Rona Barrett Is So Proud!
Here's THE RICHEST WOMAN IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE Elin Nordegren letting her inner Rona Barrett come out and pose on the cover of this week's People Magazine. The "hand to face" pose was an excellent choice, because it says "I'm thinking.....about all the fucking zeroes in my savings account." Elin gave her first and only interview to People before she grabs her kids and retreats into her shiny Florida kingdom made from the tears falling out of Tiger Woods' checking account.
I figured that as soon as Elin collected her $100+ million divorce settlement, she would be forced to keep her lips shut to the media about anything Tiger Woods-related, but I guess not. Elin tells People that she was as shocked as everyone else to learn that her husband was out fucking like Wilt Chamberlain after a Viagra overdose. Elin says that she has taken a stroll through Hades (Satan asked her to say "Hiya, Sugartits" to Mel Gibson for him), but now she's in better place. What she means is nothing dries tears like a crisp $100 bill! And here's a few quotes.
Elin on all the shit that has fallen on her shoulders: "I've been through hell. It's hard to think you have this life, and then all of a sudden — was it a lie? You're struggling because it wasn't real. But I survived. It was hard, but it didn't kill me. I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children."Elin on finding out that Tiger was crowned Mister Man Whore 2009-10: "I felt stupid as more things were revealed. How could I not have known anything? The word 'betrayal' isn't strong enough. I felt embarrassed for having been so deceived. I felt betrayed by many people around me. I never suspected, not a one. For the last three years, when all this was going on, I was home a lot more with pregnancies, then the children and my school. Initially, I thought we had a chance, and we tried really hard."
Elin quoting a Britney Spears song: "I also feel stronger than I ever have. I have confidence in my beliefs, my decisions and myself."
Elin on how she's going to soak her sadness in a bowl of liquefied gold: "My immediate plan is for the kids and me to continue to adjust to our new situation. I am going to keep taking classes, but my main focus is to try to give myself time to heal."
Elin on why she Ike Turnered Tiger's SUV that night: "There was never any violence inside or outside our home. The speculation that I would have used a golf club to hit him is just truly ridiculous. I did everything I could to get him out of the locked car. To think anything else is absolutely wrong."
Elin on how she wishes Tiger the best: "I know he is going to go down
on every waitress in the 407as the best golfer that ever lived, and rightfully so. I feel privileged to have witnessed a part of his golfing career."
Let's all tap a spoon on our plastic crystal wine flutes for Elin keeping it classy. That being said, I'm a little disappointed that the People cover doesn't feature Elin holding a diamond-covered dildo in front of a stuffed toy tiger with dollars falling out of its ass. The tagline could've read: "Now who's getting fucked, bitch". Not as classy as the "hand to face" pose, but it's a close second!
(Cover via Cover Awards, Other Quotes via The Sun)
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Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 2:17am.
"I've been through hell."
Oh bitch please, you've got to be fucking kidding me.
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HAHA if hell involves me sleeping on a pillowcase full of money then count me in!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
"I've been through hell."
Oh bitch please, you've got to be fucking kidding me.
She's loaded and her and her kids are set for life! Not very many women that get out of these sort of situations are blessed with a silver spoon in their mouths. Some have no means of support whatsoever, both financial and emotional.
I was on Elin's side for a bit but bitch needs to get over herself. She could have it WAY worse.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
And, LOL, some of you keep telling yourselves it was all about his money.
WE SHOULD ALL KNOW THAT FAMOUS PEOPLE ONLY BELONG WITH EQUALLY FAMOUS PEOPLE, LOW PROFILE PEOPLE ONLY BELONG WITH EQUALLY LOW PROFILE PEOPLE AND SO ON BECAUSE IF THE MAN IN THE RELATIONSHIP MAKES MORE MONEY THAN THE WOMAN DOES, SHE'S ALWAYS AFTER HIS MONEY.
The fuck? Why don't we all just enforce a goddamned caste system? Give me a break.
Either way Team Knob would somehow find a way to persecute Elin Nordegren because if she stayed with him, that'd make her after his money and if she divorced him, she'd just be after his money as well, so no matter what, it's still a set up and a "conspiracy" with Team Dickcheese, so it's impossible to reason with them.
If protecting Tiger Woods' bank was so fucking imporant, then maybe he should have *gasp* BEEN A BETTER FUCKING HUSBAND!
I guess she was just supposed to let him continue neglecting and emotionally abusing her, over and over again. Stay quiet, after all, you have less money than Tiger Woods does, so all the apologists and oh so clever fucking devil's advocates won't appear out of the woodwork and call you a gold-digger!
Whatever makes it sound more justifiable, though.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
BAWWW, but she's taking Tiger's money! Boofuckinghoo. Because barely burning a hole in Tiger Woods' bank account is sooo much worse than robbing someone blind of their trust, self esteem, and pride. I know that losing a marginal amount of money is SO much worse than being humiliated in front of the world.
Fucking please. Actually, I hope he does go broke. See how many opportunistic bar sluts come waltzing along then...and now his performances are weaker than usual. Hmmm.
On the other hand, I'm liking this chick more and more everyday.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
MK is amazing.
P.S. This has got to be one of MK's best lines ever:
That being said, I'm a little disappointed that the People cover doesn't feature Elin holding a diamond-covered dildo in front of a stuffed toy tiger with dollars falling out of its ass. The tagline could've read: "Now who's getting fucked, bitch". Not as classy as the "hand to face" pose, but it's a close second!
hahahahahahahahaha!
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Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.
Team Elin all the way! Make that money, honey! That said, I don't feel any sympathy for her, but at least she made Tiger pay up for all the crap he did to her. Imagine the STDs she may have.
------------------------------------------------
Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.
Submitted by TiredofthisCrap on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 7:42pm.
I don't care what they say, she was chasing his ass with that damn golf club. I know legally she can't admit that shit, it's a felony, but still I think she did whup his ass.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Elin is too slick to admit it,but really,what jury would ever convict her of aggravated assault?For that matter,what prosecutor would indict her?
She spent too much on Restylane. Fuck .
Spend. That. Money. Bitch.
Why is she still lying about the golf club ass whoopin though? Would she be in danger of being deported for beating a national treasure??
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
I don't care what they say, she was chasing his ass with that damn golf club. I know legally she can't admit that shit, it's a felony, but still I think she did whup his ass.
With that said I hope this is her last interview and she doesn't hit the ho stroll trying to get a tv deal. She's young and attractive, rich now, she can get another husband.
something about this bitch I dont like. she gets $100 million for being cheated on?! Bitch you were a fuckin nanny before you hooked up with Tiger. If you werent too busy spending his money Im sure you would have known about him screwing around. I dont think she is that dumb or naive
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
spend your millions elin...i really don't care about you or your ex...
_____________________________________________
sit your $5 ass down before i make change...
She should have owned up to trying to beat the shit out of him with his own golf club. I know I would have.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Oops, that was for the Marky Mark site. Going to make correction now.
There's a really funny book, "Bad Movies We Love to Hate" (1993), and Sharon Stone has FOUR movies in it. In fact, they dedicated a whole chapter to her, titled "The Stone Age." Learn from her, Marky Mark. She wrote the foreword to the book. Excerpt: "Well, my big bad ego just couldn't resist looking into it. And look and laugh and titter and guffaw I did. Even at my own chapter..."
She can find someone who is not such a whore like bucky beaver woods.
@ KidL,
she is being called a ho (i prefer whore), because she is a user who is blowing being cheated on waaaay out of proportion. She fell from rags to major riches, all for birthing the spawn of a billionaire. She has it good and she got more than she earned or deserves and seeing her whine and piss and moan and fish for sympathy after the highway robbery she got away with, just makes me want to ram a baseball bat up her skinny white ass. She is an insult to people who have really experienced pain and hell and humiliation. If she had any decency or an ounce of integrity, she would put her tail between her legs and back the fuck off instead of trying to make it like her pussy and heart for that matter were more special than anyone else's in this world. Dumb cunt.
..
.
----------
"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Quick! Name another golfer!
I can't - can you?
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Question: Would Golf still exist if it wasn't for Tiger Woods?
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
C'mon marriages between rich people are always fake....i really dont believe she knew nothing about this, she was willing to shut up for the money until everybody found out about it....you couldnt pay me enough money to do it with Tiger...he is SOOOOOO UGLYYYYYY!!!! ugh!
***********************************************
"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
maybe someone else has already posted this but i'm not reading down the page right now. i'm too lazy.
tiger's response to elin's interview:
http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2010/08/25/tiger-issues-statement-in-respo...
I just have one question for Tiger:
Was all that pussy worth everything you've lost?
Boo hoo. This is the end game she signed up for.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 9:01am.
But the interview also tells the world that Elin has so much shit on Tiger that when his lawyer said she could never give interviews as a condition of the settlement, Elin flipped her two middle fingers up and said, "the hell I can't, beyotch!"
I kinda like that it's a two middle finger salute to Yuckitel, who can't say shit. There was a post on TMZ yesterday where a "good friend" told TMZ she would do anything to get Tiger back and he loved Elin, but was in love with Rachel and that was real, I hope he remembers that and reaches out. I think he was just in love with the way you spread 'em, bitch. She did the same thing with Boreanz on radaronline a few months ago. Radaronline had texts between the two of them where Rachel sounded desperate telling him to leave his family and go see her, she needed him. Rach must have figured it was the wife who released them and through Allred told Radar that she had texts from David that said he loved her and she could prove it! Oy, someone smack this dumb ass bitch upside the head. After all that Yuckitel's going to be desperate and pathetic and publicly beg him to come back?? What a piece of shit.
One of Tiger's extras (a waitress) told about how they used to go to breakfast regularly at the cafe where she worked & Elin would read the paper, Tiger would watch her - the waitress - & she'd see rarely a word ever pass between them.
Eyeing off potential extras while at breakfast! Just cannot believe it was all rosy & good times ever - but - what the hell - there's no way to ever understand anyone else's "suffering".
In pre earthquake Haiti a pries would go every thursday to collect children's bodies from Cite de Soleil - just to give them a proper burial - now you could say that's suffering - the rest of us with full bellies just better shut up.
Submitted by harveyprice on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:45pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:35pm.
Haha, glad you do this too! My kids (11 and 8) will start complaining if I ask them to help pick up or some simple ass bull shit and I so bust out the "well, at least you're not like some kids.....
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LOL! Exactly! It's not like I work her all day or anything. I'm asking for 15 measly minutes of her time, you know? Jeez! But yeah - the picture hit home - so much so that I'm pretty sure I've only shown it to her once or maybe twice; she's pretty upset by it...and there's nothing in it but the look on his face the moment after his sheep were hit. Well - and his one arm. (what can I say, you gotta have a little 'mean' inya to drive home some ideas;p)
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:35pm.
Haha, glad you do this too! My kids (11 and 8) will start complaining if I ask them to help pick up or some simple ass bull shit and I so bust out the "well, at least you're not like some kids, who by your age take care of all of their brothers and sisters, cooks, cleans and never gets to go out to eat or anything" and they usually simmer down. I give examples of people I know who have had to do this, but a picture like you have would be so much better!
"I've had spots on my butt forever - it's a leopard booty."-Chippy D
@harveyprice
*slides spiced rum and cream cocktail to Harvey* cheers
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Submitted by harveyprice on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:29pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:26pm.
Yeah, that would be some really fucked up shit. That's how I get through what I would deem my own "suffering" I guess, by putting it into perspective as often as I can. Sometimes it's hard if I have a really kick ass pity party going for myself, but I still try.
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Yeah - that's what I do. Ask my kid, man. SHe HATES it but I have this National Geographic with the one-armed boy. Now all I have to say is: "How many arms do you have?" When she starts complaining that this or that is TOO HARD...and HOW CAN I DO THAT TO HER?!The first time I showed her the picture...the one armed boy is crying in the picture. He's crying becuz the herd of sheep that he uses to support his family was hit by a van. He is eight years old. He lost his own arm to some kind of explosive years before. (His herd was replaced, btw, by do-gooders:)
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
*
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:18pm.
Whateves, join me in having a Curacau spiced rum and cream mix, will ya?
That actually sounds really fucking good right about now...don't mind if I do....
"I've had spots on my butt forever - it's a leopard booty."- Chippy D
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:26pm.
Yeah, that would be some really fucked up shit. That's how I get through what I would deem my own "suffering" I guess, by putting it into perspective as often as I can. Sometimes it's hard if I have a really kick ass pity party going for myself, but I still try.
"I've had spots on my butt forever - it's a leopard booty."- Chippy D
Submitted by harveyprice on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:21pm.
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:18pm.
I like you because you are harsh. And if it makes you smile, I will quit "imagining" shit for now. I just thought I could comment like everyone else, but I'll pipe down for now, thankya.
_________________________
Not being harsh w/ ya. The "let up on imagining" was for any of/all the dumbsmucks who always got to shout out (and mean it) race crap. Wasn't directed at you, just at anyone who might have fixated on that dumb skin color crap. Trust, when someone starts going straight for skin color, and continues with that bullshit, most of us pipe up.
Whateves, join me in having a Curacau spiced rum and cream mix, will ya?
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TEMPORARY TITLE vs. 500 Server Error - Ultimate Cagefight!
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 9:01am.
But the interview also tells the world that Elin has so much shit on Tiger that when his lawyer said she could never give interviews as a condition of the settlement, Elin flipped her two middle fingers up and said, "the hell I can't, beyotch!"
--------------
I thought the same thing. She's got his huevos in a safe deposit box, that's for sure. She will do whatever the hell she wants to do, from now on, and he will keep his fucking mouf shut!
@harveyprice: I"m doin' ok;p
But I only saw Zorba the Greek mention that Elin saw $$ and Tiger saw a Stepford Wife...and then raging ricki mentioned something about blonde...but really, I think the issue is - it's not REALLY suffering. It's annoying, it's embarrassing and it's uncomfortable but it's not SUFFERING. Suffering is when your babies are all born with AIDS cuz your husband fucks AIDS-ridden whores. It's when your husband blows your whole family away at a party, suffering is when your husband KNOWS he did you wrong but still won't pay and you're forced to work an 80 hour week so your son can go off and shoot your nephew by accident after school....you know?
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:18pm.
I like you because you are harsh. And if it makes you smile, I will quit "imagining" shit for now. I just thought I could comment like everyone else, but I'll pipe down for now, thankya.
"I've had spots on my butt forever - it's a leopard booty."- Chippy D
I hope Kitty Kelly or Andrew Morton (or each/bofe of them) write a book about Tiger and Elin - I WANT ALL THE DIRT, not this happy slappy whitewashed bullshit.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:11pm.
Submitted by harveyprice on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 12:34pm.
Wow, some of the comments on here surprise me (especially with the lack of understanding or any wisdom displayed). I guess if you happen to be blonde or have lighter skin pigmentation, you don't have the ability to suffer?
********************************************
Please. Let's not turn everything into a race issue. That's not the problem at all. Now if you wanna take a stab at some of the things we DID actually say...
________________________________
For fking real. Let up on the imaginary "skin pigmentation" projections for fks sake. Did nobody bring that crazy shit up. We were all too busy w/ cock on the brain and benedryl shots, where could we have fit in race?!
Edited: Harvey, but that's where we ignore those two or three out of 77 posts. Ppl who focus on "skin pigmentation" bullshit are useless fucks w/ nothing else going for them.
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Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 1:11pm.
Actually, I am not making anything into anything, even at work today :(. However, there were several comments made on the board indicating that this person would not "know" suffering, these comments also made reference to her skin and hair color. I stand by my original ascertation that I find this surprising given the usual seemingly enlightened opinions that you can find on dlisted.
Hope you are having a more productive day than I am.
"I've had spots on my butt forever - it's a leopard booty."-Chippy D
Submitted by harveyprice on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 12:34pm.
Wow, some of the comments on here surprise me (especially with the lack of understanding or any wisdom displayed). I guess if you happen to be blonde or have lighter skin pigmentation, you don't have the ability to suffer?
********************************************
Please. Let's not turn everything into a race issue. That's not the problem at all. Now if you wanna take a stab at some of the things we DID actually say...
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
I actually like this girl. I don't know why, but I do. She seems down to earth and seems like she really cares for her children, unlike other celebrity idiots out there - *cough* JLO! *cough*
Shame she had to be dragged through the mud because Tiger couldn't keep his "paw" in his pants. Shame.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Why is this woman being called a ho? She was married to a ho, but that doesn't make her one.
FWIW, I don't blame her for setting the record straight. Good for her for not saying the standard, 'He's still by best friend' bullshit.
I call her the nordic ho that made off with the gold
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Wow, some of the comments on here surprise me (especially with the lack of understanding or any wisdom displayed). I guess if you happen to be blonde or have lighter skin pigmentation, you don't have the ability to suffer? That's interesting... I will agree with the posters that are stating she had some idea of what she was getting into when she married him.
"I've had spots on my butt forever - it's a leopard booty."-Chippy D
Submitted by MyFingersHurt on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 9:04am.
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 9:02am.
All this shit is part of her divorce agreement. Seriously..."I feel SOOooOoooo PRIVILEGED to have been able to witness part of the greatestest golf career EvA!!!"....sit down, bitch, Tiger sucks now. We get it, you're happy you ran away with Tiger's money but please --- don't try to pretend you and Tiger are still besties with the utmost repsect for each other.
********************
Co-signed. This whole "interview" is so calculated. Is she saying anything that people couldn't assume without hearing it from her? Oh, gee - you were heartbroken & embarrassed after your husband & father of your children cheated on you for years with countless skanks? SHOCKER!!! Thanks, People, for exposing that truth for all to hear.
-------------------------------
Agreed BUT as we all know this is damage control from Tiger Woods, his sponsors and the PGA... of course part of the settlement was this weak ass PR scripted interview.
For 100+ million I'd cooperate for this "interviews" like Elin, the truth is out there, everybody can see through this and still she comes on top as a person.
Submitted by fuckingclassy on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 10:04am.
Another thought: bitch DOES like to spend $$. I frequent a fashion blog and Elin is always sporting $500 shoes when she's out and about. I'm not hating, just saying Elin has been enjoying Tiger's $$ for a while now. She may be private and all but she does like to spend. Also, kinda funny to contrast it with Tiger being so cheap. Must be the Asian in him.
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I don't think that if any of us here were married to a multi-millionaire, we'd be buying our shoes from Payless.
I'm glad she got the hell out and got a huge settlement. I know it's hard for a lot of the cynics here, but there are a lot of people who get married in good faith and for love thinking that both parties will be faithful and it will all be happily ever after. She's naive for thinking a guy as rich as him wouldn't eventually cheat. He put her through a psychological hell. And for all we know, maybe he gave her herpes too. You can't sleep bareback with so many whores and not pick it up along the way somewhere.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 10:15am.
****
You know that Sandra did an exclusive People interview, too, right?
********************************************************************
No, ISprainedMyUvula, I didn't know Sandra whore herself out too. And now I just read that Sandra is giving an interview with Matt Laurer.
I take it back... Sandra, Elin, Rachel Utchel (whatever)- ALL MEDIA WHORES!
I guess her divorce decree allowed her the freedom to SELL her story, which tells me she didn't take as much as we think so she could whore herself around to the highest bidder.
____________________________________________________________
"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 11:04am.
She has been going THROUGH HELL????
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Ha! I feel this. So her husband fucked a bunch of skanks. It could have been worse. She could have to just grin and bear it cuz the law says that's ok. He could have fucked all her best friends. He could have given her a plethora of diseases...but no - he got caught and she got rich. It's not really that tragic when you think about it.
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Wah wah wah....bitch, plenty of women have endured worse in their relationships and didn't get out with millions of dollars in their bank account. So zipit.
Anyway I don't believe she and Tiger ever loved each other for a hot second. She saw a pot of gold and he saw a blonde Stepford wife to boost his image. So when she talks about her "suffering" I'm like, bitch please, you obviously didn't even KNOW this Tiger ho!!