The Real Star Of The Patridge Family!
Ceiling Eyes has the charisma of a microwaved lima bean and now we know why! Bitch's mom kept it all for herself. After Audrina Patridge was bathed in the red light of death on Dancing with the Scars last night, she went to Beso for her final meal and her mother Lynn drowned her sorrows in everything on the cocktail menu and then some. White Oprah better walk faster, look over her shoulder every ten seconds and schedule an appointment with her chiropractor, because Mama Lynn is coming to snatch her game. Necks will snap!
While smoking a Skydancer outside of the restaurant, a drunken Mama Lynn delivered a poignant monologue where she verbally massacred everyone from Lauren Conrad ("pissy little fashion shit") to the girls on The Hills ("Fucking Hills girls? Hills TRAMPS!"). Mama Lynn then goes on to call her daughter a classy girl who is going on to bigger and better things including a reality show which she's starring in (YES!). If this mess of a speech was a cocktail it would contain Peach Schnapps, the saliva produced from a slur, a wet cigarette butt, whatever kind of wine was on special at Albertson's and a chewed up piece of gum found stuck to a Nine West heel. That cocktail would be called a "Jibby Kibble."
This is my favorite rendition of Rose's Turn EVER! I swear, this is some beautiful shit you usually only see 3 hours after happy hour in the parking lot of a Bennigans in the Valley.
And they say that flowers can't grow in between sidewalk cracks. Well, this is more than a flower, this is a straight up STAR and she's shooting all the way into the air. Happy America!
Splash (Thanks Yvette)
• 
Yes. Her "wuh?" face when he tries to correct her: "I'm a celebrity photojournalist".
I'd like a reality show of her on a date with lohans father.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Fakers are everywhere: http://tinyurl.com/2764l4z
There can't really be any doubt that America is DONE!
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
Kelly for Hot Slut of the Day!
I think I might start describing myself as "a Polish Catholic Fucking Full on Italian!”
Please...Audrina probably sent her mom out there. She just announced her new reality show....this is the best kind of advertisement you can get. Audrina just got a whole new audience for her show...people watching just to see the crazy mom. The show also follows Audrina's family of course. Audrina is about as exciting and smart as dryer lint. Her mom just brought in the viewers for her.
Awwww, poor Audrina. Fuck i'd be pissed too if my mom went out and started an incoherant tirade to the first camera she seen on the street.
I've never had anything against Audrina. Yeah, she may have the personality of a door nail, but like Jessica Simpson, she's never hurt nobody, not gotten busted with LiLo candy, or in & out of rehab for that matter.
Fucking A??? Is this 1987? Who says "Fucking A" anymore? OMG! Poor Audrina.
Pearl Necklace is the Hot Slut who said that the deranged stage mothers should have their own MTV show.
This explains Audrina's resolute dullness-she is overcompensating for her troglodyte mother. Now any show Audrina does will become an episode of 'The Lady or the Tiger'-everyone will be on edge, hoping Mama Pottymouth Partridge will unleash some drunken rant or try to molest the youngest crew members. Film student interns, beware!
Oh SNAP! I love this Bitch! Get it ma-ma!
As a fellow Polish Catholic, I must say, I'm mortified. Don't bring our hardworking people into this mess.
*** what goes down, must come up ***
Can someone please tell me how old she is.
"Hell hath no fury like a scorned mother...who is living vicariously through her children" LOVE IT!!
Jibby Kibble - - LMAO someone MUST snatch that up as a moniker.
Cringeworthy - I always kinda liked Audrina but this vid just cemented it. Throw MommaP in a room w/White O, Mel, Charlie and a case of JD and let the cameras ROLL, baby!
That shit is gold! GOLD I tells ya!
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UPDATE! No-one gives a shit!
~~Tourettes Guy
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"and..and..she's got class and...and...you know why? YOU KNOW WHY?"
"'cause she comes from you"
"OH! FUCKIN' A! She's a polish Catholic....!"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG you just can't write this shit.
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"UPDATE! No-one gives a shit!"
~~Tourettes Guy
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This is verbal GOLD!
"Only the shrong survive Hollywood"
"Drina is going to fucking RISE! And sheesh got class!"
"Fucking A- she's a fucking Polish Catholic fuckin' full on Italian!"
"No schtop I wanna shay my last words"
"I don give a shit, I ain't scared of paparraazi's"
"Splash will kick your ash if you fuck with me"
"Drina's rollin'! You wanna piece a me baby!"
"Dancing Wish Sha Shtars rocks!"
"Fuck the Hills tramps my baby's a STAR! Sheesh the only one that has some class and I don't give a fuck about it!"
"After Jibny Kimmel it was really good I had my thirst three glasses of wine and I usually don't drink"
"Happy America, we're all America, Boo Yah!"
I''m feisty tonight and I don't drink!"
Ahhhh! Lmfao!!! Michael you nailed it again! "A chewed up piece of gum on nine west shoe"... "a bennigan's in the valley" LOL-if the shoe fits...!!
Take a good hard look Audrina-this is you in 20 yrs.
Can't wait for a mudwrestling match btwn her and white oprah! Let the coke and booze flow and see what happens!!
Never watched The Hills, but I feel bad for Audrina. She didn't deserve to get kicked off DWTS, and Serial Mom is not helping matters. I bet Dina Lohan isn't the only one getting advice from Kris Jenner. After all, she's famous and on TV because someone peed on her daughter on video. That's the goal of all these vicariously-living freaks, right? Whoever said all these fools should get a show together is pure genius.
She is a dead ringer for a hyper-crazed, skeery soccer mom I know...Hell hath no fury like a scorned mother...who is living vicariously through her children.
Holy shit, this actually made me feel SO bad for Audrina, who I usually could give two shits about. She must be absolutely MORTIFIED. UG, imagine having this person as your mother!! No wonder she has the personality of a tree stump. Her mom probably never let her talk!!
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
Imagine what parent-teacher conferences were like with this bitch.
Ohdamn, fking ENCORE. Nothing, and I mean nothing, needs to be changed with that scene. Perfect, to a T, drunkard scene. Love the friend coming in and the refusal-for-aid-gettin-loud part. Spontaneous combustion at its finest.
Agreed MK, re: Bennigan's parking lot shit.
If Audrina's mom didn't want to go viral the next day looking the fool, she should've just flipped the bird, put the cig out and gone inside. She was aware of the camera there, and addressed it, thus no filming pity from me.
*back to boring research paper shenanigans*
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Poor Audrina. I feel even more sorry for her now. How embarassing.
take a bow, Mom.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Mama can focus her eyes better after 12 voddys than Audrina could on her best day!
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
When did Ceiling Eyes turn 40?
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HOW DAAAAARRRRRREEEE YOU?! Look at my avvie! LOOK AT IT!
Oprah was born to pontificate (and bloviate as well). Her superpowers are located in her hair thankyouverymuch - by But.Seriously.Folks
This is why I don't drink alcohol!! There are just some people who should try to stay away from the hard stuff. But, I'll tell you one thing . . . if Mama Ceiling Eyes is going to be on daughter's reality show, I'm gonna watch the shit out of it!!! Can't wait!!
well she is about one step ahead of Shauna Sand, Empress of Lucite, in the mom department, but really drunks should avoid cameras at all costs instead of embrace them...her daughter is a reality t.v. star, not an oscar nominated or oscar winning actres...I mean has she been in a movie at all??? Thank God my mom was a normal mother, and not a Hollywood stage mom...they are worse then their kids (I am talking to you White Oprah (slut), Kris Jenner (Hitler), and all the other trainwreck mom's out there)..
This bitch is FUCKING HOT!!! How did Audrina turn out to be such a boring, skygazing turd??
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
iwould rather watch Audrina than Bristol stiff as a BORED and Jennifers pity dance.
Audrinas Mom needs her own show.;>
=//\+_O/\\\=
Mrs. Cobb:"And they used Bon Ami!"
You know she's DYING inside because horseshit like Toddlers and Tiaras didn't exist when she was grooming her daughter for stardom.
Just another woman who shouldn't have had a daughter. I loathe the type who live vicariously through their girls because they couldn't make it themselves.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
My stepkids would rather crawl in a hole and die than have me "defend" them like that. And if my kids ever "defended" me like that, I'd disown their asses. How fucking embarrassing.
I say Michael K puts this tramp up v. Jennifer Cuntkov as Mom of the Year.
Truth: the drunk doesn't fall far from the tree, and alcohol is truth serum. Fuckin drunk ass ho. Gee, her "baby" should be so proud right now.
They're all pathetic H'wood hos who need to be bitch slapped and tolkd THEY ARE NOT ALL THAT!!! fuck this drunk ass bitch and her "calssy" daughter with her tits hanging out all over the place and her wonky eyes. fuck em all.
Now we know how Audrina got those ceiling eyes Obviously, Mama Lynn was drinking while pregnant.
See, it's clips like these that remind me of the need to call my Mom and thank her for being the sane, sober, and stable parent that she was, and still is. She was a fierce Mama Bear too, but SO less drunk and profane.
How humiliating- she's awfully lucky to lack the dignity for which to feel shame over this childlike tirade. The world today is becoming more and more like the one in "Idiocracy" each day. (sigh)
yeah i will only swear in writing from now on ass god is my witnass
omg can someone KILL these idiots PEOPLE just run this stupid ho and her ugly ass no talent daughter the hell over. they needed stricter immigration rules when they let her inbred ass ancestors into ellis island
Submitted by Erika_Leigh on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 7:11am.
You know what, i thought the same thing. I swear at times in adult convos but that clip made me reconsider. I think i ll reduce my swearing to written form on Dlisted.
I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
Submitted by Mrs. F. on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 7:05am.
Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 6:59am.
i nominate this drunken bitch for "mama of the year"...
indeed, i hope MK will repost next Mother's Day....
great start to my workday, thanks MK!
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she does has stiff competition from white oprah, but i think she can pull it off...we'll have to watch what unfolds when mother's day comes around...
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
oh jesus christ she's POLISH i'm soooo ashamed i'm going to go stick my head in the sand now. i'm never swearing again i didn't realize how bad its sounds. but the camera guys on this shit is the best they talk to these fools like they care and the idiots don't even realize their are being made fools of by these camera guys lOL well she IS a polack
Damn. I am embarrassed FOR her. And don`t even know this drunken ho.
I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 6:59am.
i nominate this drunken bitch for "mama of the year"...
indeed, i hope MK will repost next Mother's Day....
great start to my workday, thanks MK!
i nominate this drunken bitch for "mama of the year"...
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
"Only the strongs survives Hollywood?... And I'll tell you what... She's got grits..."
"And I'll tell you what. Drina is gonna fucken RISE!..."
Take THAT, DListed slunts, and stuff it in yer crack pipes.
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus
HAPPY AMERICA!! fuck I love this clip
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
NOT GOD'S WILL
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
JOE!! xoxox Can you imagine Mama Patridge at the PTA meetings?
"Fuck all you parentsh, my baby ish the fucking bomb! Her macrame project beatsh thosh other little bitchesh, handsh down, assholsh! MY BABY ISH A FUCKING SHUPERSHTAR!!
When did it become acceptable to be so vulgar? If I spoke like that in front of my children, they would srsly faint.
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Trick Pony
"She is fat and I am cross- eyed with bad skin. We all have flaws. Hers is the fatness."
Submitted by salacious on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 4:58am
She would have made that fugly, freaky masseur at the red Door Spa in Florida run screaming for security, a priest AND his mamacita. Trust.
*sings 'The Lady is a Tramp'*
This is manna from heaven. My favorite part is when when Mama Patridge calls the guy behind the camera a paparazzi and he corrects her by stating that he's actually a "celebrity photo journalist"....
So there, not only mommy is deluded.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 1:25am.
My word. Children, especially daughters, tend to feel protective about their mothers. In your case, you WERE the responsible adult. That was not easy, nor was it really avoidable-no one choses to be psychologically unbalanced. Obviously,it made you strong.
BTW, thanks for sharing and for laughing. I wasn't joking when I tried to describe Mama Partridge-reminds me of this UCLA cheerleader who told me her mother did lines of coke with her, her sisters, and the boyfriends!
*hugs CSG*