Friday, July 16th 2010
The Stepford Transformation Is Complete!
You know Tommy Girl can gets an extra warm tingle in his taint when he watches Katie Holmes in full Stepford drag washing his daisy chains and anal beads in soapy water like the perfect little homemaker. But that's not why Stepford Katie looks like this. Katie is playing Jackie O in a new History Channel mini-series on the Kennedy family. Go ahead and scream out the window "Jackie OHFUCKNOOOOOOOOOOO" while I wait here.
Personally, I'd rather see a movie with Suri Cruise as Jackie O. This will never happen, though. Suri has it in her life contract with Tommy that she is to never EVER walk more than 5 steps a day. I'm with Suri. Walking is really fucking annoying.
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it is a little creepy. i wonder what her "safe word" is? ;p
"But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?"
"Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby..."
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Jackie O, like most fish, cared only about how much money she could rip off from a man (men).
As long as the $$ were being given to her she could not care less who the men were porking.
That child is looking more and more like Josh Hartnett all of the time. It's not even funny. She is so pretty!
Suri looks like she's ready to eat her first placenta!
She looks gorgeous.
I'd give anything to time travel back in time to that period and have pretty, classy hair and be well-dressed like Holly Golightly instead of having to wear shorts and tanks all the time.
I don't have the fucking energy to buck the goddamn system.
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"Submitted by Green Is Good on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 5:42pm.
This is going to be such a giant turd of a mini-series. The Stepford Hag here is a horrid actress. Epic fail.
The Kennedy's have been covered ad nauseum."
Makes me think of Henry VIII...
Can we get a show about some monarch/president that is more interesting than them?
I know that it would take more work to promote some shit that's not familiar to everyone, but maybe it'd be an 'original' hit seeing how lately all we get is this sorta stuff.
Submitted by QueenieBK on Sat, 07/17/2010 - 6:25pm.
Yup, and she almost divorced him earlier in their marriage before he became prez.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Jackie didn't always take JFK's shit. I read somewhere that before they were to enter a party at the White House, they got into an argument (probably over his womanizing) and when they walked into the room, it was clear that she had pulled his hair.
Another time JFK was taking some young lady around the White House, Jackie wanted to know if he thought he "was the (expletive deleted) President of the United States or a (expletive deleted) tour guide." I hope "(expletive deleted)" = "fucking."
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
howdareyou: Laurie Petrie it is!
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sat, 07/17/2010 - 11:14am.
I think Katie Holmes looks less like Jackie than like Mary Tyler Moore, circa The Laura Petrie Years in these pics.
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Yes! I was looking at the picture thinking she looks like somebody, but it wasn't Jackie O.
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I think Katie Holmes looks less like Jackie than like Mary Tyler Moore, circa The Laura Petrie Years in these pics. As already mentioned, Jackie was always absolutely not-a-hair-out-of-place 60's perfection.
The wig KH is wearing is looking a bit frowsy and lacking in bouffantitude. It may even have tripped over a hassock. Is Aqua Net illegal now because of the ozone layer problem? Maybe it just isn't possible to achieve the helmet of yesteryear. If so, THANKS A LOT, AL GORE. You just have to make even hair and makeup people miserable with your dumb crusade.
Those creepy brown contact lenses that are supposed to make KH look more Jackie-like only serve to secure her XenuBot status. Are we actually supposed to believe that they couldn't find ONE actress in all of Hollywood who looks like Jackie and has brown eyes and can stand there reading cue cards and wearing a pillbox hat at the same time??
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sat, 07/17/2010 - 10:32am.
So how old were you when you realized what an asshole you are? Five minutes? Ten?
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So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again.
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since Tammy is not into fish, cankles do not matter!
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sat, 07/17/2010 - 4:06am.
Who is the biological father of the babyfish?
L. Ron Hubbard: The secret father of all the Scientolotots!
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"Gallina vecchia fa bon brodo" ("The old hen makes the best soup")
- chef Lidia Bastianich
It looks like Tommy Girl picked the wrong girl to attach himself to this time. At least Nicole and Penelope went on to be talented and successful actresses while this dumbass is relegated to the History Channel. What's next "Kate"? "Mad Money 2: Get Em to the Bank"?
Jackie-Oh!
"But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?"
"Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby..."
Josh Hartnett = 100% homosexual.
So it was by turkey baster?
But most homosexuals also fuck fish( = Lesbianism most foul!)so anything is possible!
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sat, 07/17/2010 - 4:06am.
Who is the biological father of the babyfish?
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Rumors of Chris Klein or Josh Hartnett being Suri's father have been floating around forever. Chris Klein and Katie were engaged and had a 5-year long relationship which ended shortly before Tom swept Katie off her feet. Katie also dated Josh Hartnett at that time. Tom married Katie half a year AFTER Suri was born. I personally have serious doubts of control-freak Tom marrying Katie if the child was not his. But then again, he's Sciento-wacko, so who knows.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sat, 07/17/2010 - 7:51am.
What I want is a miniseries that airs up all the dirt, like JFK knocking up his aides and the rumors of Jackie sleeping with Bobby and Joseph Kennedy's Nazi sympathies.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
just what the world needs: another crap movie about the Kennedys - weren't the first 20,000 enough?
Stepford Katie is one of the saddest, most pathetic creatures on the face of the Earth - so insecure - notice the way she never smiles fully because she's afraid the camera will catch her misshapen little snaggleteeth
final comment: even on her worst day, Jackie O's hair never looked bad - that wig is laughable!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 8:05pm.
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Well, when you put it like that. If you wouldn't mind chomping on TC a bit and then the child from unidentified parentage, I'm sure more of the world would be muchos grateful.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
OMG - Katie has cankles! Who knew?
Submitted by putsomestankonit on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 5:57pm.
She looks like Katie Holmes dressed up to play Jackie O. Epic fail
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THIS is why actors like Leo DeCaprio refuse to throw themselves into the media eye. They know the characters they play would be less convincing.
We are perplexed as to why nobody has questioned who is the biological father of the child?
Bet Jackie is spinning in her grave knowing this sad portrayal is going on. She was a major league contract wife and to have a D lister playing her is laughable.
I am not a lesbian but my girlfriend is.
That kid needs blepharoplasty surgery. Bet she gets it soon. Who's the daddy?
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
I can't believe she got her nose done. Fuck, this is like the Nicole Train to Plastic Perfection Per Tommy 2.0. I can understand the money part, but the body modification is truly disturbing. Next thing we know, Suri is gonna go under the knife to wipe away all those Josh Hartnett hints.
Who is the biological father of the babyfish?
The baby fish looks German.
Discuss.
I think the "Jackie" make-up makes Katie look prettier than usual.
Jackie O was one of the original playa-pimp-hustlas. In essence, she was a gold-digger with enough pedigree that no one would dare call her that in her day.
And everyone knows John-John wanted to go Hollywood, but mama wouldn't allow it, so he dropped Darryl and married the next best thing.
And in these photos, KateBot looks enough like Jackie O to me, so whatevs.
But Suri also looks enough like Josh Hartnett to get tongues a-waggin'.
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@RedWeatherTigerD, et al:
Oh I absolutely, 100% agree that the reason for the blanket swaddling is to cover up her diaper. There were some pictures from last year (last year!) where Suri was trying desperately to cover her diapered bottom when Katie jumbled up the blanket. That was in 2009 - when, if I recall, Suri was at least three and a half years old. I know that some children have physical problems and that we should all be sensitive to that (etc. etc.) but let's be real here - this child appears to be completely normal (physically, that is) and healthy. The way these morons appear to be raising their Scientolotot drives me insane....
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YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE FROM LONDON!
she looks pretty but OLDER.
Not sure why people admire Jackie so much. She may have been "lady like" but fuck, Ari? She was a well-educated gold digger whose control over her kid was oppressive.
Hekki-It was said that Darryl Hannah was the love of his life and he only married Carolyn Bessette because he thought she was the kind of girl momma would approve of. I believe it.
Also, I think they would have made a good pair. She had her own money, her own fame, and is not the type to seek publicity. Too bad Jackie did not like Darryl. I assume it was because she was an actress.
dementa on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 9:59pm.
Submitted by zomay on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 9:49pm.
Nah, Data had more soul and personality than Katiebot. Better fashion sense too
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True.
Sometimes StarTrek Next Gen is on late at night on BBC america or something like that. I can't remember. I watch it sometimes when I can't sleep. Great to fall asleep to.
Submitted by zomay on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 9:49pm.
Nah, Data had more soul and personality than Katiebot. Better fashion sense too
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
KidL: That's a good point about forcing Jr. to be a lawyer. Remember all the fuss about him flunking the bar exam so many times? Poor guy. And he went out with Darryl Hannah forEVER. I think they would have married if Jackie hadn't put the kibosh on it. And Darryl Hannah is supposed to be stupid, but from a wealthy family, I think. She's not a Lohan, ya know?
I served Jackie O at the Cookery Jazz Restaurant at 8th and University in 1980 when (the other servers made me because I was the new girl) she came to interview Alberta Hunter about a possible Doubleday book deal. She was tall and had long thin hands and feet, dressed well but plainly and she seemed a little disconnected. We almost collided when she was coming out of a doorway from the restrooms but even as I sprang back out of her path I noted with amazement how big her head and hair-do were. Larger than life I think it is called. I would say the IT factor was transmitted by the camera which was her friend.
Data from StarTrek, we found your solemate..
Read somewhere that Jackie had a "world class spending habit" and that always sticks in my head when I see her name.
Vidz, I agree that Jackie and Marilyn were overrated.
I'll give Jackie credit because she seemed to be a good and devoted mother. And she dressed well. And she behaved like a lady. I'll bet anything that she was a bitch privately, and I know she was a snob and a golddigger, too. But she kept it classy.
Jackie O-you've-got-to-be-shitting-me is more like it.
Holy crapola~!!
Stepford Bot Katie has some of the worst legs in showbiz and I say this as someone cursed with chunky legs and cankles.
Jackie was said to be a lot smarter in private than she appeared to be. Her little-girl voice was not her actual speaking voice. (BTW, I read in a bio once that JFK's sisters could not stand her and mocked her 'babykins' voice.)
With that said, I never got her appeal. She was more of less a gold-digger. Also, it really sucked that she more or less forced JFK Jr. into being a lawyer when he wanted to be a stage actor because she thought the former was more 'dignified'.
I think Jackie O. would have thrown herself off of the White House roof if her calves were as big and shapeless as Katie's. Honestly... Jackie was able to deal with your run-of-the-mill tragedies, but cankles? I think not.
They could have picked someone better for the part. Can't that kid ever walk on it's own?