Tuesday, August 3rd 2010
NOT QUEEN ARETHA!!!!
Everybody gather in a circle and touch areolas (don't worry the rash on mine cleared up), because we need to pray the chichi gods that Queen Aretha will soon be back in full form! ABC News reports that Queen Aretha was forced to cancel two concerts in Brooklyn scheduled for this weekend after she fell down in the tub. You better not make any jokes about how she tripped on her nipple or how you're going to send condolence cards to the bath tub's family. DON'T!
Aretha is now recovering at home. The organizer for the Brooklyn dates said he is hoping Aretha reschedules for the fall.
Fluff up a chichi, rest your head and get better, Aretha!
(Thanks Mel)
• 
Thank you Triston!!! Your response was the best. Wish it was the only 1. lol
P.S.
Gina...what the fuck ever...you are the only one who thinks like u do.
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@GinaOliviaMallory: As has been said before, EDUCATE YOURSELF!!
"Although renowned for her soul recordings, Franklin is also adept at jazz, blues, R&B and gospel music. Rolling Stone magazine ranked Franklin No. 1 on its list of The Greatest Singers of All Time.[4]
Franklin is one of the most honored artists by the Grammy Awards, with 18 competitive Grammys to date, and two honorary Grammys. She has scored a total of 20 No. 1 singles on the Billboard R&B Singles Chart, one of which also became her first No. 1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100: "Respect" (1967). "I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" (1987), a duet with George Michael, became her second No. 1 on the latter chart. Since 1961, Franklin has scored a total of 45 "Top 40" hits on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Franklin has the most million selling singles of any female artist with 14. Franklin has the record for the most #1 R&B albums female.
In 1987, Franklin became the first female artist to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame."
Check yourself before you wreck yourself, stupid trick!
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Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —President George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
There are some ignunt ass posts in here who obviously have NO idea why this woman is called The Queen of Soul.
Go do some research, ignorant bitches!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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And 42 years later ha!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3wI5npWAXA&feature=related
Sorry I'm having fun now. This is mah favrite, I think:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQtNoCHJnm0
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
Yes - that was 43 years ago.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
@GinaOlivia:
Let's give this natural woman:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yi6dqhi8Ptw&feature=related
A little
Respect:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0XAI-PFQcA
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
Gawd I guess I'm the only person here that thinks this bitch is scary ugly and has a horrible voice. She's a diva?? Why? There are way better talents out there. How is this THING a legend??
Fuck U labellavienna and ChimpBitch.
Wonderful.
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Another great posting, as usual. Shout out to Michael K. Some stars you simply don't fuck with, that's why I love this blog.
www.thatisnotnews.blogspot.com
Ew...just stop trying already
www.myspace.com/vienna_rossi
Aie. Heart attack, diabetes, choking on a chicken bone waiting to happen!
"You better not make any jokes about how she tripped on her nipple or how you're going to send condolence cards to the bath tub's family."
ROFL! I love you, MK.
For the sake of truth, it wasn't so much a tub as a watering hole. Fortunately the other mammoths were able to push her out with their tusks.
What actually caused her to fall? Was there a Snickers bar floating in the water?
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
@Angel LOL I bet she did and thats why she need to skip some tour dates! She cant go on looking like Taylor Momsen!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
She fell but survived the drowning thanks to her pontoons.
I hope no one was on the floor below her. the ceiling probably caved in.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Whoever it is needs to come down to the subways in NYC in August. With every ho wearing flip-flops, it sometimes smells like a family of horseflies died in a 2-week-old pot of fondue." MK
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 1:56pm.
Submitted by agirl on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 1:52pm.
I sincerely hope she's OK.
And as soon as she recovers, she is going to track down all you bitches who posted snark about her. She will find you!
You don't want to anger the Aretha. You wouldn't like her when she's angry.
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What will she do? Sing "Poor Unfortunate Soul" to me and turn me into a little shriveld plant with eyes? Having Flotsam and Jetsam watch over me?
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Aretha has noted your snark and you are now on her shit list. Prepare for thy doom.
P.S. LOL at "Poor Unfortunate Souls"
Fabulously talented magnificent woman - hope she's okay, love her.
The organizer for the Brooklyn dates said he is hoping Aretha reschedules for THE FALL.
you are too much, MK.
R.E.S.P.E.C.T motherfuckers!
Submitted by Chirio on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 2:20pm.
So where's the tsunami?
fucking LOL..
aww get well aretha!
@ Team Valtrex, you better start dressing up as a baby carrot soon, Aretha is coming to getchu
Get well, Miss Aretha. The world needs you.
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"Heinous fuckery most foul, lad. Heinous fuckery most foul." ~~Christopher Moore
btw feel better Aretha
Coma Caca!
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They thought she had a concussion but it was just so soft when she landed that she fell right to sleep.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
So where's the tsunami?
Coma Caca!
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I bet she spilled gravy everywhere!!!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
She came through unscathed, but the Mexican on the Cherry Picker that was doing her back was crushed.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I'm just glad she didn't opt for a shower, Niagara Falls is packed with tourists this time of year.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
And TV: I see you've found a new reason to live. That's nice. Aretha should fall down more often:)
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 2:09pm.
ahahahahaha! LMAO at ALL OF YALLZ
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
OMGROFLMAO: I bet she got two big ol' black eyes!
*slaps Pamela*
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
Now her ass has a large crack in it. So does the Earth.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
My brain is totally remixing this visual with that video of Scarlet falling the fuck offa that poor little table.
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I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. - boobxqueen on Octomom's Star cover
I guess her grandchildren won't be able to use the swimming pool until the cracks are fixed.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
She must have a bathtub like Taft. She couldn't fit in a regular one!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Slipping in the tub is no joke! Ill bet she got knocked unconsious by one of her enormous boobs!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
They didn't call 911, they called FEMA.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
And I thought MY shoulders were too broad for spaghetti straps. She must have steel girders underneath that dress to hold the chunk rolls back.
But really now, tubby people falling in the tub is no laughing matter, unless there was an accompanying slide whistle sound when she slipped.
RESPECT, you will give it up for the qween.
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
I bet the first paramedic that showed up said "we're gonna need a bigger boat".
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Turns out she was unharmed, but the deep fried turkey got soggy.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
No real reason to worry...she has two ginormous pillows on her chest.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
This explains the seismic activity recently in California.
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Here There Be Dragons!
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That sucks, Aretha! Feel better darlin.
I fell in the tub once and it was SCARY AS HELL! One second I was standing upright, and the next all I saw was white, because I was looking at porcelain, my body a crumpled pile in the bottom of the tub. It was fucking crazy how fast it happened. And then the pain hit me. I was black and blue and in pain for weeks. Aretha weighs prob about 100 times as me, and she is OLD - so you know she took a hurtin'. HEALING THOUGHTS!
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
That was no tub, that was Lake Superior.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"