Take That, Tim Burton!
On last night's Dancing with the Has-Beens and Never-Wases, ABC gave the cosmos an inferiority complex when they announced the ALL-STAR CAST of their new reality shit show Skating with Bitches Who Are Slightly More Famous Than The Homeless Mooner At My Subway Stop (But Not Really)!
Every time a new "star" was revealed, it felt like someone just shoved an entire bottle of Simply Sleep up my culo (wink wink...zzzzzzz). But just when I was about to switch the channel to something more stimulating (aka Mah Boo 369me) to my parts, the following name sent a shot of adrenaline straight into my soul: SEAN "Should've Been Catwoman" YOUNG!!!!!
While I was busy putting Skating with the Stars on my Tivo's menu, every pharmaceutical company and mental health organization was on the phone with ABC to buy premium ad space during this ice cold crazy disaster. Sean Young is crazier than a pack of Mel Gibsons and dignity stopped taking her calls decades ago, so this should be good. I'm going to call it right now, Sean Young is going to glide to victory! But I'm only saying that because I'm sure every weak bitch on this show is going to break their ass bones while Sean will only slightly break whatever is left of her sanity. YES!
Anyways, here's the cast of lucky nobodies who will witness Sean's theatrical insanity for themselves:
Rebecca Budig - Greenlee on All My Children
Bethenny Frankel - Reality star and maker of the worst cocktails ever
Vince Neil - Tish Cyrus' next conquest
Brandon Smith - Disney star
Jonny Mosely - Olympic gold-medal
Seriously, this shit makes the cast of Fox's Skating with Celebrities look like the list of presenters at the Oscars.
And this just in, USA Today says that the Crystal Enchantress of the Ice Johnny Weir is going to be a judge. The glittery icing on the batshit crazy cake!
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"Sean Young is crazier than a pack of Mel Gibsons"
OMG too effing funny!
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
I'm worried that all the twirling will make Vince toss last night's kamikazes.
SKATING?LOL no no no... the accidents,injuries,quitters,whining, the cold,overweight stars in the outfits....LMAO ... iwant to see JohnnyW skate that is all.:)))))
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"Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing."~ George Carlin
They will all be very entertaining because falling on zee butt is the best part of any ice skating folly I mean competition.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 10:12am.
If Johnny Weir is judging then I am watching!!
They should get Evan Lysacek to be a judge too and those two queens can fight like wet cats, or kiss and make up, either way I want to see it!
(P.S. wasn't there another skating with the stars show a few years ago? And the chick from the original Buffy movie was in it, fucking on some other woman's husband? Did I hallucinate that?)
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LMAO-- two queens...so true.
and yeah-- Kristy Swanson fucked on Lloyd Eisler (sp?) and he left his wife. Another cheating couple who didn't get judged as harshly as Lee Ann and Eddie are right now.
Holy fucking shit on a Zamboni. What a godawful mess. Vince Neil can't even do the chicken dance! I can't wait to hear what Nikki Sixx has to say about this.
And yes, Michael K, I agree. Just give the crazy trophy (and the CRAZZZEEEE trophy) to Sean Young right now. Bats escaped from her fucking belfry in fright a damn long time ago.
(Plus, can American TV not come up with an original idea? This has been on Canadian tv for awhile now.)
Why? Why? Why?
"This year Halloween fell on a weekend..." Mind Playing Tricks On Me!
Vince Neil won't actually be skating. He will be dragged behind a Zamboni.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
How can Vince Neil possibly skate? He has problems with alcohol and has done every drug known to mankind.
Skating on ice my ass. Tripping and flipping on ice is more like it.
Who watches these shows?
Sean Young was the Queen of Crazy when Lindsay and Brit=Brit were still in Pampers. I hope she brangs it.
And while Bristol Palin seems like a perfectly nice, (though w/o any type of personality), girl who gets along well with others and is well-liked, bitch looks like a breadbox with legs when she dances. Vote her off! And take whiny ass Jennifer Grey with her.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 11:40am.
You consider Palin a legit politician?
Submitted by jalynne on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 12:49pm.
I like the Fucking with the Stars idea...
Isn't that's what dlisted is all about?
I like the Fucking with the Stars idea. Maybe, they can mess with some Celebrities on Parole. When the Squatting Quaids get house arrest someone can set up a vacant house across the street and see how fast their ankle alarms go off.
You guys are so lucky for being able to watch this audio-visual treat. I'm major jealous of you right now.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Yup, Sean has been on the young and the restless for about two months now. she's playing a crazy bitch who is after the very rich victor newman for his money.
eric roberts plays a lawyer on that show too.
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You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
Laces OUT, Sean Young!
It went for Ray Finkle, it goes for you, too.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
I really really can't get over how DWTS is pimping Sarah Palin. She was on again last night, I didn't see any of the other contestants parents or any other politicians on there
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TASTES LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS!
This is gonna be funny in a cringe worthy way.
Anyone here old enough to remember "The Battle of the Network Stars?"
The cheese factor is off the charts!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDgrwDfowKk
Jill Zarin must be so jealous. Remember her ice skating on RHONY, and she fell? Ha, ha, ha!!! You could tell that she fancied herself a pretty good skater.
This show looks and smells like a hot mess, but I think Bethanny is in on the joke. And if Bristol Palin can be a "star," really, anyone, anything, can be too.
I can't STAND Eric Roberts....!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Eric Roberts is on "Y&R," too.
Sean Young is on Youg and the Restless which floored me when my mom turned it on to watch! She would have NEVER been on a soap opera back in her heyday of thinking she was all that!!
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I Love You More
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ZZZzzzzZZZZzzz..............
who are these people?? I only know who that bethtththththaaanneeeyy girl is and I am ashamed of that.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
she's not me
Didn't they try this before on Fox with like Christy Swanson or something?
Not a Chola, Not Yet a Woman
Vince Neil is a fucking murderer. He doesn't deserve any air time.
Ha, I was getting angrier and angrier as they introduced these nobodies last night, thinking Who the fuck are these people, and then when Sean Young came on at the end, I got all excited.
I predict she'll suck skating, she has too big a stick up her ass.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato
Isn't Vince Neil a raging alcoholic? Seeing him on skates may be worth the watching.
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Sweet Jesus, please give me Intervention on Ice. "Your family loves your triple axels like crazy."
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MK, I love you like a fat kid loves cake - MissJaneTexas
Slurpee, not sure about Marie. This is the first year I've tried watching the show, other than the Kate Gosselin clips posted here last year.
Submitted by yahbutnobut on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 10:42am.
I swear Sean Young is Meggie on "The Young and Restless"....Does anyone know for sure??
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yup, she is.
.... what?!... my sister watches it!... i swear!!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 10:00am.
and the real money show:
Fucking with the Stars <---what America really wants to see. Sooner or later we will all get a casting call when these shit shows run out of "stars" that no one has a clue who they are. The world is truly coming to an end.
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Yessssss, this can work! I can see it now: Sean Young is really struggling with her reverse cowgirl. She's gonna have to stick the dismount to have any chance of going to the next round because I heard Bethenny is pulling out all the stops with a dirty sanchez routine.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
I swear Sean Young is Meggie on "The Young and Restless"....Does anyone know for sure??
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 9:45am.
Bethenny Frankel is a bottomless pit of need. She tries to come off as confident but she needs validation the way Charlie Sheen needs hookers.
It's annoying and pathetic.
For real, and think you live on the east coast, do you ever see her out?
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 10:33am.
Vern, we already have Menopause with the Stars, it's called Jennifer Grey's melodramatic "Chosen One" campaign on DWTS. I stopped watching because I got so tired of her - the crying, the exaggerated facial expressions, the flopping on the floor like she was going to die.
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Wasn't that Marie Osmond's schtick the year she was on?
Vern, we already have Menopause with the Stars, it's called Jennifer Grey's melodramatic "Chosen One" campaign on DWTS. I stopped watching because I got so tired of her - the crying, the exaggerated facial expressions, the flopping on the floor like she was going to die.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 10:23am.
Sean Young and Vince Neil are the only two names I recognize.
"Finkle, Einhorn, Finkle, Einhorn...."
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"Finkle IS Einhorn!"... now i have to revisit the "Theatre of Pain" days to see if Vince and Sean wear the same makeup!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Sean Young and Vince Neil are the only two names I recognize.
"Finkle, Einhorn, Finkle, Einhorn...."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 10:15am.
i hear ya... can't go wrong with boobs... wait, i could be wrong... you know Vince Neil is gonna be the one to flash 'em!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Sean Young might be slightly wacky, but she was beautiful in Blade Runner. Love that movie.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
I love the Pooping and Garage Sale ideas! The truly scary thing is that you know there are "stars" that would appear on these shows. With the success of "Choco Teeth" on the internet, it's apparent that some overpaid producer in Hollywood is kicking himself that he didn't think that idea up first...and then get someone like Tila Tequila to accept the challenge.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
I want to see lots of wardrobe malfunctions from the ladies.... maybe some no panty wearin upskirts... or boobs. boobs will do nicely. *taps mic* this thing on?
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
i loves me some Sean Young - have really missed her all these years - girlfriend knew how to put out the crazy back in the day...
the Shopping Bags did an episode on some cookbook Bethenny Frankel put out a while back...the results were, of course, utterly crapulent...
http://www.wnetwork.com/Shows/Anna-Kristinas-Grocery-Bag/Episodes.aspx#E...
'...SPARKLE!!!!!...'
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 10:10am.
Oh my god.
You're making me laugh so much at that "Wango Tango" visual and I already have to pee. Halp.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.
Dumpster diving with the stars.
Menopause with the stars.
*chanting as always*
Submitted by poo on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 10:06am.
*reminds self to include Director's Cut edition of "Blade Runner" DVD on Christmas list (to be posted on FB on 11/21/10, with daily updates)*
Upgrade to Blu-ray. Blade Runner looks stunning.
We're in the Golden Age of WHORES (YAY!!!) - MK
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 10:04am.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 9:58am.
Sounds like a plan.
We could actually have a larger variety of "contestants" on here than any other show. The last one to get hunted down wins a million dollars but must survive the bonus round.
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the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming "Wango Tango!" in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field
... and then the money is given to charity as a "twist ending"... i think this has Fox Broadcasting all over it!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
If Johnny Weir is judging then I am watching!!
They should get Evan Lysacek to be a judge too and those two queens can fight like wet cats, or kiss and make up, either way I want to see it!
(P.S. wasn't there another skating with the stars show a few years ago? And the chick from the original Buffy movie was in it, fucking on some other woman's husband? Did I hallucinate that?)
How about: Garage Saling with Stars.
WHO WATCHES THIS SHIT?
*reminds self to include Director's Cut edition of "Blade Runner" DVD on Christmas list (to be posted on FB on 11/21/10, with daily updates)*
"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08