Jeremy London Was Kidnapped By The Most Polite Crackheads In Palm Springs
Jeremy London's remake of that Six Feet Under episode where David Fisher gets kidnapped and is forced to smoke crack just got a rewrite! The only way this saga could get more unbelievable is if it turns out Jeremy London is telling the truth! In case a gun-toting crackhead kidnapped you and forced you smoke to the bad shit so you could forget all about this story, let me drop it in your brain again.
Jeremy London of Party of Five told Palm Springs police that two men he thought were going to help him change a flat tire ended up pulling a gun on his ass and forced him into his own car. Jeremy says that they drove him around and forced him to smoke crack. They apparently also made him buy and hand out booze in "gang areas" of Palm Springs. Jeremy later escaped. One of Jeremy's alleged kidnappers, Brandon Adams, was later arrested and charged with hood rad stuff in the first degree. Brandon pleaded not guilty. Well, today's twist involves Jeremy's wife....
Apparently, Jeremy's wife Melissa Cunningham was also kidnapped! Radar Online says that Melissa was with Jeremy when he got a flat tire. A source says that Melissa begged the kidnappers to let her go and she started crying. Since the kidnappers are obviously the second coming of Mother Theresa they drove her the fuck home and let her go but they kept Jeremy! Yes, just like that.
Let me guess, the kidnappers also opened the door for her and walked her inside. Then they made her a cup of chamomile tea, brushed her hair and massaged her wrists with lavender oil until she calmed down. Then they politely wrote their full names on a piece of rose-scented stationary and handed it to Melissa along with a telephone so she could call the police after they left. I mean, Jeremy is really waving a pinky finger in our faces and telling us it's a 9-inch dick.
And just like Jeremy, Melissa also has a bad history with drugs. Both Melissa and Jeremy have to go through random drug tests because of the custody issue involving their 3-year-old son Lyrik. Lyrik is currently staying with Melissa's mother.
So not only are Jeremy's kidnappers nice enough to share their crack, but they also took pity on one of their captors and drove her home. Fuck prison time. Give them a Noble Peace Prize.
Part of me thinks this is all part of Jeremy's master plan. Jeremy is telling these tall tales of fuckery so that truTV can turn his ordeal into a movie, which means he can play himself, which means he'll actually get a check. Survey says that Jeremy is doing a good job in making that happen.


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Jeremy London is the guy who was hot in high school, and has lost the hot and the relevancy over the years, yet shows up to the reunion thinking he's still the one
I´m sick of this jeremy bitch,, please don´t post anything else... It´s bo bo bo ooring!!
His web of lies is like that of a toddler who gets caught red-handed with the entire package of Oreos concealed beneath his sweater, and says that a band of cruel ghosts threatened to break his toys if he didn't get cookies for them... So mom says, "Show me the ghost thieves, honey..." And so he takes her to the linen closet and points the finger at a variety of sheets, from flower-print to solid colors, thereby proving that a liar doesn't necessarily have to be a racist.
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Your air guitar is no match for my air quotes...
http://www.facebook.com/people/Albert-Kai-Lu/1822227818
"Then they made her a cup of chamomile tea, brushed her hair and massaged her wrists with lavender oil..."
Brilliant.
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Jeremy don't piss on our feet and tell us it's raining! I can appreciate the level of ridiculousness this has gotten to...bravo!
It's TRUE! They WERE kidnapped! By the 1970s!!
Submitted by Madam Pince on Sat, 06/19/2010 - 10:14pm.
That chick is really ugly. Sorry, but I must tell the truth.
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AGREED!!!!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
He's teaching Lilo so many new tricks!
Submitted by dolly on Sun, 06/20/2010 - 12:57am.
Just read a comment, yes it was his brother Jason in that movie. Where is he?
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They're identical twins, so no one can really blame you for the mix-up.
Both looking rough now and they aren't even 40 yet. They were the hotness back in the day.
Who the hell are they and why should we care?
Imagine if his story were actually true???
Scary, huh??
Party of fucked-UP. Their poor kid.
Submitted by harveyprice: "...They both look like two peope you might see on the riverboat casino eating in the restaurant acting like they're at a five star dining establishment."
Where have you been hiding yourself, harveyprice? I look forward to more goodness from YOU.
Is that Lyrik's placenta around her neck?
Crack killed Applejack, LMFAO. These two need to be charged with making a false report and their escort through crack-ville should testify against them for a reduced sentence.
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Melissa is one of Carmen Electra's besties
Why doesn't anyone kidnap me and make me smoke crack. WHY?
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
HER FACE!
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
Rule #1 of crackology:
Crackheads lie.
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Just read a comment, yes it was his brother Jason in that movie. Where is he?
When I see him, I just think of Dazed and Confused and how young and cute he was and full of promise....
Eat your heart out, Walt Disney Animation Studios. This makes The Princess and the Frog seem like a real-life story.
Yowza, send that one back to the trailer park in 1986 and/or Whitesnake video audition from where she crept.
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Beauty's only a light switch away.
In a twisted away these 2 look like he's Lindsay and she's Dina. Do you see it? Creepy isn't it?
It was Jason who was in Dazed and Confused and that Aerosmith video. Not this guy. He was always slighty fatter than his brother.
Sad. So I guess they relapsed and knew they would fail their drug test so they came up with this crackie tale to get out of trouble. Their poor kid.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
That chick is really ugly. Sorry, but I must tell the truth.
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"Now is not the time for your judgments when we're about to be impaled by raw vegetables."
It's like his character from Dazed and Confused, all growed up. Kind of. He really is a better actor than that, come on. Crack is whack, Jeremy.
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"Regular people pay for birthday cakes, you idiotic pig with the self-entitlement of a billion Kanyes." -MK
Submitted by Infamous on Sat, 06/19/2010 - 9:33pm.
who the hell is Jeremy London?
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
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Infamous? Really? Look it up you dumb twat. You are infamous for nothing, and your links show how fat and stupid your dumb ass is. Bravo, shitbag@!@@@
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
who the hell is Jeremy London?
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Uhh.. how the f*** do you get so bloated in the face without gaining 100 pounds? I hate to admit my naivete, but it can't be alcohol. That makes you fat in several places. What the f* kind of drug makes your face bloat out?
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
His wife looks like a Cyrus family member.
It's gonna be funny when Jeremy loses the role of playing himself to his twin brother in the Lifetime adaptation of this fuckery.
Why is the story about this nobody all over the internet?
Maybe they did drive her home at some point, probably because she was being a real big pain the ass and crying or complaining or both. This whole bullshit story is like something a 10yo would make up. Embarrassing ...
So they drove the wife home and never robbed the house? So these people were willing to kidnap and do drugs, but were not interested in anything inside the home.
crackhead shenanigans
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conscience off...dick on...
That woman looks like she contracted the Cyrus Virus. Poor thing.
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"We're all puppets, Laurie. I'm just a puppet who can see the strings."
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Submitted by salacious on Sat, 06/19/2010 - 8:38pm.
Submitted by caprica six on Sat, 06/19/2010 - 8:26pm.
the fk's going on w/ Jeremy?! extreme insanity much? is this the new black - going batshit w/ ready-to-wear insane stories?
hollyweird has hit a new prostitution high. speaking of high, was Jeremy able to escape AFTER the crack wore off, or before? a collaborative hijacking. he gets points for inventiveness.
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Capri, my favorite batshit crazy story continues to be Celestia (Anne Heche)'s close encounter of the crackie kind. I don't think anybody's topped that yet.
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oMg LMAO what a throw-back. 100% that celestia *can't stop laughing* crazazy was, wow, just beyond. the second might be a bald, mad-hatter BritBrit with the broken umbrella LLMMMAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFK! you guys are the best!
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Submitted by caprica six on Sat, 06/19/2010 - 8:26pm.
the fk's going on w/ Jeremy?! extreme insanity much? is this the new black - going batshit w/ ready-to-wear insane stories?
hollyweird has hit a new prostitution high. speaking of high, was Jeremy able to escape AFTER the crack wore off, or before? a collaborative hijacking. he gets points for inventiveness.
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Capri, my favorite batshit crazy story continues to be Celestia (Anne Heche)'s close encounter of the crackie kind. I don't think anybody's topped that yet.
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"I want to give you a hand job with my mouth" - Korean Abdul-Jabbar.
So this whole BS story is just to explain away a bad drug test?
the fk's going on w/ Jeremy?! extreme insanity much? is this the new black - going batshit w/ ready-to-wear insane stories?
hollyweird has hit a new prostitution high. speaking of high, was Jeremy able to escape AFTER the crack wore off, or before? a collaborative hijacking. he gets points for inventiveness.
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
... speaking of the Blohans, dude's wifey looks like White O's more dehydrated long-lost snort sister.
...yeah, thanks, i prefer this thread to the prior one, too bad there's no OP on weekends, I'd give 'em a piece. ;)
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In night time we succeed - Hello Kitty
Submitted by htowngreen on Sat, 06/19/2010 - 7:32pm.
Is it just me or does that woman look like the meth-head squid in Squidbillies?
LOL! Squidbillies reference!