More Like Big Melted Butter Jesus
JESUS IS ON FIRE! Or Jesus WAS on fire, and now he's nothing more than a steel frame. Late last night, God and Jeebus must have had a serious fight up in heaven after watching The Real Housewives of NYC Reunion (God is Team Bethenny, Jesus is Team Jill), because the former sharpened his lightning rod and threw it directly at the giant Big Butter Jesus (aka Touchdown Jesus) statue outside of the Solid Rock Church in Monroe, Ohio. The 62-foot-tall statue caught on fire and that shit burned to the ground.
The giant beacon of exquisite tackiness was built in 2004. It was made of plastic form and fiberglass, just like Heidi Montag so that bitch better stop namedropping God on her Twitter. God is never the one.
No injuries were reported, and I'm sure a new one made out of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter will rise in 3 days.
Here's a video of flaming Jesus. If you squint your eyes, you can almost see Paula Deen running towards it with a giant wheelbarrow.
(Thanks Jill)
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Submitted by shandi on Tue, 06/15/2010 - 5:58pm.
Is this Butler, Greene, or Jackson county? Apparently Ohio has three cities named Monroe, which I think is pretty dumb.
It's Butler County, about 20 miles north of Cincinnati.
Giving Solid Rock Church the "What the hell did you do???" side eye.
But, aren't you NOT supposed to make unto thee any graven images? Like, isn't the visage of God or Jesus not to be depicted? Been wondering a while how so many Christians justify depicting Him when He said don't. Hmmmmmmmmmm....
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Is this Butler, Greene, or Jackson county? Apparently Ohio has three cities named Monroe, which I think is pretty dumb.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I've never heard of it until now, but I gotta say, that thing looked scary! Maybe it is best it is gone. It sounds like a lot of people didn't like it. I would think it would frighten little kids. Gotta look up where Monroe, Ohio is now.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Tue, 06/15/2010 - 1:44pm.
Second commandment: "Do not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above..."
There cannot be any question that this means most specifically you do not have to build a fucking King Kong size statue made of fucking plastic. For the Lord himself shall come down and kick your blasphemic ass.
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And thus was brought forth the largest of LOLz!
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"O - and stop writing mean comments on his YouTube page.
He doesn't like it." ~Daniel Tosh - he's back, babay!
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
I live near the "Big Butter Jesus" and I must say I was not unhappy to hear that it was gone. The first time I saw that tacky thing I almost ran off the road!! I'm so glad my church doesn't have this tackiness out front. I would be too embarrased to be seen going to a chuch that would have something so tacky!!
Their NEON sign out front now says "He'll Be Back"
I think they should take the insurance money and help the people in the area who have lost jobs etc. instead of rebuilding this mess!!
JESUS did not want to be the butt of a joke anymore so he took action last night to get rid of the "Big Butter" Jesus by striking it with lightening...
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The key to true happiness in life is lots of small gifts!!
MsBabyDoll
Right near where I live! Everyone here hates that monstrosity, and yes it is always refered to as 'touchdown' or 'big butter' jesus. the church is evangelicals, and it's said there is a slimey element involved there financially.
My feeling is, poor Jesus was just tired of everyone laughing at him and he brought the ever-loving lightening down upon himself.
Second commandment: "Do not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above..."
There cannot be any question that this means most specifically you do not have to build a fucking King Kong size statue made of fucking plastic. For the Lord himself shall come down and kick your blasphemic ass.
--
Stupid is who stupid does
aaaaand, I'll believe Jesus is behind this when all the cars with Jesusfish on them simultaneously combust.
I'm perpetual instigator because I found myself hoping that this had happened right before Ramadan.
Jesus? All I see is a white Cheeto®
Thank you MK for my first laugh out loud of the day.
When did Christ become a flamer?
**Shakes head**
**Laughs again**
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Still sober...
That's sad...
"It was made of plastic form and fiberglass, just like Heidi Montag so that bitch better stop namedropping God on her Twitter." OMG, that was too funny.
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They should've put a machine gun in his hands. Instead of sending the sinners to hell he could just shoot them all. Same shit.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
Maybe Jesus would have preferred to be depicted walking on water, rather than looking like he was sitting in it with bathtub fart geysers surrounding him.
I don't know, but if I believed in a god and jesus I'd hope they'd send a message that their followers should spend more money on the poor and homeless and less on ostentation. I get a little huffy every time I pass the Six Flags Over Jesus church in my little neighborhood.
LOL! How ironic is that? Lightning destroying a tacky statue! God is not impressed!
I used to work with this really uptight evangelical guy and we would frequently head south for work on I-75 and pass that statue. As soon as we were within sight of it he'd stare intently at it. One time he was driving and I was reading a book and I suddenly had this feeling we were drifting off the road, I looked up to see the car headed for the ditch and him with his head turned 90 degrees staring at this thing.
I kvetched and yelled "Jesus Christ keep your eyes on the road!!!!" The irony was palatable.
HAHAH YESSSS. Too bad they are rebuilding, I was happy I didnt have to pass it everytime I went to the airport.
lmao @ touchdown jesus!
Whoever just mentioned "The Legend of Billie Jean" and "Invincible".......I want to have your babies STAT.
Best.Comment.Ever.
This is the tackiest shit I have seen in a hot minute!
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Submitted by No Words on Tue, 06/15/2010 - 9:26am.
Evil Cuppy...I think there are tasteful religious statues and then there are tacky, horrible effigies. This is the epitome of tacky. It DOES look like Poisedon coming out of the water.
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Hi No Words!
I get what everyone is saying, and I just brought up that there are large sculptures/statues that are not tacky.
I still am of the mind though, I like nothing destroyed that has Jesus on it, tacky or not.
I am not a religious freak, I just have some things I make fun of, and some things I avoid.
Again, propr to your comments last night. I laughed! The whole thing is insane.
Okay, must work or get fired.
Maybe see you tonight.
EDITED: PROPS, NOT PROPR.
Definitely one of my favorite quotes ever. MK, you should have a big butter statue made in your likeness. I have found, in living my ife, that God is definitely not ever the one.
Submitted by CollinK on Tue, 06/15/2010 - 9:10am.
I don't know why I'm flashing on that 80s classic "The Legend of Billie jean," but while I was watching the Jesus burn I turned off the sound and started singing Pat Benatar's "Invincible."
OMG, yes!!! I love that movie. LMAO
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"No-rhythm having Bucked-tooth hillbillies should not be trying to bring the sexy."--parkerj, 6/4/10
@Evil Cupcake: Nope - that one's not tacky.
Look what happens to Christ the Redeemer when he gets hit by lightning:
http://fratres.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/christuppa1202_800x617.jpg
♥ Threadkilla!
"O - and stop writing mean comments on his YouTube page.
He doesn't like it." ~Daniel Tosh - he's back, babay!
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Evil Cuppy...I think there are tasteful religious statues and then there are tacky, horrible effigies. This is the epitome of tacky. It DOES look like Poisedon coming out of the water.
Submitted by No Words on Tue, 06/15/2010 - 8:38am.
That "statue" is unbelievably tacky. Too bad they are going to replace it.
Nothing more needs to be said.
Submitted by vader917 on Tue, 06/15/2010 - 9:03am.
I believe in God, but this is just tacky! Why do some people feel the need display their love Jesus in such a giant way?
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So the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio is tacky?
All kinds of hell no. I'd be mad, too, if some idiots put up a tacky ass statue of me. Someone finally told Jeebus what they'd done, and he said hell no. My statue-you're doing it wrong.
Jeebus needs a real artist doing that shit. Maybe that idiot drunk driver Thomas Kinkade can fit him in - oh wait - he only does villages & churches, but no people so no Jeebus, Daaaannngg.
I'd like to see how some of these whack jobs (you know the ones that said Haiti deserved the earthquake) explain this.
I'm horrible. Everything about this story is funny to me. Who builds a tall statue out of such flammable materials?
I do feel sorry for the church, but they're lucky that the whole building didn't catch fire from the statue.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
I don't know why I'm flashing on that 80s classic "The Legend of Billie jean," but while I was watching the Jesus burn I turned off the sound and started singing Pat Benatar's "Invincible."
FAIR IS FAIR!
Hey, MK, about Billie Jean as Hot Slut of the Day? Or Pat?
So, ain't it Christians always telling me not to take the Lord's name in vain? But you better believe I never preface the names of MY spiritual leaders/Gods with "Touchdown" or "Big Butter" cuz, fuck me if I'm wrong, but that sounds rude.
♥ Threadkilla!
"O - and stop writing mean comments on his YouTube page.
He doesn't like it." ~Daniel Tosh - he's back, babay!
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Burning Man!
♥ Threadkilla!
"O - and stop writing mean comments on his YouTube page.
He doesn't like it." ~Daniel Tosh - he's back, babay!
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
I believe in God, but this is just tacky! Why do some people feel the need display their love Jesus in such a giant way? I thought this looked like Poseidon since it could be viewed as though the figure is coming out of the water.
Yay! Thanks for posting this MK! I knew it would melt your no-heart.
:)
That was God's way of letting everyone know he thought the statue looked more like Poseidon than Jesus. That God character, harsh critic if there ever was one...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCz0ZouYE0M
"True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one."
~La Rochefoucauld~
Raul likes his homosexuals flaming but not Jeebus. *********************************************************************************************** Love me some chicken! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcOWmjSBlg
This statute shows how much faith and love they have for God, I mean obviously ...right?
OH FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know this is OT and I'm sorry but Gloria Allred has just been hired by that moron in New York who claims she was fired for being too sexy. How low will Allred stoop?????
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Big Butter Jesus! Touchdown Jesus! Thanks for my first real laugh of the day, MK!
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"No-rhythm having Bucked-tooth hillbillies should not be trying to bring the sexy."--parkerj, 6/4/10
Wait wtf was that music in the video?No explanation. Also... the after picture... creepy.
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Is the church poor? Is that why they only cast it from the waist up?
I'm surprised that wall-eyed Housewife from New Jersey didn't order one for her yard. Oh wait, she can't. She only makes $79,000 per year.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Can we get an order of giant biscuits to go with this, Paula?? Thanks so much!
Somehow, I feel this will be seen not as a divine act but a sinister one. Instead of just nature doing what it does...
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
"You're disssthphicable!!!!!"
wow. that's epic.
(okay. I giggled at Touchdown Jesus. I am so going to hell. save me a seat)
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You're my wife now Dave !
That "statue" is unbelievably tacky. Too bad they are going to replace it.
That thing skeers me.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/