Jones...

http://blahblahblahscience.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/the-devil-in-m...

Datura's picture

That video was ridiculous. Her voice is good (I've got a high tolerance threshold for musical theater style cheese), but goddamn. She was giving ME whiplash watching her neck jerk like that.

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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

Kandykane's picture

Holy g*d. All that money (I assume) and stylists (I further assume) and CZJ looks like THAT? I wouldn't have known it was her if I hadn't been told. What's with the fake welsh accent all of a sudden? Or was that always there? It's been so long I don't remember.

Kerfuffles's picture

I'm going to say new nose.

SpiceDong's picture

It is common knowledge that Bway recruits big name Hollywood actors to sell tickets...more talented yet unknown actors can't pull the crowds. They don't call it show BUSINESS for nothing!

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johnnysgirl's picture

Submitted by helenwaite on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 5:50pm.

If you aren't familiar with TTLs, they are really not to everyone's liking, to say the least! They are sort of Edward Gorey+Cabaret+Syphilitic Castrati+Tom Waits+Brecht+Surrealism+etc.
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I adore the Tiger Lillies! And yep - your description is right on (tho I would add a dash of buggery and a pinch of sodomy ;)

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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK

CZJ walked up to the podium hunched over like an 80 year old. Her terrible posture really bothered me. If you're going to be a movie star then carry yourself like one for fuck's sake.

SpiceDong's picture

CZJ doesn't look like the sexy spitfire from the Zorro movies and Chicago no more. SAD. Perhaps the saying is true...if you sleep with old people, sooner or later you start to look like them.

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"Chupa mi pinga"
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

Snideychick sez:

Enough with the drag queen makeup!

I really hate the tarantula leg eyelashes, shitty overdone eyeshadow/eyeliner and lips that look like patent leather (thankfully CZJ doesn't have that on her face!)! BLECH!!!

I really want to see women who look like nicely made up women, not charicatures.

Albatross's picture

Damn, that was...ungood. I love that song, but that version was fucking awful!

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"No-rhythm having Bucked-tooth hillbillies should not be trying to bring the sexy."--parkerj, 6/4/10

joanne's picture

She has the joker smile. Why do they do this to themselves? Hollyweird needs new blood, not these plastic people.

Whatever's picture

Bad facelift and nose job? She can't sing very well btw.

BarbadoSlim's picture

Bitch done gone and fucked-up her face.

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Sayonara's picture

Hip Hip Hooray for Ms. Viola Davis!

The Fearless Four Are Rockin' It...

helenwaite's picture

@P.T.Bull: I agree with you about what I always have called "that hideous fcking Send in the Clowns piece of sh-t". However, I saw The Tiger Lillies perform it once (got the CD and have since seen them do it a couple more times) and it was so crazy, weird and different that I was killed in a good way. If you aren't familiar with TTLs, they are really not to everyone's liking, to say the least! They are sort of Edward Gorey+Cabaret+Syphilitic Castrati+Tom Waits+Brecht+Surrealism+etc.

Recently, I saw a clip on YooToobz of Dame Judi Dench performing . I finally "got".

CZJ is a shiddeous cow. That was the best Tony money could buy.

snark is good.

I heart Natalie's picture

Scarlett Johansson... so pretty

I like to think she dresses Ryan Reynolds up in makeup and pretty little dresses just for fun

Madam Pince's picture

One of my biggest peeves is when singing bitches don't keep time with the music.

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Infamous's picture

CZJ is on that crack.
WTF happened to Scarlett's boobs?!

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RoadDogXXIV's picture

Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 2:53pm.

As is ScarJo, a woman who is so facile and talentless that she is little more than a parasite that depends on a pair of tits for sustenance.

Awful, horrible woman. Now that she is a serious theatre actor (sperm connoisseur), hopefully she'll have a Phantom of the Opera style accident sooner rather than later.

She's not better than Penis Hilton and the rest of her ilk.

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I think Megan Fox is trolling the boards around here. Nonetheless, not a fan of Scarlet Johannson, even if she jumped on the comic book bandwagon and started reading comics. She's nothing more than uptight snob. Amber Heard is better looking and has better-shaped boobs.

I think it's true that she knocked a few years off her age. It worked for a while but now it looks weird. She looks closer to 50 than 40. Her whole body and all over skin tone is not that of a 40 year old. IMO

chaka1's picture

Hollywood has taken over Broadway.

Oh well, this might be a reason to go.