Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
This follicly challenged C+ actor from a hit cable show is notoriously heterosexual. When he was spotted making out with a male model and his companions started talking smack, he turned to them and said, "It doesn't matter to me. If it has a hole, I will fuck it." Oh, and he is a dad. Nice. (CDAN)
Jeremy Piven is a father?! Yes, I know Jeremy isn't a father, but besides that he fits this shit. And he sort of seems like the type who has pledged to Gerard Butler's "a hole is a hole" way of life. I'm not sure who this could be, so I'll just throw out the names of cable stars whose heads look like a wilting Chia Pet: Thomas Jane? Jon Gosselin? Larry David? Corbin Bernsen? ASkars (I know he's not a balding father, but just go with it)?
If you are a little on the chubby side and lose some weight, good for you! But don’t go around lying about how you did it. This TV girl claims to have lost weight through discipline and portion control. Seems like she forgot to mention the part where she had lap band surgery. Which, incidentally, is exactly the same surgery her husband had to lose weight. We really shouldn’t be so surprised that she is lying about this. After all, her family has a way of shaving the truth on everything. Oh, and if f she still needs to lose a tiny bit more weight, she really should consider the trunk diet. It’s where you are bound and gagged and placed naked in the trunk of a car for a few days until you lose weight or die. Whichever comes first. (Blind Gossip)
Caroline "Shave My Face" Manzo from The Real Housewives of New Jersey? Danielle better reveal this on the second part of the reunion by pulling out a ball of Caroline's old excess skin (which probably looks exactly like Grandma Wrinkles).
This B+ now movie actress used to be on a hit network drama. One day she was discussing the wardrobe she was supposed to wear and went on and on for 15 minutes about how it was just awful and the wardrobe person was awful and that if she were running the show the person would be fired. Then the wardrobe person walked in and our actress said, "You are an amazing woman. I love my clothes for this week." (CDAN)
The Katherine Hagel has two faces?! Who else?
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Submitted by suzanita on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 11:43am.
ahahahha that episode was just on today! i dont care im beyond the point in my life of trying to be cool or impress anyone thats a good ass show! i have to be at work everyday at 2pm but i usually get there at 1 bc the place is empty and i bounce back and forth between judge mathis and icarly. gets me relaxed and ready for the day!!!
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 8:05pm.
for men, sex is sex. they need to just get it down. "circle jerks" have been going on forever i remember the first time my father drunkenly admitted to being a part of one when he was 12 at thanksgiving dinner i think thats when i took up drinking at all family holidays. the fact is to men sex is just sex and i feel that women are kinda starting to finally get the idea. its less frowned upon these days to talk about ur vibrator or ur lesbian kiss in college or how u just rubbed one out to some internet porn last nite. the world is depraved and disgusting and pretty much anything goes these days and im proud as a lady that the ladies are finally catching up with what they say. i would have hated to grow up in a previous generation.
"bend me, break me, any way u need me, all i want is u"
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"It doesn't matter to me. If it has a hole, I will fuck it."
I wonder, does that include close relatives?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by M.E. on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 1:34pm.
How did children's TV shows get to be the topic of Blind Items?
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Someone posted a blind about an actress on a children's show, so it's kinda, sorta, maybe on-topic...
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"AND BY THE WAY LAST TIME I CHECKED A MAGAZINE YO' SCRAG ASS WUDN' ON DA COVER NEITHER...." A great comeback by the legendary Tigerlily.
1. Ugh, the number of "straight" men who like the peen...Honey, the stories I could tell. That blind item could be 80% of Hollywood (or 95% of U.S. fraternities).
2. It's Caroline, that fat gavone, Teresa is the whore nobody wants ever fuck, and Jacqueline is the one they have (you know she's got some skeletons in that closet).
3. Isiah Washington.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 8:05pm.
I've definitely heard the group jack-off stories (mostly from my friends who are in bands) I assume men do crazy stuff when they're confined with others and on the road (gay and straight, doesn't matter).
The gang-rape story is surprising though. Are these guys actually getting off or is it some sort of weird power issue? WTf? Now I'm curious.
The Piv is so narcassistic and convinced of his own brilliance that I'm not surprised he makes out with men either. Mind you, he probably doesn't have sexy times with them because he's probably too straight to go there, but he wants to seem "cool" amidst all the bi-sexual partner swapping that goes down in HO-llywood.
"Mah Boo releasing his inner cunt is my porn." MK
I think half of the blind items we read are made up. If half of this shit were true it would they have been exposed by now.
Angel.....Ooops. I didn't finish reading the entire blind.
My bad.
#2 is Pat Sajak. I don't know who the husband is. lol
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Pesez le matin que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au soir, et au soir que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au matin.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Then the wardrobe person walked in and our actress said, "You are an amazing woman. I love my clothes for this week."
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Ok but I love this story. It's totally something I would do;p
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by M.E. on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 1:29pm.
#2 is Kelly Osborne.
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*whines* I said so TOO! But she's not married!*pouts*
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
How did children's TV shows get to be the topic of Blind Items?
I've got ya'all beat at age 47 but I don't like iCarly at all tho Miranda is cute. I much prefer Selena Gomez and "Wizards of Waverly Place" and Demi Lovato in "Sonny With a Chance". Just watched "Camp Rock 2" and preferred the first one as it seemed more humble. I have a 10 yr old daughter who refuses to watch any of this so I watch all this kid stuff on my own. I'm forever 12 inside. :)
________________
I Love You More
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#2 is Kelly Osborne.
#3 better watch her back. Costume dragons hate idiot actresses and will make that bitch look bad.
Dude - on Ebay I got a Teddy Ruxpin in the box, his yellow worm friend that connects to him via cable (in the box), and like 20 tapes and outfits all in the box for 100 dollars. I was in high school, though. And the Nintendo I've had forever and still use. So really I only spent 100 bucks.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 12:00pm.
My kids are only going to watch shit taped from the 80s and 90s. When they beg me for the latest toy, a Teddy Ruxpin or a Nintendo, I can just pull it out of the basement because I've already started collecting outdated toys for my future kids. Creepy, huh?
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No way, that is totally awesome! 80's toys rocked! Well, so did 70's toys, but how much money do you want to spend on ebay? ;)
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"AND BY THE WAY LAST TIME I CHECKED A MAGAZINE YO' SCRAG ASS WUDN' ON DA COVER NEITHER...." A great comeback by the legendary Tigerlily.
My kids are only going to watch shit taped from the 80s and 90s. When they beg me for the latest toy, a Teddy Ruxpin or a Nintendo, I can just pull it out of the basement because I've already started collecting outdated toys for my future kids. Creepy, huh?
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
its bruce bitch...
ok, I admit it.. and I'm the oldest one.. 40 and I too.. watch "ICARLY"... My name is suzanne.. and I watch Icarly.... the episode when Sam played two parts as her and the stalker and they had a party and she kidnapped the icarly crew... I couldn't watch the end and I had to ask my son how did they get out of the sound booth??
I'm very sure the last one is Mila Kunis. And why is it a blind again?
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"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." Oscar Wilde
def. Caroline, she even said how her husband had some health issue and they put him on the lap band...trust it is 1 billion percent the Ronald McDonald bitch Caroline on #2.
Submitted by thegobbler on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 10:34am.
Yeah there shows are I DONT let my son watch Big Time Rush maybe Im being crazy but I think those boys are to girl crazy. He's only 7 and in second grade I dont need him to have any ideas yet.
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Submitted by Pamela on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 10:10am.
Submitted by chefcammi on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 6:27am.
Noooooooo NOT Miranda!!
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Oh noes...I think iCarly is such a cute show-I actually don't mind letting my boys watch it-and they love it! Miranda is just sooo adorable-I never got that "future Hollywood slut-vibe" from her. Sads!
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"AND BY THE WAY LAST TIME I CHECKED A MAGAZINE YO' SCRAG ASS WUDN' ON DA COVER NEITHER...." A great comeback by the legendary Tigerlily.
Submitted by Pamela on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 10:10am.
lol- i'll be 35 in dec! icarly rulz- sonny with a chance DROOLZ!!
~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~
"Oh, mama
I wanna go surfing
Oh, mama
I don't care about nothing"
Submitted by chefcammi on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 6:27am.
Noooooooo NOT Miranda!! I LOVE ICarly to haha and Im be 30 in a week and a half! My son watchs it all the time, we both get sooo excited when a new one comes on. That gives me the sads!
sidenote I have the hots for Jerry Trainor and Nathan Kress! :::Looks around for Chris Hanson:::
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
I don't know about Caroline for #2, her husband is still big, plus I thought lapband was for the morbidly obeses? I didn't know they put it in for chunky people.
#2 without a shadow of a doubt is the red-headed face shaving cunt...Caroline...her daddy was found in a trunk of a car dead (hence the trunk reference)..she shaves her face (hence the shave reference) and I saw her smugly tell the host at the reunion show it was "portion control"...yeah right, everyone knows she is a lying cunt, and her husband just got lap band so I knew right then she was lying...I watched that reunion show...and I am telling you, never a bigger bunch of bitches than what is on that show. I know Danielle is a genuine nut job, but dayum, those ho's were merciless on her...never let up on her for one second. I know that shit is for ratings, but I had to stop watching it it was so brutal. Brought up Junior High issues big time!
#1 must be Piven: he's a disgusting waste of sperm. My loathing of him burns with an intensity akin to my painful hatred of Parisite.
#2 EDITED: Dammit! Kelly Osborne doesn't have a hubby so it can't be her.
#1- Bill Paxton??
~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~
"Oh, mama
I wanna go surfing
Oh, mama
I don't care about nothing"
"9. BLIND GOSSIP 09/03
You probably won’t watch this show if you are over the age of thirty, but you would know the name of the girl involved. She is just so sweet and innocent looking, it’s hard to believe that she is pregnant. Or, rather, was pregnant. The father of the baby – who is a person of responsibility in the actress’ world – had to beg and plead with her to give up the thought of becoming a mother at such a young age. Oh, and if his wife had known about this, she probably would have agreed. Miranda Cosgrove/Dan Schneider, executive producer for iCarly"
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!! Miranda??? NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO! .....and Dan Scneider??? WHY WHY WHY?????? WHY not that hot-ish piece Jerry Trainor??? MIRANDA'S A CHUBBY CHASER????
YES- I watch Icarly... but its all my kids fault!!
~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~
"Oh, mama
I wanna go surfing
Oh, mama
I don't care about nothing"
Thomas Jane? Yes, please. I'll clear him a place to sit. [whips face]
Yea I can't see Larry David as a C+ anything. The guy is worth millions and millions and more millions. C+ actor? CDAN using a "+" in front of the letter C is funny. What is the difference between B- and C+ and a regular C? Funny stuff all this non-scientific classification of the celebrity caste system.
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Nothing says "real love" like matching mug shots. -Michael K
Someone suggested Duchovny for #1. That seems like an educated guess. He is after all a known cheater and a recovering sexaholic, working in an environment that may work as a trigger for relapse (because even for Dutch standards Californication is out there and daring).
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Who are you calling silly cow?
It doesn't surprise me that Caroline Manzo shaves her face cuz she looks like a man and probably has a nutsac the size of Queens. Her husband looks like they let the air out of him too....Really ugly couple.
Submitted by dementa on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 12:20am.
Submitted by SarahR. on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 12:08am.
I agree, they all suck, they are all getting paid, they are all in it by choice, and any of them could leave if they wanted, but still I just don't like to see anyone ganged up on. Okay, I make an exception for Kelly Bensimon.
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
Submitted by SarahR. on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 12:08am.
Uh, the other women are lying whores, but anybody who has checked up on Danielle's autobiography (and the investigations into her claims) knows she's full of shit too.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Finally the tide is turning on the Manzos/Lauritas/Guidices. Danielle is a whore, but at least she is more truthful and calls it like it is. The other women are just mean girl bullies that are no better. And Kim G. needs to die in a fire. Yes I am emotionally invested in this trainwreck!
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
who is that with the herpes hand? it's freaking me out.
definitely caroline manzo. i realize danielle is crazy but all those women love to gang up on her so much. danielle needs to take her kids and move to new zealand before she ends up in a trunk.
that andy is really a young version of jerry springer.
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I didn't ask to be hated
I just don't mind being a bitch.
(Courtney Love)
Didn't someone mention Kelly Osbourne yesterday for #2 - inadvertently, I mean...
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by HoityToity on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 9:34pm.
Damn, if there were more honest chicks like you, teaching their kids what it is all about, we would have a much more tolerant world. You are a rockin' kinda chick in my book, sister.
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You just made my night! BACKATCHA! *fist bump*
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 9:26pm.
---Johnny is admittedly not 100% straight and that is why we are together - I don't trust any man who bluffs about how he is airtight hetero and I'm also not turned on by that. What gets me is that there is such a vehement "I AM SO NOT GAY" sentiment out there, and yet this common behavior that flies in the face of it. Ya know? Like, these jock types that are all "DIE FAGS" yet are practically fencing with their dicks in the locker room.
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Damn, if there were more honest chicks like you, teaching their kids what it is all about, we would have a much more tolerant world. You are a rockin' kinda chick in my book, sister.
Submitted by HoityToity on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 9:10pm.
This has been my experience as a gay guy:
Ladies, despite how religious, homophobic or macho your man seems, you just never know.
---Johnny is admittedly not 100% straight and that is why we are together - I don't trust any man who bluffs about how he is airtight hetero and I'm also not turned on by that. What gets me is that there is such a vehement "I AM SO NOT GAY" sentiment out there, and yet this common behavior that flies in the face of it. Ya know? Like, these jock types that are all "DIE FAGS" yet are practically fencing with their dicks in the locker room.
Fuck, many gays like me are kinda pissed at that because we can't find an available good gay guy anymore because of their ads filling up the CL page.
---Dude, I am sorry to hear that. FUCK! Why can't people just be honest with themselves and others?
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 8:05pm.
Regarding Blind Item #1: Would any of the guys out there like to weigh in on this shit? I mean, what is the deal? Will men really just fuck anything?
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This has been my experience as a gay guy:
Ladies, despite how religious, homophobic or macho your man seems, you just never know. I have had more encounters with married guys of all types (one even had a nazi tattoo who loved to get fucked) than I had with gays. It seems there are more of them, willing to throw their legs up in the air, than the one I really want---a nice, drama-free, gay guy. And that is another thing, there are so many of them that are willing to turn their cheeks my way, that these days I don't even ask if they are into getting their booty busted--I just assume that they are. And let me tell you, my assumptions are correct 90% of the time. Not only that, many seem far from being a "virgin" and it is always the ones you would least suspect!
And now for the alarming news: Many of these married guys are having unprotected sex with multiple annonymous partners in porno theaters and bookstores/video arcades. These days they are also hooking up on Craigslist. Just go to the "men looking for men" section and you will see the sheer number of married guys looking for sex with other guys. Fuck, many gays, like me, are kinda pissed at that, because we can't find an available good gay guy anymore because of their ads filling up the CL pages.
1. What'shisface from whatchamacallit.
2. Caroline Manzo
3. Anniston.
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Shiitake happens...
"Also, the "trunk" reference refers to Caroline's husband's dead father, "Tiny" Manzo, a mob boss who was found murdered in the trunk of his car."
Ding ding ding! He was found naked, bound and shot. Nice catch.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
1. Evan Handler from Californication? Married and has a kid.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 8:05pm.
I bet there are HARDLY ANY women out there who have ever participated in an adolescent sleepover-lets-all-rub-one-out-and-see-who-can-get-done-fastest party.
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You're probably right about that. I'm a little disturbed that you're making me think of my pervert neighbor.
@Twat Muffin: That show, to me, is definitely the funniest of all time. So many hilarious episodes! I think my fave, though, is the Chef With Tourettes one. That last cursing fit is so insanely funny!
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Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.