Helen Mirren's Chichis! Why Not, Right?
*Images removed per request. Boooo*
Above is a picture of Helen Mirren from New York Magazine looking like she got caught going pee pee in the tub. It's like her urethra is sending her brain a message like, "I'm not dooooone." And after the jump below is a picture of a topless Helen Mirren in the tub. But before we go there, let's read some quotes from Helen about her new movie Love Ranch (where she plays the madam of a pussy peddling emporium) and other things.
If you look at Helen's nipples without reading the quotes, everyone can point at you and call you a PERVY PERV. But if you read the quotes first, you get college credit. Or something like that:
Helen on wanting to be a bad bad girl: “I’m a would-be rebel—the good girl who’d like to be a bad one. It’s true! I haven’t grown out of that, have I? I’m still the good girl who wants to be a bad girl. But I’ll never make it as a bad girl … I’m not a prude or a moralist and I never have been, but I’m too fearful, too much of a wimp, really."Helen on what she said when the director of the movie (who is also her husband) asked her to spend the night in a brothel: “I said, ‘Read my lips: I’m not going to spend a night in a brothel.’"
Helen on what she learned after she gave in and spent the night in a brothel: “It’s amazing how quickly you get into dildos everywhere and pink-feather handcuffs. Within an hour you’re completely used to it.”
Helen on psychotic whores: “Susan Austin [the Mustang Ranch’s real madam] said you had to be tough, because maybe you do have 25 psychotic whores. A lot of them come from very dysfunctional backgrounds, and women together like that can be very dangerous.”
Helen on female celebrities bringing ho shit to the forefront: “I’m thrilled young girls are claiming their sexuality for themselves. I love bold women: Madonna and Scarlett Johansson—sexy and gorgeous, but not only that. And Miley Cyrus—fantastic! And Lady Gaga. I love the way she’s elevated pop to performance art, or dragged performance art down to pop, or maybe made a wonderful amalgam of the two.”
I'm going to wash out the thought that Helen Mirren thinks Miley Cyrus and Lady Caca are "fantastic" with her nipple-infused bath water. After the jump is the NSFW of Helen Mirren in the tub. Since we usually only see 20-something titties around here, it's nice to finally look at some well-seasoned chichis. Chichis who have seen some shit! Chichis who can write their own memoirs! Anyways, enough of my rambling.
UPDATE: I had to close the bathroom door on Helen Mirren's chichis, but you can click here to see her.
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Helen Mirren is hot as hell!
I like this shoot. Wrinkles and all, she is still one sexy woman.
I just wish she wasn't cowering in the first one...she should just be lounging out and enjoying!
She supposedly had the best tits in the business when she was younger and not much has changed.
She never had kids, so I assume they are natural and just getting a little "lift" by the water.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
This just proves that Dame Judi Dench is the superior one. Not bad. Russian women tend to be hot in their youth and grow beards in their old age.
Maybe you'll find happiness in your sight shopping heaven and earth
You'll find our price is more suitable for you. Your presence is our greatest pleasure.
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Old, young, I don't care but can people stop being naked everywhere? It's not artsy, it's just a call for attention.
She is one hot-ass bitch.
Neither one of those pictures are particular sexy, especially the first one. It looks like she's been drinking "hot chocolate" in her bathtub. I hate that two-handed mug-holding "soothing" look people have in commercials like that--for some reason it makes me want to barf. Why hold a cup with two hands? I digress.
Anyway, "for her age," her arms look better than her boobs.
And since when is Scarlett Johanssen "bold"?
Those breasts are gorgeous and if I were her age I would be showing my tits, too.
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"Sarah Jessica Parker has the same exact cardigan as my abuelita. BITER!" -- MK
where is the dignity in being an old whore?, yes missmirren you are an old whore, why do so many people think that a change oflocation makes nudity less slutty, she is still an old woman showing her breasts to the world. it is still slutty.
Submitted by justincase on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 2:26pm.
That's because superficial, vapid, Hollywood as we know it is dying. It is supposedly an antiestablishment bastion, a siren for "arteests." Balls. It's an advertising arm for the corporations and long has been. People don't need Hollywood anymore to bring depth and meaning and escape. Hollywood is in the age of decline. It must change or die. It used to produce Hitchcock. Now it brings us Twit/Twat. Talk about pathetic.
I will know the playing field is level when I read Dustin Hoffman dishing about how he knows he should be a good boy but wants to be a bad boy and is doing this interview to get our approval.
I think we need to look at her comments on Miley/CaCa from her perspective of age. She is 2-3 times older than many readers here. So, when she was 18-22, how many Madonna's/CaCa's were there? Hmm, let's think.....right, None. So her opinions stem from her memories of her childhood....of women so repressed they spent four hours a day just getting the rod stuck up their ass in just the perfect way. Older people are under valued because younger people just can't relate backwards, either. Name one person on this blog who could survive and thrive without a cell phone. See? It goes both ways.
The choices she made were hers and for her career. The choices CaCa, Vadge, and Miley make are for their careers. If anything they do more damage to the self-perceptions ordinary girls and woman than good. And what is with an over 60 woman referring to herself as a girl? Hollywood sure does a number on people's heads, even the so-called smart and strong.
She looks cold in the first photo. The second is much better.
Her comments on Miley: I disagree. That's the most I'm gonna argue with Helen Mirren.
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"Now is not the time for your judgments when we're about to be impaled by raw vegetables."
Ewwwww... dirty bath water
I'm sure it was done that way for artistic merit, but the cloudy water is nasty... a few strategically placed bubbles would have done the trick...
and why does she look so scared in the first picture???
How has Scarlett Johanson claimed her sexuality for herself??? Wearing pretty dresses isn't exactly sexual... In interviews, she talks about her love of baking, not her love of f*cking... She constantly gives off that pretty but frigid vibe... marrying the obviously homosexual Ryan Reynolds kind of confirms that for me... I still love her, though
Miley Cyrus, fantastic??? not anymore... just some old lady name dropping... who else was she going to mention???
I think posing nude for the sake of posing nude is pointless... this was a big waste of time
I can NEVER stand it when Helen speaks. She always comes across as an idiot, which is a shame.
Shadowboxer is AWESOME!!! Soooo good! Thank you for reminding me of that movie...I loved it when Cuba was dressed in drag..(makes a terrible tranny) and has that nervous breakdown after he kills that man...and Helen was INCREDIBLE as his mentor/lover...btw, I prefer someone looking like Helen in her 60's than plastic faced Jessica Lange...I think she is aging wonderfully...and not plastically!!
I'm currently obsessed with the movie Shadowboxer where Helen Mirren plays Cuba Gooding Jr.'s assassin partner/stepmom/lover, but not because of her. It's the first movie by the director of Precious, and it's so awesomely fucked up I can't get it out of my head.
Anyone ever see the Little Mermaid episode of Faerie Tale Theatre when Helen Mirren played the princess the dumbass prince chose over the mermaid? Bitch is actually hotter now than she was in the 80's or whenever that came out.
She reminds me of St. Angie, in that she is a talented actress, but sounds as dumb as funk when left to her own devices, without a script.
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hey "anonymous" if u are still on here, you have issues. please find the nearest bridge and take a flyin leap!
-- Says the slut from Full House with smelly feet :P
She's still got it. Viva la Mirren!
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
Submitted by RichBitch on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 12:49pm.
I guess Emma Roberts would call her classless? But then Emma Roberts is an entitled cunt and Dame Helen is a fucking DAME!
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She back peddled her statement about bareing her boobies because she knows when no one is hiring her anymore she WILL bare her titty bags!
~~Submitted by No Words on Tue, 05/25/2010 - 10:06pm.
People are tired of this shit night after night...we come here to escape from the minutiae of our daily lives...if I wanted to hear crazy people spout insanity, I would call my mother-
I guess Emma Roberts would call her classless? But then Emma Roberts is an entitled cunt and Dame Helen is a fucking DAME!
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 10:52am.
I think her remarks about Achy Breaky Junior & Gag were sarcastic. A few others were as well.
Read this quote with a British accent and one eyebrow raised:
“It’s amazing how quickly you get into dildos everywhere and pink-feather handcuffs. Within an hour you’re completely used to it.”
I'm sure some people are all, "ew, Granny boobs" and such, but Helen looks pretty great to be in her mid-60's. How do you ho's think you are going to look in your older days?! That is, if you have the balls to keep it all natural like Miss Helen seems to have!
I'm cranky because I burnt the holy fuck out of my hand with the oven door.
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"Regular people pay for birthday cakes, you idiotic pig with the self-entitlement of a billion Kanyes." -MK
fuck just saw her titters...I can imagine that whoever has the misfortune of motorboating her would either have strong knees or be a little person..
Whateva, her ass was in Caligula so she a ho fo-sho fo-life.
"Satchels of Gold."
Now I'm confused, I wanna like her, even love her but endorsing Miley and CaCa in one sentence, I just can't right now.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
News flash, kids! You, too, will all get older - I know you don't believe it but it's true. However, when you do, you might want to keep your naked bathtub pictures - and you sluts will definitely have them :D - to yourselves, in case you scare the children.
BUT, Dame Helen had no right to make us older broads look as if we are complete idiots - Cyrus and GaGa, oh, god, please! With age comes the wisdom (normally) to avoid them like the plague, not praise them!
Please stick to the words written on the scripts. You're making us look bad, lady.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7upBJ63qGwY
Helen is a class act so even she can make a brothel movie watchable. I have watched that Bunny Ranch series on HBO...and those plastic tittied monstrosities make up to $3500 an hour...this crazy cunt, Airforce Amy, something from my nightmares, made $1000 in tips, and $2500 for giving a two second blowjob and 15 minutes worth of sex...and she is fat and near 50....so now I know my whole life I have been in the wrong line of business. Most of those girls I am sure don't make that much, and they never seem to leave the Bunny Ranch...cause they are ALWAYS filming there weird little tea parties and other crazy things...and the Madame is always so offended if anyone does sexy times in front of her...which I think is strange cause it is a damn brothel??? One of the ho's was murdered last year though, she was preggers and left the Bunny Ranch, and was murdered in Oklahoma or something...Brooke was her name, so every time I see it and see her in the series I feel creeped out knowing that she eventually died at 21...so I guess I will keep my normal low-paying boring job and life!!
Submitted by RedVelvetCake on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 11:05am.
If you got anything stronger Let me know because shit isnt going to cut it. I did just get back from a nice liquid lunch so that may help. Xanax may help as well
~~Submitted by No Words on Tue, 05/25/2010 - 10:06pm.
People are tired of this shit night after night...we come here to escape from the minutiae of our daily lives...if I wanted to hear crazy people spout insanity, I would call my mother-
These are real boobs folks, GET OVER IT.
"...women together like that can be very dangerous."
Oh hell yes that is true - even if they aren't mentally-ill prostitiutes. A house full of women does not make for peace.
She's no stranger to the naughty stuff - she was in Caligula, which was rated X (I saw it and it is tame though and Dame Helen doesn't do any of the hardcore stuff herself - she is in the movie though!)
Submitted by Athina on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 11:22am.
Why is everyone bending over backwards celebrating this old cow? She's 64? Yeah, so she looks it. She does not seem to be particularly intelligent or insightful. And the old bag needs to put those wrinkled tits back into her cross-your-heart bra and keep them there.
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Maybe because some people are so ignorant that they seem to think life ends when your tits lose their perkiness? And that once you become wrinkled you are no longer relevant and shouldn't be celebrated? Maybe there are ignorant people who think that looking 64 is a terrible thing?
That said, I agree that she is not bright. Her comments on date rape were enough to make me lose all interest in her.
Submitted by RedVelvetCake on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 11:19am.
Submitted by NovaNightly on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 11:14am.
Wait, what?...She likes Miley and Lady CaCa????
I am sooooo DONE with this lady. She says the most asinine shit ever.
Oh and her neck and chestal area look pretty bad in these pics.
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I totally just noticed that, too. Her boobs aren't so much the problem as her raisin chest and neck.
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Yup...that raisin skin isn't too pretty. I know she's got a shapely body and all...but the skin is looking pretty bad. Her nips may be pointing up, but her skin is sagging down. LOL.
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Many people don't realize that playing dead can work not only with bears, but also at important business meetings.
I will never forget what stupid shit she said about date rape. That dumb piece of shit should just shut her mouth. She doesn't have a fucking clue about women. How the fuck are fat-lips Johansson, horse-face Caca and that braindead chipmunk Cyrus claiming their sexuality? Madonna at least was provocative in a time where no woman dared to fake-masturbate on stage and it wasn't that usual to hear a woman say that she loves to fuck and enjoys her sexuality back then. She was a pioneer. This - although she took it too far at the end - was liberating but those other three... I'm sorry that I have to say this, but:
Bitch, please!
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Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
Why am I getting flashbacks to the bathtub scene in The Shining?
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 11:25am.
I was cool with it, even the tittays, until I actually read the part about Miley and CaCa.
Very disappointing.
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I kind of liked the "dragging performance art down to pop" inference (although performance artists can be some strange twitheads).
Mirren was obviously nearly drowned before they forced those last few quotes out of her.
And her chi chi game is quite good for her age.
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What's with the scared look on her face? It's a bit creepy.
Helen Mirren is like the anti-British (or the old british stereotype) in the sense that she wants girls to be down with the ho in them. I've noticed that in a lot of her quotes. I guess it's a good thing she's never had girls because something tells me they would have grown up like Patsy from AbFab. Fucking ain't no thing and momma wouldn't be afraid if you embraced it.
Still love her.
Granny porn *shudder*
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
I was cool with it, even the tittays, until I actually read the part about Miley and CaCa.
Very disappointing.
Why is everyone bending over backwards celebrating this old cow? She's 64? Yeah, so she looks it. She does not seem to be particularly intelligent or insightful. And the old bag needs to put those wrinkled tits back into her cross-your-heart bra and keep them there.
Submitted by NovaNightly on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 11:14am.
Wait, what?...She likes Miley and Lady CaCa????
I am sooooo DONE with this lady. She says the most asinine shit ever.
Oh and her neck and chestal area look pretty bad in these pics.
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I totally just noticed that, too. Her boobs aren't so much the problem as her raisin chest and neck.
Damn it Helen Mirren I thope that's staight up booze in that cup to make you say those things. My opinion of her has dropped about 50 points. She's still in great shape body wise; maybe she can start working on her interviewing skills. And she knows damn well she's not listening to Miley or Gaga (or if she is then the world's in trouble)...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
The best thing about those pics are the crazy voz and the faucet situation in the first pic.
Wait, what?...She likes Miley and Lady CaCa????
I am sooooo DONE with this lady. She says the most asinine shit ever.
Oh and her neck and chestal area look pretty bad in these pics.
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Many people don't realize that playing dead can work not only with bears, but also at important business meetings.
Submitted by anony54321 on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 11:06am.
i guess i will never read another interview with the woman. she is great looking and has a great presence, until she opens her mouth.
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ITA. her rating at imdb dropped 60% today.