Aaaaand It's Over
A few weeks ago, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston conjured up a wave of eye rolls by declaring their recycled love for each other on the cover of UsWeekly. While Bristol and Levi counted their cash on the table, they said something about how they were getting married soon...blah...barf...blah. But cancel the taxidermy wedding cake topper, because Bristol has run off to People to tell them that the wedding is dead! Bristol has quit Levi, because she says he's more interested in humping the spotlight than humping on her.
Speaking from her glass house while holding a giant pot, Bristol said, "It's over. I broke up with him. The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family. He's just obsessed with the limelight and I got played.
Through this whole experience I know I need a man who's going to be completely honest with me and someone who loves me and Tripp and wants to be with him all the time. I also want someone who has religious beliefs and a good family."
What Bristol is really trying to say is that they expected to get a 6-figure reality show deal out of this charade. But when the only deal that landed in their inbox was for a pack of Pampers per episode from Wasilla Public Access, Bristol said fuckit and bounced.
And Bristol needs to stop it with this "I got played" shit. The only bitch here that got played is me, because I'm writing about it! You got played too, because you're reading about it. Hell, the only bitches that aren't getting played are Bristol and Levi. All of us should be on the cover of People with the tagline, "WE GOT PLAYED!"
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Fuck these two brain-dead Alaskan hicks, and their loser parents.
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"69ing while driving is only for professionals" --MK
Palinspeak for "religious beliefs" and a "good family:" Someone who will thump their Bibles, hate gays, preach against sex-ed., birth control even while getting laid outside that holy (and totally straight) institution of marriage.
Like mother, like daughter. Trash overfloweth not too far from the trash can.
She got layed, that's for sure...
@Salacious,
I got em a gift too and everything.
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"One glance at a book and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for 1,000 years. To read is to voyage through time." - Carl Sagan
Aww I was rooting for them! I hope he can win her back.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
I for one didn't get played, cause I didn't give a rats ass about these two stupid kids.
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She's a fameasexual. Bitch will lick on anything if it gets her a blurb in Star Magazine. -- Michael K.
"All of us should be on the cover of People with the tagline, "WE GOT PLAYED!""
...and it better be a 'scratch and sniff' edition....with a picture of me bent over with the caption "KISS MY ASS!!"
go tell it on the mountain!!
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"Yes, you should always make a wish before you blow anything. Know this!" M.K. 05/10
Apparently, no one ever taught old Levi about the fuck & flee!
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Levi would never have been comfortable in that family. It's one thing to have relatives you don't like but this would have been ten fold.
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I Love You More
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Submitted by gina latina on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 11:37pm.
rumor has it that while idiot Bristol and moron Levi were broken up he knocked up his "new" girlfriend. The "new" GF was actually Bristol's BFF and Levi's GF before Bristol stole Levi from her and got knocked up. If that is true then big ups to Karma, and I will now go and smack myself 20 times with my abuelita's chancla for knowing that.
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And you can smack me for knowing that they both deny that he is the father. I read the sister's blog yesterday.
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Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
Having divorced a cheatin ho, it is good, but painful, to do a few last chances just to eliminate all uncertainty.
I never got down with attacking the children of politicians.
Levi is too stupid to see his fame devolves from his palin involvement, and once he's out with the palins, nobody will return his calls and his stupidity will become apparent to him.
Submitted by shandi on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 1:56am.
I heard on the radio that they broke up last week. But reports were saying it is because another girl is pregnant with his baby.
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Exactly. How very alaskan. I bet his fifteen minutes of fame and peen flash is getting him quite a bit of vag from the ho's in alaska.
LOL @ "As The Republitrash Turns" hahahaha omg. and as for bristol and levi, what 2 total jokes. bristol's stupid ass mother must be so glad their fake enGAGment is over, but she's probably also embarrassed. shit, i would be too.
in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please "don't breed or buy while homeless animals die" and support animal shelters!
On Off On Off On Off.......those two were supposed to be Christmas lights.
One would expect the Palin family's 15 minutes to be over by now. In my humble opinion this Sarah person was an embarasment to your politics to begin with. Why prolong the agony?
I heard on the radio that they broke up last week. But reports were saying it is because another girl is pregnant with his baby.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Having just spent a bit of time in Alaska, I'd like to say that this sort of crap is par for the course for Alaskans. While it's not true for everyone who lives up there, I've never seen so many drunk ass people lining up at the courthouse to get restraining orders. Too many guys for not enough girls.
A lot of the men seem to work out of town-fishing or working the oil fields on the northern slope. So girls do double time-working guys on opposite rotations. And the guys go on drinking binges when back in town- get insanely jealous and do crap like throw their cheating ho's in the closet. As soon as those drunken bitches recover from their hangovers and find their keys from any one of the number of beds they've been in the last few days, they march their self righteous lying asses down to 6th street, crying crocodile tears for the judge so they can get restraining orders. Then serve them on their peens, who immediately get frightened about the 2/1 pussy ratio and beg their ugly fat whores for sex again...and the cycle continues next rotation.
Alaska is amazingly pretty, but damn... I have never seen more people with borderline personality disorder/alcoholism/bi-polar/whatever the fuck else you want to throw in here ANYWHERE. In Alasksa, love means having a revolving door on the front of your house. It both saves you when you are so drunk you can't find your keys and makes it easier to throw your drunken ho out before accepting her back in after you've had a few shots. Losers. All of them. I give it another week or two before these two losers are back on top of each other's genitals again.
As The Republitrash Turns...
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Illuminati Monarch Slave, at your service.
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I am so mad at Levi's big-mouth sister! Why didn't she warn us this was coming?
Day-um! We DID get played.
Too bad. they made a cute couple.
rumor has it that while idiot Bristol and moron Levi were broken up he knocked up his "new" girlfriend. The "new" GF was actually Bristol's BFF and Levi's GF before Bristol stole Levi from her and got knocked up. If that is true then big ups to Karma, and I will now go and smack myself 20 times with my abuelita's chancla for knowing that.
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Is this real life? Why is this happening to me? Is this gonna be forever?
Wow, a whole three days longer than I thought it would last. Srsly can the Palin clan please just fade into total anonymity? Sarah Palin is the only political whore who makes Obama's celebutardity look mild.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Guess the reality show fell through. The only ones who are getting played are us, who have to know these people exist at all.
Must've been awful hard for Bristol to wait for the UsWeekly check to clear before running off to People with this scoop.
PetMom is right; please don't judge us all by the Palins. Even before all this crap, 30% fewer Alaskans voted for Mccain/Palin than for Bush/Cheney!
@warmislandsun-Thanks! :)
Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 10:02pm.
Harper's Bizarre had a feature on Bristol last month and apparently she lives in a townhouse Mommy bought for her.
It was a really sickly-sweet article complete with like 5 pages of Bristol all dolled up in designer clothes posing with little Trapper Keeper. I will never buy Harper's Bizarre again for having this twit in their magazine.
Oh my god, she had to move back in with her parents? If it was my only option to get away, I would marry anyone, and I mean ANYONE before I would move back in with Sarah Palin.
Humping the spotlight? Levi? I had no idea. No one had no idea. Not even the people at People mag who wrote that big fat check to Bristol and Levi. Why would Levi want to be a full time media whore? Surely he must have known mama Palin would give him a job milking the cows in the pastures of the White House when she finally got there in 2012. Oh god, who will milk Mildred and Tony the White house cows now?
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2010/08/dont-say-its-so-bristol-palin-an...
p.s- Michael K - you are a genius.
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shoot, just when I thought I would be seeing the whole shindig on My Big Fat Redneck Wedding. No Fair!
Why do I feel like this is all just a grand charade to "explain" another pregnancy?
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This ain't my first time at the rodeo.
"Speaking from her glass house while holding a giant pot..." - love it!
Bristol is really dissing his family. I guess one good diss deserves another.
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tired of hearing about these two redneck dingle-berries
I love you, KidL.
You mean US Weekly and their readers got played ... no sympathy for any of the players.
Submitted by Johnathan C. Frank on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 7:57pm.
Fuck you whores I personally know Bristol and guess what, she made some personal mistakes. She is sweet as hell and would do anything for anyone, even you liberal scum.
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This is ALMOST as good as your claim your mommy was a nurse to a famous actor who had AIDS. (I guess you never heard of HIPAA have you?)
You have a story for every occassion. I am just waiting for someone to bringup THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST so you can share with us that years ago you lived under the name Mary Magdalene and personally knew Jesus. . .
Submitted by akpetmom on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 8:35pm.
I'm sick and tired of everyone in AK being measured by the "Palin yardstick".
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Poor akpetmom. I completely understand, because I'm tired of people from out of state asking me why I'm not orange, don't I G-T-L??? Or wanting to know why I don't have a "Jersey Shore accent"?
I've always wanted to visit Alaska, I've heard it's beautiful and the people are nice.
I have to go watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid with my boy but I hope akpetmom comes back and gives all the dirty deets on these shit stain LIARS!!! Night all
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Submitted by akpetmom on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 8:35pm.
The smartest person in that family is Trig. Bristol should be more proud of her first son; he's special but so much more intelligent than the rest of that fucked up brood. Trig is Alaska's little Harvey Price!
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AHHA!! I knew it! I saw a very interesting little documentary online that showed Sarah thru her "pregnancy" most pictures had mysteriously disappeared. The remaining ones when she was "7 months" clearly she was not pregnant. Bristol was also strangely not around at that time! Yeah she made a mistake all right! Twice in a row? Damn its called birth control! She also wrote on her myspace to a friend how her mother said she overheard her phonecall and knew who it was and what it was about and that she thought she was pregnant.FAMILY VALUES right Sarah?
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Submitted by akpetmom on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 8:35pm.
You have my sincere condolences that your lovely town and gorgeous state have Palin Pollution.
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Here There Be Dragons!
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akpetmom on Tue, 08/03/2010 - 8:35pm.
I live two miles from this train wreck of a family and we all are judged, in Wasilla and Alaska by this hillbilly family whose matriarch was lucky enough to score herself some political jobs that she was unqualified for. There are plenty of Palin's in Alaska and plenty of intelligent people as well. I'm sick and tired of everyone in AK being measured by the "Palin yardstick".
The smartest person in that family is Trig. Bristol should be more proud of her first son; he's special but so much more intelligent than the rest of that fucked up brood. Trig is Alaska's little Harvey Price!
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YES!! Post all the dirt. No judgement from me my friend. I would like to see Alaska one day...
Well, if I get played through MK, it's ok. I mean it's not like I bought a copy of People. Pfft.
I hope both members of this couple cease and desist breeding,(with each other or others). Thanks.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
OK, so I know I said the other day I couldn't hate on Chelsea and the Bush girls because of who their parents are. However, this one is another story. Sure, she's only famous because of her mom, but that doesn't mean she needs to run to a tabloid every time she takes a crap. That's what twitter is for, jackass!
I live two miles from this train wreck of a family and we all are judged, in Wasilla and Alaska by this hillbilly family whose matriarch was lucky enough to score herself some political jobs that she was unqualified for. There are plenty of Palin's in Alaska and plenty of intelligent people as well. I'm sick and tired of everyone in AK being measured by the "Palin yardstick".
The smartest person in that family is Trig. Bristol should be more proud of her first son; he's special but so much more intelligent than the rest of that fucked up brood. Trig is Alaska's little Harvey Price!
To this day, I still believe the other baby born "speshul" is Bristol's as well.
Why are you pulling my dick?
@Master what the hell makes you think my titties arent out? Its 930 here!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Master Blaster: We are making up now. ;) MUAH
V: Pamela "Like the sands through an hour glass". Did you honestly think it was "threw and hour glass" or was that a joke?
P: Ummm who gives a fuck what exactly it was you got the point.
V: And my point is that you are a dumbass.
P: Well my point is your a fucking cunt there is no need to pick a part what I write.
V: Not interested in fighting with you Pamela. I honestly thought it could have been a joke.
P: Yeah me either sorry I took offense. I heard that shit a long time ago when my gram watched it.
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Hey, if ya'll are gonna slapbox, can you at least take your titties out? It's more fun to watch.
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"I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya, I'm just gonna bash your brains in."
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No problem. It's hard to convey what you really mean in text sometimes. I see how my comment could have looked confrontational, I didn't mean it to be.