Det. La Toya + The Busey = GOLD
The cast of The Whore Pit Viper Extravaganza (official name: Celebrity Apprentice) hasn't been officially announced yet, but Donald Trump's gang of wrecks met in Las Vegas last weekend for a launch party before shooting starts in NYC, so names have leaked and it's a mess. I knew Detective La Toya was doing it, but I didn't know about Gary Busey. It almost reads like the patient list on a sign-in sheet at a crazy house. Here's the supposed cast list courtesy of Zap2It:
Detective La Toya Jackson: Beauty icon, Bubbles' confidante and protegee of Sherlock Holmes.
Mark McGrath: The evil and Sun-In-ed minion responsible for that annoying "Fly" song.
Dionne Warwick: Singer, actress, my messenger and alleged friend of the good shit.
Jose Canseco: Former baseball player, former roid aficionado and former Madge victim.
Lil Jon: Rapper and dentist's nightmare (or dream, depending on the dentist).
Star Jones: A LAWYER and Gay Al Reynolds' ex purse holder.
Gary Busey: Crazy's best customer, of course, of course.
Marlee Matlin: Oscar winning actress!!
David Cassidy: The ghost of Justin Bieber's future.
Niki Taylor: Supermodel and co-host of that Make Me A Supermodel tragedy
Meat Loaf: Like you need to ask....
Nene Leakes: One of the Real Foreclosed Housewives of Atlanta.
Lisa Rinna: Actress, reality star, store owner, and lip abuser.
Richard Hatch: First winner of Survivor, tax cheater and the winner of Mr. Sweet Prison Nalgas '08.
Hope Dworaczyk: Some trick.
John Rich: One half of the country duo Big & Rich.
Star Jones is going to wish she still had some chunk when NeNe tries to stomp on her in the boardroom. Lil Jon is going to wish he was bald when Gary Busey refuses to stop nibbling on his dreads. And EVERYONE is going to wish they didn't sign up for this mess when Detective La Toya reveals all of their secrets in front of a roaring fireplace.
When this shit is over Trump Tower will be nothing but dust and all that will be left will be Donald Trump's hair and one of Gary Busey's Chiclets. I can't wait.