Willow Smith Got A Record Deal
At the ripe age of 9, Willow Smith can pat herself on the back for knowing how to wear the hell out of a pair of Converse leggings. And now she can also pat the last name on her birth certificate for helping her land a record deal with Jay-Z! And by land a record deal, I mean Will Smith put in a call.
Jay-Z released a statement saying that his Roc Nation Entertainment has signed the pop singer behind the hair whippin' song that has forced thousands of bitches to reach for a neck brace. And you know Willow Smith is going to put out a line of neck braces made out of giant bedazzled neon snap bracelets with shoelace fringe around it. Here's the statement from Jay-Z:
“It’s rare to find an artist with such innate talent and creativity at such a young age. Willow is about to embark on an incredible journey and we look forward to joining her as she grows in all aspects of her career.”
Willow Smith is only 9 years old and people are already talking about how she's going to knock Justin Bieber off the potty training throne and become the next pop superstar toddler sensation. At this point, Fisher Price is probably working on an auto-tune microphone for babies so that parents can turn their kids' first words into a dance song.
But I know what's really going on here. This is simply Jada Pinkett's way of trying to make the world forget about the Smith's family last assault on the music industry. Two horrifying words: WICKED WISDOM! I see you, Jada. No amount of hair whipping is going to knock off the open sore on my brain left by Wicked Wisdom!
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There is not a better example out there of why the entertainment industry needs to be euthanized than this bullshit. From Disney pimping underage starlets in hooker dresses and fuck-me shoes at 15. Then proceeding to wring every dollar imaginable by making them into every facet of entertainment; actresses/singers/spokeswhores/product tie-in sluts.
To Bieber with his maballshaventdroppedyet voice and his lesbian hair, and his pathetic little peepee hardon for kim (ifIonlyhadabrain) Kardashian to this shit.
Fuck'em all! Right where they breathe
Wicked Wisdom was blasted awful.
As if Otep wasn't annoying enough, she had an imitator.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
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I'm so glad she is the one who is finishing what her father started, stupid nonsense music, she is taking all of the weight of her stupid father had.
is going to be an epic fail , i cannot wait for her and justin (lesbian)bieber do a duet.
I'll be laughing my ass off.
this girl cannot be anymore ugly but I blame her parents.
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I always think this kids a boy--its the weird hair and clothes that don't have any gender 'tells'.
Its just crass product manufactured for pre-pubsecents. I'm pegging this little diva as high maintenance and all the usual child star turmoil later in life.
Hating on children: not my thing, but try as I might, I can't with these Smith kids.
Can't say anything nice, so...
Best to say (hope for too) is: hopefully good taste will prevail and commercial flop will halt any positive developments in this situation.
Oh! whodatt said Stevie Wonder!!!!!
yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Hail NO!" MK as god
Lil' Urkel is ROCKING the sunglasses.
Jayz can suck my dick for even suggesting such fuckery!
"Hail NO!" MK as god
Kind of makes me wish for the days of *real* child soul singers like Stevie Wonder, Shanice Wilson and Tracie Wilson. They had to *sing* for their suppers.
Obnoxiousness squared and then multiplied by ten.
I can't stand the SMUG face on these assholes. There is a large public that likes The Smiths...ughhhhhhhhh shame on you...its the same people who anticipate the Transformers movies and made the Pussy Cat Dolls popular.
Um, anyone remember what Chris Robinson said the other day? Hmmmm?
Tell ya what, if you're under 30 yrs. old get out to the bars and niteclubs that feature local musicians just messing around. At least you'll have an idea of what old style music was like.
Jaden got his mother's lack of height and Willow got her dad's goofy face
She is no Alison HInds! ahahaha! God again..like I said before...press the button!
Coma Caca!
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What fucking talent?
She rides to the studio in a limo, they feed her the lyrics, she screeches, and then they autotune the shit out of it.
I'm over this pathetic, tired music industry where record deals are being bought.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 5:34pm.
Just once in my lifetime, I'd love to see a celebrity parent steer their kid towards academics and science and literature and not the limelight. Just once.
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I think I read somewhere that Michael J. Fox's son is not at all interested in any kind of performing and that Michael J. Fox is fine with that. That warmed my heart, to hear that.
Just once in my lifetime, I'd love to see a celebrity parent steer their kid towards academics and science and literature and not the limelight. Just once.
this fuckin brat needs to go way. I've never wanted to beat a child more.
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And by 30 days in jail, Judge Fox really means that she'll just have to sit in a private room at Lynwood until she rolls doubles....MK
Well shoot me in the face and call it a night.
If this 9 year old...9...has a record contract then I think we should all collect our things and bow our quietly because clearly we're done. The world can't handle anymore disgusting stupidity.
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped"
- Elbert Hubbard
Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 1:52pm.
I don't blame the music industry per se for this fuckery...their business sense is ruled by public taste...if they see that millions of morons like this crap enough to make it a hit, they will be allover it trying to capitalize on it and make big bucks. If people nowadays had better music taste, half of today's "hit makers" would not even have a career beyond performing on subway platforms.
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See:
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 1:43pm.
ubmitted by angel_i on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 1:09pm.
You're completely right. Reminds me of a pretty radical law that may pass here in Brazil, one that regulates ads for kids, especially food ads. Cutesy cartoons, toys that come with crappy foods, as well as tv ads directed toward children will be banned. Now that's a good idea and all, but it also makes me wonder where the fuck are the parents when a toddler puts all this crappy food in the shopping cart. Since parents can't say "HELL NO" to their kids, a law like this makes me wonder if they are, once again, transferring their own responsibilities to the government.
And that's a whole generation raised by the tv, brainwashed by ads and without a single parent at sight to give them structure, affection or discipline.
*steps down the soapbox*
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*steps up*
Those are parents raised on those SAME commercials. I watch moms feed their kids crap every day that they actually THINK is healthy. And sometimes I don't even have the heart.... I can't watch one more face fall as they realize they've been duped and that they'll have to re-condition themselves entirely if they really want to get what they're after (health). It's not that they won't make the choice, it's more that they don't know they have one. And many times it's cuz they don't wanna be the one to rock the boat.
Like Ani says:
I do it cuz it's the least I can do
I do it cuz I learned it from you
I do it just becuz I want to ....
I want to, I want tooooo.....
(and you can't legally stop me becuz the only thing that matters is laws and not values and no one ever taught me to do the right thing becuz it makes life full of greatness, only to do it to gain reward or avoid punishment and you can't punish me for buying, buying always brings reward, and becuz instant gratification is a lot more noticeable than long term effects I find I have just run with it and this is where I ended up which is really not so bad, I mean, at least it's now within my comfort zone which is all I'm really looking for.....)
I have to fight against the media each day in the raising of my daughter. They're not helping me. They're doing their level best to cram themselves down her throat but nothing they do is in her best interests. Not everyone can be as naggy with themselves and others 24/7 as I can be and I don't think they should have to be. That's the whole purpose of having leaders to begin with. Most people just want something to follow.
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
Can't blame the Smiths for getting a record deal now, make that money before they get outed(only half serious).
Realistically, no 9 year old needs a record contract, Charlotte Church was extremely talented at a young age,and I think she was 14, and if they are going to have all of these X Factor, America's Got Talent, American Idol shows, etc, somebody needs to win from that, because they have showed talent, and not choked in front of a live audience.
Mariah Carey will want a pair of those pants as soon as she sees this picture.
So it's official. You don't have to have talent to get a record contract. You just need to know the right people or have a famous mom and/or dad.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
If she were my kid, and I had the fame and money, I would let her do a little song to pass along to her friends on Facebook. When her birthday came around I would let her do a cute little, semi-pro video with her birthday party invitees that they would all receive a copy of, that's it. Public recordings and record deals would not happen, fucking ever.
What the fuck kind of bullshit is this? How does a talentless 9 year old get a record contract...oh I forgot, they're Scientologists. Next thing you know Suri will want one to.
WRONG!!!
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she's not me
Yeah right, Payola anyone??? She needs a few years to get the "but Jayden got to do a movie" out of her. Just imagine how great she'll be after a quasi-normal childhood and 10 to 15 years of practice.
Fuck you world for this fuckery! I am so sick of the Smiths who think they are god's gift to humanity.
“It’s rare to find an artist with such innate talent and creativity at such a young age. Willow is about to embark on an incredible journey and we look forward to joining her as she grows in all aspects of her career.”
Wonder how much the parents paid him to say that.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Submitted by .Child. on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 2:50pm.
I suspect that when nobody takes her seriously, she'll try the sexkitten thing. She'll be playing at being Shitney or Beyonce by age 11.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I won't listen to this shit-ever.
I had to suffer through her father and live through all the mediocre crap he put out just to claw his way to the top so Im done!
GREAT, just another reason to fucking hate this entire family. I wish someone would punch Jada right in the balls, kick Will in the ovaries and forget the kids in the car on a hot day.
Regardless of her parents and their parenting and the fact that um duh it helps to have famous parents when you are 9 and decide you want to make music, I'm don't hate her song. It's fun and catchy and despite the oddity of some of the lyrics about haters and swag, none of it is really age inappropriate. My only problem with it is that it's way over produced, she has a decent voice and could have held the song without all the extensive bells and whistles.
I think this song will do well, I don't know if they will be able to recreate something this catchy and not creepy for a child to sing but I don't think there is any harm in seeing what they've got. At least she's not singing or acting with Disney. I'm getting sick of every child star being tied to the House of Mouse.
It just keeps getting more fucked up every day. More celeb spawn. I feel sorry for the really talented out there, they don't stand a chance.
Are you fucking kidding me??
In that case, my 8 month old is ready for her close up! She can baby talk along with the beat and yes, she wears leggings. Let's fucking do this!!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by BIG BOOTIE CUTIE on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 2:25pm.
1) No she's not adorable. She's not remotely cute.
2) Getting breaks is one thing. Having a record deal handed to you at 9 is ridiculous.
3) If they are handing their children careers then they are pushing them. Lots of kids have dreams and most parents will say, "Maybe when you grow up," not, "Oh you want to be famous? I'll make a few calls".
Trust me, lots of the people on that list of nepotism piss me off. But this post is about Williow.
she's gonna be so disappointed when can't pull off the next stage in pop tardness, the "sex pot stage". i just don't see it in her cards.
Everyone knows (or should know) that Hollywood is nepotism central, so it should come as no surprise that she has a contract.
And it should come as no surprise when she writes a tell-all about her parents sham marriage.
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i keep thinking Jada is Will's mom. he seems like such an overgrown goof-ball teenager and she seems so old and serious.
Submitted by BIG BOOTIE CUTIE on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 2:25pm.
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I for one don't think Willow is singled out here. Celebrity nepotism has given us THE GODFATHER PART III, Nick Cage, St. Angie, MILEY FUCKING CYRUS, Paris Hilton, Rumor Willis, and Brooke Hogan, among other travesties. Every once in a while you get a Michael Douglas or a Kieffer Sutherland, but more often than not, celebrity spawn primarily serve the purpose of irritating the shit out of most of the world.
Other celebrity children such as Suri Cruise are just waiting to unleash themselves on a helpless public.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
I don't give a rat's ass one way or another about this, I guess it's better for the Smith kids to be doing something semi-productive, they could end up like Paris Hilton or Montana Fishburne. I do want to lodge a complaint-I ended up listening to this ear fuckery the other day, and I caught myself singing the chorus several times since. This is uncalled for.I'm way too old to be whipping my hairrrr.
Submitted by BIG BOOTIE CUTIE on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 2:25pm.
Because she's smug, talentless, and 9 years old. Oh, and her music sucks balls; it sounds exactly like the crap a 9 year old would write and sing, but she's getting a record deal anyway.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
UGH - I can't.
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
This disgusts me. I know so many truly talented people who work their asses off just to scrape by making music, and this trick wins the goddamned lottery. I hope her music career turns out like Paris Hilton's.
We're hating because A) the music sucks, B) she's a baby and doesn't need to be doing this now.
They should be ashamed of themselves, period.
Be sure to include in the album credits -
A big thanks to the Nation of Islam, the muderous cult their family belongs to!
Submitted by BIG BOOTIE CUTIE on Thu, 09/09/2010 - 2:25pm.
Why not hate Alec Baldwin for paving the way for this brothers: Stephen, William and Daniel? Donald Sutherland for Keiffer Sutherland; Francis Ford Coppola for Sofia Coppola, and he is Nicholas' Cage uncle. Rosanna Arquette for Patricia, Alexis and David; Stephen Spielberg and Jessica Capshaw for Jesica Capshaw; Jon Voight for Angelina Jolie; Caleb Deschannel for Zoe Deschannel; Patty Duke for Sean Astin; Michael Douglas is Kirk's son; Lloyd Bridges for Beau and Jeff Bridges; Tony Curtis & Janet Leigh for Jaime Lee Curtis; Judy garland & Vincent Minelli for Liza Minelli; Ingrid Bergman and Roberto Rossellini for Isabella Rossellini...Yeah, even Henry Fonda had his kids in the biz, Peter and Jane Fonda.. And the granddaughter, Bridgett Fonda.. SO WHY THE WHINING ABOUT WILLOW????????????
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Give us a post, we whine about those assholes, too.