Lindsay Lohan Will Be Free Any Day Now
Judge Marsha originally announced that our "World Without Lindsay" party would last 90 days, and then the Sheriff's Department popped a few balloons and said LiLo's sentence has been reduced 14 days. Well, blink the lights and declare it LAST CALL, because Radar is saying that Judge Marsha just Shawshanked 2 more days off her sentence for time she served a million years ago. That means White Oprah's child will be out before July ends. And you know she's going to run straight to The Insider to say she's a changed person now that she's experienced life on the inside. White Oprah is picking out her redemption leggings right now.
Another source tells Radar that LiLo's lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley is working to get her out even earlier. The source added, “Lindsay’s team is doing everything they can to get her out of jail this weekend."
All of this is due to overcrowding. OVERCROWDING! Isn't there somewhere we can put her ass? Alcatraz has all those empty cells just itching to get a piece of LiLo! Throw her in there. If that's not going to work, just sit her ass in the bathroom of a 76 gas station in Riverside. We'll all take turns watching the door.
Whenever LiLo gets out of the clink she's supposed to spend 90 days in rehab, but I won't be surprised if that doesn't happen. The judge will tell her to watch half an episode of Intervention while wearing a D.A.R.E. t-shirt and they'll call it even!
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This pisses me off, I figured she'd get out early, but NOT this fucking early, this is totally ridiculous, I now hate that judge too...she's full of shit.
You know, I was about to start a rant about how celebrities and rich people always get special treatment and the goddamn breaks but then I decided to reread Origin of the Species.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
Obviously, her parents fucked her up -- but at her age, it's hard to garner sympathy for that. Hell, it's hard to garner sympathy for the brat at the mall with the idiot parents, even if you know her life will suck when she gets older, because said brat is probably screaming, throwing a tantrum, and annoying the shit out of you while her parents are laughing and saying how much of a "free spirit" she is. That's how Lindsay was raised, but throw in hard drugs, pathological lying, and exploitation.
Unfortunately, the children of these parents grow up to be adults - who are held accountable for their behavior - that act just like their douchebag parents. At that point the sympathy flies out the window because an adult is capable of making their own choices, good or bad.
Lindsay is not a hurt child, she has now grown into an insufferably entitled young adult with a serious drug habit. I think that she could do with MORE than the full 90-day sentence. She needs at LEAST 180 days in jail and rehab for HER OWN GOOD. Whether spoiled child or adult, sometimes it takes a harsh outside influence for them to realize what a little shit they really are. Obviously their parents don't do that job --- they just bitch about how unfair the world is to them and their "child".
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764, in walking with my
I accidentally saw the E! True Hollywood story this morning and I can see how she declined so rapidly. Her mother is an enabler. Her father is a dick who lambasts her for the same shit he himself has done. And truthfully the spotlight the public and the media puts on young women ia abhorrent!
But I think she nees to be in jail for a full 90 days to let that shit soak in her brain and her her straighten out her life! In fact just take celebrity money and build a celebrity jail for all of those bitches!!
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Submitted by babybunny on Wed, 06/30/2010 - 2:47pm.
bitch, cunt, whore, slut, fuckers and fucking are mandatory to write if you comment on dlist. Did you not get your booklet???
FWIW,
That's not me in the picture. i'm bettin' he belongs to FREE LINDSAY!!! (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=114438981937738) though.
Al K Hall
Functional Alcoholic Spokesperson
(No, REALLY. Google "Slurperson" if you don't believe me.)
http://pjensi.wordpress.com
I can't resist - one more Jake Byrd clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5CLfr61lD0
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You just want to snatch one of her machete-like brows and use it to deflate her inner tube lips. - The poet Michael K
It's so funny that Anna Paquin comes right after this. WTF Lindsay? You didn't HAVE to be a fuck up you know.
♥ Threadkilla!
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid,
you must also be well-mannered. ~Voltaire
Hot for Words!: Filibuster
http://www.youtube.com/user/hotforwords#p/u/7/V1_kwlhh_hg
I think it's pretty safe to say that, when your jails are perpetually overcrowded, you got WAY bigger problems than a Lindsay Lohan.
♥ Threadkilla!
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid,
you must also be well-mannered. ~Voltaire
Hot for Words!: Filibuster
http://www.youtube.com/user/hotforwords#p/u/7/V1_kwlhh_hg
Is she out yet?
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Sat, 07/24/2010 - 9:47am.
too bad RX shopping/DR shopping isnt a fdederal offense.. should be..
"Ek is tans besig om fucking die wêreld en die heelal gee my damn tong.."
I heard the poor girl is having "firecrotch" chanted at her by the other inmates....darlin, this is why I wax all my pubes off!! It's the price I pay for being half Irish, half Scottish....but I can drink like a motherfucker! :)_______________________________________________
I was just myself. I didn't know any other way to be, or any other way to live - Bettie Page
The guy w/ the T-Shit is always at stuff like Paris Hilton's trial, OJ Simpson ... he's on Jimmy Kimmel. He's a scream.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCmhdN3XjaA&videos=vBUPCTt20Bg
You can hear him in this clip from Paris Hilton's case.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUJUrLiHhsk&feature=related
This is a better clip. You can see him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_UTmgrKNW0&feature=related
@ OJ's trial.
please can any one tell me who that guy is wearing her T shirt?
Shame on LA Sheriff's Department. This is not American justice. This is making a joke out of American justice. This is an abuse of justice. Lohan is a convicted FELON with DUIs, cocaine possession and other stuff on her record. Why waste California taxpayers money and go through the spectacle of trial and sentencing, when all that means absolutely nothing?
Awww poor Firecrotch! She should've been arrested for being a talentless, waste of space.
Sexecution, you also forgot that LINDSAY is a CARJACKER.
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Ay Mama, you seem to forget- I never will let a man control my emotions
But when he smiles, I feel like a little child
-Christina Aguilera "Infatuation"
Sexecution:
The cocaine possesions are felonies. That happened two different times. And these CRIMES were pled to, as in LL pled guilty. So to say she has commited misdemeanors and is not a criminal is just wrong. Whether you agree with the laws or not, she broke um. Then she didn't comply with the probation.
What else is there to do with her but put her in jail? LA jail might be overcrowded, but there are no more alternatives with this one. It is not like they can get more money from her: They increased her bond to like $200,000 right?
As an attorney from a small town, I can tell you that the jail is overcrowded everywhere. Hence the 90 days of rehab. Hopefully she gets help, but then again, as I have said before, she is good entertainment when she acts like this.
Submitted by chefcammi on Sat, 07/24/2010 - 8:41am.
...and again, snipes is getting three YEARS for 1 year of tax evasion...not cool, i know- but wtf?
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Unfortunately for Snipes, that's federal court and federal prison. They're no joke. Too bad the Feds have nothing on Lindsay. Hell hath no fury like Uncle Sam when he doesn't get his money.
Sexecution, I live in L.A. You think there is nothing dangerous about Lindsay being on the streets? especially when she was driving? Sorry, I think she needs to stay in jail. Make her share a cell. She does not deserve to get out early when she has been giving the justice system the finger for the past 3 years while she traipses around high as a kite.
grrrrrrrrr
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Ay Mama, you seem to forget- I never will let a man control my emotions
But when he smiles, I feel like a little child
-Christina Aguilera "Infatuation"
It may seem odd to most people but Los Angeles is one of the most dangerous and crime-ridden cities in the country. By keeping her in jail, they are forced to let car jackers, child endangering, child beating, thieves, drug dealers and a host of violent predators out of jail early. In reality it's not like living in a small or medium sized city and felons are being released early to allow some misdemeanor criminals to stay in. The problem is someone like Lindsay isn't or hasn't committed a crime she missed some classes and a court date, which means some very dangerous people got out early. No doubt to crime again.
She should have been on home confinement in the first place, she and people like Parasite Hilton are not a real danger, putting them in jail doesn't deter crime, it was all for show for the judge, she's famous now. This was an exercise in stupidity. Lindsay is very fortunate her lawyer is one of the best and stayed with her.
"The newspaper quoted three inmates saying the actress and singer began screaming and wailing Friday when other prisoners started chanting "fire crotch" at her, a reference to Lohan's relationship with female DJ Sam Ronson."
http://www.torontosun.com/entertainment/celebrities/2010/07/24/14813726....
Once a firecrotch...always a firecrotch!!
Who is the guy wearing the shirt?
PROBABLY HER DAMN ATTORNEY #2,154
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That's Jake Byrd, he's a comedian, well Jake Byrd is the character he plays at all these celebrity "happenings" always plays the rabid, devoted fan. Jimmy Kimmel has him on all the time. The guy is really funny. I remember him at the Michael Jackson trial, between him and Triumph, I couldn't stop laughing.
Submitted by nightowl on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 11:31pm.
More like Fresno/Bakersfield or even better McFarland (I have relatives there and it's awful).
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Oh Lord Jesus. Don't send her to those places. The mutants there would treat her like she was a goddess. Send her instead to Taft --- that's basically The world's end with a Mars lansdscape.
Submitted by You_Complete_Me. on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 11:42pm.
Will you jackasses just RELENT.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA
Well, let's see what happens, shall we? No need to freak out too soon. LiLo can still melt down while in jail. She's not wrapped too securely.
I expected more reaction to her lock up now several days have passed. Out of sight, out of mind.
SamRo? What a joke that cunt is!
I just hope rehab holds her for the full ninety days. I hope it's a real rehab, too, and not some joke like the ones she attended in the past.
i agree with the poster that said she needs to wait her turn to get out.. let someone who was caught with a joint out first.
this is just solifying (sp?) the fact that she can do whatever she wants and not have to pay the price..compl,etely. jail hasnt even sunk into her fucked up brain yet to get her to think twice.
...and again, snipes is getting three YEARS for 1 year of tax evasion...not cool, i know- but wtf?
"Ek is tans besig om fucking die wêreld en die heelal gee my damn tong.."
Driving drunk is both selfish and criminal.
Why should she be rewarded for her obvious contempt for our court system by being let out early?
She should be forced to serve the entire 90 days as an example to all the other drunken skeezes out there (and just to make things fun, she should be forced to share a cell with the middle-aged pedo in the "Linnocent" t-shirt!)
Shame Shame, but I am not surprised.
N.Y...Jersey...Philly
Its a Blohanloon! It figures that it's a pedo. Maybe its a "special uncle" Blohan has.
Good Morning DListed pups & kittens!
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
Submitted by CORNDOG on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 9:16pm.
Who is the guy wearing the shirt?
PROBABLY HER DAMN ATTORNEY #2,154
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken"
- Louis Black
Free Lilo??? She is no Patty Hearst.
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
Look on the bright side: If she doesn't have enough punishment to teach her a lesson, she will end up in trouble again and we will get all of that future trouble to goof on. So let her ass do ambien in rehab, and ADD medicine. ???
I feel bad for this kid. But there are definatly people in way worse situations. So -F- her. Let's see more nekkid photos of her, more drug abuse, arrests, self important BS, and so on.
It is unfortunate to see a decent talent fall by the wayside, but her family is wack, so you can see why.
Maybe they'll reenact that scene from "Hairspray" (the movie not that piece of shit Broadway crap) where they all go to the jail and march back and forth chanting "Free Tracy Turnblad! Free Tracy Turnblad!"
Only this time they'll chant "Free Lindsay Lohan!" and the cops will open fire cutting those assholes in half if there's anything like "justice" left in the world.
Let her dry out in there and pray to your fave god (Jehovah, Buddha, Satan, whatever) that a couple of "certain people" get hit by lightning (several times) before she gets out.
and to any bitch who read that crap and will try to fuck with me, it's 6h39 a.m. here, its my very first day of a month vacation and i'm really really drunk.
by the way, i don't agree with a lot of laws here, but you have to be 18 to have a driver's license. which makes me feel a bit more safe thinking that all of you got one at 16.
i only imagine me at 16 with a drivers license and a car. i would fuck up MUCH worse than i did. i don't think that I would, but it's much easier for a 16 year old do a hit and run, 'cause of the whole panic and shit than a 18 year old, who's a little more mature to think about the effects of a crash on the person who's been hit than 'what mom and dad'll say when they see the broken headlights'
'And only a moron would let her skip on the rehab--imagine the lawsuits when this twat finally kills someone. I hope this judge is too smart for that.'
dude, she's DAMN lucky (and everyone else is fucked) she's in the US. i mean, at least here in brazil, a couple years ago they made a strong campaing reinforcing the no 'drinking and driving'. according to the law, you could have a very (VERY) limited amount of alcohol in your system while driving. they updated the law and turned that tolerance into 0,00%. or 0,05%. all i know is that it was a really shitty amount that in that test where you barf your awful alcohol breath, could easily be achieved by a trace of listerine or a trace of the alcohol you had on your dessert. (which, by being a chef, i know that every alcohol in food, is cooked in a way that burns out the alcohol and leaves only the taste of the beverage. wine and other fruit based drinks leave fruity aspects, whiskey and other malted drinks leave the malt (oh really?) and help with the texture).
bottom line? it didn't work. alcohol related accidents kept at the same rate. the numbers of booked drunk drivers kept the same, and even worse. at the last week before that law was valid, the number of car crashes by drunk drivers got like, 30% increase.
here, where the autority (police and that kind of crap) are a joke, cause everybody knows they're a huge part of crime, nobody takes it seriously. but if you're famous, you're fucked. you're going to be an example, and face all charges. 'cause they wanna show that they're doing something.
i would really like to see lindsay in a brazilian female jail. or at any other country where shit is even worse. bitch would become a 'born again christian' in 2 hours. she would be such a target that ho's would fight to decide who's bitch she would be. hahahaha.
Ugh. If I still lived in LA I would go to the prison and riot on the day of her release. This is so unfair. It's classist, racist, sexist-so fucking WRONG.
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"But I don't speak liarmouthcuntanese. So who the fuck knows."
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 07/13/2010 - 7:40pm.
OMG this shit makes me SO ANGRY. I can't even get away with speeding without going broke. I used to sympathize with her, but now that the system is on her side, FUCK HER.
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"But I don't speak liarmouthcuntanese. So who the fuck knows."
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 07/13/2010 - 7:40pm.
LMAO @ Sandbitch's icon.
The only thing that would make it 'OKAY' for them to let this skank out of jail would be if the judge slapped a "DO NOT PROFIT" clause in her probation/early release conditions!
And only a moron would let her skip on the rehab--imagine the lawsuits when this twat finally kills someone. I hope this judge is too smart for that.
Damn shame.
DAMN shame.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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especially Radar.
i mean, they always break news about the lohans.
michael's 'look at me' declarations about how his daughter is a dope head, etc etc. they always make it seem like it's huge news and they were the first to buy (and pay a lot of money for it)
but really. no one pays for lohan's news anymore, attention whores that they are. and they sure ain't got money to pay people to talk about them. so i ask myself. is michael vagina punching someone at radar for all this attention?
'Lindsay’s team'
what?! really?!
she has a TEAM?
seriously, sometimes these gossip sites that 'break' lindsay's shit are more dellusional than her and the whole lohan clan together.
This will never happen but she should at least, AT LEAST have to serve the rest of the time under house arrest THEN rehab...
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 10:39pm.
They'll have to make room for her when she DUI's someone to death.
Lets hope she runs over Paris or Tila. 2 birds and all...
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Bitch please!
This is all you Dlisted motherfuckers's fault. I bailed out a bum I never met to keep this cunt in jail. YOU ALL KNOW you have friends and relatives locked up in Lynwood. Bail them bitches out so WHORE-HAN can stay the full 90. M.K. you KNOW you have at LEAST 7 cousins in there righjt now. Get off your wallets bail out a bum so Whore-Han can enjoy another day of not smoking and ""nutrition loaf" for supper.
Save A skank!
"Darling, I shall open doors to worlds of fuckery you never dreamed existed!"
Dude, you got some crap on your shirt there.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by You_Complete_Me. on Sat, 07/24/2010 - 12:19am.
And I'm very glad to see Mick and that pop up dicko thing.
How weird is Mick Lohan, seriously. I mean to say, I almost feel sorry for Lindsay. I do.
Submitted by fauve on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 8:45pm.
Hell to the yes!
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 8:13pm.
Submitted by RoadDogXXIV on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 8:06pm.
Never mind.
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((((KISS)))))) srsly, you're on my Illuminati-approved list of must-read posters <3
Okay, now you're just kissing ass. ;-D
because Radar is saying that Judge Marsha just Shawshanked 2 more days off her sentence for time she served a million years ago.
Why can't they deduct the 2 days off of the days she won't serve for "overcrowding"? Or use the actual time served (84 minutes)? If her actual jail time is pro-rated, it's only fair that the "time served" be equally pro-rated or adjusted to actual.
(lmao at the "shawshanked")