Ashton & Demi Have An Open Marriage, So Says His Supposed Side Piece
Brittney Jones, Ashton Kutcher's rumored one-time couch fuck, has ventured out of her cardboard box on the ho stroll once again to try milk more coins out of this non-scandal. In a new interview with Star Magazine (via Radar), Brittney says that Ashton and Demi's private parts are open to others as long as they play around together. Demi wasn't pissed off because Ashton wet humped on another chick, she was made because he did it without her. That made Demi's vag frown. This is the mess that Brittney said:
“Ashton said he and Demi have an open relationship and have threesomes often. I didn't feel at all like he had just cheated on his wife. It felt normal and OK. He (Ashton) said they share women, but he isn’t supposed to go off and sleep with women on his own. He explained that he and Demi had a deal where they had to share lovers. He felt bad that he had been with me and didn’t share.”
You know now that I really let my brain go there, this does make sense. I can totally picture Ashton and Demi as that skeezy swingers couple from HBO's Real Sex circa 1990s. They troll the club for little young things together and when they pounce on one, they all pile into Ashton's burgundy Cadillac DeVille with tan leather seats and go back to "the crib." Demi sits in the backseat with the girl and strokes her thigh while Ashton brags about how he had lunch with Les Moonves.
When they get back to the house, they take the spiral staircase down to Demi and Ashton's "love den" which is decked out in wood paneled walls, emerald green shag carpeting and a giant round bed covered in a black panther bedspread. Ashton changes into a zebra print thong and tells the girl to choose from a variety of teddies in the mirrored closet. Then Ashton pulls out a bottle of sparkling pink wine (because the ladies love it) from the nightstand/cooler next to the bed and pours a glass for all of them. Ashton and the girl get into bed together and since he can't grow chest hair, he puts on a hair bib for her to stroke while they watch Demi dance on a makeshift stage in the corner.
Yes, you know which dance Demi does. Demi's Dance of the Seven Seizures:
Seriously, that's totally how it plays out. And don't even get me started on the key parties Ashton and Demi go to.
• 
Usually don't stick up for celebs but I just worked on a movie (as an extra) that Demi was in, and happened to be seated next to her for most of the weekend. I have to say she was the nicest, and friendliest celeb (Siobhan Fallon was pretty cool too) on the set by far.
Ashton was there too (not in the movie, but just there to be with Demi) and did not speak to anyone who wasn't "somebody".
Not sure I believe the cheating rumors. I heard this girl has been obsessed with Ashton for a long time.
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
I usually have to look away when I see something majorly embarrassing and/or awkward. But this is classic.
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http://mitchmode.blogspot.com/
WHAT!?!? Does she have crap in her pants!?!? She "dances" like Frankensteins' monster walks....well with all those plastic surgeries...SHE IS FRANKENSTEINS' MONSTER!!! GONG!!!
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"I'm not doing shit to him, but fucking and having my career" ~ Montana 2010
Demi's dance reminds me of when the resort employees at some all-clusive dominican resort pull my mom's drunk ass on stage and get her to shake it, on vacation I let that shit fly otherwise I think I would probably be mortified..also LES MOONVES? Hilarious.
Ugh, I just watched the video. She's one of THOSE girls...the ones who can't dance and just shake a little and flip their hair then shake some more and caress their hair...basically all they do is play with their hair all night because they think it's sexy and people won't notice they can't dance (except they think they CAN and that they're being really sexy about it too).
WTF is she wearing??
So is Demi allowed to bring another man into the bed?
Ashton and Demi are probably shaking their heads and laughing in total disbelief at the nerve of this lying Brittney bitch. They prob never heard of her before she jumped on the coattails of the Tiger Wood's cheating crap. Yeah, cheating's in the air so it must be contagious. Now Ashton has caught the disease. Good time to sell a bullshit cheating story to the media for $$$$$$. I feel sorry for celebs sometimes. There's not much they can do to protect themselves from the lies the fame seekers sell.
Is it only the poon they are sharing or are they also sharing when she has a peen on the side? Or is she strictly a lesbo-a-gogo when it comes to swinging?
So most people here believe that Ashton is the asshole husband cheating on his poor wife? Wake up, it's Hollywood.
not surprised about the open marriage...I have been saying this for years!!!!
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"The best way to keep your figure is to give your food to the hungry" - Audrey Hepburn
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I hate both of them with a passion. That is all!
Submitted by A.cotw on Thu, 10/07/2010 - 2:36am.
Memo to Demi:
1.Put the drink down.
2. Put Hordog Ashton down.
3. Sit down.
4. Do not inform us of anything via Twitter.Well,not without MK's permission,since your virtual idiocy inspires him.
5. Form a charity.
6.Have a fund raiser for the tragically unhip victims of Rhythm Deficiency Anemia
7. Slide into premature senility.
...
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Dear lord. I nearly choked to death on a cheese cracker reading number seven. Hilarious.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Abandoned Couchfuck.
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“Four be the things I'd be better without; love, curiousity, freckles and doubt.”
Wasn't this a blind item a few weeks back where this marriage was open with the wife liking lesbian sex.
who knew Demi went that way?
So well. When on the island of Lesbos, do as the Lesbians do? I guess!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
I keep saying this but I feel a lot of Hollywood is whole lot like "Eyes Wide Shut". That movie always comes to my mind when I hear stuff like this. And if it IS true than Hollywood is definitely a road paved to Hell.
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I Love You More
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I knew it. Demi would do anything to keep this guy.
She is the ugly duckling who grew up to have plastic surgery and now she's bagged herself a "hot" guy so it's time to relive her teenage years the way she always wanted to. I still like her though.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
I wonder if John Travolta shares his lovers with his wife.
This explains why Bruce always vacations with them.
Dear You Two, take your filthy Hollywood luchre and go home. It's just embarrasing now. (Though not as embarrasing as the fact that can't-dance-Demi still dances better than I do). Note to the big-mouthed skank(s) - it's your job to keep your whore mouth shut unless there's dick or snatch in front of it demanding attention. Bad skank! BAD!
*snort*...i brought up this demi/ashton 3some yesterday in the open topic...the only comment i have is that i don't believe it's just girl/girl/guy...i believe there's some guy/guy/girl action going on too...
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don't slap me cuz i'm not in the mood....
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Wed, 10/06/2010 - 8:41pm.
And add me to the Dlisters Who Can't Dance Club. I'm pretty shitty
Same. The more I drink, the better my dancing gets...in my mind at least :)
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Drink...Fight...Fuck
Asston's movies all suck, Demi is no longer relevant, and she couldn't dance in that stripper movie either...if they wanted me to do a threesome I would be insulted. They are so unsexy and turning the corner on irrelevancy. I hate tweeterers with a passion, but for real, who cares about these two fucktards anyhow???
That clip! Hahahahaha! Its so amazingly awkward I almost feel bad for her.
"Look Ashton, I'm still sexy! Aren't I!? LOOK AT ME ASH...*Breaks hip*
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Drink...Fight...Fuck
I cosign every comment that's been left so far and all I will add is that she was dancing to different music originally (Beautiful by Snoop Dogg), it wasn't any better or more rhythmic then though.
Not that I'm one to judge ... :(
she's so desperate...he's so over it.
yerg
That clip makes me cringe. She's so desperate to prove to that dink that she's not old and is still hot. She is still hot but she is so not cool - 'Dance of the Seven Seizures' - ha!! She's the new Elaine Benes. I can't imagine how she'll crumble when he leaves her or when the surgery can't perform miracles any longer, whatever comes first. I would not want to be an ageing woman in Hollywood.
http://gossipkillerss.blogspot.com/
i want to like them i do, but i just dont...
Hair bib!
Now that is the most hilarious thing I've read in ages.
Oh the visuals.
hahaha
Jesuuss.....tell these two bitches to STFU and sit the fuck down....I can't stand third rate actors who are douche-bags thinking they are still relevant...and that f'ing dance...i hear granny's joints squeak...
21 seconds in and onwards is just so funny...
And I like these two.
The next time I feel attracted to someone ten or 15 years younger than me, I'll think of these two. bwahahaha. Wonder what her kids think of all the fuckery and how the hell can they turn out "normal" i.e. without problems, with adults (use that term loosely) like this raising them. Sad.
Memo to Demi:
1.Put the drink down.
2. Put Hordog Ashton down.
3. Sit down.
4. Do not inform us of anything via Twitter.Well,not without MK's permission,since your virtual idiocy inspires him.
5. Form a charity.
6.Have a fund raiser for the tragically unhip victims of Rhythm Deficiency Anemia
7. Slide into premature senility.
That is all.
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A citizen of the world
MK I think you've found yet another calling in life as one of those classy (my creepy drunk uncle) erotic literature authors! I really felt like I was there!
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 10/07/2010 - 12:46am.
Can I bring my teddy bear?
Oh...and g'night!
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Nothing quite matches self righteousness for the sake of not being self righteous.
At least Demi wasn't dumb enough to take fertility drugs and give birth to twins knowing that she can't keep her boy toy around for long. Hummmm...who am I thinking of?
http://beensnookered.blogspot.com
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 10/07/2010 - 12:32am.
this happens before or after i get to beat the ever living snausages outta Kutcher?
i need to know... i don't wanna be sweaty!
on that note... i'm gonna go to bed... with christine... and PSL... and Khensu... and... ya know, anybody else that's willing!... heeheehee!
*edited*... don't forget that cakey comes to bed with me too!!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 10/07/2010 - 12:02am
Well, you know...
"blush"
You and I were are about the same age, and, well, Let's just put it this way,
I would not leave you with any energy to check out any other girl".... blush.
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You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
The sad thing is I remember that episode of Silk Stockings.
These two are self-centered douchebags so they deserve each other.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 10/07/2010 - 12:02am.
i'll say it again... Ashton Kutcher can go fuck himself!!
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<3
I dunno about all the swangin' bizness, prolly true, but I just plan on using the phrase "Dance of The 7 Seizures" every damn chance I get from now on.
WOW she stinks of insecurity and baby soft, I can smell it from here!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 10/06/2010 - 11:39pm.
well, yeah... Demi is hot!... can't say anything other than that...
she still goes in the "douchebag file" along with her "husband"... i don't even like to award him the title because you have to make some sort of commitment to be worthy of it...
i'll say it again... Ashton Kutcher can go fuck himself!!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
That video was beyond embarassing and the long black hair is making her look like an old hag in this picture. Aging is not a disease, honey, it's a privilege. And since resistance is futile in any event, you might just as well do it gracefully.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by dementa on Wed, 10/06/2010 - 9:30pm.
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Explains a lot for me too.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
oh noz, PSL! You done gone said the magic word! Confession: I loveloveLOVE my some cracktastic julesinsd tat rants ;D
Optimism is a political act. Those who benefit from the status quo are perfectly happy for us to think nothing is going to get any better. In fact,these days cynicism is obedience. - Alex Steff
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 10/06/2010 - 11:22pm.
Sing it, brotha! Let it all loose!
*high five*
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Nothing quite matches self righteousness for the sake of not being self righteous.
julesinsd, I also think they have tattoos. That would make them the most disgusting.
heehee
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Tonight my tears might stain your wings, so flutter home
Cause you're better off alone than with me
-Chris Cornell