Montana Fishburne Is Doing It All Wrong
You can take Kim Kardassian's name off the list of the Most Useless Pieces of Trash in the World, because I've just learned that she actually does serve a purpose to a humanity! Kim is teaching the young ladies out there that you can reach for the stars for reaching for the peen and sticking it in your snatch on camera! TMZ reports that Laurence Fishburne's 19-year-old daughter Montana will star in her first fuck film for Vivid Entertainment.
Montana's reasoning for wanting to get into porn really doesn't make a lot of sense. Montana said, "I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape."
If Montana wants to follow in Kim's exact steps, then she's doing it all wrong. You don't just blatantly sign up for porn. This is how you do it:
1. Stick your nose up the snatch of some trick who is famous for doing nothing (ala Parasite Hilton) and trail behind them as close as possible so the paparazzi doesn't cut you out of the picture.
2. Make an incredibly boring sex tape with some asshole with two first names who is only on TV because of his sister. Oh, and let him go pee pee times on you.
3. Secretly leak the tape onto the internet.
4. Make sure you're at the same salon where Ryan Gaycrest gets his daily highlights done when you break into a flood of fake tears after finding out that thousands of people are watching you lay there like a dead guinea pig while getting boned. Gaycrest will feel sorry for you and give you a reality show on E!.
5. Get so much plastic surgery to the point where it looks like the only human words you know are: "We come in peace."
I'm sure I missed a few steps, but Kim Kardassian will fill that in when she learns that she's a role model to girls and releases a step-by-step slutorial on how to be just like her!
Here's Montana Fishburne and porn star Brian Pumper talking about making her first porn:
At least Montana Fishburne doesn't have to go by something else, because she's already got a perfect porn name. And Montana's future movies will be called: Eat The Cock Anna Mae, Higher Whoring and Ass Action.
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Too much retarded trash in this country (and the UK!!) This Fishburne ho should have gone to college instead of making porn. Her dad would have paid for it and she wouldn't have even had to jerk old men off to pay back her loans like I did. Real talk.
One also has to wonder, how well you can do making a sex tape when you look exactly like your father, Laurence Fishburne. If she was really smart and entrepreneurial, she would have asked Daddy to make one himself, release it, and see how it did. We’re sure it would elicit a similar response, or gag reflex.
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2010/08/its-time-to-see-montana-fishburn...
In reference to the sentence "let him go pee pee times on you" - I'm pretty sure the rumours of a golden shower scene in Kim's tape were 100% false, according to interviews with Kim at the time.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? She's a beautiful girl, and she grew up rich. Why not break into modeling, or acting, singing or fashion design...ANYTHING!!!! The idea that a person would want to do this when they have $$$$ at their disposal just bugs the fuck outta me. This is a career that I see someone who grew up working class or poor to seek. What a shame.
Uhh, couldn't her dad just hook her up with a job?
Dats what it eeez.
So lemme ax you, you like a female and datz what ahm talkin about like you in fron of da camera and schitt an so what's like a first time female think about gettin all freaky and creamy on da camera fo da firs time? Know wham saying?
My mom made an excellent point about this situation when I filled her in. Moms wanted to know where this child's parents were her entire life that they didn't notice how low her self-esteem was. She said this was more about how much the kid hates herself than how much she hates her dad. Her main point was that fame-seeking young people try all kinds of ways to get their name in lights before doing sex tapes, so why is a sex tape the first thing this kid did?
I thought I saw the Pumper guy in gay porn. Or was it someone else? Anyone else see him too?
This is what is wrong with the world today. Morpheus, come get your daughter.
she looks terrified
The only way the tape would kill is if she did it with her dad.
Otherwise, farm her out to Blue Sky and have her open a fly fishing resort.
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"Chi la fa l'aspetti."
nice body, unfortunate face
LF seems like the type that would slap her upside the head for something like this. Meanwhile, that video makes her seem rather brain dead, doesn't it? So maybe LF already tried that approach and it backfired.
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http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=015_1242106344
"I'm not funny. What I am is brave."
~Lucille Ball~
More and More, we will see Porn as a Legitimate choice for aspiring famewhores.
http://www.sceneoutlines.blogspot.com
Did somebody punch her in the nose? Because it looks fucked up.
Jesus, this Pumper guy needs to lay off the steroids. He looks ridiculous.
Submitted by DR.FUNK on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 11:44am.
Not defending her career path here...but there are far worse paths she could've taken.Like "legitimate" Hollywood actor.That is'nt exactly the route to wholesome enlightenment either.
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Amen to that.. sometimes as human beings we have to learn the hard way. And to wake up and open our eyes to the world sometimes takes a rode less traveled or in this case she's going to work that pussay like a freeway. Either way, the girl is young and very naive, and I feel for her. Something tells me that behind those golden doors of a Hollywood childhood not all was right. At least in the adult industry they are honest about what your getting yourself into, there is no facade. In the so called "legitimate" Hollywood world, these girls go in with big dreams yet they don't realize all the cocks they have to suck, fuck, all awhile leaving their souls behind for Satan to devour.....but hey the perks are great!
Is she cross-eyed? Or is it just the drugs?
So I'm home from work and I finally got to watch the video...W.T.F? That dude is talking about her like that? In public? Looking at her I can tell she has a drug problem. Daddy probably cut her off, and now she's doing porn. Sad.
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"Whoever it is needs to come down to the subways in NYC in August. With every ho wearing flip-flops, it sometimes smells like a family of horseflies died in a 2-week-old pot of fondue." MK
Aww that really SUCKS for Larry!! I had the pleasure of meeting him in NYC--He autographed a copy of my playbill from Thurgood(his one man play that he was PHENOMENAL in) He was such a nice and personable man..
"It is better to have loved and lost dick than to have never had dick at all."
==Dick Solomon
Third Rock From the Sun
Well, she's got a porn star name already. It makes sense.
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
That dude is like the Mr. T of porn with all that damn jewelry. Listening to him talk about fucking really made me seriously consider a life of celibacy. No, not really but he is still a disgusting douchebag and Montana is just fucking stupid. Once it's out there, there's no reeling it back in, sweetie.
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"I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya, I'm just gonna bash your brains in."
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She looks just like her dad. Scary.
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"69ing while driving is only for professionals" --MK
Snideychick sez:
In five years she will be on a boat on the Riviera, stoned out of her mind and flashing her cooch a la Tara Reid.
Sad.
I had to stop after 30 seconds. That guy is stoned out of his mind and he's gross. If you smoke weed and you don't think it affects how you sound, listen to 30 seconds of this idiot. This is exactly what you sound like. Now, I do think it should be legalized and regulated just like booze, but that doesn't mean every drunk should get to holla at us either.
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My heels are broken! I can't move!
Oh my god, she needs therapy if she's using that Kardashawhore as an example. Seriously a sex tape at 19? I turn 19 in december and I start my first year of university this fall & I couldn't even imagine doing shit like that! Hahaha I think I was practically the only chick in my class that was a virgin. (Keep in mind I was in honor classes so even the smart kids were fooling aroud) Hahaha I bet I'll by the only virgin at my uni too. I saw the video and omg Yuck!
That Pumper man is such a creeper. I feel bad for that young lady, she's headed in the wrong direction. She said she had a lot of at home experience, that's nasty! That means she was taping herself and her parents were probably home!
She looks like that Akealah and the Bee girl.
Wait wasn't her dad in that movie? lmfao!
Ad Astra Per Aspera: To the stars through difficulty.
What kind of fucked up black guy be namin his daughter for a state full of white people?
This is very disturbing. She needs help.
"I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape."
*sobs*
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
"It was really nervewracking at first but I have a lot of at home experience...."????? What the hell. Somethin' is seriously wrong at Laurence's house that's all I can say. His teenage daughter is a wreck. I hope her fish makes that muscle bound chump's dick burn. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Submitted by CuriouserAndCur... on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 2:05pm.
Sounds like Daddy cut off the money she was using for drugs.
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I agree. The parents probably tried some toughlove, cutting her off financially, and she's showing them that not only will she fuck for drugs, but she'll use daddy's name to get it out there in front of the non-porn public to shame him.
Submitted by TiredofthisCrap on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 1:42pm.
Everyone in the porn industry was not molested.
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Thank you
poor Larry. on his birthday, too.
he's had a great career, it sucks (haha) to see her do this.
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I didn't ask to be hated
I just don't mind being a bitch.
(Courtney Love)
Why does it look like they're filming that at the Mickey D's at our local Super WalMart?
Bjork You on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 10:31am.
Talk about a "so-take-that-Daddy!" move.
How dreadful.
How mortifying.
On the plus side, I'm sure we can count on never seeing a Rumer Willis sex tape.
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ARE YOU TRYING TO PUT IDEAS OUT THERE? come on rumer could be reading this blog as we speak!
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"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
Stan Hooper: I had the exact same reaction when I read this. Chris Rock is right. Nevertheless, I like Laurence Fishburn> It could very well be a situation where he and the mother did all the right things: couseling, rehab, whatever, and she's an idiot. I have a niece who came from a great home but is a completely toxic person.
Well she certainly got her name out there.
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Dad must be SO proud.
Sounds like Daddy cut off the money she was using for drugs.
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 12:57pm.
And why shouldn't we? Things aren't what they used to be and everybody wants fame and fortune now. People choose ridiculous, misguided ways to achieve it.
I remember back in the early nineties Jody (I'm lookin for a new love) Watley's sister made porn movies. She wanted to be a star.
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Exactly. Straight up porn never worked and still doesn't work. Faux "it got leaked" porn (what they do now) + i am larry fishburn's daughter would've = famous but she didn't get it.
Oh thank gawd this video won't play on my iPhone...
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sit your $5 ass down before i make change...
What kills me is she's all "I know what to do and I do it well...". Please child. I didn't know HALF the shit I know as a 36 year old woman. I have better sex now than I ever did at half my age. You're just letting men use you up like a cum bucket. And you're not poor, or come from a shit family, so all you're doing is making yourself look like an idiot. I know your mama taught you better than this shit! Come on now!
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"Sarah Jessica Parker has the same exact cardigan as my abuelita. BITER!" -- MK
What a dumb bitch! I really hope she takes MK's advice because SHE IS DOING IT ALL KINDS OF WRONG!!! (unless she wants to be a porn star then kadooozzzzze)!
Who the hell would want to see that sasquatch fucking?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Everyone in the porn industry was not molested.
This is what happened:
Montana: Daddy can you help me get some roles in Hollywood?
LF: Sweet heart I think it is better if you get work on your own.
Montana: F*ck you, dad. I'll show you the roles I can get on my own!
SMH
Why do people want to be famous so bad these days? I rather be rich.
When you cross over to the Dark Side, they always want a "sacrifice". This must be Larry's because his role on TV will never be the same. No one will look at CSI now without shame or disgust.
And how twisted is his daughter's mind from verbal & physical abuse in her earlier years??? Even Tracy Lord said she tried to break into "legit" show business for years & got rejected "before" she went into porn. She did it reluctantly because she couldn't get in. Now this from Fishburne's daughter? Man, she will regret this in dust and ashes.
Oh yeah, she already did that . . . on screen!
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LOL... re: Kim Kardassian. LOVE IT!
5. Get so much plastic surgery to the point where it looks like the only human words you know are: "We come in peace."
"Which lever do I pull to get crushed by a safe?"
Chris Rock said it best, your job as a father is to prevent your daughter from dancing on a pole.
Laurence failed miserably as a parent.
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She's a fameasexual. Bitch will lick on anything if it gets her a blurb in Star Magazine. -- Michael K.
That was one of the most uncomfortable, unpleasant videos I've ever attempt to sit through. Yuck.