Nothing Says "It's Monday" Like A Fuck Bomb
It's Monday, so you're probably dropping fuck bombs in your cubicle like Mel Gibson in need a blow. So why not bump your fuck bombs with Tiger Woods' fuck bombs (put a condom on your tongue first). At Saturday's British Open, Tiger let the fuck word leap off of his tongue after he missed a putt on the 13th hole.
Tiger focused hard on getting that ball in and it failed him. Tiger tried to picture the hole as his mouth and the ball as a giant Ambien. That didn't help him focus. Tiger tried to picture the hole as a cocktail waitress' snatch and the ball as an anal bead (It's Tiger, he's kinky), but that didn't help. Tiger tried to picture the hole as Gloria Allred's mouth and the ball as a giant plug, but obviously that didn't do the trick either. When Tiger missed the shot, he muttered to himself, "Why the fuck did you do that?"
"Why the fuck did you do that?" and Tiger Woods are so perfect for each other that he should probably get that shit tattooed on his tongue.
via HuffPo
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Because the ball hates you as much as Buddha does, that's why, douchebag.
Man...he really has "fuck" on his mind. Projecting much??
He has been way off his game lately. He must be too busy steaming about all the money his soon to be ex is going to get.
I miss the daily Meltdown Gibson rants we were treated to last week, but I guess this'll do :\
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http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the-13-worst-mel-gibson-rant-quotes-pre...
@ Soultonic ... Tiger gave millions to his ex-wife because he wanted her to go away. He said fuck on camera because it best expresses that the magic is gone and former glory is a public has-been. I have compassion for talented people who fuck up under pressure. But just once and then it is time for a little consciousness-raising upon one's talented self.
I got the Sanka, Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill, and Mothers Circus Animal Cookies covered! okay, I don't have the last one...but I DO have Vienna Fingers! I'll bring the vuvuzelas too to salute Linds as she makes her way to the chokey.
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
I guess errbuddy's waiting for him to start playing like shit, huh? How's he doing anyway?
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Between this, divorce and Ellen taking millions from him, can you blame him for using the f-bomb?
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
Submitted by snowpiece: "Linds is going to jail tomorrow people, who is bringing what to the party!?!?!"
I'll bring pretzel jello salad and an aioli platter.
And some handcuffs for party games.
Did you ever notice that he always says shit like "why did YOU do this" or refers to himself as Tiger? It's never "Why did I do this". Seems kinda crazy to me.
agirl : awesome, now who will bring the dilutal (whatever that shit is called)? I am brewing up some of my famous Jemken recipie for the event!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
My concentration is shot. I drank too much coffee and I feel cracked out. I can't focus on anything.
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"This is why we can't have nice things"
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
His concentration is shot, and Elin took his Mojo.
Can you blame poor Tiger? With his Ornamental heritage he is probably cursed with both 'tinymeat' (under 7 inches hard on the tape measure) and an insatiable taste for expensive white stinkfish! WHich spells enormous amounts of $$$$$ needing to paid for the stinkfish he craves!
Abad combinatia if you ask us!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:09am.
Linds is going to jail tomorrow people, who is bringing what to the party!?!?!
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I'll bring a 40 of OE (for me) and some weed (for everyone), how's that?
Submitted by mike on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 8:50am.
Off topic, but any of you with Twitter need to start Twittering your prison lesbian rape fantasies to Lindsay Lohan ASAP.
Ahhaha! I'm sure she'll be narcis-scissoring with anyone she can get!
So weird that illicit pussy would really bring his game, and now that it's over his game has gone to hell. Weird but funny!
I'll bring some Mad Dog snowy.
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"This is why we can't have nice things"
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
and LIndsay STILL thinks she can get out of going to jail! hahahahhahahahah
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And all my armor falling down, in a pile at my feet
And my winter bringing way to warm, as I'm singing him to sleep
- Fiona Apple
Linds is going to jail tomorrow people, who is bringing what to the party!?!?!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
I think that sentence is just stuck in his head from hearing Elin say it so many times.
I think Tiger has some serious mental issues. Almost like a split personality, yelling at himself like that.
Just imagine what he texted to the golf ball.
Um, the golfers aren't miked.
They have media following them with those satellite looking boom mics.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 8:35am.
Why the fuck do they keep a microphone on him? He isn't shouting it, more like muttering it to himself.
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MORE important, why does he allow himself to be miked?
I can guarantee he wasn't the only one dropping FUCK bombs.
I was jealous of everyone there wearing long sleeves.
But the winner, congrats, Oosthuizen. Not to shabby. Yes, I watched it.
And Tom Watson, you will be missed.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
They should put a microphone on John Daly. Imagine all the crazy shit that comes out of his mouth.
"Why the fuck did you do that?" and Tiger Woods are so perfect for each other that he should probably get that shit tattooed on his tongue
Oh how right you are MK.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 8:47am.
I freely address my nephews and niece as "shithead" "hey shithead" "go away shithead" and they are age 15 12 8 5 2 and 3 and my sister doesn't care haha.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 8:50am.
Off topic, but any of you with Twitter need to start Twittering your prison lesbian rape fantasies to Lindsay Lohan ASAP.
I'm seriously considering joining Twitter just to read her tweets!
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"69ing while driving is only for professionals" --MK
LOL..that's ironic, because the first words out of my mouth after seeing pictures of fugly skanks he was sleeping with was "Why the f*ck would he do her?"
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Off topic, but any of you with Twitter need to start Twittering your prison lesbian rape fantasies to Lindsay Lohan ASAP.
MK is on a roll this morning!
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
This reminds me of yesterday when my husband and kids were joking around and the 4 year old said "shit". Naturally, he reprimanded her.
But my sister (childless) was visiting and was making her usual loud and frequnent criticisms of our parenting. She said "SOME children have never heard the word 'shit' before..."
I said "Oh, really? What fucking cave was that shitty little bastard hiding in?"
Wow, there is no dignified way to pick up a golf ball. If anyone should be able to make it look natural and easy, it's Tiger. But it still looks funny, with his back leg up in the air. Ha ha ha hahaha!
Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 8:35am.
Why the fuck do they keep a microphone on him? He isn't shouting it, more like muttering it to himself.
They need all the help they can get to make golf interesting to the observer.
He should have told the ball he wanted to treat it rough, throw it around, spank and slap it.
thiose shocking thing is that Tiger hasn't done well AT ALL since coming back from the dungeon of self exile aka sexile. I though at least you would find his name somewhere on the leader board.
"Why the fuck did you do that?"
I'm sure he's asked himself that same question many, many times in the recent past.
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"69ing while driving is only for professionals" --MK
Why the fuck do they keep a microphone on him? He isn't shouting it, more like muttering it to himself.