Wednesday, September 1st 2010
The Photoshop Awards: Matthew McConaughey's Dolce & Gabbana Cologne Ad
Matthew McConaughey's natural scent of fermented armpit jelly, patchouli oil, weed smoke, taint fromage and sweat can never be masked, so I'm not sure why Dolce & Gabbana asked him to be the face of their new cologne. But they kept the fuckery going by using the "THINNING CURSE" tool on his head before cutting and pasting it onto the body of a svelte dandy with delicate hands that only touch silk. I mean, like Matthew's real arms are even long enough for him to touch his neck anyways. Bitch please!
The pose is way too "grab my smelling salts" for Matthew to pull off. Was Chace Crawford not available?
via ONTD
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...Photoshop never ceases to amaze me....Imagine that, Photoshoping out the douchiness.....BRAVA!!!!
*golf claps*
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"I'm not doing shit to him, but fucking and having my career" ~ Montana 2010
Looks like someone merged Mattie's body and face with Christian Bale's ala Patrick Bateman. The head don't fit the body.
She is an annoying homosexual and, if we are not mistaken, a total 'power bottom' who permits nothing smaller than a baby elephant's trunk to enter her grandcanyon!
...this guy has always gotten on my nerves...
...and no matter how much they try to suave him up and/or photoshop this dude he will always strike me as unhygienic...
'...Sorry I haven't been in touch, it's just that lately I've grown to find you rather repugnant...no offense...'
Dead cold eyes. Edgar Allan Poe is already casted?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVeFylpP2_8
where is the star appeal in this ad!?
http://nikkiawesome.com
Why bother with garnering star appeal if the star himself is photoshopped almost out of the picture?
D & G = pretty fucking cheesy. So it all makes sense in the end. maybe the cologne smells like a mixture of cheating on your babymama and bong water.
it's all coming together.
http://nikkiawesome.com
Since when is Matty, aka T-Rex arms, manorexic?
All Matthew needs is the long black glove and cigarette holder and its Breakfast at Tiffanys..
I see better photoshopping in someof these avatars.
Oh MK. Between this and your "well duh!" post on John Travolta you've really made my day. Love your snappy humor :)
Looks like a fake hand sewn to the tie...his real arm must be behind his back or something...makes no sense....
Has everyone also noticed that he has the body of a tyrannosaurus rex?
no but like really, though, his arms are ten inches long. that's why he's always doing yoga shirtless and shit.
DIS-TRAC-TION.
Like when that girl came up to me in a completely seethrough top, nipples flying everywhere and she was like "can you notice?" I was like "notice what?" "My cold sores."
AMAZING. Wonky should try that more often.
GO TO MY BLOG!
http://nikkiawesome.com
Why did they make him look like a giraffe?
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
we're so used to women being photoshopped to death, it's disorienting seeing a man airbrushed this much.
Ugh now we gotta see this at every dept store makeup counter..
He kind of reminds me of a younger Michael Bolton.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
He kinda looks like bethenny frankel's husband...
Oh dear-they even made his hands look bigger lol!
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Madonna needs to stop. These days it's more like Dolce and Your Grandma.
-Submitted by Echo27 on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 5:41pm.
Once they were at it, they should have photoshopped him out allthogether. This guy makes me itch in strange places, and not in a good way.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Dog said it best...
This guy is a smelly, grungy, bobble-headed stoner whose arms are so short he can't touch his toes if he bends in half. He has never been sexy and he looks like his B.O. could fry paint.
T-Rex arms must suck..
http://disney-clipart.com/Meet-Robinsons/characters/T-Rex.jpg
This is almost as bad as the Calvin Klein photoshoporexic model ad. Jesus H Christ & Buddha, like we haven't seen his T-Rex hands forever & that face is missing a couple of hundred Texas acres of width...
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Illuminati Monarch Slave, at your service.
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The Picture of Dorian Gay.
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“Change in a trice. The lilies and languors of virtue. For the raptures and roses of vice;”
Submitted by salacious on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 11:52pm.
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O - well, yes, of course I meant through the eyes of this chopshopper...;otherwise, forget it - I got better things to do(cocks to look at;)
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 11:38pm.
Submitted by salacious on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 9:09pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 9:06pm.
How on earth does he keep that enormous head upright?
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He must have taken tips from DiCrapio.
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LOL! This picture's really fun, achally. They turned him into some kinda little suit wearing Hobbit. His hands are huge as his head. I wanna see his feet. And his cock;p
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I suspect he would need massive amounts of photoshop fuckery for his tinymeat.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
Submitted by salacious on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 9:09pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 9:06pm.
How on earth does he keep that enormous head upright?
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He must have taken tips from DiCrapio.
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LOL! This picture's really fun, achally. They turned him into some kinda little suit wearing Hobbit. His hands are huge as his head. I wanna see his feet. And his cock;p
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Why the heck would they pick this smelly bugger for this ad?
"taint fromage" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *catching breath* God, I love you, Michael K
That weird neck is bugging me out-I'm going to have nightmares of a MM head twisting all Exorcist-like. Gross.
That graphic designer should be fired! How the hell can you do such a terrible job? He reminds me of Bethany Frankel's husband in this ad.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 9:06pm.
How on earth does he keep that enormous head upright?
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He must have taken tips from DiCrapio.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
I've never thought he was that hot. Greasy and weird.
I've never thought he was that hot. Greasy and weird.
Gentleman? Uh huh, yeah right.
Cappy is right. The original face was looking in a different direction. How can those assholes get paid for such a shitty job?
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
How on earth does he keep that enormous head upright?
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Damn! Matthew McC is pretty hot when he wants to be, and D&G usually has really nice-smelling cologne...this ad could've been good.
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Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.
Submitted by scottp4 on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 7:57pm.
I know where I've seen that pose....look at Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. The shoulders are identical.
Absolutely right!
Why does he look like a cross between Christian Bale and Ed Norton in that pic?
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
I think MM is a studly (call me strange, I don't care) but this weird mannequin-Matthew scares the beejeezus out of me....he looks like a pod person who wants to suck out your brains
Someone got paid for this?
Wax hand
Head too large
Someone got paid for this?
Wax hand
Head too large
Submitted by scottp4 on Wed, 09/01/2010 - 7:57pm.
I know where I've seen that pose....look at Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. The shoulders are identical.
HaHA! You're right!
This photo is hilarious! Are D&G people totally blind? They attached poor Matthew's head to some other dude's body.
His face looks too skinny.
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"Heinous fuckery most foul, lad. Heinous fuckery most foul." ~~Christopher Moore
This reminds me of the new Julia Roberts ad for something. Where she's blonde (?!)
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the man who made t-rex arms sexy. Puuuurrr!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
I know where I've seen that pose....look at Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. The shoulders are identical.
The photo sucks but he is hot regardless of what you ugly bitter bitches say.
Yes to whomever said Bethenny Frankel's husband - as well as lookin' gay!
Add in a smidge of Scott Disick and a spoonful of Bradley Cooper and we;re all set.
Wow - that is ONE gay hybrid!
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Dark-sided!
Obviously the Queens at D&G are losing it. MMc a gentlemen? Yeah right. And he's also not good looking enough to be a model. He looks so out of place.