White Oprah Never Gets A Day Off
Can't White Oprah just have one full day of lying passed out on the garage floor (with car keys still in hand) without Nana Lohan having to tase her in the neck to tell her that once again someone has dragged the innocent Lohan name through the mud! Kind of like how White Oprah had to drag herself out of the T.G.I.Friday's to barf her 8th Mud Slide of the night into the bushes. Sort of like that. Sort of.
Hopefully White Oprah will get tomorrow off, because today she had to rinse the turnpike party out of her mouth to release a statement in response to a judge calling Snooki a "Lindsay Lohan wannabe." The judge called Snooki this after she declared she was guilty of getting tanked on the beach (she was sentenced to 2 days of community service). White Oprah kept her statement to TMZ pretty simple:
"The family is very disappointed that a judge would say that in a court of law."
It really is disgusting that a judge would compare Snooki to Lindsay Lohan. I mean, LiLo has snorted a lot of lines, hit a lot of parked cars, gotten a lot of DUIs and told a lot of people to fuck off to get where she is today! And what has Snooki done? The Wookie of Poughkeepsie has a long way to fall before she even comes close to LiLo. Thankyouverymuch.
Here's Snookers going to the movies with JWoww and Deena today before showing up to court. Whatever you do, do not let Tim Peeler see Snooki's boots. I don't think he can handle it.
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Submitted by highAboveManhattan on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 7:30am.
A few weeks ago, some cunt came into my work with those big furry ugg boots and a short denim dress.
She and her buddies were being a bunch of dicks, but the joke was on her really, because that fashion went out of style in 2005 and she just looked like an outdated yuppie fucktard.
...Which she was.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
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What is even more shocking is that Dinadelusional and the whole Locohan clan don't see what an effing joke they all are.
What a legacy for your other children. To be the laughing stock of the civilized world.
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"The Wookie of Poughkeepsie..."
That just made me shoot coffee out my nose!
LMFAO this is that BEST STATEMENT ever made by a judge!!! Hot Slut of the year type Judge right here!!! Bwahahahaha Im going to be laughing all day long!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
why is that fashion-challenged little troll, snookie, wearing winter snow boots in the summer? anyone?
Yeah! Way wrong, indeed.
As obscene as Wookie may be, she's actually doing better than Lindsay Lohan. Wookie'd be downgrading herself by imitating Blohan.
And yet, Blohan and her mom think she's still got a career left. Sorry, but that ship sailed in 2005 (or earlier).
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
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My god, this bitch is SO delusional. Doesn't she get it that her daughter is thought of as a total joke, due to her idiotic & self indulgent actions?
Example - On "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations", he was in Panama, and the DEA let him light the fire to burn something like 10 tons of coke. The first thing out of his mouth was "There will be no Lindsay Lohan jokes"...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Snooki always looks to me like she has some sort of weird skin disease that makes you turn orange.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
that snooky girl looks like she has a disease that she may not get rid of and an itchy place that she can't scratch in public, I have a feeling that's why White Oprah always throws her head back. Her itch is driving her insane. They both look like their breath smells like putrid.
@Lory:
Yes, that counts.
*starts giggling again*
@Angel_I:
Make peace with your nature. I was born old with a tendency to laugh easily.
When Mr. W asked me which type of briefcase I carried to kindergarten,I laughed for about a half mile. Not long after that,I gave him my kindergarten report cards to read when he had the blues. It worked.
And if her name hadn't been mentioned she'd be sueing the courts for neglecting to mention it. This is a double ended dildo story that just won't end. Get some rest Dina. We all need it. Go away you silly wench.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 9:46pm.
*slaps angel-i`s ass with a shirt from the Miley Cyrus Collection from Walmart*
Cause i m classy like that!
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Yeeeeeeeeee-HAW!
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
Submitted by A.cotw on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 10:04pm.
@Angel_I:
According to Mr. W,at the age of four,I carried a briefcase to kindergarten.
Born old.
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LOL! I know what you mean. I always wanted to be one of you people but, sadly, I was born a clown. I do always feel bad when you gotsta put up with me That's something, right?:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
Submitted by A.cotw on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 10:07pm.
Submitted by Lory on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 9:54pm.
ROTFLMAO!!! Did you offer her a drag?
Ever sneak a cigarette while hospitalized?
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LOL. I wish I could have said something like that to her. As a matter of fact, I was laughing while pointing at her ass with my ciggie. I wanted to get closer to tell her about how she should see a lung doctor or something but as I was getting closer she fled the scene. 5 minutes later I could still hear her coughing! :D
Well, I've sneaked cigarettes for my hospitalized boss... Does that count?
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Put Blohan and her idiot hag mother and Snooki on a rocket and shoot it off into orbit for 100,0000 years.
Um, Snooki's not driving into poles and hijacking cars.
BTW, I'm going to be a total Star Wars nerd and wonder if MK meant Ewok instead of Wookie. Chewy was a wookie and was huge.
Submitted by Lory on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 9:54pm.
ROTFLMAO!!! Did you offer her a drag?
Ever sneak a cigarette while hospitalized?
@Uncle Brain Fart:
Teenagers like that make me glad I'm sterile.Don't get me started about the bare legs with a suit or elegant dress trend.
Ambrose Bierce said that which we call common sense is not so common.
@Angel_I:
According to Mr. W,at the age of four,I carried a briefcase to kindergarten.
Born old.
@Kokomo:
Learn the Medusa Stare. Or learn to say fuck off in four languages. Both methods work.
I hate them whiny bitches that give you dirty looks when you are smoking... FAR FAR AWAY from anyone.. I specially hate them fake coughers! UGH!!! I was once smoking a ciggie in an open space. I was about 70 feet away from anyone when this old cow starts walking in my direction and immediately starts with a cough faker than Kim K's lashes. You could fit a couple of trucks between she and I yet the mere sight of me and my ciggie made her cough. When she started round two of her fake coughing, I dunno what happened but she must have fucked her throat with the all effort she made faking that shit that she started coughing in earnest. It was so bad that her face got all red and tears were pouring from her eyes. It was so damn funny! I laughed at her ass in her fucking face. Good times!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
*slaps angel-i`s ass with a shirt from the Miley Cyrus Collection from Walmart*
Cause i m classy like that!
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
Wow - it's a rough day when you can't even pick a fight on DListed;p
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
Oh nooooo....I can't with those fugly-ass boots. Big Foot's fapping away.
And why are they walking in a line? Is JWow the alpha female of the pack or something?
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"Regular people pay for birthday cakes, you idiotic pig with the self-entitlement of a billion Kanyes." -MK
Submitted by A.cotw on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 7:46pm.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 6:30pm.
By the way,do you think public shaming is civilized behavior? In Northern California people launch into tirades at anyone smoking a cigarette.
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I'm a non-smoker with a two pack a day husband and I swear we get the nastiest looks/and or comments out when (ONLY) he is smoking outside. By no means at all am I pro-smoking and I would yell at him if he was smoking near an elementary school, near old people, in anyone's face etc...but he smokes away from buildings, kids, people etc and people still feel the need to come and lecture US...even though I don't have a cigarette. And yes this in Northern California.
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Ummm...maybe 40 and 50 year old women din't wanna wear them old lady clothes to begin with.
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
@a.cotw
The concept of dressing appropriately for any reason is dying a slow,painful death. Have you noticed that some women would rather wear a teenager's wardrobe than one for someone 40 or 50? Or that "casual Friday" starts on Wednesday?
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A-fucking-men!!! I work in retail and for whatever reason my boss loves to hire these teenagers, who quit after about a week or two. In what job where you have any kind of costumer interaction, is it ok to show up at work with SWEATPANTS? with bleach-stains ?? The other young one showed up in straight hooker wardrobe. And then the boss has me explain the dress-code to them . Does common sense really need an explanation??
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
Hey bitch...you need to STFU and sit down. No one cares White Oprah....
How was the judge out of line in saying that? Lindsay is the poster girl for irresponsibility.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 8:12pm.
A.cotw, i dont know about California, I live in TX and around here the America`s weight-problem is alive and well. Might very well be that Cali is worse when it comes to pointing it out . Like i said, i have no problem with overweight people. *side-eyes chubby husband*. To me its a matter of dressing appropriately for your body-type.
My issue is women like her turning this "look" into something that is normal. Snookie is actually harmless compared to what you get to see in the South.
70 percent of Americans are overweight, 36 percent of those obese. And Snookie falls into the first category.
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Visitors and transplants tell me that although Californians have access to liquor 24/7,we tend to drink less than people in the North/South East.Fear of fat might be stronger than fear of a DUI, even though non-celebrities never get away with it.If Snooki lived on the West Coast,her look would be different,to say the least.Uncle,there is definitely a regional difference in attitudes towards weight.I swear obese people in Southern California do their grocery shopping at odd hours to avoid stares!
The concept of dressing appropriately for any reason is dying a slow,painful death. Have you noticed that some women would rather wear a teenager's wardrobe than one for someone 40 or 50? Or that "casual Friday" starts on Wednesday?
@ Sweetas I think you got it with the Popeye imagery. Their boots look like something Alice the Goon would wear. I remember those cartoons and they were especially creepy when the gang went to Goon Island. Wasn't Alice mad for Popeye?
It's impossible to tell who is the bigger fool in celebutardville today.
A.cotw, i dont know about California, I live in TX and around here the America`s weight-problem is alive and well. Might very well be that Cali is worse when it comes to pointing it out . Like i said, i have no problem with overweight people. *side-eyes chubby husband*. To me its a matter of dressing appropriately for your body-type.
My issue is women like her turning this "look" into something that is normal. Snookie is actually harmless compared to what you get to see in the South.
70 percent of Americans are overweight, 36 percent of those obese. And Snookie falls into the first category.
The sad part is that none of the "Shore"/"Hills"/"City" attention hoes would be caught dead pulling the stunts her "eternally innocent" brat has pulled over the last six years. When Snooki, Spencer and Brody Jenner look like models of sobriety in comparison, your kid has a *big* problem.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 6:30pm.
Let me ask you a question. In America you can be overweight or even obese and nobody will say SHIT to you, when you flaunt that crap in way too tight and short clothes. WHY IS THAT??
In Europe, trust me, if your ass looks like Snookie and you wear what she is wearing, you are getting CLOWNED TO DEATH. You would be shamed into wearing weight-appropriate clothing.
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By the way,do you think public shaming is civilized behavior? In Northern California people launch into tirades at anyone smoking a cigarette.
Submitted by Juniperjump on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 6:22pm.
Tightens the sagging neck muscles.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 6:30pm.
Okay,understand that I'm not "yelling" at you for your opinions about Snooki's weight,or about anyone else's weight. However, I know that Americans DO criticize the slightly overweight,the very overweight,and the dangerously overweight without provocation,even if the overweight person is a complete stranger. CONSTANTLY. If Sucky is reading this,no,I'm not speaking only about myself. I have lived in Europe...and in the USA,I have only lived in California. There is a high level of vanity at both ends of the state.This might explain why I have heard children and adults of varied ages,ethnicities,gender and sexual preferences harassed about weight.
I think that Snooki's actually lost weight since when they filmed in Miami... and I think it's a travesty that she was compared to Lindsay. Snooki has more class in her poof than Lindsay could ever hope to have.
Why so mean to Dina? Sure, she has her faults, maybe Lindsay shouldn't have been left to raise herself in Hollywood since the age of ten, maybe the frequent hospitals stays for exhaustion should of tipped her off. But she was still having Mike's babies and the money was great. Besides, Lindsay is now a great actress. Nobody blames Laura Bush for the twins' drinking binges. And Ali's blossoming into a young beauty.
WO's mouth always looks to me like it would smell bad
Damn shame that I think Snooki is a step above Hohan's antics!
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Zambonie, it's called being 4'11". her body had no choice but to grow wide.
they dress like street walkers
@ Uncle: If she did indeed have anorexia, sometimes thyroid conditions can be 'unmasked'. However, I agree with your thought on alchohol consumption being the culprit of her weight gain. Just because she's young doesn't mean she should be wearing the clothes she does. She looks like hell.
Let me ask you a question. In America you can be overweight or even obese and nobody will say SHIT to you, when you flaunt that crap in way too tight and short clothes. WHY IS THAT??
In Europe, trust me, if your ass looks like Snookie and you wear what she is wearing, you are getting CLOWNED TO DEATH. You would be shamed into wearing weight-appropriate clothing.
When did this unhealthy bodyweight become some kinda standard?
And before the fat-police rolls up on me, i m not hating on her weight, (although her liquor consumption is probably the culprit and not some kinda thyroid-problem), but why is she wearing this short crap all the time???
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I fixed dinner, i bottom. I called it!!
1. Why is White Oprah always throwing her head back like that?
2. Do they know they are orange?
That Snooked-up mess looks like a pot-bellied stove.
Submitted by Zambonie on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 5:41pm.
I've read that Snookies' put on 60 lbs since high school.
I had to Google it..and you're so right, holy crap: http://static.poponthepop.com/images/gallery/snooki-bikini-picture.jpg
Submitted by eat.pray.vomit on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 4:52pm.
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Genuine LOL.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
OMG it's the goons from Popeye cartoons! A look this good is just screaming to be doubled up on.
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRzbXaqnC5hwrgS8Liqw18t78ApuW5OL...
Ugh, seeing that picture just refuels my hatred for WO. I have occasional sympathy for Hohan (or used to back in the day at least) because I do believe that kids' environments growing up do effect how they turn out, and when Dina and Michael lived under the same roof it was undoubtedly a nonstop, epic, MAN DOWN CODE 10 Cirque de Soleil of fuckery.
Lindsay's still a dumb, selfish little cunt, but she STILL has more of an excuse than WO.
On topic, judge fail because Snooki was probably delighted with the comparison.