As A Million Twihard Hymens Break....

It's a BEAUTY AND THE BEAST story, except the beast is really really good-looking

Releived she is dressed like an adult woman.

The books are all silly and written on a Middle School Reading Level.

Submitted by putsomestankonit on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 2:59pm.

Whoah! Hold up...wait, what?!

Now I want to see that.

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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes

I'm not one of those people who want to burn books just because I disagree with the message, but I received Twilight as a birthday gift in 2005 and I gave up on it because it was just so mushy.

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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes

I fucking hate, hate, hate KS! She is always so sullen and sulky looking. I cannot understand such a miserable bitch wanting to be an actress. She is young, attractive, filthy rich and sleeping with RP...and yet still has a face made of stone. Get over yourself, you rotten little brat! Be fucking grateful that you have a career. If you don't like the attention then FUCK OFF!

I must add that I saw the first film and couldn't believe how bad it was. I actually laughed at most of the serious scenes. Kristen was so OTT, but she managed it without changing her facial expressions, go figure! The girl doesn't have ANY range in her acting. She is just glum, boring and wooden.

Nice pit stains there, Kristen!

eww bieber alert!

Whew! Shooting a scene. I was almost shocked outta my dress thinking they were kissing for real.

♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James

I love KStew, she is a bitch and she knows it, she works it..she is fierce!!!I'm not so sure of her man, he looks too pretty..Whatev, i suppose he is ok for the moment, like a cool fling until the chessy movie wraps, come on, 6 MONTHS! of course she will hitting that...

Karma is a Bitch

What is it with these two always in method mode?? It looks like two sophomores at their fking locker. GET A FKING HOMEROOM. Just uninspiring. Next.

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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan

I've just finished reading the books. I borrowed them, I refused to pay a cent for them! They are poorly written and totally overrated. The repressed Mormon has some basic storytelling skills, I'll give her that, it's an easy read. However, the 4th book was way too long and the ending was a major let-down. I can't even imagine how they are going to portray the rough sex and bloody birth scene.

Not into these two.

Southern Vampire Mysteries. Sookeh. That is all.

I have to admit *swallow* that I find this couple's (IRL.....I don't know much about this movie shit) young romance pretty darn sweet with all kinds of Awwwww.
Plus, he hasn't let the mounds and mounds of teen panty pudding go to his head it seems. He acts like a regular guy.

Submitted by boomsy on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 3:50pm.
Ok, let me get this straight: you guys are telling me that they have such rough sex he essentially beats her up and when she gets pregnant and has a baby he "bites" it out of her? What kind of sick twisted books are these, and why is this being pimped out to children?
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By the time you get to Breaking Dawn, it is no longer a "teen" or young adult novel.

Since Meyer didn't really give you an accurate picture of what happens between Bella and Edward, you have to use your imagination.

Someone said these are the fantasties of a Mormon housewife, I have to agree with that.

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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10

"We Finally Get To Do Each Other" ceremony under an altar of bedazzled Count Chocula boxes. LMAO MK! I watched the first Twilight and found it to be quite dull.

Submitted by Ang on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 4:00pm.
Also, the author claims all their bodily fluids are replaced with vampire venom. But apparently that stuff can knock up a bitch.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

I agree with the poster that says this series is for little girls with no experience with men, or for bitter older women with too much experience with men.
I get the appeal of vampires, I understand why girls are swooning. Imagine someone who lives for centuries and has only ever and will only ever love You. Who is unlike common men, is worldly, vastly intelligent and highly sexual but monogamous. Who desires you so badly he LITERALLY wants to Consume you.
But there are SO many better examples of vampire fiction out there. I Love to read and I wish new generations would pick up books that are the backbone of what this genre is.
Hell, as far as movies go, even Bram Stokers Dracula was more romantic. Gary Oldman's "I have crossed oceans of time to find you."
That's what I'M talkin about.

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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill

What I want to know is how in the hell are we supposed to believe that a 100 year old vampire isn't sterile? Every thing about this douche is dead except for his sperm?

Submitted by boomsy on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 3:50pm.

Yes, that is exactly what happens.

They are the sexual fantasies of a repressed, bitter Mormon housewife who obviously has issues with being expected to get married and pop out kids.

And the people who buy these for their kids are idiots.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Huh? Can someone clarify? In the book, do these twats have really rough sex where someone wakes up bruised and someone is biting a pillow?

And this shit is supposed to be for little girls? baaarrrrfff

Ok, let me get this straight: you guys are telling me that they have such rough sex he essentially beats her up and when she gets pregnant and has a baby he "bites" it out of her? What kind of sick twisted books are these, and why is this being pimped out to children?

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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...

Submitted by Talkdirty2me on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 3:32pm.
Nope, not kidding at all. Edward tells Jacob that outright in "Breaking Dawn."

Probably the women who let their kids read this shit have the same creepy marriage/pregnancy hangups that S. Meyers does.

BTW check out this place if you want more details on how horrible Edward and Bella are:
http://satireknight.wikispaces.com/
In the books, both of them are far, far worse than in the movies. This person is working his way through Twilight and is gonna do the rest of the series.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

1st book was ok. Halfway thru book 2 I wanted them all to die, especially Bella with her moping and whining and jumping off of a cliff. Never read any of the other books.
Saw the first movie and decided that was enough.

Breaking Dawn is one of the worst books ever put on paper. The writing is horrible, you would think after 3 books the author would get better. Plus there are so many plot holes, it really pisses you off when you read it.

Twilighters really need to read something else to see how wonderful books can be and how writing should be done.

Dementa are you kidding me!!?
Who is allowing their kids to read that shit?
I haven't read the books but I've watched the movies with my younger sister. The first one was entertaining, the rest were..ugh.
I've been told though that in the books Edward and Bella's relationship is borderline abusive. He is controlling, possessive and angry, (and apparently from what you're saying, a pimp!) I'm not sure that is what I'd be promoting as an ideal relationship to my daughters if I had any..

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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill

i don't know jack shit about any of this twilight crap but at least these two are serious about their privacy not like that media whoring brangelina

BTW another WTFy moment is when Edward tells Jacob that if he gets Bella to abort their monster brat, then he'll let Jacob fuck her on the weekends and knock her up. The asshole doesn't bother asking Bella about this plan, by the way, just Jacob. Because a woman's input doesn't matter.

I hope they keep that in the movie.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

I heard they aren't gonna film the infamous vampire teeth caesarian. NO FAIR! I demand to see the crackiest WTFiest scene in the whole horrible series! I demand it!

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Yes he bites the pillow also when Bella gives birth to their baby monster and has problems he tears her apart with his fangs to get it out. I love the internet!

"under an alter of bedazzled Count Chocula boxes"...that made me laugh outloud..LOL Good stuff MK..hehe

@ Jeepster - Oh joy another old fart like me. I saw Frank Langella on Broadway in Dracula and he was BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRilliant.

@ Jeepster - Oh joy another old fart like me. I saw Frank Langella on Broadway in Dracula and he was BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRilliant.

Anyone with a mentally higher than 13 would not find these books amusing, entertaining, etc in the least. Purely marketed to the young and dumb who know nothing of love and boys and who havent read too many books to compare twilight to in order to realize how horrible they are.

>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here!

You know, some "eat the pillow" kind of power fucking. That actually happens in that mess of a book. No, I didn't read the book. I read it about on the internet. And yes, "I read it on the internet" is the new "Um...my friend told me."- Michael K

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You didn't read the book???? Oh don't lie, Michael K!!!! You know you are a closeted Twihard and you cant wait to see Bella body all bruised up and fucked to smithereens!

Personally, I did read all 4 books and "Breaking Dawn" have me the most headaches. With the kind of bruising Stephenie Meyer was talking about on Bella, he would have had to take her to the hospital.

Second, there was NO SEX SCENE in the book at all, only describe ~yawn~

I haven't seen any movie since the first one. I just want it to be over with, finally. ~gag~ Honestly, the books are over hyped.

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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10

Submitted by daillestbabyd on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 2:35pm.
i read all the books...and it was horrible. it is what it is...but the ending was a super duper let down. that's what pissed me off

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wasn't*

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I don't need SEX life FUCKS me whenever it can!

i read all the books...and it was horrible. it is what it is...but the ending was a super duper let down. that's what pissed me off

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I don't need SEX life FUCKS me whenever it can!

If I were Kristen and Rob, I'd sign up for twenty of these films cuz anything they've done outside of Twilight has flopped.

As long as it's married hot sex, it's ok, lol. That's what I got out of the piece of crap series (yep, I read 'em all, they sucked :P )

Whut? SEx knocks her unconscious? What about all the Twilight apologists who claim it promotes Chasity atleast.

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"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you." - Philip Larkin.

I wanna see them NOT make jacobb look like a total pedofile with renesme! lmaoooooooo

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I don't need SEX life FUCKS me whenever it can!

Submitted by Sexy Pants on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 1:43pm.

Could you imagine such sex YOUR FIRST TIME? I mean, where do you go from there?

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When they have sex as vamps, supposedly is far better than when they first screwed as vamp/human.

>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here!

Submitted by boomsy on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 1:35pm.
Ok, I've never read the books and watched the first movie as a joke, but doesn't she supposedly get pregnant eventually? How do you get knocked up by a vampire?

hmmm. a PLOT HOLE!

No seriously though, fuck Twilight. Awful book, awful movie, awful actors. Except Peter Facinelli, he is a hot bitch.

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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West

@ dirtywhore mouth, actually the last book in the series was originally split into two books, Bella before she becomes a vamp and Bella after.

>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here!

Their little vampire baby goes from infant to pre-teen in like a year or somethn and once she hits 21 she'll never age and she's destined to be the lover of the warewolf or some gay shizznizz like that.

>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here!

Maybe I have become an old fart (I DO have the occasional craving for Werther's Hard Candies) but frankly, these Twilight Bloodsuckers leave me cold. I realize that every era had their sexy vampire - for me it was Frank Langella, whom I was fortunate to see on stage as Dracula. RPatz does not have it....even old Bela had a bit of come-hither in his eyes, but this new crop - Meh!

okay feeling a bit cranky..off for my afternoon snooze.......

"vaya con huevos mi amigos"

So if two vampires that don't age have a baby, the baby
would be a newborn forever? Sleepless nights, dirty diapers
and crying forever? Woohoo sounds like a dream. I got
kids and babies are cute and all but they don't even begin
to be interesting til toddlerhood.

Submitted by boomsy on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 1:35pm.
Ok, I've never read the books and watched the first movie as a joke, but doesn't she supposedly get pregnant eventually? How do you get knocked up by a vampire?
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i've never read or seen it, but i'd figure it would call for the vampire to stop sucking and start fucking, but.... i have a feeling that nothing could stop this franchise from sucking.

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

"Bedazzled Count Chocula Boxes".

Hahahaha!

As a side note, what the hell? I thought I had seen the last of Twatlight after the sequel. Is this going to be some Harry Potter shit with 14 movies in the series? If so, do you think they can actually get talented, good looking actors to play the lead roles?

Nah, I guess that is asking too much.

just about fart? I'll have to try harder.

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This is why we can't have nice things!

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 1:42pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 11/08/2010 - 1:40pm.
Vampire babies.

WOULD.NOT.BREASTFEED.

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OH SHIT WHORE!! I wasn't expecting that and it made me snort, choke and just about fart with the giggles.

HAHAHAAHAHAH!