Kara Out, Steven Tyler & JLo In
Ryan Gaycrest no longer has to squirt WD-40 into Kara DioGodjuststopalready's locked jaw before every show, because word is that the American Idol producers have put all her shit on the curb. TMZ says that the producers have told Kara "We quit you, BITCH" and so she's following Ellen Degeneres out the door.
Apparently, JLo and Steven Tyler are saddling up, because they are the next bitches to ride the dead horse. TMZ's source claims that next season's judges will be Randy Jackson, JLo and Steven Tyler.
Watching Kara Diowhatever was about as much fun as getting a prostate exam from Edward Scissorhands (Actually, besides the fact that your asshole would like an open faced Philly Cheesesteak afterwards, getting a prostate exam from sessy Edward Scissorhands wouldn't be that bad.), so I'm glad that she's gone. Every time she opened her mouth, I just wanted to throw a wrench in there so her gears would get stuck. But replacing her with JLo? JLO! JLo should be a judge on Tone Deaf Idol, not American Idol.
And I'm all about Steven Tyler as a judge. Wherever there's a trainwreck, you will ALWAYS find Steven Tyler there with a conductor's hat on his head. This should be good.
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Submitted by chaka1 on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 9:30am.
They need to bring back the big fat black girls who can SANG, let the gay boys be GAY, and focus on contestants who actually have star quality and personality. I usually quit watching after the audition shows because the people who make it to the finals are so damn lame. Also, they only need to do one show a year or every other year. They don't even give last year's star time to develop.
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I agree, I watched this until Lakisha Jones (I think she was in the same season with Daughtry and Eliott Yamin). She was really GOOD.then that pepper hair guy won. and I refused to watch the show again...AI was good in the past but it went downhill. especially with Paula and Simon out, there's nothing exciting about the show anymore.
I'll just wait till Simon's show is on air. hopefully he will take Paula under his wing so I can see the fuckery again.
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This is exactly why I don't pinky swear on shit anymore. It means nothing. This is why you should bind all your contracts with a peeny swear (or clitty swear, depending on the situation). It's the only way.
- MK, July 4th 2010
I can't see this working either, but mostly because Idol's gone belly up in terms of viewer interest. Stephen Tyler wants to raise his entertainment profile to the level Brett Michaels, and JLo knows how to keep herself relevant, but whatever star power she has won't rescue a sinking ship. Nice try, but I think Idol's doomed. It had it's run anyway. When Simon and Paula left, they took the integrity of the show with them.
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"I'm not funny. What I am is brave."
~Lucille Ball~
Last season was SO pathetic -- now everybody's jumping ship. NOT a good sign.
And JLo and Lipps Tyler? How far have THEY sunk? Steven Tyler is a rock god (or at least I THOUGHT he was). And, I remember that it wasn't too long ago that JLo was A-list and her own private nipple tweaker on set. Now she's judging a TV talent show? Pathetique. Guess her LooBooTahns are being traded in for 9 West.
BOO!!
Poor Randy. Being stuck with a no talent hack and a junkie old fart who is probably broke so he takes any gig he can get. They should just end the show and go out on top instead of sinking down in the ratings.
jennifer Lopez is a very minor talent who got very lucky. She has very little of quality to show for her many years in the business. This is an absolute disgrace.
Submitted by Infamous on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 10:41am.
Steven Tyler?!
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My sentiments exactly.
Altho - the idea of watching JLo and Steven Tyler interact is pretty amusing.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
oh my god jazzfish-
yes to Porn Idol and triple YES!! to your choice of judges!
(only two weeks to the Hasselhoff roast with L.Lamp as roastmaster - can.not.wait.)
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Dark-sided!
JLo = lateral move to bring a new Paula 2.0 to Idol.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
This is what happens when Paula Abdul leaves...shit just goes straight to hell.
We got her majesty, Betty White on SNL, Idol is nothing...
Can we all start the chant?
Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza Liza
LIZA MINNELI
HELL YEA show needs gaying up
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
@Infamous
Steven Tyler is the rainbow!
http://www.dlisted.com/node/34780
but JLO?? JLO???? I'd rather have Jessica Simpson play Paula. Can you imagine the stupid things coming out of her mouth?
Steven Tyler?!
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Steven Tyler is a music legend, so fine. But Jlo? Bitch can't sing. She can't even carry a tune in a bucket. End the shit already Fox!
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"Whoever it is needs to come down to the subways in NYC in August. With every ho wearing flip-flops, it sometimes smells like a family of horseflies died in a 2-week-old pot of fondue." MK
Submitted by nono on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 10:05am.
A lot of it was body language, nono. Kara was practically in Simon's lap to be as far away from Ellen as she could be. She barely even looked at her. And she would engage with Randy and Simon, while rarely saying anything to Ellen directly. Kara seemed like an insecure Alpha female! Like with Paula gone, she had seniority! LOL!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP . PERSON."
Charles Manson
CLove was in the running to join a few seasons ago. I say get Chef from South Park off the panel and replace him with Courtney. She and Steven Tyler can ladel each other with vodka and vicodin each show and provoke JLo's cuntiness toward epic levels. The only contestants who will make it to the finals will be fat-assed cholitas and trainwreck Taylor Momsen types and it will be amazing.
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 9:57am.
I hate Kara with the passion of 10,000 suns, but I never noticed her being mean to Ellen. Maybe because I was entranced by her lockjaw...how was she mean to her? I am really curious...
ellen was totally fired. imo they jumped the shark when the soul patrol guy won, and then when they had the audacity to fuck with paula. the combo of paula, randy and simon had incredible chemistry.
I think this shit is rigged. We all know reality TV isn't real so why would AI be any different, especially since there are big profits to consider.
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19 Cats and Counting!
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What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764, in walking with my
Sorry, no Simon, no Idol. Out of all of them, his comments never blew sunshine. If he gave a compliment, he meant it.
I felt so badly for Ellen, because Kara was so intentionally mean to her. It's hard enough being the new guy. I am so happy that Kara is going to have to get a real job now.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
"Watching Kara Diowhatever was about as much fun as getting a prostate exam from Edward Scissorhands (Actually, besides the fact that your asshole would like an open faced Philly Cheesesteak afterwards, getting a prostate exam from sessy Edward Scissorhands wouldn't be that bad.)"
OK, Michael, darling. While I agree that Kara sucked, that Philly cheesesteak image is too much for my imagination. It feels like a couple of days ago when my husband told me he brought home porn, and when I settled in for a nice light sessy romp, it was nothing but cum shot after cum shot after cum shot, on and on. Oh shit...Hurk, hurk, needless to say, he went to sleep with a dry dick that night. I need a brain scrub. Just thought I'd share, I hate to suffer alone.
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If I have to come back here it's gonna get fuckin ugly.
I actually think J Lo is a good choice. She'll probably bring some bitchiness and I think the fact that she was never that talented is a good thing. She didn't just make it because of her incredible talent - -she made it because she was savvy and worked the shit out of what she had. She strikes me as someone who understands what works and what doesn't in the music biz. Although. She did come out with that god awful Louboutins song.
I'm pro-Steven Tyler. He knows his shit PLUS he is going to be drugged up every day like Paula. Win-win.
I thought Ellen sucked on Idol. She was like a fish out of water. However, I thought there was some real talent last season (yes, I watched). I LOVE Crystal Bowersox and liked Lee too.
So yeah, I will watch.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
New name for the show "The Dog, The Diva & The Decrepit"
Well, J-Lo wins here because she has a dried up young mummy who is a better singer than her at home and a dried up old mummy who is a better singer than her at work. The sad part is after the mass auditions and the first eliminations, all of the contestants will be better than singers than her.
"She can always depend on her butt," said 1998.
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Google me, tramp.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Albert-Kai-Lu/1822227818
So Steven has fallen off the wagon again eh? He has to have to take this fucking gig. Thanks for shitting on the last shred of credibility Aerosmith had Stevie. He better be fucked up big time to make this shit watchable.
JHo? Christ. That bitch can't sing so how in the fuck can she judge?
So now they have two useless fucks and Tyler. Pull the plug on this bitch already.
This is stupid. I don't get why people keep watching this shit. I couldn't tell you who won any of these aside from Kelly Clarkson.
Time to pull the plug on this bullshit, especially when you're hiring the likes of JLo, who couldn't release a record without the magic of studio cleanup and autotune to make her wretched voice marketable.
Gave up on this fucking mess when they picked the old guy with the "soul patrol." Now he's in a touring company doing "Grease." Show business hell.
JHo will be a disaster. Tyler is really Paula 2.0 and will be constantly drunk/high.
FAIL. The whole show has gone to shit and last season was about as exciting as a boob squeeze over a sweater. Never thought I'd miss Paula.
Although anything that further pushes J-Ho career into the crapper is a-okay by me.
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped"
- Elbert Hubbard
They need to bring back the big fat black girls who can SANG, let the gay boys be GAY, and focus on contestants who actually have star quality and personality. I usually quit watching after the audition shows because the people who make it to the finals are so damn lame. Also, they only need to do one show a year or every other year. They don't even give last year's star time to develop.
Time to start Porn Idol, where young hopefuls try to push the limits to make the top twelve!
Judges: Lisa Lampanelli, Mel Gibson, and Larry King
Do people still watch AI? I gave up on that mess years ago. Never hear anything about the winners. I hear more about Clay Gaykin (a runner up!) than any winners in the last few years. Simon was smart to leave a show before it's a total farce.
They obviously want a whole new show because they realize the ship is sinking.
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I Love You More
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They need to rename that show Irrelevant Idol. JLo is a useless waste of perfectly good Amazonian ass. I never understood how she became famous. I think they invented the auto tuner to launch her career. As for Steven Tyler, they'll be lucky if he shows up and doesn't fall off the stage.
ours sluttily,
Ray-z
makes about as much sense as
a fking screen door on a
damn submarine
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
It should be fun to have a drugged out mess on the show again, causing all sorts of crazy sh&t. Too bad JeLlo will suck the life out of everything.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 8:47am.
I think Ellen was fired too. I don't believe for a minute that it suddenly occurred to her, shortly after taking the job, that she had to give her opinions about the performers and sometimes it wouldn't be so great.
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I would guess it was a mutual decision. I think Ellen regretted joining the minute Simon announced he was quitting. I also think she knew they would let her go and just pushed it forward to save some face.
the silverliner in this mess is that this will be the last season of that god-awful show, I bet. JLo will give it the kiss of death like she does to all her movies and in turn AI will be the last nail in her career's coffin. The only advise she can provide to idol-wannabes is how to work the ho stroll as hard as they can despite a lack of discernible talent beyond shaking a big ass and painfully trying to make sessy face with an open-mouth. At least Steven Tyler is a real performer and has been around for decades.
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"A man has so much more to offer...you know what I mean?" - Blanche Devereaux
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Submitted by Raul Duke on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 8:55am.
Kinda like watching the 3 Stooges without Curly.
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And in fewer colors.
Is someone going to get Steven Tyler a sandwich? He is looking spiky.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Since Season 5 (Daughtry and Underwood), this show is insipid after the train-wreck tryouts are over.
I need to see these three together.
Tex Perkins.
Google him you dumb fuck!
Kinda like watching the 3 Stooges without Curly. *********************************************************************************** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRY2hio9V2g
So MK, why don't you tell us how you really feel about Kara. lol
I think Ellen was fired too. I don't believe for a minute that it suddenly occurred to her, shortly after taking the job, that she had to give her opinions about the performers and sometimes it wouldn't be so great.
She tried HARD to get that job in the first place. It just doesn't make sense that she didn't like it a few weeks after taking the position.
I think that because Ellen is really popular right now with her talk show that they gave her the ok to announce she quit instead of just waiting for them to say they fired her, like Kara DioWhoIsThisBitchAnyway.
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"It`s so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab." - Lindsay Lohan
JLO?
shes got the voice of a croaking frog and zero sense of humor and personality-anyway-how they gonna make room for her ego?
Stephen Tyler and Paula has possibilities and at least they can pool their vicodin.
NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Good God not J-low!! She won't last long there (hopefully), I'll tell you what. And Steven Tyler looks like the love child of Janice Dickinson & Mr. Ed, lol!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Berra →←
@ Submitted by The Mad Catter on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 8:20am.
I was wondering why the fuck Ellen joined because the show is already a joke.
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I love Ellen but when she joined the show I lost a little respect for her. Was it just about the $? She had no background in music, at least the 4 other judges (including Paula) are/were in the music industry. Not that I watch the show but that was just poor casting putting Ellen on the show. Whatever who cares. moving on.
Fugazi!!!" love it! How do you say "bankrupt" in Italian? (borrowed from WhiskeyTango)
This show makes MILLIONS of dollars for Fox every year...they won't give this shit up until they are forced to ask Heidi Montag and Bombshell McGee to judge...and even then that's questionable.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Steven Tyler? The Mother Fucking Rainbow? Hell, yes, I will watch this mess.
"I'm baaaaaaccccckkkk in the saddle a..."
*falls off stage*
I can see the appeal of "Idol" for Jlo. She fell ass backwards into money and fame when her only talent is dancing. She needs to stay relevant so it's a good pub move for her.
J. Lo looks like a frazzled mare whinnying in the summer heat. "She's a total Monet".
--------------------------------------
19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764, in walking with my