Larry King Is Over This Shit
Larry King Live first premiered via hieroglyphics on a cave wall a million years ago, so it's been a long time coming for Larry to hang up his suspenders and let his pants fall to the ground so that he can slither back to his tomb in his thong diapers. Larry has announced that his show on CNN will end this fall after 25 years.
Larry says he wants to spend more time with his family. Basically, he means he wants to spend his days humping on the leg of his wife's sister in between chewing on the decomposing skin of the dead. Here's Larry's full statement:
Before I start the show tonight, I want to share some personal news with you. 25 years ago, I sat across this table from New York Governor Mario Cuomo for the first broadcast of Larry King Live.Now, decades later, I talked to the guys here at CNN and I told them I would like to end Larry King Live, the nightly show, this fall and CNN has graciously accepted, giving me more time for my wife and I to get to the kids’ little league games.
I’ll still be a part of the CNN family, hosting several Larry King specials on major national and international subjects.
I’m incredibly proud that we recently made the Guinness Book of World Records for having the longest running show with the same host in the same time slot. With this chapter closing I’m looking forward to the future and what my next chapter will bring, but for now it’s time to hang up my nightly suspenders.
Larry will still host specials and shit for CNN. CNN has yet to officially name his replacement, but both Gaycrest and Piers Morgan are rumored to be in the running for his spot.
Eff Gaycrest and Piers. Without Larry around, who's going to fuck up the names of guests and bumble around for questions? HOLD the catheter. There's only one old bitch who has what it takes to replace Larry:
QUICK! Somebody wake Andy Rooney up from his 12th nap of the day by tugging at his overgrown eye shrubs! Andy's got a new show to do..doo!
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Larry King was relevant in his time but it's time for him to go. Good Luck Larry!
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What's the deal with all these talk show hosts closing shop? Do they know something we don't know about shit going down in 2011?
"...more time for my wife and I to get to the kids’ little league games."
The old I-have-to-leave-my-prominent-position-for-my-family excuse. Nonsense.
You know that when someone says this, they've been called on the carpet by TPTB and politely asked to leave. It's the same in politics.
Perhaps CNN might have rethought its priorities (like maybe Larry's life lately has been too notorious and embarrassing for them to deal). Maybe he's not worth the cost anymore. Maybe his ratings are in the toilet. Whatever. But I'll bet money it's not Larry's preferred choice.
I was watching good ole Larry last night, in between reruns of Dexter. Where are you Dexter when we need you! Good riddance to an old man whose interviewing skills are in the toilet. Spend more time with his wife and kids my ass. His wife tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago and his kids are in kiddie camp. Any other excuses old man?
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Is that a real statement?
I mean, the little league reference, not to mention the Guiness Book of World Records reference really opened him up to even more ridicule than usual, and that's saying alot.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
Larry King made me want to pimp-slap him outta his Depends the time I saw him interview Paris Hilton. He might as well be on her PR team for the kind of shit he was asking.
He interrupts the interviewer before they can finish a sentence. He phrases his questions as answers so the interviewee doesn't have to, if they are not smart enough to know what the hell is going on (which is usually the case).
CNN has been slowly going to shit ever since Ted Turner relinquished it, and it is not getting any better.
Seacrest needs to be on Bravo, not CNN!
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Submitted by RememberNovember on Wed, 06/30/2010 - 12:51am.
Larry is a geriatric mummy with suspenders. Hope he croaks. I can't believe his wife fucked that and sucked his peen.
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Trust me, RememberNovember, Larry King's wife thought he was going to drop dead a long time ago- that's why she married in him while he was in the hospital on death's door. But Death didn't want his old ass, so he left him to the wife and she's pissed that he's still around too.
And I don't know if she is fucking or sucking him. I doubt it.
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You give him the bed sheet with your period stains on it and send him to sleep in the bath tub!- The Great Michael K, 5/14/2010
I never liked Larry King. Thought he was over-rated, like Barbara Walters.
CNN has already lost Christine Amapour and is about to lose Michael K's boo, Anderson Cooper. CNN also shitted on John Roberts, who was shitted on by CBS when they brought that lousy-ass Katie Couric on the Evening News.
Larry was losing ratings to Sean Hannity (FOX) and Rachel Madow (MSNBC). In other words, he was losing to a blowhard and a dyke.
If CNN brings on Ryan Seacrest, the network is done.
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You give him the bed sheet with your period stains on it and send him to sleep in the bath tub!- The Great Michael K, 5/14/2010
Submitted by Few Words
a monkey in a diaper can replace him for 1/2 the fking cost...
He's busy running the country into the ground.
I guess I'm just a cranky bitch this morning, but I really don't care if Larry King retires or not.
1.) I'm not impressed with his interviewing skills or who he interviews. He tosses more softballs than Barbara Walters. So, let's just say, I don't think he's really good at his job -- he's just been at it a long, long time.
2.) As a person, I'm not impressed with him either. He's had how many marriages? Moreover, he's HOW OLD and he has little kids? That shit ain't right. I don't think the man has all his marbles.
3.) He's "retiring" so he can spend more time with his family? Tick-tock-tick-tock, Larry. Something ain't right here either. I'm not trying to be mean, or put the whammy on him, but most people do that when they've just had a bad diagnosis for something. Hope he's set aside a trust fund for those little kids.
It's really too bad, in another year or two he would have had negative total viewers and that has never happened before.
The last time I watched his show was when he attempted to interview Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, With John and George's widows. What an embarassment. Larry King SUCKS as an interviewer. Good riddence.
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I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell...
a monkey in a diaper can replace him for 1/2 the fking cost and it would be more entertaining
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken"
- Louis Black
"Larry King Live first premiered via hieroglyphics on a cave wall a million years ago..."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHA! You are the BEST, MK!
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
"You're disssthphicable!!!!!"
Good! Larry King is an awful interviewer who constantly interrupts his guests. The big question is what will CNN do to try and revive their ratings.
The first sentence made me laugh sooooo much, MK!
:D
little league? his damn kids should be in AARP shit!
He should have retired about ten years ago, because that was about the last time in his era that his interviews were consistently thorough.
Replacing him with Seacrest would be an absolute travesty. They'd do better to replace him with Joy Behar.
But they're probably going to give Seacrest the gig, since he IS the next Casey Kasem/Dick Clark.
*eyeroll*
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Goldfish in a bowl are more interesting to watch than that old goat.
Larry is a geriatric mummy with suspenders. Hope he croaks. I can't believe his wife fucked that and sucked his peen.
Larry's first show was an interview with Methusaleh's parents about his birth.
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"Your problems are lame and pathetic."
Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist, June 2, 2010
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Now, if only Oprah would follow suit, all would be right with the world.
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Larry King has kids in LITTLE LEAGUE?
Choose Janeane Garofalo CNN !!!
Submitted by HoityToity on Tue, 06/29/2010 - 11:27pm.
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Seriously. Can you imagine him interviewing a world leader?
"So, President Mubarak, who do you like for American Idol this year?"
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The new year approaching, click in. Let's facelift bar!
Team Sucky with the NO Andy Rooney!
NO NO No NO NO Andy Rooney!!!!
I don't care how many fucking unicorns you find in his brows!
Team Fudgie the Whale instead!!!!
"Please sir, I want some more" Oliver Twist
I am all for equal rights for gays since I am one. But this is where even I draw the line. If he gets replaced by Gaycrest, Larry should hang himself immediately. And his journalist credentials should then walk to the fireplace and burn themselves for the agonizing shame.
Good riddance to this asshole.
more fucked-up shit @
www.myspace.com/msdianadeath
govt_cheese:
so i guess your saying if he retires there's a good chance he may loose his mind or he'll drive his family crazy?
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"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
Three things here make me think I musta smoked some of the bad shit on my lunch hour today at the courthouse: wife ... kids ... little league ... Yeah, some of my brain cells won't be coming back, so correct me if I'm wrong, but - didn't his wife try to KILL herself? And for the love of jesus, they don't have LITTLE KIDS, do they??? I think there are gonna be some soccer moms petitioning to keep his wrinkly ass out because he's scaring the damned chirruns. He looks like a very unhappy corpse, and I'm being kind. Give your wife a break, Larry, and plz don't start in on the kids.
Tigerlilly:
MK would become so famous old larry would be forgotten in a heartbeat!
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"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 06/29/2010 - 8:30pm.
I totes nominate MK to replace Larry King...How awesome would that be?
.....
YES YES YES!
I love you for this post, first laugh I've had all day long..!
Who watches those geezers anyways -- dead people?
Watch what you all say about Andy. I love that old Papaw!
@Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 06/29/2010 - 8:30pm.
That is my wet dream !!!!! ...
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I'm gonna take your eyes, use them as a seed, Grow up a tree on the balcony.
you know andy likes the peen, don't you? that's why he's so crabby, he's been in denial all his life.
he's a peen monkey. peen monkaaaaay.
Pants on the ground FTW!!!!!♪♫♪♫♪
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I'm gonna take your eyes, use them as a seed, Grow up a tree on the balcony.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Tue, 06/29/2010 - 8:34pm.
Submitted by gucci on Tue, 06/29/2010 - 8:35pm.
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Can't you just see him too manning the LK phones...?
MK: Is the caller there (rolls his eyes at having to say the cheesy LK line)?
Caller: MK, the problem with 'Merica today is queers, Jews an ni---
MK: Bitch please *click, dial tone*...Nexties!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Why does anyone have to replace him? Why can't his show just end? I know, it's a crazy concept.
Tigerlilly on Tue, 06/29/2010 - 8:30pm.
I totes nominate MK to replace Larry King...How awesome would that be? Can you imagine the questions he would ask....
"Ok, before we get started, I simply must ask you, What the hell kind of GD outfit is that?"
"Did you let him stick the tip in?"
"I'm sensing an eyebrow situation up in here...Any comment on that?"
:-D
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i'm having an orgasm just thinking about MK taking larry kings place. total all time hotness.
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"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 06/29/2010 - 8:30pm.
I totes nominate MK to replace Larry King...How awesome would that be? Can you imagine the questions he would ask....
"Ok, before we get started, I simply must ask you, What the hell kind of GD outfit is that?"
"Did you let him stick the tip in?"
"I'm sensing an eyebrow situation up in here...Any comment on that?"
:-D---------------------------------------------
Oh SHIT, Tiger - YOU SLAY ME!! LMFAO!!!!!!!
And I cannot believe this creature has kids in Little League. What!
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
I totes nominate MK to replace Larry King...How awesome would that be? Can you imagine the questions he would ask....
"Ok, before we get started, I simply must ask you, What the hell kind of GD outfit is that?"
"Did you let him stick the tip in?"
"I'm sensing an eyebrow situation up in here...Any comment on that?"
:-D
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
LARRY KING DEAD!
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 06/29/2010 - 8:22pm.
Larry is only alive because the Grim Reaper passes over him thinking that he is already dead.
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haha! I'm starting to fear they're family, Mr. Reaper & Mr. King. ... OR, King IS the Reaper :O
Hahaha, from Uncyclopedia...
During the 1996 Olympics King personally saved a busload of schoolchildren from crashing into an orphanage while God looked on in approval. Afterwards, he went on to win the gold medal in figure skating for the United States team.
In 2001, Larry King once made Ice T shit his pants by flexing his arms.
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The new year approaching, click in. Let's facelift bar!
Oooh oooh. Thought of another Larry King moment. Wasn't he the one who was talking to Balloon Boy and Boy let it out "you said we did it for the show" [fart]
His show had more moments than I gave him credit for.
im an old crusty conservative piece of shit and when i see that anny or andy or whatever the fuck his name is rooney i just want to take my left hand and swing it around the back of his head straight towards my bathroom door. what a fucking annoying piece of shit.