Mary-Louise Parker Has Never Smoked The Good Shit
Before we get to that, let's officially hand over a Photoshop Award to the artiste who overused the "Fun House Stretch Mirror" tool on Mary-Louise Parker for that picture above. I know Mary-Louise plays a pot dealer on TV, but that doesn't mean they should make her look like she's the size of a malnourished joint! It looks like you could hug her waist with a roach clip! This is some for real fuckery sponsored by Gumby. Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way....
Even though Mary-Louise Parker is on a show where the official plant of Snoop Dogg's life is one of the main stars, she's usually the designated sober one at the party who rolls her eyes at all the stoners comparing the meaning of life to a Cool Ranch Dorito.
In an interview with Vanity Fair's Eric Spitznagel, MLP said that she's never felt a green cloud of magic leap around in her body, but she has licked on a lollipot before (tastes like Willie Nelson's pre-cum).
Wait, you don’t smoke marijuana, or you’ve never smoked it?
I’ve never smoked it.Wow. That’s like finding out Tommy Chong never touched the stuff. I feel so betrayed.
I guess if it was going to happen, it would’ve happened when I was younger. But that was never an effective or interesting form of rebellion for me. Because everybody did it. Marijuana was just a social thing. It wasn’t dangerous or frowned upon. If I’d been popular in high school, I’m sure I would have wanted to do it. But I wasn’t.So you didn’t smoke pot because nobody was offering it to you?
Oh no, it was definitely offered to me. All the time. I was hanging around a lot of musicians, so I definitely had access to drugs. It just never appealed to me. Everybody was doing it, and I didn’t want to be part of the crowd. There was no part of me that wanted to fit in.You should do a P.S.A. You’ve almost convinced me that pot is boring.
Yeah, probably. But I’m not saying pot is a bad thing. I know plenty of people who should be smoking pot. I’m just not one of those people. I don’t think it would be the best drug for me. What am I going to do, start doing drugs at my age? It’s a little late. I’m a mother of two. It’s probably not the best idea for me to start getting into it now.Well, I know a few mothers who still partake.
Yeah, I do too. They just wait until their kids are asleep. I don’t know, I guess marijuana just wasn’t made for me. It’s not like I haven’t tried.Wait, back up. I thought you never smoked?
I didn’t smoke, it was a lollipop.There is so much about that sentence I don’t understand.
O.K., here’s what happened. I was at a party, and I’d been kind of sick recently. I was in the hospital and on some really heavy antibiotics. But I went to this party anyway, and I was in the bathroom the whole night, on the floor. I was just so ill. Somebody at the party was like, “The only thing that’s going to help your nausea is marijuana.” And I’m like, “I don’t have any!” But then I remembered, somebody had given me a pot lollipop.A lollipop made with THC?
Yeah. We did something about pot lollipops on Weeds. But those were props, obviously. Then somebody gave me some real ones. People give me pot all the time. I put them up in my closet, on the very, very top shelf, where I keep all my shoes, just so my kids wouldn’t find them. I don’t need that.Why did you keep them at all?
I guess I thought … I don’t know. Maybe I’d have guests over to the house and they’d want to … ? I have no clue what I thought I was going to do with them.You weren’t a little bit curious?
A little, yeah. My entire life, I never wanted anything to do with marijuana, but then it became a thing. You know what I mean? “I don’t smoke pot.” That was my thing. So when I was sick, I was like, “What the hell?” I was actually kind of excited about it. I was like, “Oh my god, I’m 45 and I’m having my first pot experience!” But it did nothing.You didn’t feel high?
I didn’t feel anything! I mean, I still felt ill, but I didn’t get any of the happy effects you’re supposed to have. I don’t know, maybe the lollipops went bad? Does pot have an expiration date?Are you sure you were doing it right? I wouldn’t even know what to do with a pot lollipop. Do you lick it or light it?
I licked it. But somebody told me that you need to eat it. Somebody quite famous who grows his own (Ed note: BLIND ITEM ALERT!), he told me I should be eating it. But at this point, I feel like “Why bother?” I gave it a shot, it didn’t work. I’m over it.
MLP also dropped an interesting fact. She said that people are always gifting her bountiful amounts of the good shit in all forms! Pot bouquets! Pot brownies! Pot lube! Pot everything! Since she doesn't touch the stuff, she just gives it to friends. And that wave of clicks you just heard was a million stoners sending a FB friend request to MLP. Bitch is like the Santy Claus of stoners!
via HuffPo
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I don't believe her.
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Pull My Finger
The pious Mary Louise Parker has been p-shopped to hell and back in that pic.
Submitted by mslewis on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 2:35pm.
I've never smoked pot ever, but now I have the beginning stage of glaucoma and when I told my niece (age 22) the first thing out of her mouth was "Now you can smoke pot and they can't bother you." I just laughed because I cannot imagine smoking pot, for any reason. The glaucoma is under control for now but perhaps in the future there will be a pill containing marijuana and I won't have to feel like a loser by smoking it.
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Hi. My uncle had an Rx for marijuana pills from April 1998 until he died from colon cancer that spread like wildfire in November 1999. The Rx came from the VA hospital in San Francisco and some cancer specialist in Palm Springs. It was incredibly effective-he was a paranoid schizophrenic,alcoholic Vietnam vet- and never a single sip of liquor after taking the pills for a month.He swore it was better than the marijuana he used to buy in Jamaica and he didn't want booze-this from a man who had gone AWOL from the VA Hospital to buy beer after his third surgery to remove a malignant tumor. I tried it once,can't even tolerate the smell if someone else is smoking it (migraine & neuralgia,my stepdaughter had a three-day migraine from one hash brownie ) but I starting singing that Peter Tosh tune after I saw what my uncle went through.
ohbitchplease to that mess. I've been accused more than once of being a health freak, gym rat, track whore, etc. But though I refuse to pollute my pink lungs with smoking anything, I've enjoyed tea, cookies, ice cream, AND vapor mixed with the mystical magical Mary Jane.
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Illuminati Monarch Slave, at your service.
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Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 7:25pm.
They have lollipop form of everything, weed, heroin, who came up with drug lollipops is what I want to know.
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my guess: Tootsie Roll Tootsiepop Owl. That's where they get the "eat it don't lick" idea. 1,2,3 *chomp*
Never actually looked at her interview. The pic distracts and absolves her from any inane comments.
http://tinyurl.com/2xxhto
god could she be any more nauseating, pretentious, or deceptive? nice to know you're biting the hand that feeds you mary-louise and are just so "above" it. and you've never tried it but you have. and you don't know anything about it and aren't interested in that world but it's in your closet. i don't get this girl. she has a weird face and nothing presence, yet she's had one of the most remarkable careers in hollywood. i went to the same arts school that she did and never understood why everyone on the faculty drooled over her when there were so many other far more beautiful and talented actresses in her class ( i was a few years behind) -i always assumed her parents were paying them off or she was sleeping with one of the professors or just "yes girled" and "shit took" her way to the top. but you know, she's a famous actress and i'm not so whatevs-- you go girl!
They have lollipop form of everything, weed, heroin, who came up with drug lollipops is what I want to know.
Drinkers are a thousand times more foul and embarrassing as human beings than potheads are.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 2:27pm.
All potheads are gross fucking losers who suck their dads dick and can't get boyfriends because they come off like autistic retards. I hope we kill them because they're not worth the flesh that they embody.
Well who else's dick should I suck since I can't get a boyfriend due to my autistic retardedness? *wipes out bowl with a wet paper towel then a dry one* And don't kill us just because we are gross fucking losers, we are a peaceable type.
"I've had spots on my butt forever - it's a leopard booty."- Chippy D
Sometimes in pictures her eyes look like that runaway bride bitch. I find it so off putting when people have eyes like that.
I can't believe I read all that, it was boring as hell. Who cares? (I mean her interview, not MK's stuff)She sounds like a snooty snore.
"I didn't do pot because It wasn't rebellious enough." Whatever, you're boring.
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
I've never smoked pot ever, but now I have the beginning stage of glaucoma and when I told my niece (age 22) the first thing out of her mouth was "Now you can smoke pot and they can't bother you." I just laughed because I cannot imagine smoking pot, for any reason. The glaucoma is under control for now but perhaps in the future there will be a pill containing marijuana and I won't have to feel like a loser by smoking it.
All potheads are gross fucking losers who suck their dads dick and can't get boyfriends because they come off like autistic retards. I hope we kill them because they're not worth the flesh that they embody.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
How much for a dime bag of life?
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Seriously all the potheads I know are such gross losers
*Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuffffpuff pass to sweets
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
El B, can you score me some Life? Sounds like da bomb! What can I get for $25?
Potheads are disgusting degenerates. *puff*
i don't smoke it but i totally am for legalizing the shit.
that said, why on god's green earth is she telling the cops where she hides her stash?!
That does look like she is in the funhouse.
I love Mary Louise Parker.
That is all:)
But wait - also, perhaps next time they'd like to 'shop some legs on her that she can actually walk on.
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
From the photo, I just admire her courage for going through life without a butt crack...
To each their own obviously. I am a lousy drunk who throws up after two drinks but can pass a Real Estate exam after smoking a medicinal joint. I am lucky that I can tolerate and appreciate the benefits, under the circumstances.
Jesus is my bong and the Lord is my weed..Yeah right..
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Exceeding the sum of my parts since 5:30 this morning...
Call me a bitch, but most people I knew who smoked pot on the regular were losers. The "I gotta get high before work crowd" is just sad. I've smoked twice in my life, hated it.
I get high on life. That is why i'm a winner.
I'm a toking loser. She sounds like a bitch.
Even if I wanted to smoke it, I would have no idea where to get it. And that picture is the worst.
this is photoshop gone WAY TOO FUCKING FAR. MLP does NOT look like this at all.
Never smoked that crap. Losers do it. Now Meth.....
Pamela - In HS I smoked occassionally with my BF, but I always ended up falling asleep.
The last time I smoked, was for medicinal use, and my GF has some seriously HQ shit.
I took two hits.
We went down to the arcade and I kept freaking out thinking I was lost. So BH took me to Cold Stone Creamery, where I basically orgasmed over the ice cream and ordered some fucked up concoction of EVERYTHING on the menu. Then we got home and I spend what seemed like 20 minutes trying to figure out how to put the DVD into the DVD player before I just got up and put myself to bed.
RUH - TARD!!!!!!!!!
LMFAOOOOOOOO at Pamela!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
What an idiot. They sell these hemp lollipops, I've had them, and she is just dumb because "pot lollipops" are just made with hemp oil or something, they're legal, and they have no THC. They taste ever so slightly like the real thing. So that is why she didn't feel anything. If she really ate pot she would feel something. EPIC FAIL!
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 11:33am.
Wacky tabacky + M.E. = RUHTARD.
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Me toooo! WHen I was younger I swear I killed the braincell that knew how to park in between two cars, because one day after smoking I went to the store. I seriously forgot how, I was wicked crooked and could not straighten out! Now I avoid it at all costs, this was 10 years ago and I still havent gotten the info back!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
now you haz no avie at allll!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
i can haz fishsticks?
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"AND BY THE WAY LAST TIME I CHECKED A MAGAZINE YO' SCRAG ASS WUDN' ON DA COVER NEITHER...." A great comeback by the legendary Tigerlily.
I could see fishy's pic... HOT! but now it's gone.
and thanks fishy... yea, my work sent dlisted to banned camp.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Submitted by Thornhill on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 11:43am.
@Nova...Shouldn't that read "Spaced Mountain"...?
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HA...fer sure! :)
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
I indulge occasionally. Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. I'm way more irresponsible while drinking.
@Nova...Shouldn't that read "Spaced Mountain"...?
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Exceeding the sum of my parts since 5:30 this morning...
I still see gwyn.
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
Ok, I'll try that. Welcome back Jack!
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
IDK, can everyone else see the real fishy? Or am I the only lucky one? LOL
Refresh the page or try logging off and logging back in
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
Oh fuck! Why can't I see it? I thought it didn't work when yesterday some people put there real pics up. So I just gave up. :( I'm confused.
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
Wacky tabacky + M.E. = RUHTARD.
sttttiiilllllllllll
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
Fishy: no I see a preety girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes and it's not fishsticks!!!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
Oh, and I thought that was a photo of Khloe Kardassian at first. Not a look most women would go for....
Curious, that is what happens to me. At first I'm laughing and buzzy and an hour later I have a horrible headache and nausea.
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
*pushes snowy down, scoots over next to fishy*
how U doin?
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus