Thursday, August 12th 2010
Pee-wee Herman Is A Righty
Pee-wee Herman tells Playboy Magazine (via Fox411) that if the whole "mekka lekka-ing his peen in a porn theater" thing went to trial his lawyers had a star witness in their corner that would've blown a load all over the prosecution's case. Pee-wee explains it like this:
“Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her non-dominant hand. I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.”
Look at Pee-wee and his fancy master masturbators from their masturbation institutes. I say whatever works. Sometimes you need to use your less important hand, because you're doing other shit with your main hand like: using the neti pot, eating a Zinger, talking on the phone, plucking your eyebrows, mixing cupcake batter, paying the pizza delivery dude, typing out a post about Pee-wee on your blog, etc..etc...
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It's really scary to think this guy will be 60 in a few years. The thought of him spanking (with either hand) just makes my toes curl.
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
Umm...I'm a lefty, but I use my right hand for, uh, special times.
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"69ing while driving is only for professionals" --MK
What the Hell??? Dominant hand??? This is way too funny!!! I'm a righty and a lefty!!!
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
I had a funny anecdote about blowing a wrist from over-fapping but decided TMI.
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I live by the neti pot. Nice play, MK, nice play.
"And now you hookers and ho's know how I feel..."
- Snoop/Dr. Dre
left or right its all good
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
I am reminded of the joke which asks why Hellen Keller used two hands to masturbate.
One to paddle the pink canoe, and the other to moan...
Why is he still talking about this?
____________________________________________
"Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo husband they rapin' everbody!"
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
LMAO true though i've never masturbated with me left hand and i don't even think i could it would be like trying to write with it all jerky and shit it would take me ages to get off and i just don't have that kind of time
My how times have changed. This story nothing compared to the shit celebrities do (and get away with) today.
Maybe his left hand got jealous...
i've learned to use my left hand so my right hand can be on the mouse.
A sister on DL posted that PeeWee is horse-hung!!!
Is there any verificatia of this?!
Nick at night seriously needs to start running some Pee Wee playhouse episodes lol
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
I get it on wif both mah hansz. Imma be ambidexterous like tat.
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Bitch please!
I masturbate with my right hand, and with my left, dry my tears.
Well, I'm lonely!
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
I'm a rightie and my left hand feels awesome!!!
Also, this guy is looking more and more, not like an aging wanker, but like a young pedo.
New criminal charges in 3, 2, .......
***
I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.
- Gautama.
I disagree.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 9:07pm.
submitted by eat.pray.vomit on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 8:43pm.
http://www.metafilter.com/94700/Dr-Lauras-NWord-Rant
Laura said the N-word 11 times on her radio show the other day and her life is exploding (c-word). See the comments on the blog above. Someone said she's like Dr. Pepper.lol - that's how much credibility she has (not that she ever had any - her nudie pix are still online, more loling). Her old bitter-face picture is back. Do it again, hackers!
I didn't realize she was still around.
What a piece of shit.
Where do you insert needles in a voodoo doll to cause colorectal cancer?
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I'm sorry but she's being unfairly treated in this instance. It's true: the whole N-word issue is just a continuation of racism - a throwing of salt in wounds. I feel bad for her cuz she's so white she can't sell it. She's not being racist at all - she's wanting to take down some walls. But she's not being terrible - Except that she has a terrible personality. And she's so self-absorbed she doesn't listen well. Which is kinda stupid for someone who speaks to the public.
In conclusion, this girl did NOT get the help she came for. I bet his family IS being racist around her - unfortunately Dr. Bitchface came into the convo with her own agenda and stomped all over her concerns.
♥ Threadkilla!
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
while I surf with my good hand I jack off with the other, also the non-dominant hand feels like someone else is jerking you off so I call this BS
I am far from being an expert on the subject, but isn't that precisely what porn theaters are for?
Snideychick sez:
There's always an exception to every rule and I'm one of them: A lefty who works it righty.
HaHaHaaaa! What a load.
Why are the bottom of his eyelids purple?
Poor Pee-wee, people will never stop talking about what happened. I still love him though.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
I guess they didn't have this when PeeWee was arrested.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-z85Pku9uE
Dam all this talk about jackin off
I'm right-handed. I jack with my left. That is all.
Y?
I beg to differ.
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Shiitake happens...
I'm 39 and a lefty... and the only time I've ever used my left hand to jerk off was the few months last year when my computer was on the left side of my bed and I had to use my left hand while jerking off to porn while lying on my side.
Why does Pee Wee have to keep defending what he did with his Pee Pee? Him didn't involve chirruns, so who gives a fuck?
"Hail NO!" MK as god
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Same here. I switched hands at 14 after hurting my right hand. And I never switched back.
Nah, that's BS. My husband uses his left hand to jerk it and he's a righty. Always has.
Using a netti pot while masturbating--MK, you come up with so many gems...
I thought the joke was to use the other hand so it will feel like someone else...
Anybody who makes a living studying other people's masturbation probably should not be allowed in court. Might as well study dog ball-licking patterns.
Check out the Crumbs thread with JLove at Hollywood Tuna. I swear, in one of those pics she looks like a relative of Pee Wee. Just pull her hair back off her fivehead and viola, Pee Wita Herman.
Thank heavens I'm ambidextrous.
submitted by eat.pray.vomit on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 8:43pm.
http://www.metafilter.com/94700/Dr-Lauras-NWord-Rant
Laura said the N-word 11 times on her radio show the other day and her life is exploding (c-word). See the comments on the blog above. Someone said she's like Dr. Pepper.lol - that's how much credibility she has (not that she ever had any - her nudie pix are still online, more loling). Her old bitter-face picture is back. Do it again, hackers!
I didn't realize she was still around.
What a piece of shit.
Where do you insert needles in a voodoo doll to cause colorectal cancer?
Uhhh? Did everyone else fail to spot the irony? Masters & Johnson?
Yours sluttily,
Ray-z
Nu-uh! I switch hands when I get tired!
(oYo)(_(_)(oYo)(_(_)(oYo)(_(_)(oYo)(_(_)
What's funner than fun? FUNDIO!!!!!
i was going to leave comment but i don't want to sound like i know what i'm talking about.
settle down charlie m. did your daddy hate your momma? maybe she was a filthy whore like oksana...Submitted by lovethejared
http://www.metafilter.com/94700/Dr-Lauras-NWord-Rant
Laura said the N-word 11 times on her radio show the other day and her life is exploding (c-word). See the comments on the blog above. Someone said she's like Dr. Pepper.lol - that's how much credibility she has (not that she ever had any - her nudie pix are still online, more loling). Her old bitter-face picture is back. Do it again, hackers!
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 8:32pm.
Submitted by antibitch on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 8:27pm.
Fucking Classy- I love your siggie.
___________________________________________
Thanks! There's a Russian proverb that I also love: "Pray to God, fine; but keep rowing to shore".
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Ha!
Or Trust in God but tie your horse.
or modernized:
Trust in God but lock your car.
But I like yours cuz these are about protection and yours is about reaching goals...nice.
♥ Threadkilla!
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by eat.pray.vomit on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 8:26pm.
Laura Schlessinger has warts!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Schlessinger
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While that was very educational, may I ask why we are promoting Dr. Laura today?
♥ Threadkilla!
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 8:01pm.
I use my feet.
:D Yeah, but you probably use your dominant foot more vigorously...While you tap dance with the other:)
At least,that's how I would have done it if I were a man...Oh, the possibilities...
Submitted by antibitch on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 8:27pm.
Fucking Classy- I love your siggie.
___________________________________________
Thanks! There's a Russian proverb that I also love: "Pray to God, fine; but keep rowing to shore".
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."
Fucking Classy- I love your siggie.