Elisabetta Canalis Is Funny
When George Clooney's last leased piece Sarah Larson started to tiptoe out on the ho stroll, her contract was immediately terminated and she was dropped off at the cocktail bar from which she came from. Well, George's current full-time piece Elisabetta Canalis is starting to orally queef about their relationship to the media, so I wonder how long it will be before the movers show up and carry her ass out of there. I hope they don't, because this bitch is hilarious in a delusional kind of way. Who cares if Elisabetta looks like my Uncle Jorge in broke drag, she's still a strong shot of cuntspresso to my soul.
In the Italian version of Vanity Fair (via People), Elisabetta laid out several lines of potent bitchiness and I'm snorting this shit up:
On the jeliz h8rs hating on her life with George: "I am happy like I was when I was 18 years old. Those who criticize or invent stories about us are just jealous."On how an Italian paper said George dumped her ass: "It might seem a cliché, but unfortunately it is true: the Italians never support their own citizens who earn an opportunity or a recognition abroad … I don't expect to be celebrated, but neither do I expect the newspapers of our country to use as a reference point a gossip blog which is full of insults, racism and violence."
On how she's slowly poisoning her jealous enemies with happiness: "Yes, it is true. We are together. I have heard of women – even famous women – that due to this [relationship] removed his photo as screensavers from their computers. Maybe I am a bit stressed. But in the end the best revenge over these jealous people is to be happy. Because that is the thing they do not forgive you for."
HA! Nobody tell Elisabetta that the only women who would have a George Clooney screensaver are women who don't know how to turn on a computer let alone how to change their screensaver (I'm looking at you, mom). That still is a really good line, though. If Elisabetta can work a strap-on as well as she can bring the bitchiness, George will keep her around for a while (not really).
Here's George making all kinds of faces (ranging from "My no-no is sore" face to "6 inches could work" face) on the set of a commercial with John Malkovich in Milan today. I'm going to make one of these pictures my screensaver just to fuck with Elisabetta.
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I can't wait until this tranny looking bitch's 15 mins of fame is up
LOL, he can't dump her just yet, she's just getting interesting.
She is right about the Italian press, they stay going in on her about dating a couple black soccer players. That is all they talk about, it's like damn she dated white soccer players too.
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I dont know why women go crazy for him. He looks like a drunk and has nasty teefs, and i wouldnt fuck him if here were the last man alive. he is disgusting.
**Time flies when you're a drunken whore.** Michael K
I agree with the person who said she's a coked-up call girl. I guess she would be considered "high-end" now --- not in the brains dept. though.
She's an asshole.
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Pull My Finger
Color me clueless 'cause I have no idea what she is saying
Submitted by JeanGenie on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 8:24am.
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A pleasure! I always enjoy a good rant!
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
Submitted by Chirio on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 8:39am.
...
well if she did, she'd be the only original italian there...
Bet Clooney will be engaged to Cannabus by Fall.
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"One glance at a book and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for 1,000 years. To read is to voyage through time." - Carl Sagan
This retarded irrelevant whore won't be on his gay arm in a year's time.
WTF??
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"One glance at a book and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for 1,000 years. To read is to voyage through time." - Carl Sagan
We just found out from a very knowledgable source in Venice where George has the 'work' done. We are still trying to verify which doctor it is at this clinic.
We wonder if homosexual tinymeat brad pitt also goes to this same clinic, since the two of them are 'acquainted'.
without expanding the thumb, John M could be Sean Connory
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
John Malkovich is 6-1 and George Clooney is 5-10...
Something looks off in that photo besides the fact John used to be hot, in an intellectual way...
Those are the faces George makes when he is inside of me...
Oh, it always entertains me when grown-ass women have the mentality of a 13-year old girl.
SHU-UP, YOU IZ JUST JELLIS!
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
Why do so many women fall over George when he's an obvious love em and leave him kind of guy. Oh wait... too many women seem to like that and then wonder why they're crying in the end.
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I Love You More
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I am over this trick with her horrendous eyeshadow.
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
Elizabetta Cunnilingus looks like a third-tier Dr. Frankenfurter from a community production of Rocky Horror. She should keep her snout shut.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
After reading what she said, it does strike me that she is indeed a coked-up call girl.
Trust me Italian whore, the only hunk on my screensaver is Jayson Perez, my 11 month old. So get the fuck outta the way, coke Snookie.
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She's a fameasexual. Bitch will lick on anything if it gets her a blurb in Star Magazine. -- Michael K.
I love that she directly refers to dating Clooney as "earning an opportunity" lmao
"Who cares if Elisabetta looks like my Uncle Jorge in broke drag, she's still a strong shot of cuntspresso to my soul." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, best thing ever. I added that shit to my favorite quotes section on my facebook page because I am just that gay!
he can do better....with me !
hubba hubba!
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 1:33am.
You guys must be spoiled because I rarely meet goodlooking women like this. Either that, or the Dutch are really fug. Nevertheless, she is a paid shit for brains and he is delaying the inevitable.
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The Dutch girls are gorgeous (my mum is Dutch!). This ho looks like a dude though.S orry I don't find her hot, and now she is turning out to be smug? Love, we know you sucked off half of AC Milan, are a common wag and cannot act for shit. So sit the fuck down, just because you are GC's flavour ho of the year doesn't mean you can go and be smug about it.
Besides, George? Meh these days
I wonder if she could do an episode on the Jersey Shore show...
*changes screensaver to Clooney*
Coma Caca!
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"'cept maybe: Columbia, Botswana, Taiwan....really, there's a lot of place that could, and may have, happened."
Of course there are. But those countries have not had the same advantages and political positions as a country in the G8 is.
Italy is supposed to be a first world country.
It is supposed to be a country where freedom of press is a rule - while a law is being discussed in the parliament, to forbid newspapers the publishing of relevant news on trials and the likes.
Then there's also the vatican holding a very strong influence on politicians and italian laws (yes, I'm an atheist, too, and if I believed in a god I guess I could only despise the vatican and its institution).
The situation has gone far worse than just general incivility or disinformation.
Thank you for letting me rant :-) I'm feeling relieved I can talk about it.
Smooches
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Escaping Berlustard dictatorship before it's too late
Go back and look at Georgie's first (main)picture up top with elisabetta. He is completely wasted. So much so I can see it in his face. I'm a professional certified drinker...so I am gonna go one further and insist it is vicodin and his latest choice of alcoholic beverage. remember the infamous lemoncello night with him and danny devito. Its pretty woman all over again right in front of our face. LOL. She needs to stop...I can't
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Les Grossman is awesome!
Submitted by JeanGenie on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 7:55am.
True, but there's no chance blohan or katie price could ever become Ministers.
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Hello? Arnold Swarzenegger, Ronald Regan. Those guys are actors. There would never be a woman who's too good looking as a Minister, that's true but that's a whole nother neurosis, right there.
"...well, I have a really hard time believing he could ever be the prime minister in another country."
'cept maybe: Columbia, Botswana, Taiwan....really, there's a lot of place that could, and may have, happened.
OR HERE IN CANADA: OMG you should see this Mafiosa toddler who's running for office here. He's a fucking disgrace. Literally.
I'm not saying don't leave Italy. I'm just saying: Don't expect to be all that much happier anywhere else if that's your issue. We're all screwed.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
True, but there's no chance blohan or katie price could ever become Ministers.
Clinton was almost impeached for the Lewinski affair. Look what berlusconi has done through these years (including predating on a vapid underage) and it is astounding how he still is ruling the country.
Whatever the case may be, I really doubt a man who's become rich thanks to mafia, has tons of legal trials on his curriculum and now uses his powers to keep the trials on pause until they can't go on anymore because of limits of prescription, kept a mob boss as one of his employees for years (and then proclaimed "He's a hero!"), has corrupted, stolen, perpetously makes use of prostitutes and starlets and then puts them among his politician squad, owns 3 national tv channels and as the prime minister he now controls other 3 too... and the list goes on and on and on...
...well, I have a really hard time believing he could ever be the prime minister in another country.
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Escaping Berlustard dictatorship before it's too late
Submitted by JeanGenie on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 7:28am.
They have dinner watching national tv news broadcasts, they go on with their lives... Unfortunately, until anything strikes really close to someone, they just don't care. Once they can follow their soccer team, eat well, have fun, they are happy to ignore how fucked up the country is, even though they don't realise they're constantly taking it up the ass. And that's why things will never change.
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Ok, so...um....I have some bad news for you.
We're all like that.
SoR-RaY! :(
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
Italians never support their own citizens who earn an opportunity or a recognition abroad …
Lol ITALIAN PEOPLE RISE UP AND SUPPORT YOUR GOLDDIGGING SLUTBEARDS!!!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
Submitted by JeanGenie on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 7:28am.
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don't you think they do the same in the US and other countries? why do you think we're being flooded with lindsay lohan news everywhere?
In the UK, probably by the end of the year or the beginning of the next.
Yes, Italy is a beautiful place, but it's been constantly mistreated by Italians in the first place. It's like that, here. You put someone's tits and ass on tv and they don't care whether all tv news are completely made up in favour of the prime minister, they hide news, they hide very important things that you can view in other countries newspapers. As an example, you can look for the last interview to Paolo Borsellino - murdered by mafia a few weeks later - in Italy it has been shown on tv at night, ONCE, years ago. Then disappeared. He suggested Berlusconi's involvment. There's plenty of people willing to do something, look for articles by Marco Travaglio, or Peter Gomez. But they're not allowed to spread the news by national media. And most of Italians, I'm sorry, don't look for info on the web.
They have dinner watching national tv news broadcasts, they go on with their lives... Unfortunately, until anything strikes really close to someone, they just don't care. Once they can follow their soccer team, eat well, have fun, they are happy to ignore how fucked up the country is, even though they don't realise they're constantly taking it up the ass. And that's why things will never change.
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Escaping Berlustard dictatorship before it's too late
*waits for Eliza to blog about how she didn't mean it "literally"*
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
She is so gone!
Submitted by JeanGenie on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 7:08am.
...
where are you going?
Submitted by MissBegotten on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 1:42am.
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you forgot carla bruni...
"Mara Carfagna, former showgirl who went to law school and became Italy's Minister for Equal Opportunity:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mara_Carfagna"
PLEASE. This is a whore, who became a politician by giving blow-jobs to Berlusconi (it is certified, and, of course, Berlusconi became a politician not to be arrested for his mafia involvment). She's not the only case like this in Berlusconi's court.
She's just AS stupid as this bitch Canalis who became famous hoppin' his ass on that horrid Striscia la notizia show when she was 19.
Sorry about the rant, I'm not holding anything against you. I'm leaving Italy because of its fucked up system, and I'm really pissed off about it.
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Escaping Berlustard dictatorship before it's too late
In that last pic, he must've found out the dumb trick did an interview. lol
Cuntspresso! BWAHAHAHAHA! I have learned so many new words over the years thanks to MK.
Off to work on my I heart George screensaver...
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You're simple, you're shallow, you're a common whore. That's why we're soul mates. ~Karen Walker
I was going to remove my George Clooney screen saver but now I'm keeping it just for spite.
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I will not be ignored Dan! The musical interlude.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv9Zf4EYP18
GC never did it for me.. ***********************************************
"We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of the dreams"
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 4:09am.
George looks so 'refreshed' (= recent cosmetic surgery
Even though I hate you, I'd have to agree. George was looking ROUGH for a good while. He and Pitt were prolly in neighbouring reccovery suites.
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Bitch please!
They are so over. To date him, a woman has to never talk about it.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
They also aren't allowed to have higher aspirations other than to hang off his arm or look pretty in front of the camera (for the red carpet). He is one of those men who feel threatened by women who show even a glimmer of independence and want to make a name for themselves. That's why he dates waitresses (although this one's a model, though she doesn't have the looks or esp. youthful look for it.
In the distance shot George is starting to look like the homosexual that she is.
Also, we note that George is wearing the same 'make me tall' booties that Tammy Cruise likes to wear!
Discuss!
Submitted by MissBegotten on Wed, 08/04/2010 - 1:42am.
Don't forget Sophia Loren.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
She DOES look like a man. Rockin' bod, shame about the face. And 31? Hah! As if.
Still, I kind of like her for just being unabashedly trashy. None of this faux hoity-toity lovely manners classy lady stuff for her!
Okay, this trick says that Italians never support their citizens who get "opportunities" or "recognition abroad".
Stefania Mondello, Primio Award Winner 2010, Research into traumatic brain injury:
http://www.bridgestoitaly.org/news/my-strenght-it-lies-only-my-tenacity
Deborah Compagnoni, Only alpine skier to win gold in three consecutive Olympics:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deborah_Compagnoni
Mara Carfagna, former showgirl who went to law school and became Italy's Minister for Equal Opportunity:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mara_Carfagna
Recognized Italian women, who're supported by the Italian public.
None of them are the delusional beard/bimbo of an over rated Hollywood actor through...
So I guess I see where she's coming from. More support for "girlfriends" isn't much of a rallying cry though....
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Honestly Officer...
You guys must be spoiled because I rarely meet goodlooking women like this. Either that, or the Dutch are really fug. Nevertheless, she is a paid shit for brains and he is delaying the inevitable.
George Clooney’s girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis opened up about her relationship with the actor in Italian Vanity Fair. The Italian model was recently caught up in false allegations involving cocaine and prostitution.
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He's smart enough not to want his women too smart, and not to get a trophy wife who will eventually rip him off his $$$.