Saturday, September 4th 2010

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Tiger, the brave pussy who saved her 97-year-old owner from getting mauled by a pack of memaw hungry pit bulls!

Sophie Thomas was primping and pruning her petals in her front yard when she felt the heat of danger singeing into her delicate and pure skin. A gang of pit bulls from next door circled around her with a look in their eyes that told Sophie they were thirsty for Metamucil-infused blood! One of the pit bulls bit at Sophie's arm which caused her to fall back and scream.

And then, a cold wind blew through the yard and the faint sound of Michael Jackson's "Bad" whispered out of a radio sitting near Sophie's kitchen window. The pit bulls turned and in swooped WONDER PUSSY! Tiger gave a wink, puckered her lips and ran off. Tiger's plan worked and the pit bulls chased after her giving Sophie a chance to escape into the house.

As Sophie cleaned her wounds, her mind wandered over to the dark image of her feline savior getting torn a part by the pit bulls. But that picture was quickly erased when Sophie saw Tiger at the front door carrying one of the pit bull's heads in her mouth. No, she didn't have a dog head in her mouth, but she would've if she didn't feel like letting those pit bulls go with just a warning. Those dogs should be thanking the pussy gods above that Tiger was feeling charitable that day.

And we should also give thanks, because now the name Tiger will make us think of a granny saving wonder cat instead of a vaginaholic golfer who sticks it in anything that's lubed up. VIVA TIGER!

Video below:


Posted by: Michael K


LCFitz's picture

Cats are so awesome. Team Tiger all the way!

As for the Pits, I don't know anything about them except that what they've been able to do with that arsehole Vick's dogs is proof that sometimes even abused Pits can be rehabilitated into family dogs. It really does seem to depend on the dog and owner combination.

/rant on
Some years ago, my old dog and I were attacked by what I assume where Golden Retriever/Black Lab mixes - black lab head and body with long hair makes me think that's what they were - and you never hear about these breeds being aggressive. BUT these dogs had trash owners who had managed to trash their house to the point that it looked little better than the trailer in the video. Huge dogs with lots of energy + little/no attention and training = aggressive dogs that are going to bite someone or their dog and have to be put down.

Honestly, I wish we could see to it that people like that are never allowed to have children or pets, because what are the odds they're going to do a better job next time? Slim to none.
/rant off

Bjork You's picture

Tiger is not the one.

Meeshie's picture

I'm surprised she didn't choke on her Werthers Original when she fell over after the first attack.

LASux's picture

Why does that inked up Trash need 4 PIT BULLS in a trailer?????? God I hate these ppl.

Centaurious's picture

Ha!

This totally reminds me of today at the dog park, when my pug was lunging and snarling at two small children in the water playing with all the dogs while he was swimming, I called to their parents, he's a bully, he will snarl and jump, but he's 7 and has never bitten anyone in his life!

I said if your kids are scared by his activities, I'll leave the park, but if they don't care just ignore him!

They were laughing, they said, as long as he doesn't bite, he's hilarious! Our kids are not afraid of dogs.

I then informed them that he was terrified of my cat, which is in fact true.

He does not like children, though. Probably because he's never been socialized to them. He's still scared of them, though. He bullies my cat until she turns around and hisses at him, then he runs to hide under my skirts.

_________________________________
“Change in a trice. The lilies and languors of virtue. For the raptures and roses of vice;”

"And then, a cold wind blew through the yard and the faint sound of Michael Jackson's "Bad" whispered out of a radio sitting near Sophie's kitchen window."

Genius! I have read this about ten times, and still practically piss myself from laughing. MK, totally bow to you! You are a god!

There's a rock group called "Killer Pussy". Tiger should be on their next album cover. For real.
wwww.thatisnotnews.blogspot.com

Submitted by jussayin on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 9:52pm.
You're right.
My favorite breed of dog is chow-chow and some people believe they are utter hellions.

jussayin's picture

first off...no "pet" dogs should be running around in packs

second...all dogs have teeth and can bite, so respect all breeds! It's not a "pit" thing or a "rockwilder" thing...most of the time it's a stupid human being at the root of the problem.

third...my pit is not only the most mellow and sweet dog, but he also loves his kitty and they snuggle together in a pet bed! cuteness!! because he was raised and trained right.

PS I do it for a living....Rotts, Shepherds, and Chihuahuas have way worse temperments than pitbulls, and it's usually made worse by some idiot pet owner....

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Submitted by babybunny on Wed, 06/30/2010 - 2:47pm.
bitch, cunt, whore, slut, fuckers and fucking are mandatory to write if you comment on dlist. Did you not get your booklet???

Good job little kitty.

angel_i's picture

Submitted by mslewis on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 10:48am.

Incidents like this are exactly why pit bulls have been banned in a lot of cities. Those things are dangerous and should not be allowed out unchained. They could have killed that old lady. The neighbor should be arrested and her pits should be put down. There is nothing funny about this incident.

When my niece was 11 years old, she was walking with her little shizu(sp?) in her neighborhood. All of a sudden two pit bulls attacked her dog. She picked up her dog and started to run but those pits trapped her in a corner and scared her to death.
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And ha! I wasn't gonna talk no more...but this is the "misunderstood" part. If those pits were out to kill, that dog would have been dead. Pits don't hesitate. The fact that they did means that they really did probably just want to play with that dog - it's just that their play is way too scary for a little dog.

That being said, it's not appropriate for them to be running free. My doggie got out THREE times...over 14 years, mind, and each time we were EXTREMELY lucky with the outcomes but it DID get my heart pounding, damn. More becuz I thought someone would hurt HIM for misconstruing his actions. It would happen all the time just cuz of the way he looks.

That's why as someone else said previously, pits do need a little extra care. I never expected my pit to be anything like my border collie who just was kinda always around. I never leashed that dog and he was just kinda always by my side and sometimes he wasn't but no biggie cuz he just didn't even need it, he was so intelligent and mellow. My pit on the other hand - while just as loving - was a freaking idjit in the body of a tank, he had no such freedom.

♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques

angel_i's picture

(((HUGS)))@The Mad Catter and one million kisses:)

♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques

chefcammi's picture

@ Pamela
thanks!! He's a cutie! ~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~
"Oh, mama
I wanna go surfing
Oh, mama
I don't care about nothing"

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 10:57am.

this coming from a hoarder of fuzzy kitties... i smell a trap!!... who brings "facts" into a convo?!... i will not click the link... nope... i won't fall for your trickery!LOL!

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

The Mad Catter's picture

If anyone is interested in, you know, FACTS, you can check out some information about dog temperament here: http://www.atts.org/

The American Pit Bull Terrier is most certainly not classified as the most aggressive, or most likely to attack, breed.

--------------------------------------

19 Cats and Counting!

THE FULL RELEASE LOOP

What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR

bfreedmb's picture

Thanks not a house, thats a trailer.

mslewis's picture

Incidents like this are exactly why pit bulls have been banned in a lot of cities. Those things are dangerous and should not be allowed out unchained. They could have killed that old lady. The neighbor should be arrested and her pits should be put down. There is nothing funny about this incident.

When my niece was 11 years old, she was walking with her little shizu(sp?) in her neighborhood. All of a sudden two pit bulls attacked her dog. She picked up her dog and started to run but those pits trapped her in a corner and scared her to death. The owner of the pits showed up and got the dogs before they did anything. When my niece got home and told her Daddy, he hit the streets with a gun looking for the dogs and their owner. Luckily his wife had called the police and they managed to catch up with him before he got to the neighbor. The dogs and the owner were taken into custody and the dogs were put down and the owner got 30 days in jail because pit bulls are illegal in our city. All in all, it was a very dangerous and scary situation for my niece and her baby doggie.

I hate pit bulls!!

Winnyfranfran's picture

Kitteh!

Green Is Good's picture

The owners of these Pit Bulls need to be put down. How fucking hard is it to keep your dogs in your own damn yard?

Hope Grandma here SUES THE SHIT out of them.

Pamela's picture

Submitted by chefcammi on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 6:24am.
Congratulations! I bet hes cute and I LOVE his name!

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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm

damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!

chefcammi's picture

hey to the ppl here that "know" me- we just added a puppy! a bichon/poodle boy named rocky!! he's 6mos. i wish we could hve a cat too :(

~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~
"Oh, mama
I wanna go surfing
Oh, mama
I don't care about nothing"

bigorexia's picture

Bwah. Cats only care about themselves. I am sure she just wandered off and ran away to save her own skin, then she came back because she was hungry and wanted somewhere to sleep.

Team Dog all the way.

Khensu Hetep's picture

I'm shocked by CatholicSchoolGirl's account on the Great Dane. I have a 12 year old Great Dane who is very friendly. We adopted her when she was still kind of a puppy, her previous owners starved her and she used to be terrified of people, but never aggressive. For the first year or so, she used to cower and hide from most people.

She's never actually been hyper either. She's pretty calm and very affectionate toward other animals and humans. She loves our new kitten. Sometimes the kitten will pat her nose with her paw and she'll just sniff at her for a few seconds.

I have heard from my mother that Great Danes were originally bred aggressive, but over time the breed mellowed out and made better pets. Great Danes aren't that common around here, but I've been around several and all of them were friendly and in fact enjoy a lot of attention from people.

That being said, there are some irresponsible owners and no matter how docile a breed's reputation may be, there are always a few bad apples.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(

===============================================

I was once stalked in the street by a pack of stray dogs, at least six of 'em, they were following me and growling, and I was like, damn the closest one was right on the brink of biting me. Fortunately I had a knife with me, so I turned around and forced them to back off.

That said, against purebred Pitbulls, Rottweilers or Malamutes that might have not necessarily worked.

El Bastardo's picture

Pit Bulls are very loving BUT i wouldn't let 'em babysit my pet hamsters.

justincase's picture

I hate pit bulls but I love cute little kitties and feisty old ladies.

We had a pom named Ringo when I was a teenager (for BitchHouse at 4:31pm).

Manimal5's picture

I love dogs but I don't have one presently. One we had to get rid of because it bit my neighbors kid...we really didn't know why either...it just happened. It was a german shepard beautiful dog...I missed him a great deal.

As far as pits go...I don't really know much about them except that drug dealers seem to love them.

iHeartHaters's picture

Submitted by GinaOliviaMallory on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 9:34pm.

Probably not the most popular opinion but I agree with you completely. The truth hurts & people get pissed but oh well. Animals with locking jaws do not appeal to me.

I have a keekee named Tiger too:) Go Tiger!! Still fuckin laffin at the whole "Bad" scenario.

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP3Q1nOzgR0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

aw yay! Cat Power!

*******************************************************************

Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

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I've heard so many times how pit bulls are a "misunderstood" breed and if one does attack then it's blamed on a bad owner and not the breed but my question to that is why are there so many pit bull attacks? There are lots of bad owners who have many different breeds and yet I mainly hear of pit bull attacks.

And I know there are some sweet ones but I don't buy that's it's not the breed. It obviously IS and of course with everything, there are a few exceptions. They are a breed that needs extra care and supervision above and beyond what another breed might need and when one an owner isn't necessarily bad but just not AS attentive, their dogs can attack. For that, I blame the breed.

my cat is like this - she woke me up when my friend (who needs to be at work at 6AM) slept over and started making noise in the living room. my kitty meowed and meowed and stood at my bedroom door looking at it like - 'do you hear that, bitch? are we being invaded?"

my dog is huge and scary looking but in a fight i'd put my money on the cat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I didn't ask to be hated
I just don't mind being a bitch.
(Courtney Love)

onthefringe's picture

Yay for 97yr old Sophie and her cute kitty!

Boo for the idiot neighbor.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Catskill Animal Sanctuary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNU5jZhfBFI&feature=channel

letinstar's picture

Pussy power !!!
__________________________________________
sit your $5 ass down before i make change...

angel_i's picture

Wow, I really ranted and raved up in here. I miss my dog:( He was the second best person I ever knew.

PS. Yay Kitty!

PPS. I had a Siamese that randomly attacked all the time, crazy bitch.

♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques

CoconutCoochie's picture

This is one of the many reasons why I prefer cats to dogs. Cats never randomly attack someone, or another animal. They only attack if they feel threatened.

catholicschoolgirl's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 6:38pm.
Ha! Humans scare me a lot more. They have thumbs!_______________________________
And far more transmittable diseases.
_______________________________
I smell bananas! Am I back? what's in my ass?
Chirio 8/8/10

paris herpes's picture

Any inbred animal with a bad owner like pitbulls sometimes will attack humans and kitties too. If people are more mindful of how they treat their animals this wouldn't happen so often and pitbulls wouldn't be stigmatized so by the media and people who are scared of them in general. I've known plenty of them and they are so SWEET and perfectly lovable and loyal to their owners. You also need to be aware that their bite can cause bleeding (just like with any dog or cat really) and they can hurt young children and other animals. Even if they are "playing"...at least that's what I've seen from the ones who have "issues". But most pitbulls I've known are pretty chill and have decent owners who are aware of this.

"Mah Boo releasing his inner cunt is my porn." MK

paris herpes's picture

Any inbred animal with a bad owner like pitbulls sometimes are will attack humans and kitties too. If people are more mindful of how they treat their animals this wouldn't happen so often and pitbulls wouldn't bet stigmatized so, I've known plenty of them and they are so SWEET and perfectly lovable and loyal to their owners. You also need to be aware that their bite can cause bleeding and they can hurt young children and other animals. Even if they are "playing"...at least that's what I've seen from the ones who have "issues". But most pitbulls I've known are pretty chill and have decent owners who are aware of this.

"Mah Boo releasing his inner cunt is my porn." MK

paris herpes's picture

That kitty is so PRECIOUS! And smart...I guess she loves her human that much huh? COOL!

"Mah Boo releasing his inner cunt is my porn." MK

angel_i's picture

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 5:46pm.

After my encounter with the dog, I often wonder if I had a similar encounter with a human, how would I react?
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Ha! Humans scare me a lot more. They have thumbs!

♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques

catholicschoolgirl's picture

Submitted by soraya on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 5:44pm.
Perfectly normal family dogs of any breed can maul a little kid if they get too excited and I have been bitten by a dog who was "playing" with me
______________________________
You're so right - I've talked with my vet and he said he always warns all owners of large dogs (and especially dogs that belong to the "hunting breed")that a dog can see a running child and switch into "hunting mode", meaning they see that child as prey. It's a natural instinct for the dog and they'll immediately give chase and try to take down the prey. As much as we love our dogs, if we're going to be responsible owners we have to think like a dog, not like a human.
_______________________________
I smell bananas! Am I back? what's in my ass?
Chirio 8/8/10

catholicschoolgirl's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 5:38pm.
When a Rottie's going to attack he gets REALLY quiet and intense...his head lowers so slowly its' almost imperceptible...and all you can think is: Holy shit, howm I gonna get that COW off me when it leaps? Like, I could FEEL his flesh on me already and it was suffocating me. I was walking towards him but stopped dead and knew that turning back wouldn't be a good idea either.
______________________________
Wow, I can tell from your description you've been there and know the fear. After my encounter with the dog, I often wonder if I had a similar encounter with a human, how would I react?
_______________________________
I smell bananas! Am I back? what's in my ass?
Chirio 8/8/10

Whatever's picture

Very brave kitty!

soraya's picture

Aww what a clever and brave pussy! I love her to death but I'm pretty sure my cat would just start licking her butt if pit bulls started circling me.

All of the people saying that dogs are only dangerous if they're abused are right in a lot of cases but not 100%. Perfectly normal family dogs of any breed can maul a little kid if they get too excited and I have been bitten by a dog who was "playing" with me (owner- "she's just so friendly!")

Yea my cat probably is more aggressive than a lot of dogs but the difference is she can't permanently maim (or kill) someone.

Kandykane's picture

Awwww yay for the kitty!! I love cats.... I've got 6 plus one outnumbered dawg. Gotta have my daily dose of Kitty Love.

angel_i's picture

@csg: O I know! I've been around a lot of dogs. That Malamute was the worst.The second he walked in my place I was on high alert. And I had to walk that thing on a leash. I was all: Whatever you say, sir! And he promised to try not to eat me...OMG I had him 3 MAYBE 4 days and then he had to go!

and as I said - my dog and I were lunged at more than once. The little dogs were nothing; I just didn't want them to get hurt. But the Rottie - OMG, they're scary. When a Rottie's going to attack he gets REALLY quiet and intense...his head lowers so slowly its' almost imperceptible...and all you can think is: Holy shit, howm I gonna get that COW off me when it leaps? Like, I could FEEL his flesh on me already and it was suffocating me. I was walking towards him but stopped dead and knew that turning back wouldn't be a good idea either...he stupid owner was chatting around the corner and he was off-leash....I didn't want to make any sudden sounds or movements...eep! That was definitely one of the times I realized I was some kinda professional cuz here I am! Alive!(and my dog lived too) YAY ME!;p BOO Big fucking loser dude who din't even help with his own dog (honestly, I think he was paralyzed - again we were leashed and he wasn't) ! I was thinking: Damn - I could use some man muscle in here please! Jeesh!

And one time this other dog...but this guy with a hose...really - I've been quite lucky; only seriously injured twice but nothing forever-like.

But lol - I just realized the worst is when they come flying around the corner all frothy and snarling. For serious.

♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques

catholicschoolgirl's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 5:04pm.
______________________________
Angle - I ain't kidding - when that dog started circling me, I learned the meaning of "blood turning to water". I was never so scared. After I left my asshole neighbors house, I went home and took 2 VICODINS (left over from a previous injury in which I didn't take them) just to calm down and stop shaking. I'll say it again - if a dog is menacing you and means you harm - you know it. It's a primative fear.
_______________________________
I smell bananas! Am I back? what's in my ass?
Chirio 8/8/10

catholicschoolgirl's picture

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 12:33pm.
Another problem with pit bulls is a LOT of trash out there breeds them FOR AGGRESSION. A lot of breeds are getting fucked up in general and having mental and health problems due to inbreeding and selective breeding for extreme traits, but it's even more fucked up when super aggressive dogs are being mated with one another purposely.
______________________________
You're 100% right. My family rescued an American Eskimo from a shelter because a friend had one and swore up and down it was the best ("most protective") dog around. I loved him to death and he was the cutest thing on four legs, but he was also insanely possessive of his territory - specifically the back yard. After he bit two family members we had to take him back to the rescue and they told us that this was a problem with the breed. Not to be a bitch, but maybe the breed should be outlawed. We have enough to worry about with aggressive maniac humans running around society - at least the dog population we might have some more control over.
_______________________________
I smell bananas! Am I back? what's in my ass?
Chirio 8/8/10

angel_i's picture

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 4:53pm.

Yay Tiger! I'm normally more of a dog-lover then a cat-lover, but that's one brave pussy to take on pit bulls. I had a neighbor who raised Great Danes (the "Marmaduke" dogs),
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Ack! Great Danes! I was gonna mention those. All the Richies started to get them cuz they were "in" and I went into my new vet at the time and was talking to him about people fear (like, was HE ok) and such and he liked pitbulls lots, in fact but then he said: "you know what scares me tho? All the Great Danes I get, lately. They're known to be unstable and they're huge! I wish people would stop buying them...something bad is going to happen, definitely." I have no Great Dane stories but I don't see them around any more either;p

♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques