Insert Beaver Joke Here
Since Playboy has to wait a few more years before they can legally offer Justin Bieber the chance to show off his vagina (I'm going to get it for that) in their magazine, they have decided to hit up a different Bieber in the meantime. Blogger Zack Taylor (via HuffPo) claims that Playboy has offered Justin Bieber's 34-year-old mother Pattie Lynn Malette a spread in one of their upcoming issues.
A source at Playboy says the offer is worth $50,000 and would only feature shots of where Justin breastfed from a couple of months ago (aka no vag).
This is most likely all kinds of false, but if it is true, why would Playboy think Justin Bieber's mother would do this shit for only 50 grand? If they are looking for the mom of a tween star to flash her nipples in their magazine they should just go to their front door right now and open it. I'm pretty sure they'll find Tish Cyrus slipping her resume under their door.
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Jesus Christ on a cracker. You know you're old when Justin Bieber's MOTHER is younger than you are.
Excuse me while I cry into my vodka.
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My teenage angst has a body count!
She was a baby when she had him. I'm 47 and have a 9 and 5 yr old.
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This little beaver isn't going anywhere soon. He is music industry property and they will flog him to death, to the last dollar, same as Miley and the gang. No lack of talent will stop the grind of popularity so get used to seeing him around for years. My only pop culture recourse is to read Dlisted, listen to French radio, and stand aside the madding crowd with a ten foot pole.
Playboy's publicity machine is getting desperate if this is all they got. And why are they wanting to sexually publicize the mother of a child star anyway? All kinds of creepy!
What am I crazy. I am prolly alone on this thread, talking to myself. I must have beaver fever.
I never liked her, although her mother looks like she might be OK.
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thats his mom?! his dad look young as hell too
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Can anyone in the world explain this haircut to me??
Anything that ultimately results in more Justin Bieber headlines sucks and should therefore be boycotted.
Playboy sucks... they're disgusting, have no class... she's a mother, for f*ck's sake.
Whenever they pull crap like this, it makes me glad I only look at hardcore porn.
Beiber's mom's sexy, though
I don't understand girls nowadays. How can they be fawning over someone like that Bieber douche? He's not even pretty. If he only would be androgynous so that it would make him somewhat mysterious but he's not even that. He just looks like a girl. Not like a hot boy with feminine features. He really looks like a girl. And that stupid mob of his. I hope the hype around that thing dies down soon.
♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬
Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
Submitted by tasty dish on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 11:45am.
the Bieb is nominated for a BET award. ummm, ok.
number 1, how is that even possible for the obivous reason? and number 2, i have yet to hear one of his songs... a chorus, a bar even..NOTHING!
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He was probably nominated for the song he did with Ludacris...didn't he do one with Usher too? Anyway, power of association.
And on number 2, thank your lucky stars! I have never really liked this kid but I mostly just didn't care. Now that my eyes and ears are constantly assaulted with him, I can't stand him...or his hair.
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'03,'04, '10 and another coming in '11
Kid gives me the creeps. The mom is sitting astride a stream of millions of dollars and gets to siphon some off and bathe in the glow of his celebrity. She is not going to jeopardize that for 50 grand. Probably just a playbody publicity move.
NO BIEBER BEAVER, PLEASE
oh gawd. I'm the Mom's age. I could have had a beiber. I DID sleep with a gay boy when I was 16, 18 AND 19... maybe beiber IS mine?
He wouldn't have gotten his musical genius from me... but I can visualize those 3 potential baby-daddys wearing sparkly leotards and tap dancing while teaching beiber all that they know. It's like the gay version of 3 men and a baby.
2nd question... why do men who claim to like peen want to sleep with me?
I've been watching too much Glee.
I Wanna fuck your dirty ass you milf!
It blows my mind that girls think this kid is cute. Every time I look at him I think "So that's what Ellen Degeneres looked like as a teenager."
When I was younger I THOUGHT I wanted children young. Thank GOD I did not.
I'll have some in my 40s or 50s IF I have them, because my 20s are for me and my 30s might be too if I am feeling myself through two whole decades!
And ponies always age slowly. She'll look her age in a few more years.
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LMAO! I passed over this story a few times now thinking two things:
1. He's dating that girl and
2. I don't care.
Now it's OMG that's his mother!
She's very plain but she's proof why I think it's good to have kids super young.
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What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Holy shit she's 3 years younger than me? Wow, I AM a grandma!! Fuck sakes, she looks beat...she should do the spread and use the money for rhinoplasty.
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Yikes! I thought that was his new "older" girlfriend! Didn't think that was his mom!
he looks girly and the Mom, though cute, looks more manish. It's a switcheroo thing. She looks very young.
the Bieb is nominated for a BET award. ummm, ok.
number 1, how is that even possible for the obivous reason? and number 2, i have yet to hear one of his songs... a chorus, a bar even..NOTHING!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 11:30am.
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Not really scandalous, no, but not so usual anymore w/ all the birth control options out there. I had a couple of friends who had kids that young and it was b/c they came from uber-religious families, weren't supposed to be having sex (hence no birth control), and felt too guilty about an abortion to go through with it.
It more just makes me feel old (I'm only 5 years younger and it is crazy to think in a few years, I could have had a Baby Beaver had life gone differently).
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
So what if she had a kid in her teens? Not that big of a scandal, is it.
He's 16, so she was 18. Young, but not unheard of.
Also, this woman was born in 1976, right? Not the 50s/early 60s? Because then WHY THE FUCK IS HER NAME PATTIE LYNN?
Wasn't everyone in the late 70s named, like, Heather/Lisa/Kimberly?
That name explains why she popped out a Baby Beaver in her teens.
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
Baby Beaver's mom is only 34 years old?!! Yikes. She's cute, in like a normal person way. You know before her son's career is over (aka 12 months), the fame is going to turn this backwater ho into a stone cold bitch though.
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
make him go away please. i can't stand this fuckin punk and his bangs make me wanna scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This trick cannot disappear fast enough.
So sick of his face.
Is his mom a Cyrus ?? would not be surprised.
she's a hard-ridden 34! I'm 44 and look younger than her :\
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he makes me want to vomit.
vomit! vomit! vomit!
Bieber's mama would be better fit posing for Thoroughbred Quarterly.
I bet she'd do it for a year's supply of apples and hay.
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CHINNY CHIN CHINNNNNNS!
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Is this because some sick, demented women want to imagine him sucking on their own tittays? gross!
That little bitches mother is my age?!?!!? HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
So, how old is this princess? 17? 15? This twat spit out this crotch fruit in her teens?
UGH!
Please.
Trish Cyrus would pose for CrackWhore magazine for half that price.
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Let's see...what can we do with Justins mom...oh I know...let's get her NAKED!! She does look kinda hot.
Did you know that Perez has 3 Justin Bieber action figures shoved up his ass right now? *********************************************************************************************** Love me some chicken! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcOWmjSBlg
WHO IS THIS FUCKING BEAVER KID??? I have never even seen him perform or even heard any of his music. Which I am sure is for the best....lol.
All I know is that lesbians strive to look like him...or vise versa.
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Submitted by Few Words on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 10:50am.
i get a boner
when i think about
taking a razor to his head
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That is one superb haiku, although, is it wrong that I replaced the word "head" with "neck"?
i get a boner
when i think about
taking a razor to his head
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken"
- Louis Black
Grossssssss! ewwwwwww! yuck!
Jack in the sombreroooo: I'd hit it...I'd hit the wall that is! the wall is sexy
Coma Caca!
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I'd hit both those chicks!
Why is their fabric MATCHING her dress/his tie
ewwww/creepy !!
I wanna kick him in the head too.
He's way more ANNOYING than any of the boy bands in history.
I hate this stupid little f*cker.
for. real.
give them 50k to go the FUCK AWAY! *LOL*
I'd hit it... the mom, not the ugly little girl on the right...
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Is it me or is his head abnormally large?
His mom is all kinds of FUG.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Will they be putting a paper bag over her head?