Monday, September 13th 2010

Cher Shows Bitches How It's Done

The dildo in the back of your office desk drawer (I know how you do) is more organic than Cher's face and she needs the help of a puppeteer to move her mouth, but at 64 she still makes young whores run back to their high chairs to sit the hell down!

At last night's VMAs, Cher proved that you don't need to wear dresses made of tires, rain tarps and the back stock of a carniceria to get all spotlights on you. And you really don't need 20 men to help your ridiculous ass get onto the stage. All you need is some mesh, a lot of chunky sequins and a Troy Polamalu wig made of silk yarn.

Cher tucked all her parts into her old "Turn Back Time" ensemble to present Video of the Year last night. Of course it went to Lady Caca, because that bitch won everything. And every time she gave one of her "love yourself" speeches, I felt like I was sitting in the back row at one of Tony Robbins' self-help conferences.

Posted by: Michael K


well, Cher tucked all her parts into her old "Turn Back Time" ensemble to present Video of the Year last night. Of course it went to Lady Caca, because that bitch won everything. And every time she gave one of her "love yourself" speeches, I felt like I was sitting in the back row at one of Tony Robbins' self-help conferences.
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justincase's picture

This CaCa shit has to be a joke or a cry for help or a sign that entertainment as we have known it is over. Right?

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 11:56pm.
Good morning, Virgin-Whore. Your signature lies. A person with a great sense of humor is never lonely.

LASux's picture

Was Gaga's costume made of Real Sirloin or faux & what exactly was she trying to say?

RememberNovember's picture

Was Gaga wearing real meat?

Did Cher wear the same outfit from 1988...from her "Turn Back Time" video? or is this a replica?

How does Cher get that off her if she has to take a dump...or worse what if she has explosive diarrhea and needs to rip that thing off...fast!?

PinkStripes's picture

Cher is still wondering whatever in the good God's name happened to music...and talent...and originality...and why she's holding a piece of rib roast in her hand.

ProfessorVP's picture

I never knew fishnet came in orthopedic.

Khensu Hetep's picture

The VMA's are basically just a parade of self-masturbation and self-indulgence.

Obviously CaCa's running out of ideas, since she sported this beef ensemble, what? A week ago? Give me a break.

Creepy, fat, lonely, and bitter since 2008.

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Some day they'll both look back at these pictures and say...WTF were WE thinking!!

Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 1:14pm.
She looks like the ass end of that human mule on a GOOD day.

kokoskitten's picture

Seeing this Cher gives me an urge to watch MASK...
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...

I don't get this scene. Nothing makes sense. Crazy oozes at award shows now. Red queen hypothesis right here.

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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan

starpoot's picture

yeah I thought she was kinda rude to Cher. that's what's wrong with today's batch of pop stars. they have zero respect for the icons.

Bossy's picture

Gees, people really don't know when a side of them is past the expiration date. See through outfits are no longer for you Cher.

This sketch from the Sonny & Cher comedy hour used to make me giggle my 7 year old head off. Cher was really hot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMbTTn0fL9U

red dress on a piano was michell pfeiffer in fabulous baker boys.

or, i think, julia roberts in pretty woman.

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The McCanns Did It

Ironically, while Florence Welch didn't have to stoop to wearing meat to get attention, her performance was the meat of last night's awards. True talent will always win out in the end.

LAMO!!! She's rocking a Troy P wig.Cher is such a hot slut. Does anyone else remember her in a red dress on top a piano?

Lindalou's picture

Am I the only one that thinks Lady Caca dresses like that because she knows shes got a bangin bod but a bagger face?

scisan60's picture

I thought it was Gene Simmons in full KISS makeup.

WWJDFAKB's picture

I like the medieval dress, the meat one looks like it would smell. I couldn't help but laugh my ass off when she broke into song during her last acceptance speech.

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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

Infamous's picture

ihearthaters> hahahaha Me too!

And I take back what I said about her body. On closer examination, wtf is up w. her belly button!? It's practically under her boobs!

iHeartHaters's picture

Everytime I see Cher I can't get Jack McFarland outta my head...."If I could turn back tiiiioooooome!"

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP3Q1nOzgR0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

Mopa> Agreed. I too enjoyed the stage and the lighting a hell of a lot more than the actual show.
As for these two, meh, they both look ridiculous. Cher looked stupid and tacky in that outfit 20 years ago and still looks stupid and tacky.
She has a bangin body, but her face is ridiculously stiff. Just stop w the plastic surgery and learn to grow old gracefully. Ick.
I have nothing against Gaga's dress, but then again, I have nothing against her, in general. It's not real meat, btw. That would be pretty much impossible.

iHeartHaters's picture

Submitted by Meeshie on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 2:24pm.

Actually I'm pretty sure Ellie Mae is still alive but that still cracked my ass UP!!

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP3Q1nOzgR0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

angel_i's picture

Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 1:50pm.

Not sure why Cher had to recycle one of her old looks but despite this she still looks way better and more original than Lady Diarreah.
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LOL! You guys take shit to a whole new level sometimes. HOW - tell me how it is possible for Cher's tacky get-up to be MORE ORIGINAL than Gaga's tacky get-up!? Did we have a meat wearing era that no one told me about?

♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

madam ex's picture

Cher's bellybutton is almost on her adams apple.
And why, oh why? GAGA did you pull the meat curtains out again, no, its was EPIC FAIL the first time, not again, no, no, no, making me regret buying that fuckin concert ticket big time.

Whamo's picture

Submitted by eat.pray.vomit on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 1:41pm.
ubmitted by Whamo on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 12:53pm.
If Gaga or any of these “conscientious thinkers” were truly courageous and wanted to make a brow raising political or religious statement they should speak out against the fanatics in the Muslin Faith.

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I love unbleached muslin. It's so pure!

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LOL Sorry guy's I did'nt mean to all preachy and shit, when it come down to it I really could care less. It was more of an observation than anything.

Peace!

Mopa's picture

The only exciting or interesting part of the show last night was the staging. That stage and lighting was just spectacular. Too bad they couldn't have had more talented people on it. I love Eminem though.

Hoegarten's picture

I really LOVED the set. Too bad everything about the show sucked. Can you imagine it they actually had more talented and creative people perform? Or at least a pop act like Justin Timberlake or a Ciara, or a Britney if she ever miraculously learned to dance again? And why were there NO big stars there? No Beyonce, no Shakira, No Fergie, No Gwen Stefani no Anna Paquin in a cool Alexander Mcqueen dress. Wah.

Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"

Meeshie's picture

Am I the only one who thinks Cher looks ridiculous? She reminds me of the woman who played Ellie Mae Clampett. That old bitch wore her Ellie Mae wig until the day she died.

Matador's picture

What's that grotesque old drag queen doing there?

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Insert Porn Music

chaka1's picture

Bow 111down Bitches. Cher is the real deal...

Woo HA! Whooooooaaaah!

nono's picture

eat.pray.vomit's picture
Submitted by eat.pray.vomit on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 1:41pm.

Are you kidding me? Thanks to Muslins, we don't have to see the Kardashians mustaches and sideburns when they are out about town! Thank you Muslins!

SpiceDong's picture

Not sure why Cher had to recycle one of her old looks but despite this she still looks way better and more original than Lady Diarreah.

That meat essemble cannot be real...that has to be plastic beef. Disgusting either way and certainly not edgy.

Why is MTV still giving awards for videos? They don't play videos anymore and I even read that they are changing their name and logo to eliminate the Music part in Music Television. Glad I don't waste time watching these type of award shows. It's better to get all the dirt and the Clift Notes version the next day.

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moomarse's picture

Submitted by eat.pray.vomit on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 12:30pm.
I'm surprised there weren't flies and magots coming off of Gaga's outfit. It would be so awesome if a cow killed Gaga and then wore her.

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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008

moomarse's picture

You just know Cher was laughing her fucking ass off at Caca in that surloin frock from hell!!!!

This is how it's done you dumb cunt!

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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008

eat.pray.vomit's picture

ubmitted by Whamo on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 12:53pm.
If Gaga or any of these “conscientious thinkers” were truly courageous and wanted to make a brow raising political or religious statement they should speak out against the fanatics in the Muslin Faith.

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I love unbleached muslin. It's so pure!

zomay's picture

I have no real opinion of GAGA. First off, to me, she is just another Aries chick looking for attention in extreme ways. I'm an Aries so please don't jump on that statement. A meat dress? Come on that is just another ploy to get on the blogs. And it worked.

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Nothing says "real love" like matching mug shots. -Michael Kay

Nicole's picture

Okay, I like Gaga, but she looks goddamn ridiculous and the meat dress isn't edgy it's just fucking disgusting.

http://www.bringmitricehome.org/

Whamo's picture

Not that I was offended as I’m a lapsed Catholic at best, but It seems to me that Christianity in general can be and spoken out against by performers such Lady Goo Ball in order to be “controversial” without and real reprisal. Attacking Christianity is used to shake people up, get the song or video noticed and thus increasing sales all the while people applaud her, call her courageous and give her awards for what are considered blasphemous images by some. Madonna did this years ago as did Sinead O’Conner. So once again Gaga jumps on someone else’s previous work, philosophy and styling and calls it “original”. If Gaga or any of these “conscientious thinkers” were truly courageous and wanted to make a brow raising political or religious statement they should speak out against the fanatics in the Muslin Faith. None of the Gaga’s of the world have any real guts or courage to address this in a song or video because they know the consequences would be a death sentence by some nutbar fanatic. You want to be REALLY controversial, then make a “Alejandro” style of video using Muslim imagery and we’ll see how that works out for ya! I’d call THAT courageous that’s for sure.

M.E.'s picture

Don't most people have some stretch marks on their ass? It's usually from quick growth spurt in early teens and for women, PREGNANCY! Cuz, most of the time you get blown out in the ass too.

Did any of you peeps catch the morning chat shows today? Totally repulsive how they were all fawning over Gaga (She is such an artist, per M. Viera's words)...

Seriously, last night was just a freaking zoo... nothing interesting, no one with real talent (except for my boy Eminem. Yes, I said it)...and a horrible, horrible host. Chelsea Handler is just one nasty woman, both in words and looks. I'd rather look/listen to Russell Brand ten times over rather than have to put up with her. Yuck.

eat.pray.vomit's picture

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 10:04am.

I like that Cher makes this xerox look dinky when they are side by side.
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Yea. That's weryd.

eat.pray.vomit's picture

Haha. Stretch marks on her ass in the 3rd to last thumbnail.

eat.pray.vomit's picture

Submitted by Niko on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 12:35pm.

Then again I suppose you have to wear "meat" to draw attention away from your Peaches Geldof mug.
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Gaga could be Marilyn Manson's fraternal twin.

eat.pray.vomit's picture

Cher is easily 25lbs heavier here. Her hair is so giant to draw attention from her blowfish face. Embarrassing and not hot.