Troy Polamalu's Precious Locks Insured For $1 Million
Troy Polamalu's hair is a fantastical follicle wonderland where the souls of dead weaves go to bathe in bliss for the rest of their days, so it's no surprise that the shampoo company he's the spokesperson for would take out a $1 million insurance police to ensure that nothings happens to it. Troy's lion mane in all its glory makes Diana Ross look like a candidate for Rogaine, so his shit is priceless if you ask me. And he looks like a damn shiny happy hair flower who sprouted out of one of Chaka Khan's scalp pores, so that has to count for more.
People reports that Head & Shoulders has covered their spokerperson's double hair waterfall with a halo of protection by buying an insurance policy from Lloyds of London. Head & Shoulders said in a statement that Troy's "hair is so thick that, end to end, it spans 1,100 football fields and can hold approximately 24,062 pounds." Troy, who is the safety for the Pittsburgh Steelers, hasn't touched his locks with a pair of scissors for 7 years.
Troy added, “It’s like J.Lo’s insured butt! Head & Shoulders has gone above and beyond by insuring my Samoan locks for a cool $1 million dollars. This reinforces that my full and thick hair is unstoppable.”
Head & Shoulders should do more than just insure Troy's hair! They should force him to sleep in a basement under a basement surrounded by Kelly Rowland CDs and a dozen Michelle Williams scarecrows. Yup, you know Beyonce is lurking around the corner just waiting for the perfect moment to cut, snatch and run off with a giant piece of Troy's hair to add to her collection. I mean, she probably got off just from reading his hair's measurement.
May the Lion Queen of Camerooooon, Chantal Biya, bless the spiral fantasy on Troy's head with protection.
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Submitted by KA on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 5:03pm.
Beyonce has enough money to buy her own wigs, she doesn't need donations.
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Now this is what I call a protest
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FhMMmqzbD8&feature=popular
I asked my husband about this guy last year and he said the same thing someone else said - that he keeps it long because he's Samoan. You know what I say? Cut that shit off and donate it already. You have the hair for it, why not give it to a good cause? I have stick straight thick hair and I've been growing mine for a good year to donate it. Granted I don't think everyone should be like ME, but if you have the hair for it, give it to a good cause.
And I still have no idea how he fits all that shit into a helmet. It's gotta suck big time.
That lucky bitch. Why can't I have hair like that? I have frizzy/curly/straight hair. Seriously, I have like 3 different textures of hair on my head. My mom and I both had soft, fine hair. As we get older, it's getting curlier. Makes no sense to me. But my hair is so prone to frizzies. I am currently trying to come up with a natural formula to tame the frizz.
Back to Troy, I just wanna nuzzle in that mane. Or scalp him.
That is AMAZING! I would love to see what that feels like cause I've never seen anything like that! Think of all the bald men out there looking at him in awe!!
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I Love You More
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Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 9:40am.
ha ha angel, is that your brother?!!?!
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LOL! Could be - errbuddy knows my daddy was player;p
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
How the hell does he get that mess tucked into his helmet?
Phil Spector just peed his pants a little.
Submitted by boomsy on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 9:50am.
Submitted by agirl on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 8:14am.
"hair is so thick that, end to end, it spans 1,100 football fields and can hold approximately 24,062 pounds."
What? 24,062 pounds? How can hair "hold" weight? What does that mean?
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I don't know if there is an official way to measure hair strength, but I remember seeing an episode of Mythbusters where they actually made a rope out of human hair and scaled down like a 10 story building without it failing...so hair CAN be really strong...
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Oh! OK. I just pictured him with some heavy weights on top of his head, lol, but 24,000+ pounds would squoosh him flat!
Submitted by agirl on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 8:14am.
"hair is so thick that, end to end, it spans 1,100 football fields and can hold approximately 24,062 pounds."
What? 24,062 pounds? How can hair "hold" weight? What does that mean?
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I don't know if there is an official way to measure hair strength, but I remember seeing an episode of Mythbusters where they actually made a rope out of human hair and scaled down like a 10 story building without it failing...so hair CAN be really strong...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
ha ha angel, is that your brother?!!?!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
Meh. I don't like crazy hair on guys. Does nothing for me.
Whatever, I had a hemmorhoid insured for over a billion...on my cat.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Submitted by Goldigga on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 7:29am.
If I had a head of luscious locks like him I'd be tending to it with a golden comb while laughing haughtily at follicly challenged commoners...
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And yes. I do this daily! :)
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by agirl on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 8:17am.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 8:38pm.
"normal people hair"
What is "normal people hair"?
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Hair that's not so big people think it's fake.
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by Margaret on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 7:38am.
Lol, that picture is fake. While his real hair is luscious, I think this is a gag from a Head and Shoulders commercial.
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This. His actual hair is enviable, though. And he and Heinz Ward are the two things I love about the Steelers.
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I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. - boobxqueen on Octomom's Star cover
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 8:38pm.
"normal people hair"
What is "normal people hair"?
"hair is so thick that, end to end, it spans 1,100 football fields and can hold approximately 24,062 pounds."
What? 24,062 pounds? How can hair "hold" weight? What does that mean?
The amazing thing is what great condition his hair is in. The ends are glorious! Hope he lives in a cold place though. I shudder to think of the stink in humid conditions. He has such a wonderfully kind face.
I'd totally hit that. I find Samoan men really sexy. Evil disney should cast him as the Rock's brother in some crappy family comedy that I will totally watch.
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"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." Oscar Wilde
Lol, that picture is fake. While his real hair is luscious, I think this is a gag from a Head and Shoulders commercial. His real hair fits under a helmet just fine, it just hangs out the back. It's really curly, but not this full.
If I had a head of luscious locks like him I'd be tending to it with a golden comb while laughing haughtily at follicly challenged commoners....instead of standing in the shower sobbing as handfuls of it disappear down the drain like I do in reality :(
He looks like a total sweetheart but homeboy is crazy!! I badly wanna touch his hair though.
He has a loving and kind face. I have nothing bad to say. His hair looks crazy but it's soo very soft looking. The curls are amazing...
Tried to come up with something snarky to say but can't. He has such a pretty face and when I look at his hair very long I just want to touch it.
I am not a lesbian but my girlfriend is.
He should come out with his own Chia pet line........
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
what a gentle face!
top or bottom?
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 1:52am.
So I took Dave's car :)
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this is why you're my role model.
I'm touched. What does hoser mean again?
So I took Dave's car :)
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this is why you're my role model.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers: http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
I'd rather hug it than hit it.He has the sweetest smile. Football bored me rigid until about a year ago-rugby is hot. No pads,no helmets,no finnochio guy in the middle making Kabuki hand gestures:testoterone theatre! A friend with benefits played on Berkeley's rugby team.He and his teammates had the best manly,muscular bodies I ever saw.
I miss my long hair sometimes. It's a bitch to tame and manage! But mine was never this huge!
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Submitted by TITS on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 1:33am.
geez snandy that's rough. did your car get the hose too?
hahaha 'hoser'.
more importantly, how's eddie?
Edwin has either OD'd on bones or hurt his back. He can't hold his tail up and he doesn't want to poo. And his anal glands are fine thankYTOUAAA RRGERRRRRRAA BSNNSGRAAAAAGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 1:29am.
geez snandy that's rough. did your car get the hose too?
hahaha 'hoser'
haahhaa there ya go.
So I took Dave's car :)
geez snandy that's rough. did your car get the hose too?
hahaha 'hoser'.
more importantly, how's eddie?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers: http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
I wanna role around naked in that shit. Gorgeous.
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 12:27am.
on topic - wasn't this an entry in last years kennel club show at madison square gardens?
le woof
---le what?
Oh, I gets it! le poodle. Speaking of which, I spent the whole morning at the Vet with Eddie has a sore arse.
TIP: Next time vet offers to give constipated dog an enema, decline. Especially if you have a 3km no stopping bridge between the vet and home.
O yeah. *giggle*
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
*ahem*
r.u.d.e.
that's only 4 points in scrabble.
*delicate cough*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers: http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
When I first saw this picture, I thought it was SLASH (Saul Hudson), especially after seeing earlier today he finally divorced that BAT$HIT insane woman he called his wife (Perla). He tried divorcing her in 2006 or 2007.
Hopefully this one will stick.
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 12:23am.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:53pm.
This is the hair that always seems to sit next to me on long flights.
One word. Gum.
**OMG TITS IN DAH HAAAAAARSSSE**
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And RUDE! As usual!
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 9:55pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 8:38pm.
Dang, you and me got Opposite Head. That hair is everything mine isn't. And yet, mine is EXTREMELY hard to comb. Takes for fuckin ever. Don't ever let anybody tell you stick-straight blonde hair is desirable. Thin, tangly, dry, limp--the worst. I think I'll buy a Samoan wig.
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Oy. Yeah - the good hair is hard to come by. And a good brush. I tested SO many brushes and now I don't suffer anymore FINALLY! But the 'good' hair is both straight and curly - I know two girls who attest to that. People who do barely ANYTHING to keep their hair and it always looks perfect. Bitches.
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Hai snandywitch. Ya, back among the land of the living. sorta. went over my monthly limit and isp is choking me at 59kbps.
on topic - wasn't this an entry in last years kennel club show at madison square gardens?
le woof
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers: http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:53pm.
This is the hair that always seems to sit next to me on long flights.
One word. Gum.
**OMG TITS IN DAH HAAAAAARSSSE**
Submitted by madam s. on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 8:15pm.
angel_i,
That is khat or qat, and a Middle Eastern thing. Guys (usually) chew the leaves I think and then spit. Kava (popular in mainly the South Pacific I think) is actually PRE-CHEWED by other people and then you drink it, like Scheherazade said. Ahhaha. Way grosser.
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They do this in Peru as well It's called chicha. It's pre-chewed as well by the ppl who sell it.
I'm jealous! To think that only a few days ago I was crying as I was combing my hair after I got outta the shower because I can see too much scalp in the front part of my head! And the my sister makes matters worse by saying that there is most likely no solution. That I will probably go bald cuz my dad has been going bald since he was in his 30's.
Wowza! I thought the lead singer of coheed and cambria had the most spectacular hair ever but tony's got him beat- tony has sideshow bob beat too. Goes to show it's straight up genetics in the hair lottery.
The poison is in the dose-Paracelsus
I hate football and all sports, and all everyone seems to talk about around here are the Steelers and/or any sports team from around here, but at least this guy seems not like an asshole, unlike SOME athletes from Pittsburgh teams who've appeared in the news several times now(rhymes with Ren Boethlisburger)...
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
I too am intrigued by how he manages to get a helmet on.
This is the hair that always seems to sit next to me on long flights.
One word. Gum.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers: http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
Chewing and spitting is the grossest oral habit EVER. Whenever I see some redneck chewing "tobaccy" I wanna crack his head against the nearest wall.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Well I just saw a report about dude's hair. They showed him running back an interception and a running back tackled him by grabbing ahold of his locks. He says he keeps it long as a tribute to his Samoan heritage.
I wonder if the Rock's hair could get that long.
He is a douche. So are the Squeelers.