Did Joy Division Sign Off On This?
Star Magazine has published a set of pictures they say will split the Church of Brangelina down the middle and send St. Angie and Brad Pitt running in opposite directions. The ESCANDALOSO pictures are from Andrew Morton's unauthorized biography on the holy one. So what kind of pictures will cause Moses to drop from the sky and part Brangelina's sea of blessed love FOREVER?!
The pictures aren't of Brad Pitt licking and humping on his secret stash of Jennifer Aniston DVDs or anything like that. The pictures are of Angie with tape on her nipples and dragons in her eyes. Clutch your partner's pearls (or anal beads....whichever)! From Star:
In one set, the now-mother of six has black tape over her nipples and a dog leash around her neck. Others show her during a 14-hour heroin-smoking bender."The photographs are a startling reminder to Angelina of a period in her life I’m sure she wants to forget, a shady piece of her history that she’s kept hidden away, even from Brad," celebrity biographer Andrew Morton, author of Angelina: An Unauthorized Biography, tells Star in our cover story.
If you flipped through a promotional pamphlet from the Department of Not Shocking you will find pictures of Angelina Jolie with black tape over her nipples and a dog leash around her neck. Somebody pass Andrew Morton a copy.
And here's the SHOCKING pictures that should tear Angie and her stylist apart for damn good. Here's Angie showing us that she's also the Saint of Recycling by wearing a used Hefty bag to the press conference for Salt in Seoul, Korea today.
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Everybody in the civilized world knows that Angie had her problems with drugs, cutting, man-stealing (which is my least favorite thing about her), and a variety of other things. And yes she is thin, as she has been since her mother died, which makes it kinda fucked up to roast her about it, don't you think? See how much you want to eat when your mom goes.
Damn p-m, you are way harsh. I think you want some of that, huh? Some of that money, some of that fine ass man, some of those beautiful kids, some of that fame, or is it just those titties you want that you insist are gross? You ain't fooling nobody. You're a fake hater, just admit you fucking love her. IMO she has had too hard of a life to hate on her that way unless you are trying convince yourself.
@wilfred dierkes: Your story is funny. It reminds me of my high school boyfried that I was mad at, so I fed him "Say Cheese" dog biscuits. He wolfed them shits down while my friends and I watched. Dumbass!
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If I have to come back here it's gonna get fuckin ugly.
Doesn't anyone remember how pathetic Brad acted when Gwen dumped his ass? And I think Juliette Lewis dumped him too? He reminds me of this dopey ex-boyfriend of mine who I told to go buy this purple suit at the mall cause purple was his color and he shows up at my house the next week wearing it! Dumbass!
I knew this would be something you all would defend. It is so funny how you trash her daily and then you see these photo's and your all simpatico with her. Mental much? The fact that these are not out there to shock and are just proof everything you have been saying is true escapes you. Consistent much? Nobody is shocked by these. But they are a nice reminder of how depraved she is. I can state for fact you would never uncover photo's like this of me from my past.
Doesn't mean I was a saint. Just means I don't try to act all bad ass.What the hell are you defending this pathological fraud for?
I myself love how they show her so out of shape for her age. I mean those boobs. Gross
Come on Star magazine, how will this kinky shit break them up? I can't stand either one, or their crappy "acting" but if you go with a known freak, then you probably can figure out there is some freaky shit in their past.
whatever happened to that beautiful voluptuous gorgeous women from Gia and Tomb Raier....
AJ and BP, meh. I don't hate them and I don't go to their movies but the gossip around them is highly amusing.
I like the *Stop Pay Your Cable Bill* ad next door to Star's shocking cover and prefer to *Read Expert Report Before Buy*... sheer poetry!
*puts self in front of firing squad*
*shoots self anyway*
*shoots and stabs self at same time*
So I went to see Salt.
Lots of action and stunts
Loved the scenes done in New York
Jolie is a really good actress
A few twists in the plot made it interesting to watch
Angie looks older than stated age
Jenifer Garner did it better in the Alias series
Most likely there will be a Salt II
4out5 skeleton arms!
*reports self*
She grosses me out. Her arms and legs are so skeletal, etc. He's a pothead and she's a heroin addict. How they have managed to have all these kids is beyond me. Money can buy anything I guess. Gross.
~~~~~Stupid is as stupid does~~~~~
Why does she always look so filthy? And he always looks like he smells.
And her tattoos. Tattoos destroy any person looks; male or female. IMO
oh please dear god in heaven that i don't believe in please let brandgelina go away. they try way too hard and the idiots inhabiting earth eat it up. pathetic.
Hurry! someone find Andrew Morton, shocking fact: The world is in fact...
round
P.S keep this from Brad
snideychick, you're right, she probably makes Brad feel like she'd fall apart without him - that's what she did with Billy Bob, making him feel like she'd slit her wrists if he didn't dump Laura Dern and move in with her, stat
Her bangs annoy me. Mine do the same thing in humid weather and I have to break out the bobby pins. Get thee to a straightening iron, STAT!
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
Quentin Tarantino was on Stern when Inglourious Basterds came out and said Brad gave him some hash while they were hanging out. So the drug thing probably wouldn't phase him.
But really, isn't this old news?
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Black tape covering the nipples is so cliche... had she thrown a couple of Hello Kitty bandaids or some smiley face stickers on them, I may have been intrigued.
Jesus, she looks hideous there. That dress is all kinds of fugly.
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"69ing while driving is only for professionals" --MK
Submitted by thegobbler on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 10:08am.
#2. Jessica 145 lbs? Since when is that fat? Most North American women are WAYYYY heavier than that.
-No kidding. That's my weight and I'm 5'4", size 6-8 and healthy.
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"But I don't speak liarmouthcuntanese. So who the fuck knows."
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 07/13/2010 - 7:40pm.
And WHY are these photos suppose to shock us? I think the majority already knows she's off her rocker. We can only imagine what she was like BEFORE kids! The past 8 years she's been trying to spin this image that she is a responsible and sane person. Unfortunately her core is just crazy. You can't change THAT many things about yourself in less than a decade .... she's trying to appear as though she know longer finds an interest in knives, blood, cutting, her deep disturbing love for her brother, her drug use,women and being promiscuous. imo.
umm Angelina pretty much told the world about her skanky ways and drug habits back in the day so I dont see how this is shocking news.
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
We all have skeletons in our closet. Right Angie?
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
Everyone knew she did some pretty fucked up things back then. That is why her agents encouraged her to become interested in third world countries. Then she had/adopted all those kids to change her image. I bet they can find some pretty crazy pictures of stoner brad from back in the day. Both of these fucktards are fake.
Submitted by LMA618 on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 11:57am.
Why do they always paint brad as the 'normal' one. I find his pyschosis far more disturbing than hers.
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I don't think he has psychosis or everyone would know about it. Brad Pitt strikes me as a background person who is only as interesting as who he is with. That's why he is far more interesting with Jolie than Aniston. And I am not playing favorites as I am partial to neither. I just call 'em like I see 'em.
Submitted by Squash Posh on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 1:56pm.
Okay, I don't get the attraction to heroin? I mean, I know why you keep taking it once you're addicted. But why start. I get weed (yay) and cocaine..but not heroin. Someone explain.
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I never tried it but hear the first time using is like 1000 orgasms hitting you at once, it is that incredible. After that, the feeling fades the more you use as you try to chase your original feeling and you're already addicted anyway. Long term users have to do it just to feel like their normal selves before the drugs.
Submitted by madam ex on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 2:35pm.
Do you think she didnt tell Brad about her life back then?
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Eh, her life is an open book so how much could Brad find out that would shock him if nothing else in the past has? Nude pics with horses, previous drug use, being too intimate with her brother.. etc.. I doubt these pictures will make him raise an eyebrow. I still think she has lost her hotness from all this weight loss so she probably brings it in the bedroom. Keep a man happy in the bedroom and give him kids (if he wants) and help his public image (which she does), he won't leave her. Ever.
Eh. Even though I don't like her, bringing up someone's past, if she didn't put these out herself that is, is kind of lame. We all deserve to be stupid until around 25. And I don't care that she was a wild kid. I care that she sells herself like a saint despite being the opposite. What about news of her current heroin use? That would be more interesting.
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"But I don't speak liarmouthcuntanese. So who the fuck knows."
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 07/13/2010 - 7:40pm.
Don't kid yourself. Jolie loves this kind of attention and probably released this herself.
It does look like a body bag!
I don't think that's a trash bag. I think it's a body bag full of bones
Im not a fan, but so fucking what, that was before Brad, she was a youngsta, and youngsta's do dumb things, we all like to be fucked and some enjoy a collar and walking on all fours, I know I do, and I also enjoyed the heroin for a while, not smoking it though...WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED IONS AGO?
Do you think she didnt tell Brad about her life back then? When you are close partners, you usually tell alot of your past life, at least I did. Some things yes you do keep till you die, but this is no big deal.
Fucking star must be having a slow week....I wish they would keep her out of the mags, cause that's what keeps her on everyones radar, and makes this cunt so famous, people just can not stop talking about her and its sickening.
Brad Pitt knows all about Angie and he is probably a freak too.
I bet those nannies and body gards have stories to tell about Brad & Angie.
Don't see why these pics would make them break up. I mean she's basically said she was a kinky junkie with weird fetishes, so where the shock comes from?
But I bet those pictures are gonna haunt her when the kids hit their rebellious phases.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Oh for fks sake! Who are they shocking?!? JEZUS WE ALL KNOW THIS SHIT uuhhghahramma. It is precisely because of THIS past behavior that she is on a fking saint level now as a dramatic humanitarian or whatever. Fking smoke and mirrors day, isn't it? Damn.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
The press needs to stop making shit up. What they need to do is find one of their 7 nannies and pay her $2 million to talk. Then we will really get the scoop. We of course will have to put the nanny in Witness Protection after for her safety.
Not a huge fan of Angie, but I thought EVERYONE knew about her heroin use in the past. I don't see how anyone will find any of his unauthorized biography shocking.
Okay, I don't get the attraction to heroin? I mean, I know why you keep taking it once you're addicted. But why start. I get weed (yay) and cocaine..but not heroin. Someone explain.
Oh and that video cracked me up (no pun intended). Millionaires hanging out in a seedy basement.
"In one set, the now-mother of six has black tape over her nipples and a dog leash around her neck. Others show her during a 14-hour heroin-smoking bender."
Ho-hum, doesn't everyone do this at some point in their lives?
*sigh* Boring, married for 22 years, suburban mom here...
Boy, I'm sure glad no pictures survive of my past AND that if they did, I'm not famous enough to have them thrown in my face all the time. It's no wonder they keep their kids sheltered and out of the country if just a simple trip to the checkout aisle of the grocery store could result in their mother's bad choices (which she has been very open about) being thrust into their faces.
I remember filling out a security clearance application to work in a government nuke facility and deciding that "Do you use drugs" really meant "are you using drugs right now, this instant" and calling my equally stonerific brother who also had a security clearance to ask for his advice... which was, if there are no pics, you are in the clear.
Let this be a lesson to all you young twits posting nudie/boozy/stoner pics of yourself on your phones, myspace, etc. .... someday you might be just trying to live your life and those pictures are going to crop up.
much as they bore me, i have to say, who of us doesn't have pics from our teens and 20's we'd rather everyone else not know about? it's not like anyone actually believes angelina was ever a nominee for canonization.
Not a big deal. She has been pretty open about the shit she has done in the past in interviews. Now if these pictures were taken last Tuesday, then that's different.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 12:14pm.
She was born in 75, which would make her 35 this year.
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I have to say: That looks right to me. Everything matches up.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER - capt & tennille
dedicated to these 2 lovebirds
cause you elastic fat asses are jellis
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
thats a really ugly mansion. looks like a section 8 housing villa.
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The villa purchase has been denied. And why would they buy a villa only a few hundred miles from their villa in southern France. Even billionaires don't do that and they're only millionaires.
Submitted by LMA618
Why do they always paint brad as the 'normal' one. I find his pyschosis far more disturbing than hers.
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I agree. I don't think it's a coincidence all his women end up being sickly thin and look so insecure when they're with him. Maybe she's perfect for him because she is quite masochistic and likes to feel that way. I think they're both nutcases.
At least when Jolie was with Billy Bob, she looked relaxed and happy for a while, despite her constant need to show off she's the weirdest, the most special one.
I'm tired of both. Can't they just disappear from this planet? They should buy a house on Pluto.
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Escaping Berlustard dictatorship before it's too late
Ian Helprin already did a shocking expose on this couple and I never heard anything shocking come out of that book.
I'm starting to think that Brad enjoys her insanity.
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I will not be ignored Dan! The musical interlude.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv9Zf4EYP18
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 11:42am.
PS Re: Her age: She MUST be lying lots cuz they say she's 32 which is IMPOSSIBLE. She was 32 3 years ago.
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She was born in 75, which would make her 35 this year.
GOD BLESS THE JOLIE PITTS
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Hope Mr. Morton didn't pay much for these SHOCKING, EXCLUSIVE photos because they have been around for years now and I believe there is a video also of the same drugged out party!! Maybe they weren't shown in England and he missed them.
Somebody please tell me how Star managed to get a picture like that out of all of the pap photos of Angie and Bradley hugging, kissing and smiling at the Salt premiere. They must have searched through 1000s of photos to find this one.
Perhaps this unshocking splay on STAR is only what STAR could print being that is already known and is fueling what the fuck else he has found out.
It's not like a spoiler is gonna be dropped before the book comes out...
And they need another mansion because.....
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Looks like they are really breaking up
http://www.tmz.com/2010/07/28/brad-pitt-angelina-jolie-40-million-italy-...