Charlie Sheen Is Not Going To Jail
Charlie Sheen won't spend one second in a jail cell for celebrating the holiday season by beating on his wife Brooke Mueller in Aspen, Colorado on Christmas Day. Lady Justice better change her e-mail address right now, because White Oprah just popped a Dexedrine and is about to go off on her in 1,000 words or more!
TMZ reports that as part of a plea deal with the Pitkin County D.A., Charlie pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor assault charge and was sentenced to 30 days in rehab instead of the clink. And since Charlie already spent time at Promises in Malibu earlier this year, he will receive credit for time served. That means Charlie simply has to sashay into Promises, sign in, tell the receptionist that she has nice tits, sign out and then stroll back out to his Mercedes where a call girl with an 8-ball on her lap is waiting for him.
Charlie was also ordered to 3 months probation and 36 hours of anger management (which he's already completed).
So Charlie tried to shank his wife in the neck and his punishment is a day trip to Malibu? The moral of this story is that if you ever want to do bad shit just make sure you have at least 10 IMDB credits to your name and a parking spot at Warner Bros so you don't have to do any real time!! YAY!
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It's all corrupt! Not just for Celebs. Those with the money do whatever they please and we all bend over and take it.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 08/02/2010 - 9:25pm.
Of course he's not.
this is just fucking ridiculous. I can't take this corrupt celebrity justice crap anymore.
"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
He sure has a horseshoe up his ass. Karma is a bitch, as we all know.
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 3:17am.
We are glad Charlie got off and we HATE all fish, esp young fish. They are so icky and yucky and stinky!
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*yawn*
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
I never thought I'd say this:
LINDSAY WUZ ROBBED.
so lets see here, it is o.k. to assualt your wife with a knife, have a history of drug abuse and whores...beat up your wife's on a regular basis (that is just part of the joy of being Charlie)...keep using drugs, reproduce like a pig in heat, cheat on all of them with skank ho's...and get nothing but a mere pat on the hand (not even close to a slap) and be "sentenced" to a rehab in Malibu were you can come and go as you please while you make shitloads of money on your show which should have been cancelled eons ago. Charlie on behalf of the universe YOU SUCK and I hope karma comes a knockin soon...it CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH...ASSHOLE!!
Somewhere in Australia, Mel Gibson is skipping, doing a little yeppeeyayee dance while dialing Yale Galanter.
Btw Allred was pissed at the case outcome. And I'm really pissed at Allred. Gonna go to garden, eat some worms now.
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There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
--Buddha
when will justice catch up with this asshole? the day he murders someone like phil spector did?
_____________________________________________
sit your $5 ass down before i make change...
I'm sure the 1 person in the entire universe who actually watches "Two and a Half Men" is relieved to hear this.
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 8:22am.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 8:17am.
I always believe that bad people will get their ass whooped eventually and for the most part it's true.
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it seemed to catch up to O.J.
Yep! And the best thing is we didn't have to do a damn thing!
Eff you, Charlie!
Come on Karma.............
And yet another example of celebrity justice.
*kicks puppy*
Submitted by Green Is Good on Mon, 08/02/2010 - 9:49pm.
Mel Gibson is probably trying to get Charlie on the phone. Charlie knows how to get away with shit. Especially when the wife has a sketchy past.
Heh! Yup.
And people will continue watching his stupid TV show. Unfuckingbelievable. Hohan must be pissed.
"That means Charlie simply has to sashay into Promises, sign in, tell the receptionist that she has nice tits, sign out and then stroll back out to his Mercedes where a call girl with an 8-ball on her lap is waiting for him."
And that is why I heart MK.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 8:17am.
I always believe that bad people will get their ass whooped eventually and for the most part it's true.
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it seemed to catch up to O.J.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
What a crock.
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
We are still happy Charlie goes free and we are always happy when something bad happens to a fish, although unfortunately this seldom happens!
Most of the responses here seem to be from fish!
(= yuck!)
Submitted by Blahfrickinblah on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 7:19am.
For the love of God, if there is any justice this douchebag will soon have a slow progressing but terminal case of lung cancer.
I always believe that bad people will get their ass whooped eventually and for the most part it's true.
Ha! Reading MK's post on this, I keep thinking:
Why are people not more immune to the hype? Like, why does it keep being this leverage game...when is morality going to become more powerful than money. Wow - I'm in a super shitty mood today....
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
Shocked that a textbook narcissist in LA got off charges that would ruin the lives of us mere mortals. I agree with blahfickeing blah
s comment- but let's up the ante and perhaps he can get anal cancer. I hear that is a tad worse...
@Submitted by McMann and Tate on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 7:05am. - best comment. EVER.
And Patri-CE CAMPBELL, your fish shtick has become stale. Nobody thinks it is funny, your use of 'we' all the time is tired and unless you are a test tube baby you were belched out of a giant, stinking, loose fish. Unfortunately you didn't get thrown back. Get some new fuckin material already.
funny(i think it is, anyway) article written about Charlie...
http://www.cracked.com/blog/charlie-sheen-is-invincible/
OT: i think it is
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by Blahfrickinblah on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 7:19am.
....
_______________________________________
I get the sneaking suspicion that you don't like Charlie Sheen much... =)
He is a total dirtbag though. I'm not sure why/how he hasn't been bitten in the arse financially for it.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
For the love of God, if there is any justice this douchebag will soon have a slow progressing but terminal case of lung cancer. I hope he travels the world searching for treatments with all his money only to find out that his celebrity status and money doesn't mean shit. The justice system will never punish his ass so hopefully karma will do the job. Fuck you Charlie, fuck you right in the ass sideways with a rusty chainsaw.
Stuff like this makes me start feeling sorry for Oksana and any other gold digger messing with these celebrity assholes. He assualted her, and he doesn't even have to face the consequences.
Charlie goes free, but the poor people like Jeremy London's alleged kidnapper is STILL sitting in a jail cell, while Jeremy lands a paid gig on Celebrity Rehab. Outrageous.
Kind of free
Kind of wow!!
Charlie...
He can't escape the powers of nicotine.
________________
I Love You More
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We are glad Charlie got off and we HATE all fish, esp young fish. They are so icky and yucky and stinky!
Wonder about the current balances in the bank accounts of all these fine up standing attorneys and judges working so diligently in Pitkin County CO DA office? Justice is blind so I'm sure she can't see they forgot to make a deposit into her account.
Snideychick sez:
And this is why Oksana released tape dayafterdayafterdayafterday because she KNEW that Mel had the potential to get away with murdering her.
Here's hoping Charlie meets the hottest, most lucious, most evil and conniving Russian gold digger who has KGB training. Bitch wouldn't take a second thought on slitting his throat.
Charlie strikes me as a Patrick Bateman kind of dude that recites Wall Street or Young Guns quotes while banging a chick snorting coke, and watching himself in the mirror.
________________________________________
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
The Aspen Courts Barney Fifed-uped the case so badly that Charlie's doing them a favor
So the key to life is multiple IMDB credits below your name. I so chose the wrong path...
I saw this mess earlier on tv. That smarmy bastard blowing the kiss was too much. Asshole.
Ass-pen, CO, is, from my understanding, a town wholly populated by rich people and their hookers. Its government is something called a Home Rule Municipality, which I've never heard of before (which is no big deal, I'm not that well-informed), but from what I'm reading on Wikipedia (I know, but it can't be all wrong, can it?), the town's government pretty much doesn't have to answer to anyone outside of the town.
So I'm not too surprised that the Aspen judge let him off so lightly. The judge probably has his own favorite hooker who he pays a premium to let him beat her ass up.
What a dick. I bet within a year he'll fucking marry another golddigger who ignores his very public criminal record. And the next one he might just kill in Aspen, because they obviously don't care about non-kazillionaires.
I wish someone would take Charlie Sheen out. He is a smug ass piece of shit. He is a horrific actor and I don't know how he got out of doing jail time.
Charlie Sheen knows alot of secrets...and he's very good at keeping quiet. This allows him to abuse his wives,girlfriends, anonymous hookers, and have the sh*tiest show on TV while getting paid the highest salary to act in it.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 08/02/2010 - 10:06pm.
I wish there were some Mel Gibson like tapes of Charlie...being coked out can make you INSANE. I had an ex stand outside my window one night and scream at me for hours when he was all coked up. (And like a dumb ass I DIDN'T call the cops).
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Koko, even if there was a tape, Charlie hasn't pissed the Hollywood jews off, so he's still going to have a career.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
In the spirit of Norm MacDonald:
its official, wife beating is legal in the state of Colorado!!
Fuck Charlie and his crack whore ex! Both are made for each other!!
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She's a fameasexual. Bitch will lick on anything if it gets her a blurb in Star Magazine. -- Michael K.
Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 08/02/2010 - 9:38pm.
" This will start backfiring, if it hasn't already, as each of the 50 contiguous states are reporting a minumum of 87% increase in crimes as compared to 2 years ago. "
--An 87% increase in crime? Is that what you meant?
As for backfiring, I'm so cynical and angry about that. Celebs, especially those who abuse women, have always gotten away with things.
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In my neck of the woods, men who will do ANYONE are known as Donkey Dicks.
He-WHORE,he'WHORE.” -A.cotw, DListed
I wish there were some Mel Gibson like tapes of Charlie...being coked out can make you INSANE. I had an ex stand outside my window one night and scream at me for hours when he was all coked up. (And like a dumb ass I DIDN'T call the cops).
____________________________________________
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 08/02/2010 - 9:32pm.
If this would have been any normal dude they would have still been in jail (and if he was a minority would have probably already sentenced to YEARS). That poor dude in Palm Springs is still in trouble for 'kidnapping' Jeremy london when all they did was take ecstacy and smoke crack.
--Are you serious? Do you have any links? That is such blatant/elitism it makes me sick!! And those London bros aren't even elite!
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In my neck of the woods, men who will do ANYONE are known as Donkey Dicks.
He-WHORE,he'WHORE.” -A.cotw, DListed
That freakin' Emilio Estevez leaves a trail of bodies everywhere he goes. Fuckin' murdering maniac.
O My GOD this guy makes me so angry. And have you guys seen his shit pile of a TV show? How the hell is it the number one comedy in America? This fool makes me ill. Blech.
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In my neck of the woods, men who will do ANYONE are known as Donkey Dicks.
He-WHORE,he'WHORE.” -A.cotw, DListed
What a joke. He's just as ugly on the outside as he is on the inside.
I guess it helps if the victim is not more famous than you are?
Or in fact, is much less famous then you?
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
"SOMETHING IN THE MILK AIN'T CLEAN"
Chris brown beat rihanna, his career is over.
Charlie beat his wife (plus has a history of beating his partners) and he gets a $1 million raise.
i guess you have marry them before beating them, hey look at Ike and Tina
:(
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
Jesus, his lawyers must be racking up those billable hours. They'll be able to retire off of keeping his ass out of the slammer.