Jennifer Aniston Has A Stalker
I can't even pin this one on Maddox. Not today. Not ever. Jennifer Aniston has taken a restraining order out against a 24-year-old certifiable psychopath who goes by the name of Jason Peyton after the cops caught him stalking her. Yes, Jennifer wants a man as bad as I want a Frosty from Wendy's (Why won't this craving go away???), but I doubt she wants a delusional crazy. If that was the case, she'd still be with John Mayer.
TMZ says that Jason drove across the country to California, because he believes he's in a relationship with Jennifer Aniston and they are destined to marry. Jason's mother called the cops in California to let them know that he was coming, because she knew he was trying to get close to Jennifer. Jason has been thrown into the loony bin before for hurting himself and trying to run over his mom with a golf cart.
The police found Jason hanging out at a place he believes Jennifer goes to regularly. The side of Jason's car was carved with the message: "I Love Jennifer Aniston." Jason's bag was filled with messages to Jen, duct tape and some kind of shank-like object. Jason was arrested and is currently sitting in a mental hospital on a 5150 hold.
And here's a major reason for why Jason should be outfitted with a StraitSnuggie® and banished to a padded room for a long ass time: he believes he's related to Donald Trump AND JLo. Even people who are really related to those two don't admit it!