The Rumored "Dancing With The Has-Beens" Cast Is A Mess
Bristol Palin, The Hoff, Mop Head, The Situation and Ceiling Eyes all sitting in a room together wearing enough sequins to make Johnny Weir's sparkly fart bubbles feel inadequate. No, I did not just to describe a scene to you from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan. This horrific scene might happen in real life...and on live television!
E! News and UsWeekly are both reporting that the next cast of Dancing with the Has-Beens and Never-Wases includes Alaska's most famous teen mom, the Tri-State area's largest supplier of crotch crabs and The Hoff.
Bristol Palin reportedly dumped Levi because he would rather hump on the spotlight than on her, so she's really showing his ass who can hump it harder. E! says that Bristol's deal is already done. Anybody who has seen Bristol's acting debut on The Secret Life of an American Teenager knows that she's more wooden than The Situation's head, so this shit is going to be entertaining.
It's been reported that The Situation, Brandy, The Hoff, Florence Henderson, Troy Aikman Jennifer Grey, Ceiling Eyes and Michael Bolton are all in talks. ABC will announce the full cast on August 30th. This mess of all messes premieres on September 20th, so mark that day on your calendar as the world comes to a crashing end. Yes, it ends on a dancefloor and under a disco ball.
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Submitted by Muffy_Simba on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 3:00am.
Who the hell is Ceiling Eyes? And I don't get the joke.
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Her eyes always look like if she's looking upward at the ceiling but she is not. She's looking straight ahead. You can see too much white beneath her irises.
Who the hell is Ceiling Eyes? And I don't get the joke.
wasnt Bristol upset with Levi for trying t be a fame whore?! Pot calling the kettle black!
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I wouldn't even watch this show if these has-beens weren't on it.
Woo, look, a dancing competition.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
I thought pic 6 was MK's abuelita....:)
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“Change in a trice. The lilies and languors of virtue. For the raptures and roses of vice;”
Submitted by PinkTransAm on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 11:57pm.
I thought Jennifer Grey was that thing from the derperate housewives of nj...OOOPS
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Also, unless she's had a lobotomy (which wouldn't surprise me), she ALREADY knows how to dance really well, the movie...HELLO! :)
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“Change in a trice. The lilies and languors of virtue. For the raptures and roses of vice;”
I thought Jennifer Grey was that thing from the desperate housewives of nj...OOOPS
great but where are the stars? The only one worth mentioning is a retired football player.
Am I the only one who finds this show completely fucking boring?
The Palin family would paint your garage if you paid them $5,000 and filmed it for television.
Wasn't Florence Henderson already on DWTS? Or does she just remind me of Cloris Leechman (sp?)?
Isn't Bristol Palin supposed to have a child to raise and, oh, I don't know, maybe think about getting an education so that she can support the kid? Does she have the TIME to Dancing with the Has-Beens?
Who watches this? I've never seen it. Who gives a wet fuck?
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke
I wonder if The Hoff will be hammered during the pasa dos equis.
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“Change in a trice. The lilies and languors of virtue. For the raptures and roses of vice;”
Fucking unbelievable.
1. "The Situation": some stupid steriod user who can't keep his shirt down. He can't get laid on that show anyway, he attracts "grenades" and ends up jerking off alone.
2. David Hasselhoff/Michael Bolton: special effects will be used because these are both the same person.
3. Jennifer Gray: Who? "Nobody puts Baby in the corner".
4. Brandy: this is too easy. She just needs to let Ray J piss on her and leak the tape.
5. Troy Aikman: Who? Part 2.
6.Florence Henderson: Well, if she can't get wet naturally, she's always got Wessonality.
7. Ceiling Eyes: Who? Part 3.
8. Bristol Palin: An easy high school knock-off with round heels. Her Baby Grandma makes meth in a trailer while her Baby Daddy beat her to the punch in the famewhore game. Go Levi, you've earned it.
Sometimes, I wish __________ (fill in the blank).
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
Michael, you forgot Octomom!!!
Team Ceiling Eyes.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
Is that *squints* BRISTOL PALIN?! What a fucking hypocrite. So Levi isn't allowed to do reality tv (to earn money to support his child), but she's allowed to do it for no goddamn reason? We all know Mama Palin and Daddy Palin help you financially-more than you are willing to admit to. God, I hate this little bitch. How about spending some time with your son,huh?
Oh, wait. You'd have to actually love him in order to do that. My bad.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
Submitted by El Bob on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 5:49pm.
Who approves this bullshit for broadcast?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Someone who knows what (inexplicably) brings in ratings, apparently.
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Who approves this bullshit for broadcast?
I am willing to bet that if you look up the word "doofus" in the dictionary, there's a picture of The Itchuation. You know he has cooties.
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Pesez le matin que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au soir, et au soir que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au matin.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Michael Bolton and The Hoff on the same show? COMPETING with each other? How will they fit both egos on stage at the same time???
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Pesez le matin que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au soir, et au soir que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au matin.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Mrs. Brady is the only one I would ever even consider voting for out of this mess. Bristol Palin, really? A media whore, like her mother, I see.
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"Strut for me, and show me what you're workin' with." --Glambert!
another show i will never, ever watch. but if i did, florence would be my choice.
I see that Troy Aikman is dipping his toes into the pink waters of his often rumored gayness. Hopefully he will soon be swinging his hips to techno beat at his local gay bar.
I am speechless about this cast.
"You thought I was a doughnut and tried to glaze me"
Submitted by Happy Hour on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 4:27pm.
Submitted by OneLiner on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 3:42pm.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 3:13pm.
*shakes head* Thank God for cable TV. Even Univision is doing a version of this shitfeast...
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Really? Who's in it? Niurka and Don Francisco I hope!
I overheard this at a party last weekend and I heard that Macho Camacho and Lola la trailera..
*dies*
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LOL!
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
Submitted by OneLiner on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 3:42pm.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 3:13pm.
*shakes head* Thank God for cable TV. Even Univision is doing a version of this shitfeast...
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Really? Who's in it? Niurka and Don Francisco I hope!
I overheard this at a party last weekend and I heard that Macho Camacho and Lola la trailera.. * dies*
I can't believe people watch this shit and it amazes me how "celebrities" are willing to whore themselves out no matter how humiliating it is. Hey Bristol!! Pot, kettle, black.
Troy Aiken I could have imagined on Celebrity Apprentice easily. Not this, Troy, not this.
What a mess. When the situation is considered a celebrity 2012 can't come soon enough.
Oh god, Jennifer Grey, I will never get over your new nose.
*can't breathe. not on earth anymore*
Palin is gonna show white oprah how its really done!
"Hail NO!" MK as god
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 3:35pm.
TEAM THE HOFF AND THE SITCH!!!!!
TEAM THE SHIRT BEFORE THE SHIRT!!!
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I could see the Hoff and Bolton trying sabotage each others routines while Jenifer Grey sneaks up for the win. Dancing with Landmines would be a much better show though.
Fuck everyone on that entire line up.
I am so tempted to punch the Situation in his busted to hell face every time I see a picture of him lifting his shirt. What a smug, self-important asshole.
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Suck Yourself!
Submitted by Happy Hour on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 3:13pm.
*shakes head* Thank God for cable TV. Even Univision is doing a version of this shitfeast...
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Really? Who's in it? Niurka and Don Francisco I hope!
***********************************************
"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
I don't know who Troy Aikman is (I'm thinking a football player?) but he looks like Harry Connick Jr's fat older brother.
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Dark-sided!
Definately reschd my work day to leave early to watch this IF and ONly the Hoff is in it!!
Coma Caca!
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TEAM THE HOFF AND THE SITCH!!!!!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
Let's see if Jen can dance with the magical career-ruining nose.
Why won't young actresses look at what happened to her career and leave their noses the hell alone?
I'm always hoping they get Jodie Sweetin. What? she's a fellow Capricorn, and one of my faves from Full House. Plus, she was a good dancer on the show.
See what kind of mess you make when you start fishing the stuff out of the toilet that won't flush.
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Now this is what I call a protest
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FhMMmqzbD8&feature=popular
clay, i mean troy, aiken looks very SPECIAL here....
and brandy and michael bolton used to have actual music careers, right?
was "Moesha" *that* long ago?
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I didn't ask to be hated
I just don't mind being a bitch.
(Courtney Love)
Bristols tits are gonna look EPIC in those skimpy costumes. :D
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Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 3:02pm.
And maybe Brandy can do a demonstration of her driving skills while they're on the dancing floor.
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hahahaha this made me choke on my pepsi :)
*shakes head* Thank God for cable TV. Even Univision is doing a version of this shitfeast...
i wish they would stop trying to make the palins "stars"...
as for this crop of hasbeens, except for mrs brady and ferris bueller's sister, this is the worst bunch of losers yet...
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sit your $5 ass down before i make change...