Delusion Is A Hell Of A Drug
When Judge Marsha shot a bolt of happiness into the hearts of millions by sending Lindsay Lohan to a warm jail cell for a few days, White Oprah dropped to her knees and... Wait. I need to try that again. White Oprah was passed out in her own Vicodin slobber when Nana Lohan woke her up by tasing her in the pussy bone to tell her the news about her child. White Oprah immediately jumped up and then dropped to her knees while screaming "WHY! WHY WHYYYY!!!!" There, that makes more sense.
White Oprah continued to paddle down her river of denial while telling Popeater what she thought about the judge's verdict: "This is so not fair to do this to my child."
White Oprah is right. It really isn't fair, because regular people do not go to jail or suffer consequences when they drive drunk, get caught with cocaine, violate their probation and don't show up to court hearings. This only happens to the Lohans! Screw the people suffering in Darfur. They don't have problems like the Lohans! Why isn't St. Angelina Jolie visiting Long Island to raise awareness for the injustice being done to the Lohans?!
And you know what else isn't fair? It's not fair that the judge is locking up White Oprah's main whore. With her freckled ATM machine in the clink, how is she going to fund her lawsuit against Cookie Puss? How is she going to pay her back alley pharmacist?! How is she going to make the payments on her tab at TGI Fridays?! Why won't anybody THINK OF WHITE OPRAH!
While I'm writing a letter to the UN about the suffering on Long Island, look at these pictures of Lindsay Lohan's secret message to the judge. WWTDD points out the FUCK U Lilo brought to court yesterday. What a dirty nail! Is Lilo going to bang her cell mate with that finger?
And I bet if the photographer zoomed in on Judge Marsha's gavel, you'd see the message "FUCK U BACK, BITCH" carved into it. I mean, who really got fucked yesterday?
• 
Wonderful.
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Those nails look like that Dudley's Swirl-an-Egg colouring you get at Easter. I never got a decal with "FUCK U" on it, though. Only flowers and bunnies and baby chicks and the like.
Submitted by chaka1 on Wed, 07/07/2010 - 8:25pm.
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Leave Homer alooooooooooone
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
LOL @ all the posters with Lohan as their av's!!
Jesus, Mary & Joseph. I can't tell the difference between their hands!
I suppose WO didn't show at at court because she, and LL, thought it would be a cakewalk and no biggie and she may also have been looking for the other half of her nose.
I don't hate her as nearly as much as I hate the following people:
1. Paris Hilton
2. Nicky Hilton
3. Jessica Simpson
4. Homer Simpson
5. Kim Kardashian
6. Anyone with the last name Kardashian
7. That Kate woman who has all the kids.
8. Diddy
9. Republicans
10. Kesha
...too bad the evil prosecutor lady didn't notice bitch's nails yesterday - you know she would have pointed them out to Judge Marsha right then and there...and of course when caught bitch would claim "that's not my finger - I've never seen that finger in my life" or "somebody must have snuck in and wrote that on my finger when I wasn't looking"...or the old reliable "nobody told me I couldn't write on my finger or I wouldn't have"....
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I just realized that if this cuntbag (Lindsay) OD's and dies before her jail sentence, she'll be a legend to idiot girls fifteen or twenty years in the future. People love the "Pretty girl rises to the top and then falls, dies young" stories.
So hopefully she'll live long enough to grow old and ugly and obscure.
*****
Her idol is Marilyn Monroe....
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
I just realized that if this cuntbag (Lindsay) OD's and dies before her jail sentence, she'll be a legend to idiot girls fifteen or twenty years in the future. People love the "Pretty girl rises to the top and then falls, dies young" stories.
So hopefully she'll live long enough to grow old and ugly and obscure.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by babybunny on Wed, 07/07/2010 - 1:34pm.
Dear MK when are you going to make Judge Not the One HSOTD..
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Wasn't she already one earlier this year? The day she issued Lohan's bench warrant or something?
If not, I vote we save that honor for July 20th. You know Blohan isn't turning herself in early and what better day to have her judge as HSOTD?
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#4 on the way 1.11.11
I bet she will not serve her full jail time.
When the judge demands a criminal go to rehab, who pays for this? I heard a month at Hazeldon or one of the like is at least $30,000. Does the state pay for these glamerous rehabs? How many of us would love to be in a rehab where counselors are kind and talk to you about how fucked up your life is? I wouldn't be able to pay for a Pap smear much less rehab in America.
Where was CPS when Lilo was younger is what I want to know....I know I've said in the past I feel sorry for Lilo and I do feel sorry that she has two shitbags as parents but I'm glad that she's FINALLY going to pay the consequences for her actions.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
LOL. Someone really needs to put a bullet in this retarded bitch's skull. However, the entire Blohan clan is just fucked up period. I really hope an inmate really beats the living shit outta her, but I bet she'll be in solitary. I think someone should show the judge those pics so Blohan gets more time. When's Dlisted gonna post the pics of her falling flat on her face in a pile of shit?
This Lohan thread should have been tagged "Bitch goes down."
I love the poet known as MK! I will happily pee myself laughing at this shit! My boss is giving me the concerned side-eye!
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"Regular people pay for birthday cakes, you idiotic pig with the self-entitlement of a billion Kanyes." -MK
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Wed, 07/07/2010 - 12:45pm.
Exactly this is the same bitch who let her daughter go live with Wilmar Valda whats his head at 16! She was partying at clubs back then running with Skanky Bijou Philips and Ashton Kutcher and a the rest of dipshits! But if shes just a child now, she must have been just a child then so why the fuck did you let a child do that? Then she lets her no 16 Benjamin Buttons kid live with her this has been jailbird! LMFAO parenting skills at there finest!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Dear MK when are you going to make Judge Not the One HSOTD...I mean for realz...anywho, I have been singing and dancing and had great dreams now that I know that justice still lives...but this stupid bitch...I mean, she is not dying, will do 21 days tops in an isolated safe pod out of gen pop and all the latina gangsta's..(which she prolly would've liked) who won't be able to braid her hair chola style...sigh, oh well, and then, shudder go to rehab...now that one is going to be tough cause lock down rehabs are the ABSOLUTELY NO FREEDOM rehabs...she will bolt from that I guarantee you that. Jail...pffft...the rehab is going to be the tough one. She is a bitch and finally got served, her mothers is a fucking cunt, and will just miss her freckled atm machine..that is all. This who family sucks and I for one will be glad to not witness there fuckery this summer.
what did she do that morning, I bet I know, she bought herself a pack of glue on nails and did them as fast as she could so she'd look like a lady who gets manicures, dear lord Lindsey, at least let someone else do it, if you cant stay in the lines with the fucking glue....bad fake nail job, bad, but you had a steady hand to write with the skinniest brush ever made to write FUCK YOU, really classy bitch, whatever you get you dont deserve...It will never ever be enough for you, you stank, dirty hoe.
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@MUFFINTOPS
this girl is getting 30 days in jail tops ... and they are all crying like they just told her she's got cancer and has 30 days to live. yah it sucks, but just shut up - put on the orange outfit - and learn the lesson.
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Why would she wear Orange?, she didnt murder anyone "YET" :) :) but keep on letting her drive, and its just a matter of time.
beakers bitch:
Yeah, and Drew was partying back in the 70s at Studio 54 with Grace Jones! So Hohan ain't got NOTHING on her!
So she is a testament that it can work, if you want it to work.
Barrymore had two toxic parents, kicked those bitches to the curb while she was still too young to drive or vote, recovered, began working her way up the Hollywood chain again, and now?
I smell an Oscar in her future one of these days.
Plus, she is my first Hollywood crush. I love her!
Fuck you, Angelina!
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this girl is getting 30 days in jail tops ... and they are all crying like they just told her she's got cancer and has 30 days to live. yah it sucks, but just shut up - put on the orange outfit - and learn the lesson.
TheBreakdown, Drew is who I think about too when people whine about how poor Lilo had shitty parents so she can't help it. Jaid used to drag Drew to clubs when she was 10, for fuck's sakes. You can't get anymore screwed up than that. How many 10 year olds WANT to go to clubs to hang with drunken, coked up adults? I was riding my bike and going camping with my Brownie group at 10. It was probably really hard for her, but she had to cut ties with her mother because she realized it was a toxic relationship and environment. I think her dad was a hopeless alcoholic that she didn't have much contact with, either. So ya, you can still move on from a shitty childhood with shitty, neglectful, enabling parents and overcome that. She's going to have to work for it, though.
No my dear, fuck u.
I was going to say something mean about White Oprah, but in this photo, she has some of the classic signs of fetal alcohol syndrome, so I will refrain. Evidently, we should have been blaming that shifty grandma all this time.
Given her developmental disability, it's nothing short of remarkable that only one of WO'S four kids is an irredeemable loss. WO's own inability to reason logically and hair-trigger response mechanisms are now quite understandable.
I assume Grandma's tippling during pregnancy is also the explanation for "LL's" self-control issues and poor little Ali's progeria--intergenerational wrongness passed on by proxy through WO, combined with irregularities in Michael Lohan's sperm resulting from his groin's exposure to a permanently holstered cell phone (remember--cell phones were quite large devices years ago!).
It's all just so wrong, but it does supply some much-needed answers. I'm just glad all that time I spent educating myself and scrutinizing the facial features of the Jolie-Pitt progeny did not go to waste.
Where the fuck was this bitch yesterday when her daughter was facing a "firing squad?"
Where was this bitch when her daughter was first arrested while under the influence?
Where was this bitch when your daughter was ALONE in Hollywood at 17?
Bitch, you give single mothers a bad name. You claim that it is hard to raise children by yourself. Yes, it fucking is, but you know what? My mom did it by herself and my brother and I have respectable jobs and do NOT USE DRUGS. Why? Because my mother was there for me.
You're a joke, Dina Lohan. And you should, like your daughter, be in jail for failing your fucking children.
P.S. Your sister Ali needs to lay off the botox. I'm sorry, I meant your 40-year-old daughter, Ali.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
LANA! Danja zoone.
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"This is why we can't have nice things"
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Because I have not read through the Sympathy that would make Hallmark card writers weep for Po' Ms. White Oprah *sarcasm* all I am gonna say is.......
wait for it......
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Dumb cunts, Ali is next.
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Check out the 3rd thumbnail pic from the left: Lohan has LIVER SPOTS on her claws! LOL & PMP!
"How is she going to make the payments on her tab at TGI Friday's?" Ahahaha, I can totally see WO kickin' it at the local TGI Fridays, maybe stepping outside in her too tall heels with pants outfit and smoking one of those really long cigarettes, like Virginia Slim 3000's and flirting with ugly, balding dudes in their 30's with beer guts and pastel colored polo shirts. Yep.
God is never the one.- MK
Wow, is that "fuck u" I see written in wrinkles on WO's forehead?
Few Words - Chowchilla is CA's medium security prison for felons! OMG! But that would be soooooooooo glorious to send her to such a hell hole.
The bitches in chowchilla don't fuck around.
TY, koko for the notes - I was dying to know. She has fucking fantastic handwriting. Bitch!
And@the Breakdown...I cannot believe that people call her talk so much about her talent. She's MARGINALLY talented at best - charming. Can be. Has been charming...but talented? No way. Watch Haley Mills in that SAME movie and it's SO obvious how much more skill and talent Haley had. Or the kids from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - THOSE are talented child actors.
But parents PAY to get their kids onto the Disney rotation. They're not chosen by talent alone. I'll give you this - they'll look for the best in a bunch but if the best can't pay then they're just as happy to take second best. Lindsay never got chosen becuz she was the most deserving - she got chosen cuz her mom was the biggest whore.
♥ Threadkilla!
"How does one go from the Air Force to the Bunny Ranch?"
O - it's only, like, an hour away." ~Judge Jeanine Pirro and complainant.
Talk Yuh Talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH-v5dxdhQ
Please. She was in Morroco for the hash not the chirrenz. Mother Theresa's ghost prolly smacked her upside the head when she told that lie in court. Hey bitch there's only one Mother Theresa.. got that?
Anyone interested to meet me please go to:
http://www.link4u.com/friend.htm
I can be your babeh's fathaaaa! You mean so much to me.
Coma Caca!
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I left America before prescription drugs became the crack du jour, so I have never tried any of these, save for a Vicodin when I moved to Europe ten years ago.
What HAVE I missed?!
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LOL@finally seeing Chiri's avvie! LOLOLOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
"How does one go from the Air Force to the Bunny Ranch?"
O - it's only, like, an hour away." ~Judge Jeanine Pirro and complainant.
Talk Yuh Talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH-v5dxdhQ
So she DID go to Morocco....but what children?!?!
Bringing in a little extra cash over the Halloween holiday, Lindsay Lohan attended the grand opening night of the Kerzner Mazagan Beach Resort in El Jadida, Morocco on Saturday (October 31)
♥ Threadkilla!
"How does one go from the Air Force to the Bunny Ranch?"
O - it's only, like, an hour away." ~Judge Jeanine Pirro and complainant.
Talk Yuh Talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH-v5dxdhQ
I love when people demand vicodin for minor procedures. Actually bitching receptionist out if they don't get their 'script. I had a dentist that acutally gave people xanax before root canals.
Submitted by Chirio on Wed, 07/07/2010 - 12:01pm.
OMG CHIRI!! LMAO!! That avie is so wrong. Daddy Lohan is just so wrong!
send her to chowchilla
thats where the babes of CA penal code hang out
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken"
- Louis Black
Frickin' figures. Blohan is made of FAIL.
Aw, poor Dina. Who's going to get a million free Carvel cakes for her now? Jesus. She's what Kate Gosselin is going to be in a few years. What is with these horrible women raising horrible, law-breaking children and then whining over the "injustice" because their disgusting children FINALLY get thrown in jail?
I'm dying to see what McHale will say about this on The Soup. He did a real number on that disgusting mother of those equally disgusting girls on "Going Wild" or whatever the hell it's called, and he's been roasting Kate Gosselin for years.
You want more? Here I am as Jesus:
http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/michae...
Here I am TOO SEXY FOR YOUR WOMB:
http://x17online.com/MLOHAN052607_01_X17.jpg
Coma Caca!
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LOL M.E. well not really but the pain was soooo bad, I wasn't at any clubs!!!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
no more behbehs
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"This is why we can't have nice things"
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
And I love how she was in Morocco for HALLOWEEN...a couple months before the judge told her to start going to classes once a week. Can someone please e-mail all of this to Marcia Revel (although I'm sure she's getting BOMBARDED with thank you's, the FU pictures etc)
This girl is dirty skank. Period.
This fuck u shit wasnt directed at the paps! This bitch loves the paps, she lives for the paps! She would fall into oblivion without them! 99% of the time she is posing with a shit eating grin on her face for the paps! HAHA asshole
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!