Tuesday, September 7th 2010

Party At The US Open

At the US Open yesterday, Asshole Simpson let the free booze go straight to her head and carry her off to the top of a bar in Missouri where she threw up her hands to Skynrd while fat truckers in flannels threw jukebox tokens at her. Bitch, you're at a tennis match, not at a church funeral with my relatives (my relatives always find a reason to drunk dance). Sit your ass down next to Emo Gilligan over there.

Where was Grandpa Decorum of the US Open to charge at Ashlee and put an end to her foolishness?

Cameron Diaz, who always behaves like a refined lady at all times, was obviously not amused by any of this (or maybe she just let out one of those super slow beer farts):

Here's more of Ashlee working for those camera clicks in front of Pete Wentz, Cammy, A-Rod, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale.

Posted by: Michael K


GrlBhvingBadly's picture

All my girlfriends with kids act the same way as Ashley when they finally have a night out to drink. Don't act like some of ya'll don't do the same thing ;)

dubious1's picture

Terrible pic of C. Diaz. My boyfriend says he used to "drool" (probably code for rubbing one out) - over her! Now, he says yuck!
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie

Like any of these celebs actually enjoy watching tennis. Tennis is almost as boring as watching golf.

RememberNovember's picture

Gwen is pregnant! Ahhhh! She's going to have a girl...and finally get to paint her daughter's nails instead of her son.

islandgirl's picture

Submitted by Daniee on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 1:31am.
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Hey, what's wrong with Trooper? Words to live by, eh? :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qFIaI1M5kU

*adjusts mullet*

Although I don't care for Fall Down Girl or Asinine Simpson,I hope she doesn't have a drinking problem or an eating disorder.Doesn't she have two small children? The Other Simpson girl always seems desperate for approval,attention, and respect.That,combined with her appearance,makes a food or booze problem likely.I love that Chanel bag.
What's up with Cameron Diaz? Her face is older than her age.

Submitted by Daniee on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 1:31am.
LMAO! Gwen Stefani frequently tries to appear quirky-cute, edgy,etc Photos of her older son wearing fingernail polish irritate me. I doubt that he paints his own nails-children don't have great fine motor skills at that age- as much as I doubt that he asks for manicures.
Gavin Rossdale is hot.

Daniee's picture

WTF, Gwen and her man try WAY too fucking hard.....they continue to look like 15 year old suburban kids from 1997 dressing one another to go to a party with high school drop out old dudes who will buy your beer for you and listen to Trooper.

ScarfnBarf's picture

I'm not an Ashley fan in the least, but it looks like she's having fun - good for her. Who says you have to sit at a tennis match? It's a sport isn't it? And her outdoor summer outfit is 10billion times cuter than Gwen's. I'm a Gwen fan, but her outfit is for shit. An Addidas jacket with flounce - nice try. And what is Cameron cozing up to in the 3rd Tnail?

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by beakers bitch on Tue, 09/07/2010 - 11:57pm.
In thumbnail #9, it looks like Wentz is saying, "Honey, we need to have a serious talk about your drinking..."
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you may be on to something there... yes, i know that look all too well

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

beakers bitch's picture

In thumbnail #9, it looks like Wentz is saying, "Honey, we need to have a serious talk about your drinking..."

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

AAAAHHHHH!!!!.... mom! Cameron Diaz scared me!!

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

OHPLEAZ's picture

Ashlee looks like she hasn't bathed in 1 week and her clothes look like she got them from Goodwill. Cameron has always had that face!

Mitchymitch's picture

HAHAhAhahaa. What the. The has-beens decided to meet up at the US open.

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http://mitchmode.blogspot.com/

ritzyroxie's picture
ritzyroxie's picture

I bet Asshlee had a bullhorn and right before these pics were taken could be heard screaming: "LOOK AT ME I STINK AND DANCE! TAKE PICTURES!" Oh wait, she lip sunk(is that right?)that.

angel_i's picture

I was tryna figure the look on Gwen's face and I decided it's "WTF you stupid bitch? Siddown. Now the paps just found us and I have to smile like I find you amusing. Dumbass. "

♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Neurotic's picture

I thought Gwen Stefani was Tori Spelling for a second.

Every single one of these assholes looks pretty beat, high strong and under the influence.

BernardProfitendieu's picture

what an attention-starved skeez!

jussayin's picture

boooo!
sitchoazzdown!

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Submitted by babybunny on Wed, 06/30/2010 - 2:47pm.
bitch, cunt, whore, slut, fuckers and fucking are mandatory to write if you comment on dlist. Did you not get your booklet???

Erika_Leigh's picture

ewww skank when is the last time she bathed. someone hose her disease ridden mange down

TheBreakdown's picture

Half the damn celebrities there can barely count to ten, let alone count score in a tennis match.

And since when was the meth skank look EVER in?

Bathe, bitches!

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TrashyWilma's picture

Damn Ashlee. Looks like all those years of dying your hair red, turning your head only a certain way when photographed, and all of the plastic surgery to make everybody forget that you FAILED at a singing career has finally broken you.

Oh yeah, and the guy you call your husband looks like an overgrown child. Bet he fucks like one, too.

http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/

sparkys nemesis's picture

Cammy channeling her inner Joker Smile?

dfanintheD's picture

Asshole, Pete, and A-Roid made the event a hot mess.

Capitanne's picture

Ashlee Simpson actually thinks she's relevant? Dumb bitch is trying to look like Curt Cobain on heroin yet she's stripper dancing at the US Open? What a total douche

MzSassy's picture

Submitted by azgirl on Tue, 09/07/2010 - 5:24pm.
Ashlee looks so gross. She looks like my meth head classmate who always was high and smelled like petuli oil.
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Ashlee looks like the last time she took a bath and changed her underwear was absolute weeks ago. She looks positively FOUL!!!

"People are strange when you're a stranger...Faces look ugly when you're alone." ~ The Doors

Cookie-Slore's picture

I'm sure everyone and their momma has said it already but Ashlee, WASH YOUR HAIRS, CHILD!

What grown-ass person goes out in public looking like that?!

When you look up the definition of the word "Irrelevant" in the dictionary, there's a picture of Asshole Simpson next to it.

As for Cameron Diaz, time's not her friend. It's like she's dissolving right in front of our eyes...

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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits

azgirl's picture

Ashlee looks so gross. She looks like my meth head classmate who always was high and smelled like petuli oil.

WFT was with that hat? Yo, nancy boy, Annie hall called and she wants her headgear back.

parissucksliterally's picture

Cameron is nowhere near as good looking as she used to be.

Ashlee si making me believe she is Enty's "Coke Mom"

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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."
-Britney Spears

babybunny's picture

Asshole Simpson looks like she is on crack...wash your hair much, bitch?? She is scary skinny too.

Infamous's picture

whoa Ashlee has aged like 10 years. Gwen looks better than her!

www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous

mike's picture

Submitted by EvilShoe on Tue, 09/07/2010 - 4:52pm.

I'm waiting for Gwen's hair to fall out from all that damn hair bleach. It doesn't even come close to looking natural.

I think she and Christina Aquilera are in some kind of contest.

angel_i's picture

OMGLOL! All day I've been wondering: Emo Gilligan? She doesn't look like GILLIGAN! I don't get it. I just realized she's there with some guy. And he's telling HER to sit down. Duh.

♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

EvilShoe's picture

I'm waiting for Gwen's hair to fall out from all that damn hair bleach. It doesn't even come close to looking natural.

___________________________
Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK

EvilShoe's picture

Emo Gilligan

Bwahahahahaha! I love you Michael!

___________________________
Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK

kanderso's picture

Asslee is a dumb ho. Gwen is still so darn cute, sitting there with Gavin. I still have a girl crush on her after all these years. Ever since her No Doubt days back in the 90s.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen

ILovePapaSmurf's picture

That wrist tat of hers is so not cute.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Rdeadline's picture

Dirty, Filthy HIPSTERS!! *crosses self*

Albatross's picture

Submitted by IWannaBeMonicaB... on Tue, 09/07/2010 - 3:11pm.
She's just dancing to the wrong song in her head again, that's all.

HAW!

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"I was born with glitter on my face,
My baby clothes made of leather and lace"

Albatross's picture

Wow, Asslee's not getting any prettier, is she?

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"Strut for me, and show me what you're workin' with." --Glambert!

Talula's picture

A giant, hot, boulder from the sun(?) could land on everyone in that area, and I'd be fine with that.

Bjork You's picture

"Emo Gilligan."

Je t'aime, M.K., je t'aime.

What a classless idiot.

citizenstrange's picture

How would you like to go home to that every night?

trixy lv's picture

What is that thing hanging from gavins jacket in thumbnail 5?

Chirio's picture

KILL those high waisted cut off shorts! SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!!

Coma Caca!
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Ah yes, the quintessential white girl "woo-hoo-I'm-a-free-spirit-with-my-arms-over-my-head" dance.