Way To Waste A Perfectly Good Burrito

The mansluts of Motley Crue were way ahead of their time. Long before the "Smell Yo Dick" method came along, Motley Crue went to great lengths to keep the skank cloud on their peens from wafting into their girlfriend's noses. Vince Neil tells Hustler (via Contact Music) that they would hide the rank scent of herp pus, wart scabs, snatch jelly and dried man chowder by rubbing egg burritos all over their crotches. Who ordered the egg and spoiled chorizo burrito? Just in time for breakfast! Bon appebarf!

Vince tells Hustler, "We were always fucking other chicks at the studio and backstage... We would take Tommy Lee's van to a restaurant called Noggles to buy these egg burritos and then rub them on our crotches to cover the smell of the girls we had just fucked. So our dicks smelled of eggs... We would tell our girlfriends, 'Oh, we dropped the burritos in our laps.' The girlfriends thought we were a bunch of clumsy slobs. We never thought about going into the restroom and just washing our dicks."

Why stick your dick under the faucet in the bathroom at Noggles when you can fuck a tortilla vagina filled with scrambled eggs! That's more fun! Stupid fucks! Unless Vince Neil was dating Jessica Simpson's brain twin, there's no way that she bought his shit story every time. I mean, why wasn't he wearing pants while eating a burrito? Why was there also an underline scent of rotten kipper boiling under the sun in a plastic tub full of clam juice?

Besides, I'm sure Vince's natural sex scent smells like scrambled eggs, hot sauce and sausage, so he wasted a delicious breakfast burrito. That's the saddest part.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Hellbat83 on Sat, 09/18/2010 - 5:49pm.

mmmmmmmmm Naugles had awesome burritos

Submitted by halojones on Wed, 09/15/2010 - 10:05pm.

You can tell he's one of those assholes who loves reliving the "good days" --too bad those good days include killing people while drunk driving. What a fucker he is, reminiscing, he has no shame.

Submitted by icallbs on Wed, 09/15/2010 - 9:48am.

Your tags say it all, MK. I couldn't agree with you more.

Condoms, people.

Submitted by Kelli B on Wed, 09/15/2010 - 5:19am.

Disgusting fucked up pigs... I'm sure their family members are so proud.

Mmmmm burrito with a side of hep c thanks

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Submitted by nocgirl on Wed, 09/15/2010 - 12:14am.

Vince Neil is one lucky bastard if he did not catch AIDS. Drummer from Ratt was not so lucky and he probably was not as promiscuous as the Motley Crue scumbags. Vince Neil is a disgusting pig and I hope any woman that ever had sex with him has had a full STD workup. I do feel bad that he lost his daughter to cancer, but doesn't change the fact he is a nasty, extremely promiscuous sex addicted pig. Gross.

Submitted by not shocked on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 11:25pm.

Naugles became Del Taco, it was my favorite too drunk and stoned to go home better eat something food when we were in high school

Submitted by kari on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:03pm.

In all reality what woman would date a rockstar and think he's monogamous. That woman would be as dumb as the women who think their profession athlete husbands are monogamous. There are groupies everywhere...Motley Crue isn't giving away any major secret (but as I said they would have had to have used something to protect themselves from becoming a daddy. I was in love with plenty of long haired guys in 80's bands. I never met any of them and if I had I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot vagina.ALl of these guys were bragging about doing groupies back then. Lets not forget the lead singer from Creed and Kid Rock. That's just a small example of these guys. It still goes on today I'm sure.

Submitted by kari on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 9:51pm.

Vince Neil has to be lying. If this were really the case that they smelled of the women they were with, then they didn't use any sort of contraception. You meant to tell me that they never got any one of them pregnant?! Even the pull out method....with all of their drugs and rock and roll I'm sure if they used that form of BC they still have plenty of "ooops". Come on, people would be coming out of the woodwork to claim one of them fathered their cash cow, I mean child. Because he's kind of a bloated has been now, he needs to try to act like he has something left. It sure isn't his looks but maybe his wrinkly burrito smellin' peen.

Submitted by dubious1 on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 7:53pm.

Are you F'in kidding me? What absolutely putrid scum.

Any girl who banged these pigs and got an STD should lawyer up and see about suing these scum. I'm sure the statute of limitations is up, but just reading about this now could stir up some serious trauma. If it were me, I know I'd be barfing right now........

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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie

Submitted by Jem on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 6:11pm.

They mention this in their book as well...

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 5:31pm.

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:06am.
I'm pretty sure this story is bullshit or maybe happened ONCE or something...but getting beyond that, what kind of a woman would service a dick that smelled of rotten pussy juices and eggy breakfast burritos? I'm gagging on my coffee just thinking about it, let ALONE trying to S that D.
______________________________
I'm not buying it either - stopping, buying and rubbing down with a breakfast burrito seems like too much trouble for these losers to go through. I seriously doubt they cared what their "girlfriends" thought.
_______________________________
I smell bananas! Am I back? what's in my ass?
Chirio 8/8/10

Submitted by Whinemaker on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 5:08pm.

And one more thing ... I lived down the street from him in Redondo Beach when he crashed his Pantera and killed Hanoi Rocks drummer Nicholas *Razzle* Dingley. Again I say ..."douchebag".

And yes, if you do the math, that makes me old ... lol

Submitted by Whinemaker on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 5:00pm.

Pure class, that one.

Oh, and it's Naugles. Not Noggles. Idiot.

Submitted by Sayonara on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 3:44pm.

I liked Starscream, too!

Anyway these guys are dirty and stinky. They are trying to ruin the reputation of the egg burrito.

"You thought I was a doughnut and tried to glaze me"

Submitted by salacious on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 2:48pm.

Submitted by kaisurf on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 11:44am.

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Yeah, it's like all of Starscream's (the adorably douchebag Transformer) fangirls. Something about the domineering and bad-boy personality combined with secretly just wanting to be cuddled.
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Ahahahahaha. I thought nobody else liked Transformers here. But he wasn't as much douchey as he was, um, kinda gay.

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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.

Submitted by Mawy on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 2:45pm.

I used to waitress the day shift at a strip club (cause I'm klassy like dat lol) and as all the strippers came on stage they would play that stupid Motley Crue song 'Girls, Girls, Girls.' I guess to cater to all the fat douchebag perves who came to the place. I HATE that song.
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Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.

Submitted by salacious on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 2:44pm.

Okay so this is officially the most disgusting story ever posted on Dlisted. I smelled rotten ground beef yesterday and it was not nearly as revolting.

I seriously hope nobody else in here wants to share a sex story involving him.

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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 2:35pm.

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 9:09am.
shouldn't this guy be in the clink for killing the guy in "Hanoi Rocks"?
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I've read "The Dirt" way too much but he got a ridiculously short sentence (30 days I think ??) and he got special priviliges in jail like banging chicks, booze, etc
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...

Submitted by babybunny on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 2:22pm.

damn Vince Neal is gross...to the ninth degree..and even back in the day I thought he was gross...there is no excuse to be that promiscuous...all the is advertising is that he is a std ridden alcoholic ass has been who loves plastic looking freaky women(?) that resemble trannies...he is vomit inducing.

Submitted by justincase on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 2:10pm.

Thank you for explaining why I hate these useless slobs as well as their heavy metal pop. I was looking forward to having an omelet for dinner and now not so much.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 1:49pm.

I had a HUGE Motley Crue obsession right around Dr. Feelgood times (1989 ?)... I was a hormonal 12 or 13 year old but I look at them now through adult eyes and shake my head and repeat "what was I thinking?".

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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...

Submitted by Die gelangweilt... on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 1:48pm.

and none of them has aids... very lucky motherfuckers

How do you know that? It's not like anyone of those freaks would come out and say: Um...btw, I'm HIV positive.
Also, didn't Pamela catch Hepatitis from Tommy?

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬

Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!

Submitted by lea8199 on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 1:14pm.

omg what a nasty ass pig..
but their stories are entertaining....

and none of them has aids... very lucky motherfuckers

Submitted by 4lice4nn on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 1:03pm.

Scumbaaaaaaaaaags.

Submitted by shandi on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 1:00pm.

While this disgusts me, it does not surprise me. I've read enough of their books to know that they were opposed to showering back in their 80s rockstar days. Gross.

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Submitted by moomarse on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 12:56pm.

I wonder how many times their girlfriends fucked around behind their back while they were humping on egg burritos.....

Stupid 70-80's rockers thought they were GOD no matter how god-fuckin-ugly they were (and are!).

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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008

Submitted by moriah on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 12:55pm.

This fat piece of shit. Vincent Chavez needs to shut the fuck up.

BTW, it's NAUGELS not Noggles. Good lord.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naugles

Submitted by cprincess on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 12:15pm.

Ugh-I prefer my rock stars with a brain please-what a bunch of dickheads-Vince Neil thinks hes such a bad ass meantime this is the most contrived bull shit.....

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by Whatever on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 12:11pm.

What a bunch of dumb fucks.

Submitted by barzzini on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 11:38am.

barzzini
Way to ruin my childhood fast food place here in SoCal. ITs spelled Naugles the way.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 11:28am.

I'm so glad I didn't have a breakfast burrito this morning. Blech!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 11:19am.

It must be a real letdown for a gal to have sex with a rock star within 10 minutes of first meeting him, only to find out later he is not monogamous.

I guess the solution of taking a shower wasn't on the menu for some reason. Helps prevent getting clap from those tacos.

Submitted by Kerfuffles on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 11:14am.

Submitted by kaisurf on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 11:44am.

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:02am.
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 9:56am.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 9:55am

ZACTLY...but I would fuck Tommy...
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you are what is wrong with this world!... that guy's a douchebag!... and he's got the hep!!

... damn women and their love of douchebags!

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Yeah, it's like all of Starscream's (the adorably douchebag Transformer) fangirls. Something about the domineering and bad-boy personality combined with secretly just wanting to be cuddled.

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Or Twilight, for that matter. Feeding young and impressionable girls the idea that when a guy treats you like shit he's probably in too much wuv with you.

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 11:00am.

Submitted by TheStraightMan on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:22am.

Funny...I thought Noggles was : http://xrl.in/6ccn

nut + goggles = noggles it is similar to "teabagging" someone. more specifically, it is the act of dropping your scrotum onto someone's eyes, resting a testicle in the recess of each eye socket. thus creating the effect of wearing "nut goggles" or "noggles".

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LOL! I can't believe phrases like this leave the bedroom...or the kitchen or whatever. At any rate - ya learn sumthin' new everyday!

♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Submitted by julesinSD on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:58am.

Whore Master.

While the paid whores were guzzling down his man chowder, they also sucked his soul out - let's see where he's at when he's old - IF he makes it - a broken down diseased substance abuser with no family who spent his life chasing holes, big Fucking deal.

Submitted by julesinSD on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:57am.

Whore Master.

While the paid whores were guzzling down his man chowder, they also sucked is soul out - let's see where he's at when he's old - IF he makes it - a broken down diseased substance abuser with no family who spent his life chasing holes, big Fucking deal.

Submitted by Dolly_D on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:53am.

I tried to read "The Dirt" but my delicate stomach could not handle more stories like this.

Submitted by Ninaliz on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:48am.

I love breakfast burritos.

"Satchels of Gold."

Submitted by Zappy on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:45am.

LMAO @ Hekki

Am so glad I didn't get Clam chowder at Foodtown or it would be gurgling out of my nose now..

Submitted by kokoskitten on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:42am.

Their autobiography "The Dirt" was a really entertaining (ok if you can handle these kind of stories) easy read. It's like 400 pages of their nasty exploits and drug stories that you can get through in a few hours.

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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...

Submitted by Mish on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:40am.

you're really cool for cheating on your girlfriend, fucking other nasty random most likely diseased sluts behind their backs, and for hiding it by rubbing a burrito on your dick. sounds like a guy i wanna be with!

Submitted by Winnyfranfran on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:32am.

What a gross pig.

Submitted by YouAnnoyMeGoAway on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:28am.

Naugles! How I miss thee ... just wasn't the same after Del Taco bought them in the 80's.

Submitted by LAian on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:15am.

First of all, it's "Naugles". Second of all, gross. And lastly, I miss Naugles.

Submitted by kaisurf on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:14am.

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 10:02am.
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 9:56am.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 9:55am

ZACTLY...but I would fuck Tommy...
-------------------------------------

you are what is wrong with this world!... that guy's a douchebag!... and he's got the hep!!

... damn women and their love of douchebags!

-------------------------------------

Yeah, it's like all of Starscream's (the adorably douchebag Transformer) fangirls. Something about the domineering and bad-boy personality combined with secretly just wanting to be cuddled.